Recap: Michael is laying it on thick with his hobbling and stubborn intention of taking the bus to get around town so that Jane will gently chide him for pushing himself too far. He assures her he won't do anything that gets in the way of his full recovery, then natters about how lucky he is to have this second chance at life and vows to "do it right this time". Reed is packing up his stuff while Jo glumly tells him she's going to miss having him underfoot and sponging off of her. A few seconds later, Amanda drops by to deliver the newest annual rental agreement with the standard percentage increase...and once she's out of earshot, Jo grumbles about Amanda having the nerve to increase her rent, considering she's already very rich. Reed perks up at that intel, gives Jo a goodbye smooch, and heads out. Amanda accidentally drops her papers in the courtyard, and Reed rushes over to help her pick them up and wanks her about how much he appreciates her savvy business sense, citing as proof her ownership of the apartment complex, the luxury car she drives, and her executive position at a top ad agency. He tells her that his dream in life is to start a charter boat business, from which a few lucky investors can earn as much as 20% on their investment. Amanda looks intrigued by the generous profit margin and invites him to give her the hard sales pitch tonight at the marina. Over at Escapade Magazine, Celia tells Billy that her apartment is being fumigated for a week, and a worried Billy reminds her it could put a wrench in their workflow for the article they're currently writing. He suggests she stay at his/Alison's place during the fumigation, and Celia mulls that over for a few seconds before accepting his invitation, then rushes off to her apartment to pack up her stuff. Later, as Celia unpacks her bags, Alison tells Billy she's not sure this living arrangement is such a good idea - but Billy assures her it'll be fine, and that they'll have the privacy of her bedroom while Celia bunks in the spare bedroom. As they smooch, Celia good-naturedly tells them to knock it off with the PDA, then informs them that she brought her own groceries 'cause she's super picky about eating only organic.
When Jane arrives home, she's surprised and delighted to find Michael cooking her a big dinner while babbling in a fake Italian accent. He praises her kindness for being there for him despite the mountain of adulterous shit he put her through earlier this season, calls her the most important person in his life, and vows to try very very hard to win back her trust. Jane assures him she's been forgiving him a little at a time, then leans in for a smooch. Over by the pier, Reed explains to Amanda that since the owner of the boat he's now captaining is having financial problems, he's trying to come up with the cash to buy it...and by trying to come up with, he means he's looking for gullible "investors" to help him launch a charter business to use as a front for his post-prison drug dealing operation. Amanda peppers him with questions about the boat's engine, etc. and then explains that boats are a passion for her and that she was practically raised on her dad's yacht [which he, no doubt, purchased with his fraudulently obtained cash]. Reed gets all in her personal space and asks her if she's afraid of him or if she wonders whether or not this investment pitch was merely a ploy to get her to come to the marina, and Amanda chortles at his creepy weirdness, then says she's up for a short cruise so she can see this boat in action. As that's happening, Jo arrives at the pier and calls out to Reed...but he doesn't hear her as he starts up the engine, and so a crestfallen Jo is left watching him sail away with Amanda. The next morning, Billy tells Alison that he and Celia worked on their article all night so they can meet their deadline, and adds that this living arrangement is working out great with respect to their writing process. Alison's like, "That's nice" and grumbles about how Celia drank all of her freshly squeezed orange juice. In the Melrose Place courtyard, Jo snarls at Amanda to stay out of her life and tells her she saw her taking a private boat cruise with Reed last night. She rails at Amanda for her annoying habit of going after other women's men, so Amanda explains that Reed was the one who approached her, and that the boat cruise was part of a pitch to get her to invest in his new charter business. Jo growls that she's not buying any of this and storms off - just as Jake wanders over to ask Amanda whassup with all the arguing. She tells him that Jo got the wrong idea about a business meeting she had with Reed aboard his boat to discuss an investment opportunity, and Jake scrunches his face concernedly and warns her that the guy is an ex-con. Amanda assures him that she's not interested in Reed or his business, not least 'cause he's a creepy weirdo who gives her the heebie-jeebies. Matt is trying in vain to get a table for one at an outdoor patio restaurant when his gaydar detects a friendly fellow diner who suggests they share a table and become acquainted. They introduce each other, then engage in small talk about Matt's social services job at the hospital. Snore. Sydney drops by the hospital to tell Michael that the court date for her ho hearing is coming up, and that she's somehow deluded herself into thinking he might wish to attend and offer her some much needed moral support. Michael sneers, "As if" and says he couldn't possibly be any less interested in doing that...and when Sydney reminds him that she helped him set up Robert, he points out that since he paid her bail, they're even. Sydney angrily threatens to tattle to Jane about his scheme to film Robert in bed with a hooker, and Michael counter-threatens to tattle about her involvement in hiring the hooker. As he hobbles away with his cane, Sydney yells after him that he can't just ignore her or shut her out of his life, and he smugly mutters, "I just did."
Matt complains to Jeffrey about how much he dislikes being a paper pusher in his current job and misses working in more of a hands on capacity the way he used to at the now defunct halfway house. When he asks Jeffrey what he does for living, Jeffrey dodges the question and invites Matt to his place for a one-on-one barbecue. Jo boards Reed's boat and chides Reed for having a secret meeting with Amanda, aka the person she most hates in the world...and Reed assures her it was just business and that he had no clue how intensely she despises the woman. Jo sulkily asks why he didn't ask her to invest in his faux charter business, so he says that love and business don't mix - but Jo argues that love and [financial] support go hand in hand, declares that she's going to need some time to ponder their chemistry-free relationship, and haughtily stalks off. Alison returns home and finds a note from Billy and Celia, who are decompressing at Shooters after writing all day. Attached to the note is a draft of their article, asking her to read it over and offer any input she may have. An emotionally overwrought Sydney goes to Jane's apartment to spill the entire can of beans about Michael's sinister plot to set up Robert with a hooker and a video camera...along with her sad (but brief) descent into an upscale prostitution ring. She confesses that Michael blackmailed her into hiring a fellow hooker to seduce Robert in exchange for keeping quiet about her arrest, and a stunned Jane's all, "OMG!" and agrees that Michael is a force for evil that has sucked them both into his web of lies. She then gives Sydney a sisterly hug and tells her she should have taken better care of her.
Jake tells Amanda he suspects that Reed is up to no good and is therefore getting increasingly concerned about Jo. Amanda agrees that, yep, Reed is creepy all right - but snarkishly reminds him that since he's no longer doinking Jo, her business isn't any of his business. So meow. The next morning, Jane and Sydney hug their problems away, and Jane encourages her to come by any time she ever needs to talk about her life problems. Sydney leaves the apartment and happens to run into Michael...and as Jane tosses his belongings into the courtyard, Sydney sneeringly tells him she confessed all to Jane and that he's screwed. Michael rushes over to Jane and asks her if she's seriously going to believe her "two-bit slut of a sister", and Jane smacks him across the face and blames him for dragging Sydney down to his sewer levels. She rails about how gullible she was to have believed he changed and actually found herself attracted to him again...and when he begs her to listen to his side, she grabs his cane and throws it into the pool, then slams the door in his face. Celia thanks Alison for reading her/Billy's article and making such helpful notes, and remarks on what a great editor she is. Alison tells her that she and Billy seem to write really well together, and Celia admits that, implausible as it may be, Billy has a lot of talent...then laughingly asks her to not tell him she said that 'cause she doesn't want it to go to his head. A defeated looking Michael retreats to his beach house, dejectedly pulling his suitcase-on-wheels behind him. He stares at framed photographs of himself and Kimberly, then suddenly grimaces in sweaty pain as he swallows several painkillers. Jake shows up at the marina unannounced and snidely tells Reed he has "some operation going". When Reed asks him what the hell he wants, Jake says he came by to see what all of the hoopla is about, then abruptly chirps, "See ya!" and saunters off with an incensed Reed glaring after him. Nancy Donner compliments Billy and Celia on their excellent article and jokingly suggests they make their current living arrangement permanent. She wanks them about how they're the best staff writers the magazine has, and that the brass would like to promote one of them to junior editor. To that end, they're going to be entered into a competition so that the big cheeses can make a fair assessment of who deserves the job most, then gives them each a copy of an article and says whoever makes the best edits wins. Sydney arrives at Jane's apartment with a bucket of popcorn and a movie, and Jane decides 'ah what the hell, let's have a sisters only movie night' and invites her inside. A few seconds later, a drugged out Michael calls and slurringly guilts Jane for kicking him to the curb, then moans about how desperately he needs someone in his life. Jane snaps, "Make it someone else!" and slams the phone down...and Sydney, who's been listening in on the other line, grins in devilish delight. Reed is looking extra nefarious as he installs a lock on the trap door of a hidden cargo hold area in the boat's living room. An oblivious Jo arrives with a picnic basket, apologizes for her bitchitude earlier, and explains that she's had a long and pathetic history of hooking up with shady men. She somehow deems him "a wonderful relief", then kisses him and tells him she's sooooo glad they re-connected during the reunion episode, and that she doesn't want to waste anymore time not leaping head-first in a romantic entanglement with a sketchy loser who just got out of prison. She leans in for a smooch, and he gives her an intense smooch in return.
Matt arrives at Jeffrey's apartment, and quickly gets miffed when the phone rings after Jeffrey told him he hadn't gotten it hooked up yet. When Matt demands to know why he's avoiding answering any questions about his life, Jeffrey walks over to his closet, pulls out his military garb, and explains that he's a lieutenant in the U.S. Navy...and that he's keeping mum about being gay as per the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. He tells Matt he can't risk telling his boss or his gay-unfriendly father the truth and face the cost of losing his job and/or family. Reed wakes when he hears a noise aboard the boat, so he grabs his rifle and goes above deck to check it out...and is relieved when the culprit ends up being a stray cat. Inside the courthouse, Jane sits in the spectators' section while a contrite Sydney stands in front of the judge and explains exactly how she went the ho and coke route, but then quickly decided it was a grotesque lifestyle she wanted to get out of pronto. She fibs that Kristian Alfonso was furious with her for wanting to quit, then testifies about how the undercover cop lured her to a hotel for a lucrative sexual transaction, and that she feared for her safety if she didn't do as he said. The judge calls the ridiculous sting operation clear evidence of entrapment and dismisses all charges - but warns Sydney she won't have a second chance to get off scot-free. Sydney vehemently promises to not fall back into hooking and drugging, and then she and Jane hug at the happy outcome. Nancy Donner announces that Billy won the editing competition, which means he's the magazine's newest junior editor...and that he's urgently needed to start his new job that's located in - surprise! - New York City. Billy stares back at her in stunned bewilderment and pretends that moving across the country with zero notice is absolutely no problem...instead of pointing out that it would've been fucking nice if she'd mentioned that salient detail about the position prior to roping him into a competition for it. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French 
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