Recap: The teachers remind the Fame kids that Friendship Day is fast approaching, then explain (for the viewers' benefit) that it's the one day of the year when the students are encouraged to come to school dressed up as a famous friend or as someone they'd like to be friends with (kind of like Halloween without the ghouls). It's intended to be a day of fun, spirit, and camaraderie...and later in the evening there will be a Sadie Hawkins type Friendship Dance. During the committee meeting, which Doris chairs, Bruno is playing a bland, low energy piece of music he intends to play during the Friendship Dance. Doris nods approvingly and tells him it has just the right amount of pizazz (seriously?)...but that she has a few suggestions to get rid of the glitches. She then barks at the other committee members to carry out the tasks they've been assigned in a quick and efficient manner so she won't feel compelled to follow them around and continually admonish them for being lazy asses. It really is a miracle that she has a single friend at this school. Mama Miller (Julie's mom) and Papa Martelli are checking in with Mrs. Berg to get their parental assignments for the Friendship Dance. Mrs. Berg tells Mrs. Miller she'll be in charge of security, then tells Papa Martelli he'll be taking care of refreshments. Papa Martelli grumbles that refreshments are women's work and that he'd much rather be in charge of security, but Mama Miller says she's sick of making cookies and punch and welcomes the chance to do something different. Mr. Reardon tells Miss Sherwood he's been trying his hand at writing poetry and would love it if she looked over his work and offered her honest opinion. She agrees, takes his notebook, and heads off to class. Bruno and Julie debrief after the committee meeting and discuss Doris' annoying, desperate need to always be liked by everyone all the time...which makes the bitchitude she just displayed toward committee members all the more puzzling. Julie suggests they do something special for the nitwit as a show of their appreciation for her being the chief planner of Friendship Day, and Bruno half-heartedly nods and says it's probably a good idea. During the next committee meeting (held in the cafeteria), Leroy is giving Danny gyrating lessons so he'll become a sexy hot dancer and inspire Michelle to invite him to take her to the Friendship Dance. Doris bustles into the room and barks at everyone to get their work done, like pronto, then turns her rabid attention onto Michael and snarls that just 'cause they're going to the dance together, it doesn't give him license to slack off. Michael haughtily tells her he just finished putting up all the decorations and therefore did complete his assigned task - but Doris goes postal when she realizes that he put up the posters before she got a chance to approve them. Michael gets fed up with her micromanaging assholery and rescinds his agreement to be her date for the dance - which, d'yuh...but I can't even fathom why he would have agreed to that unique form of torture in the first place. Mama Miller is in her apartment, doing aerobics (braless, I might add), in front of the television. Yikes. When Bruno phones, Julie takes the phone into another room and breathlessly spouts a bunch of easy-to-misunderstand phrases: "I want it to be perfect!" "No - I've never done anything quite like this before." "Of course I trust you." "Does your dad suspect anything?" "It's starting to look very exciting!" Mama Miller, who's shamefully eavesdropping on the call, assumes that the two are planning a sexual rendezvous and gasps in horror. When Julie wraps up the call, Mama Miller hastily gets back to her braless workout and pretends as though she didn't just violate her daughter's privacy. Mama Miller gets together for lunch with Papa Martelli to report that she overheard a conversation between their kids that she strongly suspects was sexual in nature. Papa Martelli blurts out, "Sexual?!", then chuckles and says it's prolly not a big deal if their middle-aged kids have sex. When Mama Miller glares at him, clearly not amused by his permissive attitude, he promises to talk to Bruno about the birds and the bees and will do his best to find out what's going on. Doris interrupts music class to order Mr. Shorofsky to take Dwight off performance probation 'cause she needs him in attendance at the Friendship Day dance. She nonsensically explains that Dwight won't go anywhere without his sousaphone - including a dance, apparently - and I'm guessing that it's a violation of performance probation to walk around school carrying a sousaphone. Well...OK, but there's also a rule against students auditioning for shows, but since no faculty member has ever enforced it, I really can't see anyone clamping down on such minor performance probation violations. Mr. Shorofsky stares at her with a mixture of bewilderment, pity, and amusement and asks her if it's really so all-important for her to have a date for the dance, and she hangs her head shamefully and squeaks, "Yes." Bruno is in the basement, playing on his synthesizer when Papa Martelli asks him about his day, and if he has anything sex-related to report. Bruno just shrugs and says that the only remotely interesting thing going on in his life is that he's currently trying to convince a stubborn girl to make a life change. Papa Martelli's like, "Ack!" and reminds him about the importance of having a parent who's a good listener, and says that the two of them should be able to talk about anything...but Bruno's too engrossed in his shittastic music to pay any attention to his father's gabbling. Mama Miller is trying to have a similar discussion with Julie, but - like Bruno - Julie's too engrossed in whatever thing she's working on to pay close attention. Mama Miller calls Papa Martelli to ask him if he learned anything, and he says he's been reading between the lines and has concluded that it's definitely possible that Bruno and Julie are headed for the sack. Miss Sherwood tells Mr. Reardon that she read his poems, and that her professional opinion is that his poetry writing abilities suck huge rhinoceros dick. Mr. Reardon's all, "Wha-a?!" and angrily says it took him a long time to work up the courage to ask her to critique his writing...then storms out of the teachers' lounge. Bruno is playing on the synthesizer in one of the music rooms and bobbing his head to the beat as he starts singing...and I have no idea why we're being subjected to this superfluous one-man show. Just as he's wrapping it up, Julie enters the room and tells him they should do something to cheer Doris up, e.g. get her a small present or a gift certificate for Ray's Pizza. Bruno nixes the last thing on account of Doris' habit of porking out whenever she's stressed out, and thinks it would be better to get her something "official". Ms. Grant is leading her "body movement" class, reminding the students that since this is an elective for non-dance majors, not much is expected of them. For some disturbing, incomprehensible reason, Dwight has decked himself out in a skin tight grey body suit with matching leggings - a grisly ensemble that embarrassingly showcases his body's jiggly parts. Ms. Grant barks at him to loosen up his limbs while he walks, then leads the class in a brisk stroll around the dance gym. Danny asks Smokey (some random extra) to put in a good word for him with Michelle so she'll ask him to the dance, then gets more gyrating lessons from Leroy. A few seconds later Michelle walks by, but she just scowls in Danny's direction and does not look impressed by his dance moves. Mama Miller is teaching Papa Martelli how to make cookies so he can provide homemade treats for the Friendship Dance. Considering how clearly inept he is at baking, I don't know why he doesn't just go to the nearest supermarket and buy a bag of Oreos. Miss Sherwood finds Doris moping in the theater. She tells the nitwit she should probably praise her committee underlings once in awhile so they feel valued and appreciated...and Doris wails, "They hate me!" but Miss Sherwood retorts, "No. They're mad at you." Doris asks her what she should do 'bout that, and Miss Sherwood says, "You probably already know" [mmm, no...I really don't think she does, Miss Sherwood] and Doris pretends to mull that over and scampers out of the room in her weird, flail-y way. Friendship Dance! Doris despondently watches a group of Fame kids talking animatedly and assumes they're talking shit about her, which they probably are and would have every reason to. I'm pretty sure I'd be regularly doing that if I attended the School of the Arts. So suck on it, Doris. Dwight arrives at the dance dressed as an angel with wings...which is a weird choice, considering that the mandate of Friendship Day was to dress up as a famous friend or someone you wanted to be friends with. Not sure how an angel costume fits into this theme unless he's a friendly admirer of Gabriel. Miss Sherwood tells Ms. Grant that Mr. Reardon is still verrrrry pissed off at her for mocking his craptastic poetry. She tells her she could have been a lot more diplomatic, and Miss Sherwood mulls that over and agrees that she has some serious fence-mending to do. The Fame kids have gathered in the cafeteria, and they're jigging and gyrating to the beat. Julie is wearing a Greek get-up, while Bruno didn't bother going through the trouble of putting on a costume 'cause he's far too world weary and over it. Miss Sherwood tells Mr. Reardon that she didn't expect him to take her criticism of his poetry so badly, and he sullenly says he really put himself on the line when he wrote his schlock and then asked her to critique it. He asks if he could read her poetry...and when she's all, "Wha-a?!" he insists that since he showed her his, she should show him hers. Mrs. Berg, who's eavesdropping at the door, gasps when she assumes that something sexual is going on. Oh how I wish. At the very least, it would break up the monotony of all these Three's Company-esque misunderstandings. Mama Miller asks Papa Martelli to dance, and he agrees and the two awkwardly amble over to the dance floor. Bruno and Julie watch them in fascination and compare notes about how their parents have been trying very hard to have serious talks with them all week, and now wonder if they were trying to tell them about their disturbing new love match. Or something like that. I kind of zoned out during this scene. Doris arrives at the dance dressed up as an angel, which I assume is supposed to match Dwight's nonsensical costume. Mama Miller comes right out and asks Julie what she and Bruno have planned for later, and Julie chirps, "It's a surprise!" Suddenly, there's cheering and applause, and Julie finally reveals the big secret she's been carefully guarding all week: she and Bruno are handing out thank-you plaques for the planners of Friendship Day. Get the fuck out of here, writers. Considering Julie's/Bruno's earlier phone conversation... "I want it to be perfect!" "No - I've never done anything quite like this before." "Of course I trust you." "Does your dad suspect anything?" "It's starting to look very exciting!" ...that's, at best, a ridiculously lame-ass explanation. Bruno and Julie go onstage and begin the thanking. Papa Martelli gets a plaque, which he hugs proudly - LOL - and then Danny gets in the game and announces, "And for the kid who put all this together..." and just as Doris is dejectedly ambling off, he exclaims, "Doris Schwartz!" Doris does a quick u-turn, accepts her plaque gratefully, and breaks into song about happy she is that not everyone hates her anymore [deep down I'm sure they all still do], and how this award is so much better than a gift certificate to Ray's Pizza (not). Everyone then joins in and starts dancing along to the beat...including Mrs. Berg and Mr. Shorofsky. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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