Recap: At the counter of a pharmacy, Matt makes a lame attempt to get Lauren's prescription of clozapine refilled. Lauren whispers to Matt that the pharmacist is going to see the no refills message on the bottle - and sure enough he comes back to the counter and points this out. Matt tells him he had called earlier to explain that Lauren's doctor is out of town, so the pharmacist offers to call his service - and Matt loses his composure and barks, "No! We need the pills now!" The pharmacist says there's nothing he can do, so then Matt swipes a full bottle of clozapine that, for some reason, was sitting on the counter...but a few seconds later, he and Lauren are stopped by a security guard before they can exit the store. Smooth, Matt.
After Dark. David tells Donna that the two of them being together feels right to him, but Donna's like, "Me not so much" and says she regrets all the shady stuff they've being doing lately to get closer to each other...and that the only reason it's been happening is 'cause they're both going through a rough patch. When he asks her out again, she grudgingly admits that part of her really wants to get back together with him. She then glances out the booth window and notices Noah glaring over at them, so she slips out of the booth and tries to make a break for it. Noah blocks her escape and offers to buy her a drink, but she declines and tells him she's not yet ready to talk about their rollercoaster of a stupid relationship. He asks her if their breakup is because of someone else, then snarks about how cozy she and David looked in the booth just now...so then she snarks back that he and Gina looked cozy in the photo booth photos. Noah insists for the hundredth fuuuuuuucking time that nothing happened with Gina - but Donna sanctimoniously argues that what happened is he lost her trust. She then flounces off, leaving Noah to stare after her dejectedly and then glare over at the DJ booth to shoot David the stink-eye.
Matt tells Kelly about his lame attempt to steal clozapine from the pharmacy, and she tells him she knew of patients at the Wyatt Clinic who would get their contraband drugs from Mexico and smuggle them into the United States. Matt mulls over this idea, but quickly realizes he can't take Lauren to Mexico with him, and nor can he leave her alone at Casa Walsh 'cause her schizophrenia is starting to creep back in. He thanks Kelly for the drug/Mexico information...and she stares contemplatively into space for a few seconds and murmurs, "Maybe there's something I can do."
Beach house. Gina gabbles at Donna about her dream to open her own gym, and that she's going to use the figure skating dough that's collected in her trust fund as collateral. She snidely remarks, "It's not much by Beverly Hills standards, but I did OK for trash" and Donna immediately looks red-faced and apologizes for calling her trash at the end of the previous episode and explains that she was just angry about the Noah thing. Gina insists that nothing happened between her and Noah - but, of course, neglects to confess her relentless manipulation of Noah into thinking he doinked her during his drunken haze. Gina's white trash mom, Bobbi, drops by for a visit and gushes about how awesome the beach house is. Gina asks her if she brought the information about her trust, and Bobbi's like, "Oops, I forgot" and an annoyed Gina reminds her how important this is to her. When Donna learns the name of the bank where the trust is being held, she tells Gina that her dad does some of his banking there, and that she'd be happy to take her there later and hold her hand while she explores her loan options.
Janet has brought Steve along to have lunch with her parents. Papa Sosna scrunches his face with disdain when he learns how sleazy a tabloid the Beat is...and Steve doesn't help matters when he describes their process of targeting a celebrity, which includes sifting through their trash and publishing whatever sensationalized tidbits they happen to find. Janet lets out a weak laugh and tells her father that Steve is just kidding, then shoots Steve a death glare in the faint hope that he'll get a clue and shut his pie hole. An oblivious Steve gushes about what a great reporter Janet is, and is about to gabble about them being boyfriend and girlfriend when Janet cuts him off and tells her father that Steve is a great boss and nothing more. LOL. Papa Sosna says he doesn't care for the type of content that gets published in the Beat and insists that people deserve their privacy - but Mama Sosna disagrees and says some people hide way too much. Interesting. I wonder whaddup with the disharmony there.
The Peach Pit. Gina reminds Donna about taking her to the bank to see about her trust, but Donna's barely listening 'cause she's staring over at David, who's chatting with a pretty brunette. Donna soon learns that the woman's name is Deborah Fowler and that she's a sex therapist who's considering doing a radio show with David. After she exits the diner, Donna tells David she's changed her mind about them going out and would like to after all. After she scampers off to the boutique, David blabs to Gina about how he and Donna went out on Valentine's Day and ended up having a sexy smoochfest...and I'm pretty sure he's telling this to the biggest blabbermouth in Beverly Hills so that the news will quickly reach Noah.
The Beverly Beat. Janet tells Steve she probably should have gone to lunch with her parents alone. Well duh. Steve asks her if she's ashamed of him, and she explains that her father is very "traditional" and doesn't approve of her dating non-Japanese boneheads.
Bank. The banker informs Gina that her trust has 14K in it, and Gina's all, "Wha-a?!" and says there's supposed to be around 75K in the account. The banker snippily retorts, "That's all there is" which seemed pretty bitchy and unhelpful for a bank employee.
Casa David. Kelly implores Dylan to go to Mexico on her "mission of mercy" to clandestinely obtain clozapine pills for Lauren. She says they'd make a good team 'cause she has the contacts to score the meds, while he has the money to pay for them. Dylan easily agrees to the favor and says that hopefully they can also indulge in some sack time, I mean have a fun time while they're south of the border. A few seconds later, Gina unexpectedly drops by to invite Dylan to dinner...but when she sees that Kelly's over and learns that the two have plans to go to Mexico to buy drugs for Lauren, she snarls at Dylan that she just lost her appetite and storms off.
The Walsh house. It's the middle of the night, and Lauren is blaring music on the stereo in the living room - which sends Matt, Noah, and Steve rushing downstairs to see whassup. Lauren cries that she couldn't find her headphones to drown out the voices...and Steve scrunches his face in confusion and is all, "Huh? Voices?" An equally confused Noah hands a pair of headphones to Matt, who puts them on Lauren's head and coos at her that everything's going to be OK. He then explains to his bewildered roommates that Lauren is schizophrenic - and that she sometimes hears voices, which eventually become nefarious commands.
Mexico. Kelly is having trouble get a hold of her drug contact, and abruptly changes her mind about the mission of mercy she instigated less than a day ago and tells Dylan it's probably not such a great idea. That seems oddly fickle of her, considering Lauren's dire state. Dylan just shrugs and says it's always a good idea to spend the day in Mexico...then somehow the conversation shifts to Toni. Dylan gets a faraway look on his face and says he'd love the chance to see her again and say all the things he never got a chance to say, like, "What the hell were we thinking, getting married after knowing each other for less than two months??"
Beach house. Bobbi tells Gina she dipped into her trust fund 'cause she had to pay for coaches and other skating related expenses - but Gina waves her bank statements in the air and points out that some of the cash was spent on remodelling the master bathroom, and buying a new car and various home appliances. Bobbi whines about giving up her life for her, and Gina accuses her of robbing her of her childhood and - literally - robbing her as an adult. She narrows her eyes and vows to get her money back somehow.
Janet and Steve are stealing bags of a celebrity's trash and talking about her strict father. Steve calls him a bigot, but Janet says he's not so much a bigot as someone who feels strongly about preserving his Japanese heritage. She then informs him that he's arranged for her to meet a Japanese man he has vetted and approves of, and that they're all having dinner tonight.
Noah drops by the mall with flowers, but Donna refuses to accept them and flounces into the boutique. As soon as she's out of earshot, Gina blabs to Noah that Donna was dating David before the two of them were officially broken up...and that this dating included smooching. An angry Noah storms into the boutique and tells Donna they need to forgive each other, but she reminds him of what a sweetly doe-eyed lass she is and could never have anything to apologize for ever...and that whatever she's been doing with David doesn't excuse what he did. Noah says they broke each other's trust, snaps, "Hypocrite!" and stomps off. Break up already, you idiots.
Steve shows up unannounced at the Sosna residence to size up his competition. Janet's all, "What are you doing here?", then points out Bob, who's Japanese, high on the hotness scale, and loaded financially. She then assures Steve she's just humoring her father by hanging with Bob for the evening...but then tells him he should go, and he stares back at her with a hurt expression.
Mexico. Dylan drops by Kelly's hotel room with a bag of toiletries. She tells Dylan she really doesn't think she can go through with smuggling drugs into the U.S. Dylan urges her to sleep on it, then says he'll be across the hall if she needs anything. He slouches over to the door, but then turns around and leans in for a smooch...and Kelly remarks on how different things feel on this trip than they did the last time they came to Mexico together. The two then decide 'ah what the hell' and throw all caution to the wind and start kissing, then collapse atop her bed and earnestly get it on.
Noah barrels into Casa David and bellows, "I can't believe you!" at David, then admonishes him for pretending to be his friend while going after Donna. David weakly denies doing any such thing, but then quickly clams up. Noah snaps, "I thought we were friends!" then storms out as quickly as he burst in. Weird.
Mexico. The next morning, Kelly pokes Dylan awake and tells him she really really wants to go home now, and says that coming to Mexico was wrong. She whines about how shitty she feels for cheating on Matt, but Dylan points out that Matt's a married man - plus he thought that last night's doink was fantastic. Kelly concedes that it was, but asks, "What about Gina?" so Dylan jokingly promises to repent once the two of them have indulged in a morning romp. Kelly declines and insists on leaving now, and tells him she'll meet him downstairs in the lobby.
The Beverly Beat. Steve is wearing a pair of rubber gloves as he sifts through the celebrity's trash. He and Janet bicker again about her father's dislike for him...with no hint of self-reflection while he's sifting through trash bags. A few seconds later, Papa Sosna drops by the newsroom, glances in Steve's direction with disdain, and tells Janet he really really liked the cut of Bob's jib. Janet agrees that Bob is great, but that she's not looking for a boyfriend 'cause she already has one. She then motions over at Steve, and her father stares back at her in horror.
U.S./Mexico border. Kelly tells the border agent she has nothing to declare...and when she gets rattled by his many questions, Dylan starts nattering at the agent about how the two of them just doinked after many years of being apart, and were pleased to discover that they still really dig each other. The border agent rolls his eyes with distaste at the TMI and urges Kelly to move her car along. Kelly glares at Dylan and asks him what that was all about, so he tells her he started chatting nonsense 'cause he feared the agent was about to search their car and didn't want him to find any drugs. He then smiles devilishly as he pulls a bottle of clozapine out of his pocket. Apparently, he took the initiative and arranged a "meet and greet" with one of his drug connections, but didn't tell her 'cause he knew she wouldn't approve.
Restaurant. David and Donna are out for dinner. She tells him about Gina's money woes and that she's planning on suing the trustee who was responsible for the trust. She then starts moaning about how bad she feels about hurting Noah and totally gets why he's upset with her...blah blah, I don't care.
The Walsh house. Kelly and Dylan drop by to deliver the bottle of clozapine pills. Lauren clutches the bottle gratefully and says they'll give her more time to enjoy with Matt. As her organs slowly shut down.
The next morning, Steve tells Janet he's proud of her for standing up to her father yesterday, and she glumly says she's going to have to go home for a change of clothes and knows her father is going to be waiting so he can admonish her for her objectionable taste in men. Steve starts nattering nonsensically and natters the words, "I love you" and Janet perks up and is all, "You do?!" and Steve's like, "Well d'yuh" and assures her that somehow everything is going to work out A-OK. Run, Janet! You can do better!
Beach house. Kelly apologizes to Gina for asking Dylan to accompany her to Mexico, but that it's all good 'cause they fulfilled their mission of mercy and got Lauren her meds. Gina snappishly accuses her of wanting to "kill the competition" - just as Dylan slouches onto the patio. Gina stomps past him and says she has to get to work...and once she's out of earshot, Dylan tells Kelly he has absolutely no intention of telling his bitchy quasi-girlfriend about them hitting the sheets in Mexico. Kelly says she has no intention of telling Matt either.
The Walsh house. Lauren enthusiastically greets Matt when he returns home from work and tells him it's nice to have things to look forward to, 'cause they make life worth living. She then tosses her bottle of clozapine into the nearest trash can...and Matt's all, "Wha-a?" and asks her if this is really what she wants. She tells him she's not sure, but that since her sad story arc is about done here, it's what she's going to do. Matt promises to support her decision and says he'll happily move back to New York so they can face her schizophrenia together. Lauren perks up and goes, "Really..?" and when he says yes, she gives him a happy hug.
The Peach Pit. David runs into Donna and tells her that their dinner date last night was nice...and she agrees, but says she still has stuff she wants to work out with Noah. Across the diner, Janet tells Steve that her dad asked her to move out 'cause he can't support her decision to hook up with a bonehead like Steve. Plus, he's not Japanese.
Donna runs into Noah in the Peach Pit parking lot and admits that, yeah, she's a total hypocrite. She confesses that she and David kissed at the station manager's party after being egged on by a photographer...and when Noah asks her if it was a meaningless kiss, she says no - but that she has no idea what this means for their tedious on again/off again relationship. Fuuuuuuuuuck.
Kelly rushes over to Casa Walsh after being summoned by Lauren. Lauren thanks her for going through the trouble of smuggling clozapine into the country, but has decided not to take any of the pills. She knows it means she'll get sick again, but is optimistic for a cure for her disease and would prefer to stick around in case it happens. She asks Kelly to take care of Matt and make him happy, then adds how obvious it is that he loves her. Kelly half-heartedly tries to get her to change her mind about giving up on her marriage, but Lauren insists that she do this "favor" for her - just as Matt arrives home and asks whassup. Lauren tells him she's decided to return to New York alone, and is giving him her blessing to move on with his life. Matt weakly offers to move with her to New York and continue in their marriage, but she firmly declines and orders him to promise that he'll pursue a happy life with Kelly. A promise he breaks, since eventually he and Kelly break up anyway.
Beach house. Donna arrives home, where Gina is in the kitchen making herself a sandwich. She tells Donna that her mom is in her bedroom and wishes to make an announcement regarding the name of the trustee who's responsible for the looting of her trust fund. She asks Donna to stand next to her when the name is blurted out for maximum dramatic effect, and Donna's like, "Sure thing", so the two head over to Gina's bedroom, where Bobbi has just finished up a phone conversation. Gina's like, "OK, mom. We're ready", but Bobbie seems reluctant to name this person. Donna urges her to speak out and not protect this scoundrel, so Bobbi tells her that the guilty party is ... Felice! Donna scrunches her big face in confusion and is all, "Wha-a-a-a??!" and then she and Gina stare at each other in complete befuddlement.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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