Recap: Valerie runs into Clare on campus, and the two grumble and whine about having to take their finals...and then Valerie grumbles and whines about having to "watch Brandon and Kelly play kissy face" at Casa Walsh. Maybe this is a sign she should get her own place...and use her 100K for a down payment on a home instead of handing it over to Howdy Doody to "invest". But I digress. Clare says that Kelly might not be too into playing kissy face, 'cause her deadbeat dad's in town and they're getting together for dinner tonight. Valerie visibly perks up, then tries hard to look nonchalant as she asks, "The famous Bill Taylor is here?" and says she heard all about him from Colin - namely that his sudden, unannounced departure from L.A. during the Fade In, Fade Out episode prompted Kelly to descend into the world of coke snorting...'cause, yeah, that was a totally reasonable reaction to him leaving town earlier than expected.
Beach house. As soon as Brandon arrives, Kelly gleefully tells him she got her period, which means she's not pregnant after all! Brandon admits that part of him is a little sad, but she insists it's a very good thing. She then informs him that her dad is in town overnight and that they have plans to go out to dinner. She chirps, "Nothing is going to ruin my great day!" which is a clear set-up for a very bad thing to come along and ruin her great day.
On campus, Brandon and David are teasing Steve about what job he'll be getting after graduation: drive-through employee or fry guy? (I don't think he has the work ethic to do either.) Steve ribs Brandon for winning The Outstanding Student Award and says he'll be hosting a roast for him later...but before that he's meeting with Rush to discuss his future. He excitedly says he can sum up the meeting in two words: junior partner (even though cut off ends up being a lot more accurate).
Clare arrives at her dad's office, and his secretary tells her that he's running late, then remarks, "I wish I were going to Paris!" Clare's all, "Wuh?" so the secretary explains that she's referring to the chancellor's plans to leave CU and teach at the Sorbonne. She gushes, "It sounds so romantic." Nice of the chancellor to inform his daughter of his travel plans.
Library. David is helping Donna do some last minute studying and concludes that she's over-prepared. He starts nattering about how happy he is about buying Valerie's share of the After Dark, then mentions that the lease on his house will soon be up. When Donna doesn't take the bait, he pokes at her and says, "I'm trying to ask you something" then proposes they move in together. Donna scrunches her big face in exasperation and snaps, "I can't believe you would drop this on me an hour before a major exam!" and David stares at her in bewilderment then angrily says, "Fine. Bad timing. Sorry I asked" and stalks out.
Valerie drops by to see Derek at an office that has Bill Taylor written across the door. She mentions that she heard Bill Taylor's in town, and Derek goes, "He is?" then swiftly covers for his shocked reaction and says, "Uh...yeah. He is." He tells her that Bill is in the process of getting them some permanent L.A. office space, then tells Valerie he can arrange for her to have dinner with him tonight. He hands her some papers related to her investment, and she promises to bring him her money later today. Derek looks peeved and says, "You didn't bring a check?" so Valerie explains that the bank won't release the funds until later in the day. She asks him if that's a problem, and he says no - but that Bill doesn't like to talk about business related stuff while he's eating dinner. LOL. Valerie ignores that weird, red flag and tells Derek she'll meet him this afternoon and hand over her life savings.
The Peach Pit. Rush and Steve are having their meeting...and Rush asks Steve for a favor: find out if he's in the running for The Condor Crest (some big alumni award). Steve looks disappointed and says he thought they were going to talk about his future, so Rush says, "We can talk about that right now" and hands him his graduation present: biographies of Bill Gates and Lee Iacocca. Bwahaha! Steve stares at him incredulously and goes, "Books?" and Rush pretends to be oblivious to Steve's utter dismay and waxes on about how this is an incredibly exciting time for him. He says, "You're going out into the world without a safety net" and somehow believes that a couple of books about self-made men will inspire his boneheaded son to do great things. LOL.
Donna arrives late for her exam, twitching nervously. She frantically looks over her notes while Professor Langely hands out the exam and gleefully reminds the students that it will count for 75% of their grade. Yikes. Talk about a lazy way for a professor to evaluate students. Donna slips into a catatonic state as she stares blankly at the exam's cover page...and when Langely snaps at her to begin, she springs up from her desk, whimpers, "I'm sorry.." then rushes out of the classroom. What a nitwit.
Hospital. Kelly is getting a checkup with her gynecologist to make sure that all systems are go. She's shocked when the doctor informs her that she ran a pregnancy test during her earlier appointment and that it came out positive. Kelly stares back at her in confusion and goes, "But I got my period" so the doctor explains that is was a miscarriage, not menstruation...plus, her ultrasound showed abnormalities on her ovaries and Fallopian tubes. The doctor says she may have fertility problems and could have grave difficulty bearing children...but she's going to have to run a bunch of other tests to find out for sure. Kelly's all, "Wha-a?!" and scrunches her face in distress.
California University. A depressed Steve is spiking his punch and boo-hooing to Clare about how he's a self made man 'cause his dad just cut him off. Clare's like, "Yeah whatever" and says that her dad just dropped a bombshell of his own: he's moving to Paris and asked her to go with him. Steve asks her if she's going, and she says she hasn't decided, but is nervous about her hapless dad being alone in Paris. Steve puts his sad face on and asks, "What about me being alone here?" and grumbles about how she's always choosing her dad over him. Across the courtyard, Donna rushes over to David and tells him she walked out on her exam 'cause she totally froze. She wails, "What's wrong with meeee?!" so David takes the question at face value and suggests that maybe she did it on purpose - and that by not graduating, she doesn't have to face moving on with her life...or with him. Very astute, Davey.
Restaurant. Derek tells Valerie that the two of them are definitely on for dinner; however, Bill can't make it 'cause he has other plans. Valerie looks miffed and says she's not about to invest money in Bill Taylor's company without first meeting Bill Taylor, so Derek explains that he's the "man behind the man" who's going to be taking care of her money [and by taking care of her money, he means absconding with it as quickly as he can extract it from her]. Valerie admits that she and Kelly aren't actually friends, so he shoots her a look of puzzlement and asks her why she'd want to invest with her dad. She says, "To drive Kelly nuts" and Derek grins at her and retorts, "And I thought I was ambitious." Not sure how this level of childish stupidity could ever be considered ambitious. Derek says he never told Bill that she and Kelly were friends 'cause he wanted him to take her seriously...and she says she appreciates that, then pulls out her 100K check and hands it over. NOOOOO!!!
California University. A despondent looking Steve is emceeing Brandon's roast. He rattles off a list of Brandon's impressive achievements and bitterly calls him "disgustingly perfect" ... then goes off the rails and yammers about how Brandon chose the perfect best friend in him, 'cause he (Brandon) looks good next to his (Steve's) fucked-upedness. He soberly says, "I made you what you are, Brandon" and jokes about wanting him to promise to raise the minimum wage when he becomes a senator, 'cause he (Steve) will probably need it when he's eventually forced to take a job at McDonald's. Brandon takes the mic and calls Steve's remarksdepressing. He says he wants to nip the Save Steve Sanders movement in the bud, then ribs him about his lazy life of privilege and all the brand new Corvettes that Rush has bought for him over the years. After the roast, Brandon apologizes to Steve for being hard on him, and Steve wails, "This was supposed to be a roast for you - not me!" Brandon chides him for feeling sorry for himself and stalks off...so then Steve chases after him, but trips and falls into a fountain. Haha! As everyone points and laughs at his clumsiness, Brandon holds out his hand to help him up, but Steve stubbornly refuses...and when Clare comes over and offers to help him up, he sullenly snaps, "I don't need any help."
Kelly and Brandon meet up in a park. She tells him she went to the doctor to get a prescription for the pill so they never have to "sweat it out" again. I don't get why she wouldn't have been on the pill in the first place. She then drops the bomb that she actually was pregnant, and what she thought was her period was a miscarriage. She then tells him to go away 'cause she wants to be alone to morosely ponder her lost baby. Brandon reminds her what she said about now being a bad time to have a baby, then says he's looking forward to the family they will have someday. She stares back at him sadly and says, "We won't have a family" and tells him that her gynecological problems will probably make it difficult for her to have children...and Brandon stares contemplatively into space as he silently mulls that over.
Donna arrives at Professor Langely's office and tells her she wants another chance to take the exam. Langely dismissively replies, "You missed your chance this morning", so Donna whines about how she needs to pass this class in order to graduate. She pleads, "You have to give me another chance! I can pass the test!" and an unimpressed Langely says, "Then why didn't you?" Instead of answering, Donna just stares at her mutely while the scene fades to black.
Bill Taylor calls Valerie and thanks her for the large bouquet of flowers she had delivered to his hotel room...then says he has no idea what he did to deserve them. Valerie explains that she's an investor and would like to meet with him, then mentions that she and Kelly are good friends. Not sure why she'd blurt that out, considering how relieved she was earlier when Derek told her he'd kept quiet about that detail. Bill says he's having dinner with Kelly at his hotel and suggests she come a half hour before that so they can sort out their bidness, and Valerie happily chirps, "I'll be there!"
Beach house. Brandon drops by while Kelly is primping for dinner with her dad. She seems distant and mopey so he asks her whassup, and she laments about what a major bummer it is that she has endometriosis...and how there was something alive in her yesterday that's dead today. Brandon clucks sympathetically and assures her that her fertility issues don't change anything between them, but Kelly remains skeptical. She asks how he can be happy with someone who can't give him children, and he says, "Because I love you" and hugs her.
Donna arrives at David's house and tells him she asked Professor Langely if she could retake the test...and surprisingly she said yes, so Donna is slated to take it at 9am the next morning. She then admits to David that she walked out on the exam because she was scared of moving on with him...and with her life in general. David, however, says that their relationship is the one thing about graduating college that doesn't make him want to pee his pants.
Hotel. Bill Taylor tells Valerie he's impressed with her ability to run a business and attend university...and Valerie acts all gushy and star-struck (which was weird) and says that Derek speaks very highly of him. Bill pales and goes, "Derek Driscoll? How do you know him?" just as Kelly arrives. She shoots Valerie a surprised stink-eye, so Valerie's like, "Hey Kelly! Your dad is my financial adviser!" Bill explains that they were just having a brief meeting, and when Kelly continues to glare, Valerie sheepishly says, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Bill urges Kelly to sit down and join them for dinner, but Kelly snorts derisively and storms out. Bill hastily excuses himself and tells Valerie they'll talk tomorrow, and Valerie smirkingly stares after them.
The Walsh house. Rush drops by to excitedly announce to Steve that he's being awarded The Condor Crest! That's nice. Nobody cares, Rush. Steve grumbles at him for cutting him off and taking away his security, so Rush explains that getting his tuition paid every year since Season 4 has been his security. Steve growls, "Thanks for nothing" and Rush assures him he'll be just fine, now that he has a degree from CU. I dunno 'bout that. He probably got one of those useless, generic degrees that means nothing without an additional graduate degree. Rush breezily says he has to run 'cause they're breaking in a new junior partner at the firm. Ouch.
Steve ambles down to the kitchen and snarks at Brandon for letting Rush into the house. He whines about how he (Brandon) has everything, but Brandon explains that since his parents didn't have the resources to spoil him rotten throughout his entire childhood, he's never had any margin for error...financially speaking. He does, however, rely on his friends for emotional support, and assures Steve that they'll be besties even after they graduate from CU. Steve is like, "We will?" and suddenly looks a lot cheerier.
Donna is taking an oral exam. Langely tries to trip her up by asking for three responses on something that has only two...then explains to Donna that she wanted to see how she'd handle uncertainty. Er, OK.. She says she's tough on all her students, but that she's been especially cunty to Donna 'cause she thinks she's very talented and has what it takes to launch a career in fashion. Seems like a stupid approach.
The Walsh house. Clare drops by to tell Steve she's decided not to move to Paris with her father...and by not move to Paris with her father, she means she's definitely moving to Paris with her father and will dump him during the season finale. Steve's all, "Yippee!" and Clare says she's touched that he cares so much about her staying in L.A. and wants to figure out what their future together would look like. I would say grim.
Professor Langely tells Donna she did great on the exam, and that she just needs to believe in herself more. Donna hugs her and tearfully squeaks, "I'll never forget you." Langely wryly replies, "They all say that. You will."
Beach house. Brandon comes over and finds Kelly moping on the patio. She tells him that Valerie was at the hotel restaurant, having dinner with her father...and Brandon scrunches his face in puzzlement and is all, "Wuh? Really?" Kelly says she doesn't care how that came to be, and can't decide who she hates more: her dad or Valerie. (My bet would be Valerie.) She then thanks Brandon for sticking with her through the hard times, and the two hug it out.
Hotel. Valerie has a follow-up meeting with Bill Taylor and admits that she may have overstated her friendship with Kelly - but only 'cause she wanted to invest with him so badly. Bill's like, "Yeah, whatever" and asks her to tell him about her dealings with Derek. He says that Derek hasn't worked for him in over three months...and as Valerie visibly pales, Bill explains that he caught him embezzling money from clients, and describes him as "a crook who disappears with peoples' money". Valerie says she met him at his L.A. office, but Bill says he doesn't have an L.A. office. Valerie stares back at him in horror and wails, "I gave him $100,000! It's all the money I have!" and Bill's like, "Sucks to be you" and that there's not a whole heckuva lot he can do for her.