Recap: Brandon, Steve, and Dick are in the Alumni Gym, practicing for the upcoming three-on-three basketball tournament they've entered themselves in...and Tracy's in the bleachers, doing her homework and basking in the glow of being Brandon's official girlfriend. When Steve and Dick amble off to the locker room, Brandon comes over to where Tracy's sitting, and she gushes about how he's her guy, and the two start smooching. A few seconds later, she scrunches her face and says, "I smell something burning" and Brandon confirms that the smell of marijuana is definitely in the air. Dick and Steve stumble out of the locker room all stoned-like (that was some fast acting pot) and Brandon gets all judgey and asks them if getting high is how they prepare for a tournament. Dick giggles and says, "I just had a little hit" and doesn't get why Brandon has to harsh his mellow. Brandon tells him he can do whatever he wants on his own time, but says he has no intention of playing basketball with the two of them if they're getting high. Steve assures him it won't happen again, and Dick promises to maybe think about trying to abstain from weed. LOL. After Dick stumbles out of the gym, Brandon shoots Steve the stink-eye and says, "What are you thinking?" and Steve sheepishly hangs his head and doesn't reply.
Beach house. Kelly is reluctantly packing for weekend spa retreat with Clare in Palm Desert. She tells Donna she's not sure she really wants to go, but Donna says it'll be good for her to get out of town and get a new perspective. Donna reports that she's still seeing Cliff...but also hopes that David and Chloe didn't really doink.
The Walsh house. Valerie gets a call from Gigi Crane from LaLa Magazine and arranges to meet up with her at the Peach Pit. After the call, she excitedly tells Brandon and Steve that Gigi wants to feature her in her upcoming article: The 50 Coolest People You've Never Heard Of. Brandon furrows his brows and wryly says, "I've heard of you." Heh.
After Dark. Donna drops by to see David and have a really awkward conversation. He asks her what's happened to their rollercoaster of a relationship, and she's like, "I dunno" and mumbles that it's been a confusing few weeks. He says he can't stop thinking about her - but she says it doesn't seem like that, considering all the time he's been hanging with Chloe. He insists it's just business, and Donna snarkily retorts that people don't usually conduct business in their bra...then says she still cares about him, but feels safe with Cliff. David acknowledges that he wasn't there to save her from nutty Evan, but points out he's been there for her many other times. He then asks her if she came over to rub Cliff's hotness in his face, and she shakes her head no and promises to straighten things out with him. David says he hopes that by straighten things out, she means she's dumping Cliff, 'cause he doesn't want to be one of the two guys she's juggling.
Peach Pit. Valerie is meeting with Gigi Crane, who brags to nosy Nat that she has her finger on the pulse of everything fabulous. Gigi tells Valerie how impressed she is that she's a student and a club owner and says that being included in her article could be a real career booster for her.
Alumni Gym. Brandon, Steve, and Dick are competing in the three-on-three basketball tournament and appear to be kicking ass.
Desert Palm. Kelly and Clare arrive at the resort and check in...and a few seconds later, Kelly notices two dorkish guys checking them out. The guys, Roger and Dean, notice a sign advertising the upcoming performance of the Ukrainian Folk Dance Company...and they come up with an idea for an ice-breaker. They amble over to Kelly and Clare and ask them if they're with the Ukrainian dance troupe, and Clare slips into a grisly sounding Russian accent and replies, "Da. But of course" and the guys are all, "Wha-a?!" 'cause they just thought it was a clever line. They welcome Kelly and Clare to America and introduce themselves, and Clare introduces herself as Irina and Kelly as Katarina before they scurry up to their room. Roger (or Dean...not that it matters) looks smitten and says, "They're incredible."
Marina. Donna meets Cliff at the houseboat he's staying at and says they have to talk, and he glumly asks, "Are you going back to David?" and she lowers her big doe eyes and whispers, "I have to." Cliff's like, "But we have something special!" and says he doesn't want to give up on her without a fight, and she moans, "Please don't make this any harder" but he refuses to make that promise. OMFG, writers...this could not be more nauseating. Papa Martin comes strolling over to chit-chat, then informs Donna that Felice invited Cliff over to their boat for brunch tomorrow. Donna scrunches her face in fake misery at the "predicament" of being the object of worship by two men, one of whom is a hot fireman, and Cliff chuckles and smugly says, "Some forces can't be denied." She shakes her head and moans, "Oh boy...I'm in trouble."
Palm Desert. Kelly and Clare return to their room after enjoying relaxing massages and find a dinner invitation from Roger and Dean. Kelly reminds Clare she's already dating Steve, so Clare explains that she started this idiotic ruse for her benefit, which is nonsensical 'cause neither Roger nor Dean are what Kelly considers dateable. Clare calls the dorks, turns down their dinner invitation in her faux Russian accent, then abruptly hangs up.
The Walsh house. Brandon, Steve, Tracy, and Dick are having dinner - and the guys gabble on and on about their awesomeness on the basketball court and how they progressed to the tournament's semi-finals. Dick apologizes to Brandon about the dope smoking incident in the gym the other day, and Brandon explains that the stuff makes him nervous. Dick assures him he's just a "weekend warrior" and doesn't do anything harder than marijuana...and Steve looks delighted that his BFF and first runner-up BFF may finally be starting to click.
Palm Desert. Kelly and Clare are lounging by the hot tub when the dorks amble over. Oy. They talk about their careers as super successful web designers, and Kelly pretends she can speak a little broken English. Suddenly, the Ukrainian dance troupe comes trooping through the hot tub area, and Kelly and Clare are like, "Hey girls!" and act as if they know them. Roger and Dean offer to show them around the desert tomorrow, and for some reason they both say, "Da" and then flee.
After Dark. The groovin' and boozin' is in full swing. Donna makes a beeline over to David and breaks the news to him that she didn't end things with Cliff, then explains that her parents invited him to brunch tomorrow without checking with her first. David is dismayed and says that if Felice is on Team Cliff, he's toast. Well d'yuh...and as if Felice wouldn't be on Team Cliff - especially if the only other option is Team David.
Steve is hanging with Dick and Dick's girlfriend, Ellen, and Dick is acting high and out of control. Brandon, who's sitting with Tracy at the table behind them, does not look amused. Tracy remarks to Brandon that Dick looks a lot more than just drunk, meaning totally stoned, but Brandon shrugs and says he's taking a rare night off from playing narc.
Donna ambles over to the Peach Pit looking glum. She starts unloading her man problems on Nat ["Too many men loooove meeeee!"], but when she sees Cliff sitting at a nearby table, she swiftly ditches him and goes over to sit with the sexy fireman. He tells her he's soooo happy to see her, and the two order coffee.
Dick tells Steve he knows a guy who can supply him with heroin. He says he's never done it before, then goes, "But hey - there's a first time for everything, right?" Steve reminds him that they have the basketball tournament tomorrow, so Dick promises he'll just take a small hit and should be A-OK for tomorrow. He then tells Steve he'll leave "a taste" for him, but Steve says he has a fear of needles and doesn't want to inject anything into his body. Dick chuckles condescendingly and says he doesn't have to inject it; he can snort it! Like coke! Steve looks intrigued and says, "You can really snort this stuff?" and Dick is like, "Sure!" Steve mulls over the notion of snorting heroin and decides it sounds like a fabulous idea. He says, "OK. Save me a taste" 'cause what could possibly go wrong with that?
Valerie is hanging with Gigi and some other flunky from LaLa Magazine. The flunky glances around the After Dark and derisively says it looks like a frat hangout, and Valerie says she's trying to attract a more diverse clientele. Gigi assures her that once her article comes out, the "hip quotient" at the After Dark is sure to improve...and a few seconds later, all three hit the dance floor.
Ellen asks Steve if he's seen her druggie boyfriend, and Steve tells her he's in the john. She declares that she's had it with his drugging ways and stomps off somewhere. Steve enters the bathroom and - ack! - finds Dick unconscious in a stall with blood streaming out of his nose. Looks like he was sold a bad batch of smack. Steve snaps at some random extra who's washing his hands to go get help, and then Dick's eyes start fluttering as he moans, "I don't want to die." Steve barks, "You're not going to die! Look at me! Breathe!!"
The extra runs over to the Peach Pit and tells Nat to call an ambulance 'cause some guy just overdosed on the bathroom floor. Cliff overhears him, then immediately jumps into action and runs over to the After Dark to help.
David discreetly tells Valerie about the Dick Situation, and she excuses herself from Gigi and the flunky. Gigi perks up at the unmistakable state of emergency and excitedly tells the flunky, "Something is happening here!" Inside the men's room, Cliff is administering CPR on Dick, but by now he's pretty much a flatliner. A bunch of people hover over him looking sad, and we hear the sound of an ambulance siren in the background.
The paramedics wheel Dick out of the club on a gurney, and a hysterical Ellen is wailing, "Let me go with him!" Valerie, meanwhile, is dismayed that the photographer from LaLa Magazine is snapping photos of the spectacle, and when she asks Gigi if she plans on using the photographs for her article, Gigi's like, "Well, d'yuh." Steve informs Valerie that Dick told him he bought heroin from some guy who regularly pedals it at the After Dark...and when a cop asks her about her involvement, she denies knowing anything about drug selling, then says she's keeping mute until her attorney arrives. Brandon shakes his head sadly and sanctimoniously tells Tracy, "I thought he was just smoking pot. What a waste." Cliff, meanwhile, doesn't offer anyone a shred of hope that Dick will survive and and tells everyone he was definitely a goner by the time he got to him. Donna shakes her head in disbelief that Dick was doing something as heavy as heroin, and Cliff tells Donna - loud enough for David to hear - that he doubts her parents will be thrilled she's hanging in a club where kids are doing drugs in the bathroom. David snaps, "Who asked you?" and Donna tut tuts Cliff and says, "That's not fair." The cop informs David he's under suspicion for distributing narcotics and tells him he'll have to come down to the station, and Cliff takes the opportunity to offer Donna a ride home.
Palm Desert. Kelly tells Clare she wants to drop the Katarina act [because it's stupid, unfunny, and the best idea for a subplot the writers could come up with to dilute the seriousness of the "very special" Dick overdose storyline]. The phone rings just as someone knocks on the door - so Clare answers the phone while Kelly answers the door. Not surprisingly, it's Roger and Dean, and Kelly keeps up the dumb ruse of pretending she's Katarina. Over in the bedroom, Clare has been informed by Donna that Dick overdosed and died, and she looks devastated. She tells Kelly what's going on, so then Kelly gets on the phone with Donna...and Roger and Dean overhear her talking perfect English and are all, "Wha-at's going on?" and get pissy when they realize they've been played. Kelly explains that a friend of theirs died last night, but they're like, "We don't believe anything you phonies say. Do svidaniya" and exit the room. (No one cares, dorks.) Kelly tells Donna that she and Clare are coming home right away...and Donna tells her that Steve is taking Dick's death very hard.
The Walsh house. Clare calls the house, but Steve refuses to answer the phone. He's slumped on the floor of his bedroom, about to light up his pot pipe when Brandon sneaks up on him through the bathroom, looks aghast, and demands, "What are you doing?!" Steve scrunches his face and moans, "Dick's dead...Dick's dead.." and says he needs something to dull the pain. Brandon points out that smoking pot won't help him change anything, so then Steve starts weeping and wails, "I don't know what to do!" Brandon assures him he'll get through this, and Steve stares sadly at his pot pipe and sets it on the floor.
Marina. Donna arrives at her parents' boat for brunch. She explains she's late 'cause she was visiting Ellen, who's devastated about Dick's death. Felice haughtily informs her she knows all about how the police took Valerie and David in for questioning, and Donna insists that they had nothing to do with any drug dealing. When Felice and Papa Martin head below deck to get drinks, Cliff clarifies to Donna that he didn't blab to them about the overdose; her parents had already heard about it. He then shares his big news: he just received a job offer as head of security for a famous theme park in Orlando. He told them he needed a week to think about it...and if she decides she wants to be with him, he'll turn the job down and stay in L.A. What a dumb schmuck. Donna goes, "Oh Cliff.." Felice and Papa Martin return with drinks, and when Cliff goes down to the barbecue to start grilling burgers, Felice tells Donna he's sooo handsome and mature. She advises, "Do not let him get away!" but Donna just stares unhappily into space.
Police station. David and Valerie are released after questioning, and their lawyer assures them they have nothing to worry about. He does, however, recommend that they tighten up security at the After Dark.
Brandon and Steve stop by the gym and drop out of the basketball tournament, since their three man team just got reduced to a two man team.
Marina. Felice remarks to Cliff how impressed and surprised she is that he's such a polite New Yorker. Heh. Suddenly, a little kid comes over and hands Donna a note, and when she unfolds the paper, it reads "I love you - D" and the kid points to where David is standing a few feet away, staring over at her. Cliff's like, "What does he want?" and Donna smugly says, "Me." With that, she throws down her napkin and says she has to go to him...and Felice hisses, "Sit down!" and urges a hapless Cliff to do something about this - but Papa Martin tells her to shut it and orders her to go for a walk with him. Donna tells Cliff she can't go on this way, so she's making the horrible choice to stick it out with David. She urges him to take the job in Orlando, then declares she loves David and says she's sorry and hopes he understands. He nods sadly and says, "Sometimes the only way to stop a fire is to let it burn out" and says he still holds out hope that she and David will break up so he can come sniffing around again. OMFG - there really is no hope for this dumbass. She wishes him luck in Florida, kisses his cheek, then gets up and strides toward David...with the same level of determination and purpose that Richard Gere demonstrated when he strode through the factory to claim Debra Winger as his woman in An Officer and a Gentleman. Papa Martin and a dismayed Felice watch as the two smooch intensely, then stroll off together.
After Dark. A makeshift memorial in the alley has been set up in honor of Dick, and a small crowd is huddled around it, mourning the loss of the druggie douchebag. Brandon, Steve, and Tracy arrive and look at the candles, photo...and - oops - a bong. Steve scrunches his face angrily, then picks it up and asks, "Who left this here?" but no one 'fesses up. Steve throws the bong on the ground, smashing it, and lectures the crowd about how drug paraphernalia is not cool. He tells them that he was next in line to try "the big buzz", but (fortunately for him) Dick died before he was able to snort from the bad batch o' smack and suffer the same fate. He sadly recalls that Dick's last words were, "I don't want to die" then orders the mourners to remember Dick as a scholar and an athlete who let his brilliant future be destroyed by drugs. After his diatribe, Clare kisses and hugs him, and Brandon nods solemnly and says, "That was good, man." LOL. He hands him Dick's basketball jersey, and Steve lays it on the ground beside the candles and whispers, "Here's your jersey, buddy." He then kneels beside it and tears up.
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