Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 5, Episode 4

"You're not a staunch virgin by any chance, are you?"

"Life After Death"
Original airdate: 9/28/1994

Episode summary: Brandon is dazed and depressed in the aftermath of Josh's death. Donna becomes smitten with KEG hottie Griffin Stone and later learns he's the guy her mother wanted to set her up with. David meets Clare in computer class and the two immediately hit it off. Dylan and Valerie hit the sack again.

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Recap: Brandon is delivering the eulogy at the campus memorial service in honor of Josh. He remarks that today would have been Josh's first day in office, that he would have done a great job as student body president, and that he was "a profound figure on campus" ... blah blah.

After the service, Chancellor Arnold compliments Brandon on his speech, which he feels was delivered with just the right amount of dignity and compassion. Ahn-drea, meanwhile, finishes up a conversation with Alex Diaz and walks over to Brandon, and he admonishes her for consorting with "the enemy". She haughtily reminds him that Alex is an influential member of the senate and that he (Brandon) should play nice and learn how to work with the assbag. After that, Steve and Kelly walk over, and Steve tells him he did a great job with the eulogy. He then invites Brandon to a KEG party tomorrow night and says it'll give them both an opportunity to kick back and relax with an alcoholic fruit punch or two. After Steve ambles away, a young woman tentatively approaches Brandon and introduces herself as Gloria Richland, Josh's older sister. She thanks him for the lovely speech and all the nice things he said about Josh, and informs him that she'll be at Josh's dorm room later to pack up his things - in case he wants to come by and choose something of Josh's to remember him by.


The Martin house. Donna arrives with a big bag of laundry for her parents' maidservant to do. Felice jokes that she's going to have to marry a rich man who can provide her with maidservants of her own...and speaking of potential rich husbands, she knows of a young man she'd like Donna to meet. He's a junior at CU, is handsome, bright, and comes from a suitably wealthy family. She adds that he's "special" and a real hottie. He and his mother, Nanette, have been invited to tea on Monday and Felice promised them that Donna would be there as well. Felice can't remember the guy's name exactly (which seems unlikely but for the stupid writing), but it's something like Gerald or Garfield...and Donna doesn't look at all thrilled to meet a boy whose name is Gerald or Garfield.


California University. Clare's in the computer lab, playing around with a graphics program when David ambles over and asks her what she's working on. He introduces himself and says she's also in his "Intro to Media" class, and Clare lays on the sass and says, actually, it's her "Intro to Media" class. David's like, "Yeah..OK, whatever" and tells her he's producing a show for campus TV and asks her if she'd like to participate. Clare looks intrigued and mulls it over.


Pool hall. Dylan's playing pool with a disheveled looking guy in a wife-beater shirt. He asks who the babe was he was hanging with the other night, and Dylan mumbles, "Valerie." Disheveled Guy asks what happened to her, and Dylan's like, "Dunno and don't much care." Disheveled Guy says he'd care...at least for a week or two (ew), so Dylan encourages him to hook him up with Valerie and then takes a swig of his breakfast beer.


Dorm. Brandon looks on as Gloria packs up Josh's stuff and remarks on how tough this must be for her. She tells him it's been hard on her family, especially Mama Richland. She says that Josh never mentioned his friendship with Brandon, not that he would have since he was never chatty about his personal life. She then urges him to take something of Josh's he might like as a keepsake, but Brandon doesn't look interested. Gloria picks up one of Josh's sweaters and says that blue was his favorite color - then hands it to Brandon, and he looks uncomfortable about taking it, but politely accepts it.


Beach house. Donna and Clare are painting the walls of their apartment purple and orange (a blechy color combination) and for some reason Clare has a video camera running, recording them as they do this. Clare tells Donna about the cute guy she met in her computer class and that he urged her to get involved with campus TV. Donna cluelessly remarks that her ex was a "video freak" (as well as a freak who thought he was a musician). The phone rings and it's Felice calling Donna to remind her to show up at the tea to meet Gerald/Garfield. Donna assures her mom she'll be there, but forbids her to give the loser her number until she can confirm that he's not an ogre. After that, Donna and Clare stare at the half painted wall, which looks terrible, and Clare declares that it's "avant garde trash" and that they should leave it as is. I'm not sure the landlord will appreciate the extra work it's going to take to get the avant garde-ness off the wall when their lease runs out. The doorbell rings, and it's Brandon who's come to see Kelly...and he enters her room and finds her asleep holding her psychology book. He kisses her awake and tells her about his conversation with Gloria, then shows her the blue sweater she forced on him as a gift. Kelly scrunches her face and says it's creepy to take a dead person's knitwear as a souvenir, and Brandon tells her the whole thing is creepy. Kelly asks him if he wants to come to bed, and suddenly he gets irritable and says he doesn't feel like it. He starts beating himself up about the eulogy and thinks it was lame, especially considering he watched Josh burn to a crisp. He morosely remarks that it could have been him inside that car, and Kelly tells him that Dylan said the same sort of depressing shit after his father fake blew up. Her comment seems to rub Brandon the wrong way, and he abruptly gets up and tells her he wants to be alone.


California University. Kelly tells Ahn-drea she doesn't have a clue how to help Brandon deal with his grief. She feels like she screwed up when Dylan's dad died and doesn't want to repeat the misstep with Brandon. She laments that everything she says seems to be the wrong thing, but Ahn-drea assures her that that's probably not true - but the only real advice she can give her is to love him. Kelly nods and thanks her.


Campus TV station. Clare and Donna arrive to check out Clare's new hunk. She tells Donna he's cute in a "buzz cut kinda way" (um, not), then sees David across the room and points him out. Donna looks aghast, tells Clare she can have him, and storms out. Clare's confused and is all, "Wha-a?" so David comes over and explains that he and Donna used to date, and that their relationship ended after he doinked another woman in a limo. Clare informs him she's Donna's new roommate, and David wryly tells her she's living in his old room, which kinda weirds her out.


Brandon runs into Ahn-drea, who's cradling her tiny spawn (I guess she's still against putting the tot in campus daycare), on his way to his first senate meeting. He's confronted by Alex Diaz, who bitchily informs him he's planning to challenge the legitimacy of his presidency. Ahn-drea says that's ridiculous, and Alex snaps, "Tell it to a judge!" He's definitely got some anger issues, that Alex. After he storms out, Brandon calls the meeting to order, adjourns it, then high-tails it out of there too.


KEG house. As Kelly and Donna prepare guacamole for the KEG party, Donna tells Kelly that David is the guy Clare's been crushing on and that she no longer wants anything to do with him, blah blah. She then looks across the lawn and sees a gorgeous guy with the chiseled features of a Harlequin novel cover model. He's Griffin Stone, and apparently he spent the previous year abroad in Spain. Kelly urges her to go talk to him, but Donna's too chicken to make the first move.


The Peach Pit. Brandon's quietly moping at a table when Nat brings over a big plate of food and a milkshake. He asks Brandon if he's OK, and Brandon's like, "I dunno" and says that ever since he watched Josh and his car burst into flames, he doesn't feel like he has a friend in the world. Nat suggests he talk to Dylan, since he can relate to losing a loved one in a fiery crash, but Brandon says that he and Slouchy are not exactly on the best of terms these days. He asks Nat what was going through his mind when he keeled over last season from a heart attack, and Nat says he just kept thinking he wasn't ready to go. He advises Brandon not to keep asking, "Why Josh? Why not me?" since questions like that will drive him crazy (and bore the crap out of viewers). He says that only time will help him get through this, then urges him to try and eat something.


Dylan's house. Valerie comes over wearing the same denim shirt she wore at the pool hall. Dylan doesn't look thrilled to see her and grumbles that he doesn't want anything to do with anyone who lives at the Walsh house. He asks her what kind of game she's playing and she jokes, "Nine ball" then reminds him what a good time they had doinking the other night. He relents and invites her in, and she declares that he's the only person "in this phony town" who comes close to understanding her. She mocks the squeaky cleanness of Mama and Papa Walsh and can't believe he dated Brenda: "She's soo not you!" She then tells him about her father and how he shot himself in the bathroom - so then Dylan shares that his father got fake blown to smithereens by a car bomb. After that bonding moment, Valerie apologizes for not being upfront with him when they first met and says she just wanted to have some fun. He offers her a beer, and she asks him if he has anything stronger, which of course he's only too happy to crack open.


Beach house. Donna's staring at herself in the mirror wearing a fancy black dress, but she's not sure if it's what she's going to wear to the KEG party. Clare apologizes for what happened at the TV station, and Donna assures her it's not her fault and that she couldn't have known that she and David used to go out. As Donna contemplates her outfit some more, Clare heads over to the kitchen to get a second opinion on the matter from Kelly...and Kelly blabs that Donna's a sainted virgin, and that David used to be. Clare makes a face and goes, "Oee. Eee." LOL. Meanwhile, Donna has changed outfits and enters the kitchen wearing a pristine looking white dress...but then quickly decides she's too dressed up and rushes back to her room to throw on a pair of jeans.


KEG house. The party is packed, music is blaring, and there's a lot of dancing. Steve is pouring glasses of spiked punch for everyone, urging them to drink up. Brandon arrives, takes a sip of punch, and tells Steve he's not supposed to be serving alcohol on campus. Steve's like, "Yeah, whatever" and asks where Valerie is, and Brandon basically tells him he's been stood up. Kelly comes over and tells Brandon she's glad he's there and that while she may not have a clue what to say or do while he's mourning the loss of Josh, she's there for him...or not, if he doesn't want or need any support. He smiles and tells her that was the nicest thing she could have said. Donna interrupts to report to Kelly that Griffin Stone is at the party...and a few seconds later Griffin comes over, introduces himself, and invites Donna to dance.


Beach house. David comes over, but looks uneasy about being at the apartment until Clare assures him that the coast is clear - meaning that Donna and Kelly are out for the evening. He remarks how weird it is for him to be there...then tells her they probably shouldn't date because he doesn't want to hurt Donna. Clare tells him there are usually three sides to every story, but David admits that he did act like an insensitive dickwad toward Donna. Clare tells him he should probably leave, since she's "not good at being good". On his way out, he asks her that of all the beach house apartments in L.A., why did she have to choose this one? She smiles wryly and chirps, "Location, location, location."


KEG house. As Donna and Griffin slow dance, he feeds her a line about how he'd never have gone to Spain if he'd met her during his freshman year. Yeah right. He then compliments her dancing and asks her what else she's good at, so of course Donna gets her back up, assuming he's referring to SEX...but he swiftly saves the moment by listing various activities: rollerblading, 100 meter freestyle, and hand gliding - and Donna giggles and says she's not the outdoor type. He then asks her how she feels about indoor sports (like SEX) and she pulls away from him and says if he's looking for anything beyond some light, over-the-bra action, she's not his girl. He assures her he's just kidding around and is only trying to get to know her better. She warns him that she's a "good Catholic girl" and he's like, "That's great, 'cause I'm a good Catholic boy!" (why do I not believe him?) and the two continue dancing.


Hours later, everyone's drunk and some of the KEGers are causing a ruckus on the front lawn. When campus security arrives, Steve panics since there's no way he can quickly hide all the booze circulating around. He spots Brandon and enlists his help, so the two go outside to try to ward off the security officers. One of the officers snarks that this house is always their first stop, and remarks on all the beers cans that are strewn across the lawn. They want to enter the house and look around, but Brandon interjects, identifies himself as student body president, and says he just arrived on the scene to break up the party. Steve corroborates the fib and claims he hasn't been serving any alcohol - it's only there because the guests brought it with them. The officers, who were clearly born yesterday, believe the implausible story and order Steve to make sure everyone gets home safe. After they leave, an annoyed Brandon admonishes Steve for putting him in that position and warns him not to do it again.


Dylan's house. Dylan and Valerie are in bed, enjoying a post-coital canoodle. He asks her about the party she was supposed to go to, and she sighs happily and tells him she likes this party better. She says, in summary, that she's been in his bed all day (ew), has told him her deepest darkest secrets, and now wants to know his...but he says he doesn't have any. He then takes a swig of beer and warns her to keep their affair a secret, and makes it clear he has zero interest in being her boyfriend. She pretends to be totally fine with that and assures him she's not looking for a boyfriend and jokes about how she won't expect him to go miniature golfing with her anytime soon. He asks her what the deal is with her and Steve, and she shrugs and says, "Not much." He orders her to keep it that way, since Steve is a good friend and he doesn't want him to get burned. Valerie derisively retorts that Steve is a big boy and, "If he doesn't want to get burned, he shouldn't be playing with matches." Too bad the poor bastard doesn't actually realize he's playing with matches. Dylan chuckles, calls her a bad girl, and the two start going at it again.


The Peach Pit. Steve runs into Valerie at the diner and asks her why she bailed on the party Saturday night. She tells him she was tired, and that it must be the time change - LOL, nice one - but then Steve points out she's been living in L.A. for an entire month now. She apologizes and promises to make it up to him just as Dylan suddenly slouches over to where they're sitting. Steve introduces him to Valerie and tells him she's the gal who replaced Brenda in the Walsh house...and Dylan grunts something unintelligible at her. Valerie amuses herself by telling Steve they should go miniature golfing sometime soon.


The Martin house. The doorbell rings and it's Felice's tea date, Nanette, who says her son is driving himself over and should be arriving any moment. Donna looks like she's dreading meeting Gerald/Garfield, so when she doorbell rings a second time, she drags herself over to the door to answer it...and is stunned when it's Griffin. Turns out he's Nanette's son. She chides him for knowing who she was this whole time and not saying anything, then accuses him of checking her out. He feigns innocence and is like, "Who, me?" and she lets out one of her annoying hmm giggles. He then suggests they blow off tea with their mothers and head over to the beach, and she lets out another hmm giggle.


Chancellor's office. Brandon gets advice from the chancellor on how to deal with Angry Alex Diaz's challenge to his presidency. The chancellor tells him that until the challenge plays out, he's the acting president. Brandon just wants to resign, but the chancellor urges him to hang in there and let what's already devolved into a boring storyline run its course. He then asks Brandon how things are between him and Clare (?) and Brandon gives him a vague, "Fine" and says she recently moved in with a couple of his close friends. The chancellor's like, "I know, right?!" and says he couldn't be more thrilled.


Beach house. Clare and David are working on the TV show and he's got his arm draped around her. She tells him she hasn't had a strictly platonic relationship since she was thirteen, and that it's actually not so bad. Donna arrives home wearing a skimpy red bikini, and Clare and David awkwardly say hello. Clare explains that she and David are working on the storyboard for whatever shitty video they're cobbling together, and Donna breezily assures them that since she has a love interest of her own who's a total hottie, it's now OK for them to all be friends. Griffin enters the apartment, shirtless and in swim trunks, and Donna proudly introduces him to Clare and David.


The Walsh house. Brandon's lying in bed, thinking about the conversation he had with Josh just before he died. Mama Walsh pokes her head in his room and asks him if he's OK, and he's like, "Uh, no." She tells him that Gloria Richland is here to see him, and he immediately gets up and goes downstairs. Gloria tells Brandon that her mother sent something she thought he might like to see: a letter that Josh wrote the day before he died.


In the next scene, Brandon is reading the letter aloud to Kelly at the beach apartment. In the letter, Josh describes Brandon as a WASP from Minnesota who he initially thought was a jerk, but now realizes is a really great guy and could possibly become a lifelong friend. When he finishes reading the letter, Brandon looks thoughtful and tells Kelly that he and Josh planned to do great things if they got elected...so Kelly points out he did get elected. Brandon tells her she's right, and that he's not going to give up the presidency without a fight. The two exchange I love yous and then cuddle together on her bed. 

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