Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 5, Episode 29

Old West Dylan is as big a lush as '90s Dylan!

"The Real McCoy"
Original airdate: 5/10/1995

Episode summary: Dylan goes under hypnosis, regresses to the Old West, and hooks up with Kelly. Brandon runs for re-election as student body president and loses to Alex Diaz. Papa Walsh is worried he might soon be fired. 

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Recap: Brandon is about to adjourn the final student senate meeting of the year when Alex Diaz announces that he has a surprise motion. Brandon braces himself for something controversial or moronic, but it turns out that Alex and Janice just want to commemorate his year as student body president. The door suddenly opens, and Steve and Kelly wheel in a giant cake...and the rest of the gang (along with Mama and Papa Walsh) file into the room. Janice publicly thanks Brandon for a job well done and urges him to run for re-election, and everyone applauds. Brandon looks touched and thanks the student senators for an incredible year, then looks contemplative for a few seconds before announcing that he will, in fact, run for re-election. He gives Kelly the green light to start cutting the cake, and Valerie remarks to Donna how impressive Brandon's poise is, then asks her how tight he and Kelly really are. Donna just scrunches her face, while Valerie stares over at Brandon hungrily...and I find her sudden attraction to him implausible and really really disturbing.

Student union. Brandon tells the gang he's opting for a low-key campaign since (so far) he's running unopposed. Valerie gushes about how much she loves it when he talks political science, and this nauseates Clare and prompts her to murmur to Donna that they'd better get Kelly over here pronto. Elsewhere in the student union, Papa Walsh tells his wife there's something brewing at work, and he thinks his job might be on the line. Brandon runs into Jesse and Ahn-drea and tells them he's glad they're not moving to Boise, then tells them about how he recently got in touch with Jordan Bonner. Apparently he's now the editor of the Yale Daily News and has never forgiven Ahn-drea for reneging on her promise to attend Yale. Nor have I. Ahn-drea chuckles and says that was soo Season 4 and is long forgotten. Just as Brandon ambles off, Valerie calls out to him, but he doesn't hear her, and Clare and David snidely tell her how overt she's being about her new-found lust for Mr. Dreamy. Valerie's like, "What. Ever" and strolls over to Kelly and asks her when she's heading off to New York. (Apparently, Kelly and Steve are flying to New York for some modelling related business.) Valerie tells her she'll take very good care of "her guy" while she's gone, then clarifies that she's talking about Dylan. Kelly just stares back at her mutely.


Valerie packs up a picnic basket and heads over to Dylan's house...but before she can ring the doorbell, Charlie exits the house and tells her that Dylan's in the middle of something with the hypnotist. He grabs the picnic basket out of her hands and says they'll check on him later. Haha!


The hypnotist (whose name I finally learned was Molly) is putting Dylan under, and he's quickly transported to the Old West. His name is Billy McCoy, he's wanted by the authorities, and is currently robbing a stagecoach. A meek young blonde girl - Kelly Taylor in a bonnet! - is whimpering fearfully, and Dylan gently coos at her and says he could never harm a lass as sweet as her. As Billy and Zeke (his partner in crime) pack up their newly stolen loot, the stagecoach driver shoots at Billy, but he whirls around and shoots the guy in the hand. After that, Billy and Zeke ride off on their horses.


Dylan then starts hilariously narrating the episode: "So begins the legend of Billy McCoy..." LOL "...a kid with a quick draw, a quick temper, and an understanding that one day he'll probably get shot in the back." Oops - spoiler alert. Billy and Zeke enter a saloon, and we see that there's a wanted sign with Billy's mug hanging on the wall. One of the men playing cards at a table notices the sign, looks over at Billy and starts twitching...and suddenly both men reach for their pistols and start shooting. Molly interrupts the regression and asks Dylan what he's seeing, and he tells her it's a "bloody mess". That it is, cowboy. When we're transported back to the Old West, we see that Billy got shot in the altercation and is bleeding profusely.


Dylan continues narrating, saying that everybody knew about Billy McCoy and his gang...and that he had his favorite whiskey and his favorite girl. In the next scene, Billy's in bed doinking a saloon singer named Dixie while they're both fully clothed 'cause this aired on primetime TV. Afterward, Billy staggers out of bed to swig some more whiskey, and when he looks out the window he notices Kelly wandering around, daintily carrying a parasol. He stares down at her, intrigued.


The Peach Pit. Charlie tells Valerie that regression therapy feels like "the real deal" when you're going through it, but Valerie remains skeptical and thinks it sounds too "out there".


The Old West. Billy and his gang are robbing a bank. The banker shoots at Billy, misses, and Billy retaliates by shooting him to death. Hours later, Billy drinks whiskey and broods over the killing. Dixie asks him if he's going to doink her tonight or what, but he doesn't answer and gets up and staggers downstairs. Outside, his gang is tormenting a Native American man, shooting at his feet. Hey - it's the police guy from the sweat lodge episode! Dylan pulls out his gun and orders his men to stop shooting at him, and they sullenly disperse. The Native American man is helped into the saloon by some kind passersby, and Kelly sashays over and, in a wretched southern accent, compliments Billy on showing the poor sod some humanity. He remembers her from the stagecoach robbery, which apparently happened a long time ago, and asks her if she thinks a person can change. She tells him she does, and that he probably shouldn't spend the rest of his life in a haze of alcohol and gun powder. Dylan then narrates about how, at that moment, Billy knew his days as an outlaw were over, and that the next phase was to begin. In the next scene, Billy and Kelly are picnicking under a tree, and she's reading him the bible.


The outlaw gang isn't pleased by Billy's new, softer side. Zeke tells him about a train heading to town that they'd like to rob, and Billy assures them he'll be there - but Dixie senses that he's lying 'bout that. Sure enough, Billy pulls a no-show the following day, and the gang heads out on their train robbing excursion without him. Elsewhere in the Old West, Billy and Kelly are traveling in the opposite direction, ready to start their new life together.


Dylan's house. Valerie and Charlie drop by, and Valerie sarcastically asks Dylan how his regression is going. He snarkishly tells her he found out he was going straight to hell until Kelly Taylor came into the picture. Apparently, they have a "seminal link" (the fuck?), and according to Molly it's the strongest link she's ever channeled in all of her hypnosis scams. Charlie explains that he and Kelly must be soulmates and exclaims, "Far out!" while Valerie looks put out.


The Walsh house. Papa Walsh is still moaning to his wife about how weird things are at the office, and he's worried he may soon get the ax. Sorry Jim...but you and Cindy have fully exhausted your usefulness on the show, so it's off to "Hong Kong" you go. Spoiler. Brandon arrives home and excitedly tells his parents that the editorial board of The Condor endorsed his candidacy. It's really weird that the campus newspaper wouldn't remain politically neutral as a matter of policy...and it's also weird that the election is taking place at the end of the academic year and not in September, the way it did earlier this very season. Brandon heads upstairs, smells the familiar stench of pot, and tentatively knocks on Valerie's door. She's laying on her window seat, puffing on a reefer, and when she hears him knocking she quickly puts out the joint and waves the smoke toward the window as if that's going to do anything. Brandon pokes his head inside her room and asks her if she's OK and she mumbles, "Yeah..." then asks him if he has a soulmate - and if so, is it Kelly? Brandon furrows his brows and says that while he's not planning to get married anytime soon, he does see a future with Kelly. Valerie starts complaining about how Kelly wants to turn the entire clique against her, then reveals that when she (Valerie) first arrived in L.A., her main goal was to entice Brandon to look at her as something other than a sister. Ack! Really? I did not get that sense from watching the season premiere. Brandon tells her they're way past that now, so she recalls their first ever bathroom conversation and points out that ever since that episode they've never so much as touched or rubbed up against each other. She adds that she hopes Kelly appreciates what she has, and Brandon's like, "Yeah, me too" and pulls her into a hug. That was awkward to watch.


Beach house. Donna asks David and Clare if they'd like some sushi takeout, and they're totally up for it - until they realize that Ray is part of the dinner plans. Clare suddenly pretends they're due at "Betsy's surprise party", and David wisely plays along. Donna says she's disappointed, then rushes to answer the doorbell. Ray gives David and Clare the stink-eye and asks, "Betsy isn't really having a party, is she?" and David tells him he doesn't know anyone named Betsy. Clare sarcastically asks him how Valerie is doing, and he grunts back that he wouldn't know, and Clare snarks at him to keep it that way.


Dylan calls Kelly in her New York hotel room and tells her he hasn't been able to stop thinking about her...and she says that New York reminds her of him. Steve interrupts and says they have to "jam" to an important agency meeting (or whatever). Kelly promises Dylan she'll call him when she's done, quickly hangs up, and rushes off with Steve.


California University. Ahn-drea is chatting to Mama Walsh, gabbling about how psyched she is to leave L.A. Brandon pops by and announces that he's about to do a live interview for Campus TV, then quickly scurries off. A worried looking Mama Walsh asks Ahn-drea if she thinks he'll win the election, and Ahn-drea assures her that barring "a twist of cataclysmic proportion", he has it in the bag.


As Clare pins a microphone on Brandon for the TV interview, she warns him to be careful 'cause something is afoot. In the next scene, the interviewer asks Brandon about the 15% tuition hike that just got announced, and Brandon chuckles nervously and stares back at him like a deer in headlights. After the interview he heads over to the dean, who tells him they all got screwed over on the tuition hike thing. He assures Brandon that no reasonable person would hold him accountable for the increase...and two seconds later, Brandon catches sight of Alex Diaz in the student union, railing to whoever's in earshot about what a rip-off the tuition hike is. Well d'yuh. Janice, who's standing nearby, admonishes Brandon for not informing anyone about a potential hike, and Brandon says he thought it was just a worst case scenario. He's worried that Alex will suddenly run for student body president (he will) and win the election (he does). Brandon then runs into Valerie, and the two banter about his campaign. She jokingly promises to stuff ballots for him, and he looks oddly impressed by her loyalty.


New York. Kelly returns to her hotel room and finds a stack of phone messages from Dylan. Steve is all, "Wha-at's going on with you and Dylan?" and Kelly says she has no idea.


Molly's house. Dylan begs Molly to regress him to where he and Kelly rode off to start their new life. Molly says she doesn't know if she can do that, reminds him of their "seminal link", and asks him what he's really looking for. Dylan doesn't answer and just stares back at her mutely.


Dylan regresses back to the Old West. He goes by Jedediah now, works as a marshal, and he and Kelly are married and have a bunch of kids. He and his brood are outside their church, chatting it up with the reverend, when Billy's former partner in crime, Zeke, rides up. Billy walks over to see what he wants, and Zeke tells him that Dixie is about to be hanged for not handing over the deed to her saloon - say what? - and she desperately needs his help. Kelly's worried about him returning to his former life of crime and getting killed, but he promises her he'll be OK, then mounts his horse and trots off.


Billy arrives in town just as Dixie is being led toward a giant noose. The outlaws start shooting, and in all the chaos Billy is able to whisk Dixie away and transport her to the nearest train station. She buys a ticket to San Francisco, and he hands her a pouch of money and hugs her goodbye. Suddenly, a shot is fired and Billy collapses to the ground. A young boy exclaims that he just shot the man who killed his pa...and then we're fast-forwarded to Billy's funeral, where Kelly is standing over his coffin, crying. After that, a stream of people throw flowers on top of him, including present day Brandon, Steve, Donna, Mama/Papa Walsh, and Kelly. Dylan is jolted back to reality and asks Molly what's going on...and she starts nattering nonsensically about about how time is elastic, and that regression and premonitions are related. Dylan looks confused and asks if this means he left his past life and jumped ahead to the future and witnessed his funeral..? and Molly just shrugs uselessly and says anything's possible. LOL. Dylan suddenly recalls that Iris once took him to a palm reader, and she told him he had a short life-line and that he should make the most of his time on earth. 


After Dark. Brandon has lost the election to Alex Diaz and is moping at what was supposed to be his victory party. Clare asks him to dance, and he wisely declines and goes over to talk to a bummed looking Valerie. She tells him she really wanted him to win, and he admits he did too. Across the room, Papa Walsh tells his wife he nearly resigned due to all the weirdness at work. That would truly be dumb, Jim. Let the douchebags in charge lay you off so you can get a handsome payout. Mama Walsh announces to Brandon that they're far too depressed to stay any longer, and leave. Ahn-drea tells Jesse she feels bad that Brandon lost the election, and Jesse is surprisingly unsympathetic and says a little humble pie never hurt anyone. He then informs her that he was just offered a teaching position at Yale Law School - 'cause, yeah, that's believable - and he told them he'd take the job, but only if they agreed to enroll Ahn-drea as a full time student. Not knowing what a tool she is, they said yes! Ahn-drea is thrilled, and the two hug and kiss. Meanwhile, Nat answers the phone, and it's Kelly calling for Brandon. Valerie looks annoyed and snarks to Donna that it's just like Kelly to call after the polls have closed (um...so?). Donna just scrunches her face in confusion and asks, "What's the difference?"


Kelly offers her condolences to Brandon for losing the election, then says she's too tired to continue talking. After she hangs up, the doorbell rings and it's Dylan. He slouches inside the apartment and tells her he's been thinking about her a lot, then kisses her...and she kisses him back. 

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