Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 4, Episodes 31 & 32

"I tried to be faithful, but when Ariel put her genitals over top of my genitals, all thoughts of monogamy went out the window."

"Mr. Walsh Goes to Washington"
Original airdate: 5/25/1994

Episode summary: Brandon travels to Washington, D.C. to attend the task force conference and meet President Clinton...and is stalked by Clare and Lucinda. Ahn-drea gives birth to a tiny preemie girl who has to be kept in an incubator. Brenda plans to spend the summer in London (never to return to Beverly Hills, 90210 again), Kevin scams Dylan out of his millions, and Donna catches David doinking Ariel Hunter in the back of a limo and breaks up with him.

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Recap: Everyone is setting up for the CU "Mardi Gras". David is sitting at a table with Donna, doing a really lengthy sound check over a microphone. Kelly walks around the carnival-in-progress and gathers David, Donna, and Steve so they can all head over to the hospital together and check in on Ahn-drea, Jesse, and their preemie spawn.

Hospital. Ahn-drea's laying on the operating table, about to have a cesarean. A nurse in the background tells her her baby's doing fine, and Jesse holds her hand and murmurs soothing words. The gang arrives in the waiting area and run into Dylan, who's already been there for a couple of hours. He asks Kelly if she wants coffee, and she expresses surprise that he's still talking to her. He shrugs and is like, "D'yuh" then announces that he has to leave to do to some important bidness with Kevin at Papa Walsh's firm. Kelly rolls her eyes, as she does every time Kevin's name comes up in conversation, and Dylan asks her if she has a problem with that, and she says, "Not anymore"...and halle-fucking-lujah for that. After Dylan slouches off, Kelly spots Brandon and strolls over to where he's sitting, and he informs her that he re-booked his flight to D.C. and is now flying out on the red-eye. Steve finds Jesse and brings him over to give the gang an update, which is that the baby has finally been born, and she's a teeny tiny girl who's being kept inside an incubator in the NICU. Donna asks him what her name is, and he says they haven't decided yet...so Brenda tells him he should name the baby after her, and I'm not entirely sure she was kidding. The gang disperses except for Brandon, and Jesse tells him that Ahn-drea would love to see him before he leaves for D.C. He says that things with the baby will be "touch and go" for awhile since she only weighs 2 pounds, 8 ounces...and adds that it's hard for him to keep his spirits up. The two enter Ahn-drea's room and Brandon gently wakes her. She looks happy to see him, then proceeds to tell him she feels numb, hasn't gotten to see her baby yet, and doesn't want to go home without her. After that cheerless conversation, Brandon says his goodbyes and heads home to pack for his trip.


Papa Walsh's office. Papa Walsh is reading through the prospectus for Kevin's bogus company with Dylan, Kevin, and a group of old men investors. Kevin and Dylan request a break, and when they step out in the hallway, they both admit how confused and bewildered they are. Papa Walsh pops out of the meeting room and assures Kevin that his firm is behind him and his prospectus. Kevin looks disinterested and mumbles something before wandering off to use the can, and Papa Walsh remarks to Dylan that the investors in that room represent a lot of investment capital. Dylan gleefully declares that those investors are going to make him a rich man.


CU carnival. David and Donna are MCing the carnival and announce to everyone that all of the proceeds will be going to charity, and Babyface will be performing later in the week. Suddenly, Ariel Hunter rushes over and asks David if he has any extra parking passes, and he says he does and then the two go off together to fetch them. Donna doesn't look thrilled to see Ariel and glares at her and David suspiciously.


Muntz and another KEGer are fighting each other gladiator style over a giant mud pit...and Muntz loses, falls in, and gets coated with mud. John Sears makes a surprise appearance and grumbles about how he "owned" the KEG house before Steve came along, then challenges Steve to a gladiator fight. Steve accepts the challenge, but quickly loses and falls into the mud like Muntz.


The Walsh house. Brandon's chatting with Brenda while packing for D.C. Mama and Papa Walsh enter his room and tell him how excited they are that he's going to meet the president. Papa Walsh suggests that maybe one day Brandon will become president, but as soon as they leave the room, Brandon tells Brenda he has no interest in professional politics. Brenda announces that she's off to meet Roy Randolph before he slithers out of town, then wishes Brandon a good trip and congratulates him on all his success with the task force. He tells her she's a great sister, and the two share their last Beverly Hills, 90210 hug ever.


Student Union. Roy asks Brenda if she'd like to enroll in an acting program at the prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London, and says he could get her in with one phone call. He tells her she's very talented and has a future as an actress - something I find highly questionable based on the unimpressive bits of stage acting we've seen from her this season. Brenda tells him she needs to think it over, but he warns her not to take too long to decide, since classes start in two weeks.


Hospital. Ahn-drea complains to Jesse that she's having trouble sleeping, wah wah. A nurse arrives with a wheelchair to take Ahn-drea to the NICU, but Jesse doesn't think that's a good idea and warns her that the baby had a rough night; at one point she stopped breathing, and she now needs a blood transfusion. Ahn-drea wails that she has to go to her, so Jesse gives in and wheels her to the NICU. Ahn-drea stares at her preemie spawn inside the incubator and tearfully remarks how beautiful she is, then reaches her hand inside to gently stroke the little gaffer...who then wraps her tiny hand around Ahn-drea's finger.


Washington, D.C. Brandon arrives at his hotel and meets up with the chancellor, who tells him how happy Clare will be to see him. Oh joy. Clare, who's standing a few away, turns around and pretends to look surprised at the sight of Brandon, and the chancellor chuckles like the clueless dimwit he is and tells Brandon not to be fooled...and reveals that she's been bugging the hotel clerk nonstop about whether he checked in yet. The chancellor spots a senator across the room and rushes off to talk to her, and Clare sidles over to Brandon and tells him she told her father that she came along to D.C. to check out eastern colleges. She looks around and notices the dean across the room and remarks how well he's doing for himself, so Brandon looks over and sees that the dean is chatting with Lucinda Nicholson. The dean and Lucinda immediately notice that Brandon and Clare are staring at them, so they stroll over to say hello. Lucinda explains that she's in D.C. to meet with the NEA about her film, and Clare sounds intrigued to meet a filmmaker...but Lucinda corrects her and calls herself a documentarist. Clare needlessly tells her that Brandon recently took her to her senior prom...and after the dean wisely makes a break for it, Clare and Lucinda both put their arms around Brandon, and a photographer magically appears at that moment to snap their photo.


The Walsh house. Papa Walsh gets a phone call from someone at his office, informing him that Kevin hasn't closed the deal yet. When he finishes the call, he mutters to Mama Walsh that his life would be a lot easier if Kevin had signed on the dotted line before his wedding day. He looks worried, but Mama Walsh assures him that everything will work out and be just dandy. Brenda enters the kitchen, babbling in a horrifying Cockney accent: "Good mornin', mum. A pot of tea to warm up me old cockles." Papa Walsh looks amused and asks her if she's rehearsing for a new play (perish the thought), and she replies, "More like a whole new life." She tells her parents about Roy's offer and that she's thinking seriously of taking him up on it and spending the summer studying acting in London. Papa Walsh asks her how much this jaunt is going to set him back, and she says it won't cost him anything. He looks understandably taken aback, so she explains that she's hardly spent any of the money she earned while working for him all year and would like to spend it on this. Mama and Papa Walsh look a little startled by her sudden news, but assure her that they're supportive of her decision.


CU carnival. D'Shawn is wearing what appears to be long underwear as he sits on the chair over the dunk tank. David makes several attempts to hit the target with a baseball, but keeps missing. Donna gives it a whirl and, of course, hits it on her first try, and D'Shawn falls into the tank. As he clowns around in the water, Donna bossily orders him back up and tells him there's a long line of people waiting to dunk him for charity. David asks Donna if she wants to get a bite to eat, but she declines and tells him she's meeting Kelly and Brenda for a late breakfast. Just as she heads off, Ariel comes running over, and David looks flushed and pleased when she says she was looking for him. She tells him that everything is in place for Babyface's concert tonight, including his pre-performance sound check. She invites him to get something to eat, so the two walk over to a nearby booth and he buys her a hotdog. Donna reappears for some reason and looks discombobulated at the sight of David and Ariel sharing a hotdog, and David makes a not-so-subtle attempt to ditch her when he dismissively says, "Tell Brenda and Kelly I said hi." Hee! Donna stares back at them like she's constipated, then stomps off to meet her friends for breakfast.


Picnic table. Brenda's telling Kelly about her plans to spend the summer in London just as Donna arrives. Donna whines that she's no longer hungry, since she lost her appetite after seeing Ariel and David eat hotdogs together. Brenda's like, "Who's Ariel?" so Donna tells her she's a music rep who's trying to get David in a band (sweet baby Jesus, nooo!!) and that she also wants to get into his pants - God knows why. Kelly and Brenda tell her she can't be jealous of every girl David talks to, but Donna whines that it's easy for them to say that since they were both willing to doink their boyfriends. She looks hopeless and wails, "What do I have to hold him?!" Um, not a helluva lot. Brenda and Kelly try to assure her that a girl can't hold onto a guy with sex...and then Brenda mercifully changes the subject and remarks that she and Kelly are right back where they started: boyfriend-less, and not in a relationship with Dylan. Mmm...I would consider not being in a relationship with Dylan upward progress.


Restaurant. It's Kevin's and Suzanne's wedding day, and the happy couple, plus Erica and Dylan, are eating brunch in a fancy hotel restaurant. Kevin and Dylan discuss the deal that Papa Walsh is trying to put together, and Dylan grumps that it has limited partnerships and he's not very enthused about it. Kevin says he didn't realize how big "this thing" could be and wants to cut the investors out of the deal.


CU carnival. Steve runs into his ex-girlfriend Celeste, who informs him that she's currently dating John Sears...and Steve looks understandably dismayed by this news.


Washington, D.C. After lunching with the dean and the chancellor, Brandon heads up to his hotel room for a brief rest. He hears his shower running, and when he enters his bathroom to investigate, he sees sexy underwear strewn across the floor. He correctly guesses it's Clare and asks her what she's doing and how she got into his room. She tells him she has her ways, and he barks at her to finish up and get dressed. A few minutes later, she emerges from the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and sprawls across his bed. He's clearly uptight about her presence in his room, so she tells him to chillax and reminds him that he has to deliver his big speech in less than an hour. She tells him that after his speech, he can return to his room, and the two of them can finally doink. He looks shell shocked by this declaration and weakly admits, "I give up" and she retorts with, "Good!" and forcibly kisses him. It's really annoying that Brandon is so utterly incapable of setting any boundaries whatsoever with this relentless skank.


Hospital. Steve and Kelly arrive to visit Ahn-drea, and he's complaining about Celeste hooking up with John Sears. Kelly doesn't really care and reminds him that Celeste is a big girl and that it's her life. Steve then tells her he's worried he might blurt out something stupid in front of Ahn-drea about her premature baby being an uggo, so Kelly advises him to just keep his trap shut and function as a mute friend. The two enter Ahn-drea's room just as Ahn-drea snipes at Jesse, "Nothing is OK! Wah!!" Kelly and Steve stand awkwardly in the doorway and ask if they should come by at a better time, but Ahn-drea invites them in and says that there probably won't be a better time. Kelly walks over to the bed and gives her a hug, and Ahn-drea tells her that her baby is fighting to stay alive. She asks Steve to get Jesse out of her room so he can take a walk and get some fresh air...and as soon as Steve and Jesse are out of earshot, Ahn-drea tells Kelly that she's falling apart. Kelly asks her what she can do, so Ahn-drea tearfully invites her to come with her to the NICU to visit her baby, and Kelly says she'd be honored.


CU carnival. Dylan brings Erica to the CU festivities, and she starts playing on a climbing rope thing with a bouncy landing...and I'm sure we're all supposed to find the little frizzhead totes adorable while she's doing that. Mama and Papa Walsh and Brenda also make an appearance at the carnival, and Papa Walsh pulls Dylan aside and asks him if Kevin said anything about the investors' meeting. He explains that he's getting pressure from the higher-ups at his firm to seal the deal, and wonders what Kevin's waiting for.


Hospital. Kelly and Ahn-drea are in the NICU, staring at her tiny baby in the incubator. Kelly admires how cute she is, and the nurse enters and informs them that the baby's breathing has stabilized and that she hasn't lost any weight in the last eight hours. Ahn-drea tells Kelly that they're thinking of calling her Hannah, so Kelly encourages her to decorate her daughter's incubator...but then Ahn-drea puts her sad face on and says that Jesse's too terrified to even name the tiny tot in case she doesn't make it. Well that's dumb - she still needs a name, regardless.


Jesse tells Steve he feels like he's living in someone else's nightmare. I guess that's what being married to Ahn-drea does to a person. He laments the expedited timeline of their relationship/storyline: he met a girl, went out a few times...then BOOM, they're married and have a preemie. He tells Steve he wanted to get to know Ahn-drea before they got married...which is totally ironic, 'cause if he had, it's highly doubtful he'd have wanted to marry her. Steve tells him she's a great girl: funny, smart, and a good kisser...then chuckles at the memory from Season 1 and tells Jesse about the revolting scene when he mounted Ahn-drea and kissed her while cramming for the SAT. Blech! Steve then brings up the fact that he was adopted, and Jesse remarks that his daughter looks like him - and is startled when he realizes he uttered the word "daughter" for the first time. Steve asks him if he wants to hit a restaurant and get some real food, but Jesse declines and says he should probably stay close to the ol' ball and chain.


Kelly wheels Ahn-drea back to her room and tells her that Mardi Gras is hot...but Dylan's not. Haha - so true. Kelly tells her all about their recent breakup and how she got very tired of fighting with him, but that she's A-OK they're no longer a couple because she already has her eye on another guy: Brandon. She recalls that she and Brandon kissed during the task force retreat and that it was really nice...then wonders aloud if she's nuts to be attracted to him. Ahn-drea looks delighted at this development and assures her that to be crazy about Brandon is not to be nuts. Well...possibly, though Ahn-drea's unhealthy, unreciprocated fixation on Brandon that lasted nearly three seasons could definitely be classified as nuts. Kelly says she's decided to skip town for a few days, and Ahn-drea correctly guesses that she's flying off to D.C. to initiate a love-match with Brandon.


CU carnival. Donna snippily asks David where he's been all day, and he evasively tells her he was at the petting zoo and then got something to eat. He insists that he tried to find her, and she snarks that he obviously didn't try very hard. To appease her, he offers to hang out with her at the dunk tank (where she's apparently "on duty") and she agrees.


Washington, D.C. Brandon has just delivered his speech and is complimented by several people on how brilliant it was. When he steps into the elevator, the dean and the chancellor give him a mini standing ovation. After that, the chancellor asks him if he's seen Clare around, and Brandon stammers that he has - sort of - and the chancellor says if he does happen to run into her, he should remind her about their group dinner plans. By scripted coincidence, Lucinda steps into the elevator - and a minute later, the dean and the chancellor get off on their floor. Lucinda advances on Brandon and starts fondling him...and remarks that they never did it in an elevator, then runs down a list of all the places where they did do it, which I really didn't need to hear. Brandon reminds Lucinda that they didn't exactly part on the best of terms (as I recall, they were very bad terms), but she doesn't care and still wants to ride his baloney pony. They exit the elevator on his floor, and when they reach his room, he tells her that someone's waiting for him. She thinks he's bluffing, but when he knocks on his door and Clare appears (still wearing Brandon's bathrobe), Lucinda looks disappointed. Brandon tells his two admirers that they have a lot in common...and then Clare invites Lucinda to join them for dinner. It's weird that Clare would actively encourage the presence of competition, especially a woman who's more experienced in the sack...and infinitely more attractive.


Restaurant. Brandon's seated between Clare and Lucinda, and they both slip their hands under the table and fondle his upper thighs. Brandon just laughs nervously, and the dean and chancellor, as well all the other random people sitting at the table, stare over at him like he's a mental patient.


CU carnival. Dylan, Brenda, and Erica are hanging out. Erica sees a cute boy her age...and it turns out that he's Leslie Sumner's little brother, so Brenda gets Donna to introduce the two kids. That accomplished, Dylan and Brenda go on the Ferris wheel together, and she remarks how much like a metaphor it is for their toxic relationship - in that it just goes around and around in a never ending, vomit-inducing loop. She tells him she's definitely spending the summer in London, and he says she'll love London...and they both agree they'll miss each other a lot, blah blah.


Washington, D.C. After dinner, Lucinda whispers to Brandon that in a few minutes she'll covertly come by his hotel room for a romp, then confidently strides off. Seconds later, Clare whispers the exact same thing to him. After she scampers off, Brandon heads over to the concierge and tells him he needs to change rooms for the night. That's probably a request for the front desk reservations staff, not the concierge. Dumbass.


CU carnival. Steve is now sitting in the chair above the dunk tank, and John Sears keeps hitting the target and repeatedly dunking him. Celeste soon bores of this bloodsport and tells John she wants to go get something to eat. A drenched Steve blurts out what a sleazeball John is...so John gets another ball, hits the target, and dunks Steve again. After the final dunk, John smirks at him and leaves with Celeste...and as Celeste walks away, she gives him a sympathetic look while shrugging helplessly.


Washington, D.C. The following morning, Clare and Lucinda hover over a sleeping Brandon, debating whether or not they should wake him. Clare wonders whassup with all his half-conscious mumbling about how sex without love is meaningless, then whines that he's still waiting for the right girl to come in and sweep him off his feet. She and Lucinda start kissing him menage-a-trois style, and Brandon wakes in a sudden, cold sweat. It was all a dream! There's a knock on his door from room service...and Brandon barks back that he didn't order anything and opens the door, and suddenly Kelly appears and chirps, "I did." He invites her in and tells her how happy he is to see her, and that he has the whole day free to eat a leisurely breakfast with her before going sightseeing. Meanwhile, Lucinda and Clare are at the front desk, trying hard to crack the mystery of where Brandon spent the night. Lucinda happens to glance across the lobby and sees Brandon leaving the hotel, his arm around Kelly. The two gals realize they've just been had - well, not had - and then throw in the towel and go to breakfast together.


Dylan's house. Suzanne and Kevin return from a short honeymoon romp, and Erica excitedly tells her mom all about the CU carnival and the boy she danced with. Suzanne's like, "A boy!" and there's some annoying back and forth about how adorable that is, blah blah. Dylan tells Kevin he's been thinking about their business venture and has come to the conclusion that he doesn't want to cut anyone else in on the deal. He'd rather "keep it in the family", which would make sense if Kevin were an actual family member, and not just the step-father of a frizzheaded little kid Dylan doesn't know for sure he's really related to. Kevin likes the sound of cutting the investors out and says that maybe when they're up and running, they can reconsider involving them. Dylan promises to break the news to Papa Walsh.


CU carnival. Donna tells David she's all stressed about how she should address Babyface: Mr. Babyface? Kenneth? Your Royal R&B Highness? Ariel suddenly rushes over to tell David that there's a sound check emergency: Babyface's second keyboardist has pulled a no-show! Egads! Ariel drags David away from Donna and introduces him to Babyface, who proceeds to ask him if he knows how to play keyboard. Instead of admitting that he's completely devoid of any and all musical talent, David goes over to the keyboard and starts playing...and after a few minutes he really gets into it and starts thrusting his pelvis. Babyface looks impressed and sings along, and Donna looks on proudly while the extras who are standing around start bopping to the beat. After the song, Babyface asks David if he's familiar enough with his material to play for him during tonight's concert, and David says yes then excitedly hugs Ariel. Donna notices and immediately looks pissed off. An oblivious Steve asks her who the saucy vixen drooling all over David is, and Donna gives him a dirty look, tells him to go to hell, and stomps off. Steve grins to himself and rhetorically asks, "Jealous?!" Um, yeah.


Washington, D.C. Brandon and Kelly are leisurely strolling around, sightseeing and taking photos. Brandon tells Kelly how much he admires the presidency...then somehow the conversation turns to Dylan. Kelly tells Brandon that she and her slouchy ex-beau have split up for good, then wonders if the two of them should risk a perfectly good friendship by hitting the sheets. She calls their situation "scary", but at the same time she can't deny her romantic feelings for him.


Hospital. Jesse wheels Ahn-drea down the hall, and she starts harping on him to go and study for his exams instead of spending every waking moment with her. He tells her it wouldn't do any good, since he can't concentrate on anything - and suddenly they hear a nurse yell that there's a code (blue?) emergency, and a bunch of nurses and doctors rush into the NICU to resuscitate one of the infants. Ahn-drea and Jesse anxiously peer through the window, and are relieved that Hannah isn't the source of the emergency. Jesse realizes that this is the first time he's said her name out loud...and he tears up and says he doesn't want to lose her, and the two cry and hug.


The Walsh house. Brenda and Mama Walsh drag Brenda's old trunk into the kitchen from the garage. Mama Walsh gushes about how proud she is of her for being willing to travel and take risks...unlike herself, who just sits at home with her boring, balding husband and never goes anywhere or does anything. Brenda tells her that spending a summer in London is no big deal, but Mama Walsh insists that it is a big deal and gives her a hug. Dylan arrives to talk to Papa Walsh about cutting the investors out of Kevin's faux start-up, and tells him that he and Kevin have decided to fund the project themselves. Papa Walsh gets angry, calls it a "harebrained scheme", and asks why Kevin didn't come along to explain this ill-advised decision. He snidely calls Dylan "the millionaire message boy" and blames him for this professional embarrassment. He tries to explain to Dylan that he has no idea how the game is played...and that he doesn't have relationships with banks, letters of credit, or contingency plans - all to no avail. Dylan snarks that it's his money, so a fed up Papa Walsh fires him as his client and tells him he can do whatever he wants with his stupid money. Dylan snaps, "It's about time!" and storms out.


CU carnival. John tells Celeste he wants to go another round with Steve over the gladiator mud pit, and Celeste just rolls her eyes and tells him she has zero interest in watching them. After she wanders off, John runs into Steve, who accuses him of using Celeste to get back at him...and John sleazily retorts that he's only dating Celeste 'cause she's so good in the sack. This enrages Steve and he agrees to another gladiator fight. The two agree that if John loses, he has to stay away from Celeste...and if Steve loses, he has to give up his membership in the fraternity.


Celeste runs into Donna and Brenda and tells them that John and Steve are going at it over the mud pit again. Donna and Brenda ask her how well she really knows John Sears, and Celeste tells them she's only been dating him for a couple of weeks...so the two decide to fill her in on what a slimy douchenozzle he really is. Meanwhile, over at the mud pit, John and Steve have been sparring for a full ten minutes. Celeste suddenly asks Donna and Brenda if they're shy, and they form a huddle so she can reveal her revenge plot. A few seconds later, Celeste calls out, "Hey John!" and when John looks over at her, the three girls rip open their tops and flash their bra-encased breasts. John looks momentarily hypnotized by the sight of their hooters, and Steve uses the opportunity to shove him into the mud pit. As John writhes around, coated with mud, Steve and Celeste stare at each other and look contemplative.


Babyface is performing for the crowd, and everyone looks into the music and is dancing. David's at the keyboard and also appears to be functioning as a backup singer, which I found oddly hilarious. As Ariel watches this spectacle, she drools over David (yes really), while Donna and Brenda enthusiastically applaud.


Washington, D.C. Brandon and Kelly are enjoying post-coitus afterglow in his hotel bed - which I found a tad disturbing, since these two have always seemed more like brother and sister than lovuhs. Kelly tells him that Ahn-drea's the only person who knows she's in D.C., and Brandon predicts that a lot of people will be gossiping about them once their hook-up goes public. She tells him she likes being in his world and wants to stay there, so he invites her to attend tomorrow's ceremony (or whatever) when he meets the president. He suddenly realizes she'll need to get security clearance to be in the vicinity of the president, so he picks up the phone and asks the chancellor if they can "get it done" - and apparently they can! Kelly gazes at him, tells him she adores him, and the two start going at it again. 


CU carnival. Donna and Brenda are rushing around the carnival grounds in search of David. One of the guys in the band tells them he saw David hanging with Ariel and thinks they're either in the dressing room or in a limo. Neither sounds like a promising place to not find David cheating on Donna. Brenda offers to check the dressing room and tells Donna to check the limo, so Donna scampers off toward the parking lot. She runs into two limo drivers and asks them if they've seen David and Ariel, and they nod and point at a limo across the street. She wanders over to the limo and knocks on the window...and inside we see that David and Ariel are doinking in the back seat!! When they realize that Donna's outside, they panic and struggle to put their clothes back on. David, who's still shirtless, opens his window a crack, and Donna scrunches her face in confusion and asks him what he's doing in there. He tries to look chill and replies, "Just hanging out in a limo." LOL. Donna then tries to open the door, but it's locked, so David closes the window and opens the door. Donna climbs inside and sees a sheepish looking, barely clothed Ariel...but it's only when she notices the used condom wrapper on the floor that her tiny brain is finally able to put two and two together. She exclaims, "Oh my God!" and immediately ejects herself out of the limo, then blurts out, "Oh my God!" again while running across the parking lot. David makes a half-hearted attempt to stop her, but she continues to flee in horror.


The Walsh house. Donna cries on Brenda's shoulder, tearfully reminding her that she and Kelly had chided her for being jealous, and that she had nothing to worry about. She wails: 1) about why David would do this to her (for sex), 2) that she thought the two of them being virgins would cement their bond forever, and 3) that nothing can ever be the same now, because he'll always want what she can't/won't give him (well, d'yuh). Brenda assures her that she's beautiful and smart, and that there are a lot of guys out there for her, and Donna thanks her and calls her her best friend. Brenda promises to always be there for her, but Donna points out that she's jetting off to England, never to return again. Brenda doesn't really address her imminent departure and hands Donna her favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Pony of the Meeting Mr. Pony episode, and the two exchange I love yous.


Hospital. During a visit to the NICU, a nurse tells Ahn-drea and Jesse that Hannah gained another ounce. Yay! Ahn-drea talks to her baby encouragingly, and the nurse says she's a very strong little girl. Ahn-drea then pulls out an elaborate name tag to attach to the baby's incubator; it reads "Hannah Zuckerman Vasquez". Oy.


The Walsh house. Mama and Papa Walsh and Brenda are in the living room, watching news coverage of the task force convention in D.C. and hoping to catch a glimpse of Brandon. At the Peach Pit, everyone there is watching the news coverage as well...and Nat babbles something about how he may never have a son, but Brandon will do just fine. Steve suddenly notices Kelly sitting in the audience and tells everyone he thinks he just saw her on TV. Dylan looks doubtful and says he can't imagine what Kelly would be doing in D.C. Gee, I wonder. Back at the Walsh house, Mama and Papa Walsh are thrilled as they watch Brandon shake Clinton's hand...and it's a really long, awkward looking shake with a faux Bill Clinton body double. Brenda glances over at her giddy parents and studies their reaction with a contemplative look on her face.


Bank. Dylan and Kevin sign the papers that will release funds from Dylan's account, and the banker informs them that the transfer is underway. Kevin declares to Dylan that they're officially partners, and the two share a man hug. They walk out to the parking lot together, and after Dylan takes off in his Porsche, Kevin walks over to a car where Suzanne has been secretly waiting. He tells her, "It's done" and the two discuss what they need to do next: pack up their stuff, deal with Erica, and "make a little withdrawal".


Beach house. David makes a weak attempt to apologize to Donna for doinking Ariel in the limo, but she just snaps at him to pack his stuff and leave her alone. He must really want out of this relationship for good, because he insists on explaining that he tried very hard to stay faithful...but when Ariel put it right in front of him, he couldn't say no. LOL. Donna snarls that he'll just have to live with that, and he says he's sorry. She gives him a hostile, beady eyed stare and asks him if the doink in the limo was his first time...and he looks sheepish and admits it wasn't, though it was his first time with Ariel. Who was his first doink with, I wonder? Nikki Witt? Some random off-camera girl? Donna screams at him to get out and never come back, and he's only too happy to get the hell out of there.


LAX. Kevin and Suzanne tell Erica that they're flying to Brazil to set up Kevin's new research lab, but Erica just complains that she didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Dylan. Suzanne fake promises her they'll call Dylan once they get to Brazil. Erica says she has to use the bathroom, and once she's inside the stall she gets out a pen and paper from her bag and writes a letter to Dylan, and includes his address. Suzanne, meanwhile, tells Kevin that Erica doesn't have a clue about what's really going on...and recounts to him that it took her eight months to set up this scam. Kevin's a little twitchier than usual about stealing Dylan's fortune, but Suzanne just tells him to chillax and thank her for making him a rich man. Inside the bathroom stall, Erica has finished writing her note and uses gum to stick it on the wall...but a few minutes later, the gum loses its stickiness and the note falls to the floor.


Dylan's house. Nat calls Dylan and asks him if he has any idea why Suzanne didn't show up for her shift, but this doesn't raise any red flags for Dylan and he's just like, "Duh. I dunno." Brenda arrives and tells him about how Mama and Papa Walsh watched Brandon as he met the president and had admiration shining from their eyes...and she looks a little sad when she remarks that they've never looked at her like that. No duh. Why would they? Why would anyone? She tells Dylan that she wants it - it being a successful career as an actress, which is why she's going to London. Dylan says he understands and that he believes in her, and she declares her love for him and says she's never stopped loving him and never will. She adds that she won't be gone forever, which sorta made me wonder if, during the filming of the finale, Shannen Doherty didn't fully realize she'd never again be welcomed back on the set of Beverly Hills, 90210. She tells Dylan that while she's in London she wants something to come back to, and by something she means one last romp in the sack. Dylan complies, and the two start gettin' it on.


And that's a wrap for The Brenda Years. Yay!

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