Recap: Steve is wheeling Ahn-drea and her two broken legs down a hallway at West Beverly High. As they pass the principal's office, they notice that the police are still hanging around, investigating the computer break-in. Steve asks if they're ever going to give up, and Ahn-drea tells him she's pretty sure the cops are never going to figure out who broke into the computer system...just like they're never going to catch the hit-and-run driver who mowed her down with his car two episodes ago [and failed to finish her off]. She also tells Steve she's having serious doubts that the legacy key was a factor in the break-in since all of the school's locks were changed a few months ago. Steve looks relieved and slyly remarks, "Oh well. Easy come easy go, right?"
In another hall, Brenda tells Donna how concerned she is about Dylan, who no one's heard from in three days. Incidentally, Brenda's eyebrows are starting to look really over-tweezed in this episode...and if memory serves, they only get more tweezed from here on in. Donna remarks that Dylan seemed ready to explode right before he left, and Brenda laments that whenever he gets this ultra-moody, his first impulse is always to go straight for the bottle. Donna invites Brenda to attend David's music showcase that evening to help get her mind off of her troubles. Brenda bitchily asks if Kelly is going, and Donna wearily tells her that both she and Kelly are acting very juvenile toward each other. But Brenda insists that if Kelly is going to the showcase, then wild horses wouldn't be able to drag her there. And speaking of wild horses...
Dylan and his defective Porsche are stranded in the middle of nowhere. Off in the distance, a woman with really long blonde hair is riding a pretty white horse. Eventually, she approaches Dylan and compliments his car, so he compliments her horse and explains that his car broke down. He asks her if there's a phone nearby, and she tells him there's one back at the ranch...and then huskily introduces herself as Anne. She's reasonably attractive and looks to be somewhere in her thirties, so it is inevitable that their mutual attraction will soon degenerate into an awkward May-December hookup. Anne urges Dylan to "climb on up" the horse with her, so he does.
West Beverly High. Steve smugly tells Herbert that the police are getting nowhere with their investigation regarding the break-in, so it looks like they're home free. Herbert thinks it's weird that the cops are still hanging around the school, but Steve brushes it off as a harmless "dog and pony show". Soon after, Steve runs into Brandon, who informs him that Ahn-drea no longer thinks the legacy key was a factor in the break-in. He sheepishly apologizes to Steve for accusing him of accepting the key, and Steve jokes about him not grovelling hard enough. Nikki comes by and gives Brandon a from-behind hug, and Steve asks her when she's going to dump this bum and get a real man. She retorts with a crack about if Mel Gibson is available, which is blechy but ironic, since in the early '90s no one could have foreseen what a self-destructive douchetard Mel Gibson would turn out to be.
David appears in the hall, and Nikki tells him that both she and Brandon will be in attendance at his showcase that evening. Brandon warns him not to choke, which is funny 'cause it kind of foreshadows the embarrassing musical disaster that is yet to occur. David spots Steve a few feet away and storms over to tell him that when he called the promoters of the showcase to find out what time he should be there for his sound check, they were like, "We've never heard of you, dude." Steve assures him that everything is under control, and that he's booked under "Sanders Management Team". As soon as he and David part ways, Steve makes a beeline over to the nearest pay phone and calls the promoters. He tells them he needs to book one of his acts for the showcase that evening and is willing to pay whatever it costs to make that happen. While he's on the phone, he catches sight of Hutch talking to someone who looks like he works in the cafeteria. Both of the men glance over at Steve and look very suspicious.
Ranch. Dylan is inside Anne's spacious ranch house, calling a local mechanic about getting his Porsche fixed...and unfortunately for Dylan, it's going to take until the following day. After he hangs up, he asks Anne if there's someplace nearby he could stay, and she tells him there's a motel down the road, but then coquettishly invites him to stay in her guest house. He tells her he doesn't want to trouble her, but she just stares hungrily at him and assures him it's no problem. He accepts her invitation.
Showcase. Donna, Kelly, Brandon, and Nikki are seated at a table together. Nikki looks around the club and remarks that a lot of heavyweights in the music biz are there and that it's a real industry crowd. Donna dreamily tells everyone that David is probably very excited about his big chance - and then the camera cuts to David ranting at Steve for booking him in the first slot of the night. He's pissed off that he won't have a chance to do a sound check, but Steve just tells him to be grateful that he got the opportunity to perform at all. LOL, right? David then looks out onto the stage and complains that his equipment isn't even set up right. Back at the table, Brandon checks his watch and whines that the showcase is already thirty minutes late. Kelly asks him if he's heard from Dylan, and he tells her he hasn't. She says she's worried about him, and Brandon agrees that he's also worried...but is equally as worried about her friendship with Brenda, which appears to be disintegrating. Kelly brusquely tells him that she and Brenda have agreed that hell will have to freeze over before they'll ever be willing to talk to each other again.
The showcase's host introduces "David Silver and the Commotions" ... and it's unclear where or when David picked up these extra band mates. He starts singing the rap lite song he performed at the Pigskin Prom in the Home and Away episode...but about fifteen seconds into it, the mic starts making high pitched noises and everyone's ears start to hurt. Haha!
Ranch. Anne serves coffee to Dylan in her fancy schmancy living room. He asks her if she lives at the ranch by herself, and she murmurs that she's unmarried. He then asks her if she ever gets lonely out here, and she just says she likes the quiet. When she asks Dylan how old he is, he gives her an evasive "Why?" and she cackles and quips, "Two points for the guy with the borrowed car." I guess she doesn't believe that Dylan really owns his Porsche. Dylan asks her what her take on him is, so she describes him as "Misunderstood, unappreciated, a little bored, a little angry." She forgot to add that he's obviously a narcissist for asking a total stranger what her take on him is. Anne adds that it's obvious he doesn't like being told what to do, and that he seeks freedom. Dylan seems pleased by her accurate assessment of his annoying moodiness and compliments her ability to "read" him.
Showcase. The only good thing Kelly can say about David's grisly performance is that he looked good, but I'd argue that even that's debatable. Brandon isn't sure what he should say to David when he joins them at their table, so Donna tells him just to be honest, since honesty is probably what David would appreciate the most. As David and Steve approach the table, David rails about how he's never going to forgive Steve for this screw-up...and Steve gets all defensive and says it's not his fault they scheduled him to take the stage first. Donna ignores her own advice and lies to her boyfriend about how great his song was - LOL - and everyone at the table pretends to agree. David, however, knows how badly his performance sucked and tells them all to cut the shit. Steve tells him he's overreacting, and David summarily fires him as his business manager. It's about bloody time.
The next band to be introduced is "Diesel Stone and the Waste Management" from San Francisco. Nikki looks stunned, and David discreetly snitches to Brandon that he thinks she used to date the keytarist. Diesel is played by David Arquette, which I thought was a strange casting choice since he's way too dorkish to convincingly portray a brooding rock star type. On stage, Diesel looks stinky and unkempt in his chest-bearing leather vest, disheveled hair, and ten day old stubble...and as he plays his keytar, he stares straight at a transfixed Nikki with his bloodshot eyes. After the band finishes their performance, Nikki heads straight over to her slovenly ex, while Brandon awkwardly toddles behind her. Diesel looks happy to see her and says he thought she fell off the planet. She gushes about how much she loves his new song, and he tells her he wrote it for her. He then informs her that he and his band mates are going to be hanging out at "this dump" later and that he'd like her to hang with them too. Sounds like a tempting offer. She tells him she can't hang with him tonight, but maybe the next day. He says he's only going to be in L.A. for one night, which proves to be a big lie but then he turns out to be a big liar in general. Nikki calls him by his real name, Dennis, and he laughs and says that if anyone hears her call him that it could ruin his image. He pleads with her to hang with him, but she argues that it's a school night and that she has a boyfriend. She invites Brandon to approach, and Diesel scoffs at the sight of his preppy clothes and perfectly coiffed hair and labels him The Beave. Haha! Brandon ignores the insult and compliments his keytarring and says his band was the best one out there. Diesel shrugs and says that it was like amateur night, and then mocks what a joke the "Vanilla Ice rip-off" was, and that he couldn't even get his mic to work. Haha! Brandon instantly gets pissed off and informs Diesel that the Vanilla Ice wannabe is a close friend of theirs, then stalks off with Nikki dutifully following him. Brandon gives her a look of disdain and asks her how she ever could have dated such an arrogant loser, and Nikki insists that Diesel isn't a loser...he's just really competitive. A competitive loser. Brandon doesn't care and tells her he just wants to leave, so then Nikki perks up and tells him that Diesel invited them (more just her) to an after-party in a run-down house. Brandon reminds her that they have plans to meet the gang at the Peach Pit, and Nikki rolls her eyes and complains about how they always go to the Peach Pit. Brandon tells her that David really needs the support of his friends after stinking it up so badly on stage, and Nikki sighs and wearily says, "Fine." Her attitude annoys Brandon, and he tells her that if she wants to hang out with "Weasel", then she should. Nikki irritably corrects his deliberate mispronunciation of Diesel's name, and Brandon retorts that he doesn't give a rat's ass what the loser's name is...and asks her who she's going to be with tonight: him or Diesel/Weasel. Nikki looks conflicted and explains to Brandon that her ex is only going to be in town for one night, and Brandon exclaims, "Fine!" and storms off. Nikki urgently calls after him, but he continues walking.
The Walsh house. The next morning, Brandon vents to Brenda about Nikki and how dazzled she was by her bedraggled ex-beau, and that he walked out on her because he didn't want to hang around for the privilege of being humiliated. Brenda isn't terribly sympathetic and tells him he should have just put in a brief appearance at the house party instead of making such a big deal out of it - but Brandon disagrees and says he hates the whole rock star/groupie scene. Brenda accuses him of being petty and judgmental and strongly advises him to call Nikki and apologize for walking out on her. Brandon mulls that over for a few seconds and decides it's a good idea. Unfortunately, this advice backfires when he discovers that Nikki didn't come home last night, and that she lied to her aunt about spending the night at Donna's house. Brenda has no retort and looks suitably sheepish.
Ranch. Dylan and Anne chat about her horses, and she tells him she'd like him to ride her favorite, Shadowcaster. Dylan seems suspicious about her motives, so she explains that horses get bored if the same person rides them all the time...and as she tells him this, she's eying him suggestively. Ew.
West Beverly High. David is abusing his position as the school's DJ to broadcast a personal message of thanks to his friends for their support in attending his showcase, then publicly chastises Steve for his ineptitude as a business manager. I highly doubt most of the students at West Beverly would give a crap. Donna and Kelly stroll down the hall as they listen to David's bitter rantings...and they pass Brandon and Brenda, and Brenda and Kelly coldly ignore each other. This distresses Donna, who tells Kelly that their behavior is getting ridiculous. Kelly just gets huffy and blames Brenda for being the one who drove Dylan away.
Steve marches purposefully toward the DJ booth. He tries to get inside, but the door is locked and David refuses to open it for him. Steve is furious with David for humiliating him in front of the entire school, but at that moment Hutch appears and motions that the two of them need to talk. Steve heads over to the maintenance office and snarks at Hutch for continuing to blackmail him, but Hutch snarks back that he's not rich enough to buy his way out of this situation. Confused, Steve tells him he thought the police had no clues, so Hutch tells him about how the police have been grilling him for hours on end about the break-in. He's supposed to go through another interrogation the next day, but he's too rattled to endure any more, so he's planning on singing like a canary and throwing Steve to the wolves. Steve argues that he paid him a lot of cash to keep quiet, but Hutch retorts that money can't buy everything.
Nikki spots Brandon in the hall and tells him she wants to talk to him about what happened the previous night. He tells her there's not much to say, calls her a groupie, and stalks off. Nikki runs after him and explains that when she got to the run-down party house, everyone was partying hard...and so she had a few shots and passed out on the bathroom floor. I really don't see how this is helping her cause. He gives her a cold stare and asks her if she "made it" with Diesel/Weasel, so she assures him that he (Brandon) is her boyfriend. Brandon whines about how he felt invisible when she ran over to Diesel/Weasel during the showcase, then calls him a loser and questions what she could ever have seen in the guy. Nikki gets tearful and says that whenever she gets around him, he has "this thing" over her. This explanation doesn't compute with Brandon, and he tells her he can't deal with it...and as he walks away she cries after him that she's sorry.
Ranch. Dylan and Anne are horse-back riding together, and soon they take a break and sit beside a lovely stream. Dylan, who's wearing his white wife-beater shirt, chides her for being so evasive whenever he asks her anything about herself. She offers up a few details about her sordid past, like how she got thrown out of boarding school for sleeping with the headmaster - gross - and then got married off by her rich parents to a rich man. She leans toward Dylan and sort of nuzzles his neck, and he asks her what she wants from him. She tells him she'd like him to stay on at the ranch and work with Shadowcaster. She'll pay him whatever he thinks is fair...but other than that, there will be no strings and no pressure. Dylan tells her he's tempted, and the two start kissing intensely as Dylan mounts her.
West Beverly High. Nikki apologizes to Donna for not making an appearance at the Peach Pit to comfort David after he bombed during the showcase, then explains that she hadn't seen Diesel/Weasel since she left San Francisco. Donna is understanding, but remarks how suicidal David was after his disastrous performance. Suddenly, Diesel/Weasel pulls up beside them in a convertible. He's come by to announce to Nikki that his band scored a record deal. Donna stares over at him like he's something she just scraped off her shoe, while Nikki looks totally dazzled. He tells her there's a celebration in progress and that he needs his "sweet little inspiration" by his side. Nikki tries to explain that she can't just leave school in the middle of the day...plus she has a history test that afternoon. Diesel/Weasel's smile instantly vanishes and he gets all Ike Turner when he bitchily suggests that maybe she didn't hear him tell her that he drove straight over to her school to give her his good news after signing the record deal. Nikki looks uneasy and attempts to placate him by promising to stop by the party house immediately after school. Diesel/Weasel tells Donna to excuse them for a second, then yanks Nikki by the arm and pulls her away. He asks her what the hell is wrong with her - and that now that he's finally gotten his big break, all she can talk about is history tests. He orders her to get into his car, but she resists. Brandon suddenly appears and asks if everything is all right. Diesel/Weasel barks at him to get lost, and Nikki irritably assures him she's fine and can handle the situation. She allows Diesel/Weasel to steer her toward his car, then smells liquor on his breath and asks him if he's been drinking. He doesn't answer, shoves her into the front seat and gets in after her, then squeals off. Brandon uselessly stares after the car, his face scrunched concernedly.
Brandon strolls down the hall with Brenda. He's pontificating about how they've both been spurned by their friends and lovers as though they were in an Elizabethan tragedy. Brenda starts bellyaching about how her relationship with Dylan went sour, but Brandon abruptly stops her and says they weren't done talking about his issues. Hee! Brenda indulges him and suggests that maybe Nikki was lying about being passed out the other night. Brandon thinks this over and decides that it's definitely possible...and then both agree that, at the very least, they're happy to have each other. Brandon heads off to class just as Donna and Kelly make an appearance. Brenda says helloto Donna, but as usual ignores Kelly. Donna then says hello to Kelly on Brenda's behalf, and Kelly reminds Donna that they're going to be late for their art class.
Ranch. Dylan is working on the engine of his bum car when a ranch hand walks by and asks him how he liked riding Shadowcaster. Dylan says it was fine, and the ranch hand tells him that the horse is worth a lot...a lot more than his Porsche, in fact. Um, OK. Anne comes walking over and informs Dylan that she invited some neighbors over for dinner that evening. She'd like him to join them, and gently suggests putting on a clean shirt. Dylan jokes about coming to the table in his grease-stained clothes, and Anne pretends that that wouldn't bother her and says, "Suit yourself." He quickly relents and tells her he'll wear whatever she'd like him to, so Anne pretends to be all breezy when she tells him it's no big deal either way.
West Beverly High. Steve tells Herbert that they have a situation, and suggests that it would be best if he - hemeaning Herbert - accept full blame for the computer break-in. Steve reasons that it would be easier for a freshman to take the fall, since a senior (like Steve, for example) might face expulsion. He emphasizes to Herbert how important it is for him to help him out of this mess, and Herbert tells Steve that he's a disgusting human being who thinks he can just use people and buy himself out of everything. Rhetorically, he asks Steve how he can stand to be him, and then storms off.
Ranch. Anne's dinner guests turn out to be a really weird couple. The husband is a total douchebag and talks about his distaste for servants who don't work hard enough but still expect to be paid. He then tells Anne how much he likes Shadowcaster and offers her $600,000 for the horse. Anne makes it clear that her cherished horse is not for sale, so he gets a very intense, creepy look on his face and reiterates how much he wants the horse...and offers $700,000. Anne turns to a bored Dylan and asks him for advice on what she should do, and he tells her he thought the horse wasn't for sale. The husband glares at him and barks, "Everything is for sale, kid." He then turns to Anne and offers her $1 million cash for the horse. Dylan irritably tells Anne not to do it, but she ignores him and starts negotiating with the douchebag. They settle on $1.3 million, and Dylan looks totally icked out by the transaction he just witnessed. Douchebag smugly repeats to Dylan that everything is for sale.
Peach Pit. Brenda and Donna are hanging near the counter when Kelly enters the diner. Once again, Brenda and Kelly shun each other, and it causes Donna to finally snap. She tells them how much it sucks being caught in the middle, and that their hostility toward each other is making her life miserable. She starts in on Brenda and reminds her that after she broke up with Dylan, she'd claimed it was fine with her if he started dating someone else. Kelly gets all self righteous and thanks her for making that point, but then Donna snarls at her to get off her high horse 'cause she should have known better than to start dating Dylan without getting Brenda's approval first. As if that would have ever happened. Donna orders the two of them to talk it out, and flounces out of the diner with David in tow. Kelly and Brenda just stare at each other mutely, and after a few awkward seconds, Kelly turns and leaves. Brandon appears and tells Brenda he's newly concerned about Nikki, who hasn't arrived home from school yet. Her aunt just told him that Nikki's parents have been trying to her to warn her that Diesel/Weasel is in L.A. As it turns out, he has a predilection for beating up girls. Shocker.
Run-down party house. Nikki is sitting alone on a couch when Diesel/Weasel bursts through the front door with a frizzy-haired floozy. Nikki angrily asks where he's been, and he tells her he was out getting a pack of smokes. Nikki exclaims that that was over two hours ago, and tells him that the rest of the band went out to get something to eat. When he says that she should have gone out with them, she tells him she wasn't hungry. Diesel/Weasel introduces his floozy as Amy, and Nikki tells him she'd like to talk to him in private. He sends Amy to wait for him in another room, and Nikki demands to know who she is. This annoys Diesel/Weasel, and he starts ranting that he doesn't know how to deal with her when she gets on a "possessive trip"...and cracks open a beer. Fed up, Nikki snaps, "Then don't deal with it!" and heads toward the door. Diesel/Weasel grabs her by the arms and explains that a filthy lowlife such as himself can't be expected to be faithful to one woman. Gross. Nikki complains that he's hurting her, and when she screams at him to let go of her, he gives her a really fake looking backhanded smack across the face.
Fortunately, Brandon has just arrived to the rescue. He parks in front of the nasty looking house and knocks on the door. Diesel/Weasel answers and immediately tells him to get lost, but Nikki urgently calls out for help. She begs him to take her home, but Diesel/Weasel refuses to allow her to leave. Brandon insists that he's taking Nikki with him, and Diesel/Weasel caves and calls her jailbait. Brandon glares at with him with a look of complete distaste and asks him if he ever slaps guys around. Diesel/Weasel takes this as a challenge and eggs on Brandon to take him on. Brandon invites him to take his best shot, so Diesel/Weasel drunkenly swings at his head, and Brandon ducks and punches him in the face and knocks him to the floor. Nikki cries out to Brandon and begs him to get her out of this hell-hole, so they leave Diesel/Weasel to roll around on the disgusting floor and moan in pain.
The Walsh house. Nikki is all bruised up, sitting at the kitchen counter as Brandon prepares some ice for her swollen cheek. In a shaky voice, she explains that Diesel/Weasel is the main reason she left San Francisco, and that he was the main reason she wasn't getting along with her parents. Her eyes light up when she tells Brandon how great a guy Diesel/Weasel is when he's into his music and not drinking - but then stops herself from making any more excuses for the slovenly loser. Brandon asks her why she'd ever want to spend time with a moron like that, and she tells him she thought she didn't deserve any better...that is, until she met him (Brandon)...and he smiles proudly. Mama Walsh tip-toes into the kitchen and looks at Nikki in her usual concerned, motherly fashion. She asks her if there's anything she can do, but Nikki assures her she's fine, and that her aunt will be along to pick her up any minute. After Mama Walsh slips out of the room, Nikki remarks to Brandon that being at the Walsh house reminds her how much she misses her family. She tells him that she's going home next week for Thanksgiving, and Brandon tells her that when she returns he'll still be her boyfriend.
The doorbell rings, and Mama and Papa Walsh open it to find Kelly on their doorstep. Hesitantly, she asks if Brenda is home, and they give her an affirmative and invite her in. Just as Kelly enters Brenda's room, Brenda is on the phone, trying to reach her. She smiles at Kelly and tells David that he doesn't need to leave a message for Kelly after all. The two apologize to each other at the exact same time, and then gush about how much they've missed their friendship. With that settled, Brenda asks Kelly if she's heard from Dylan, and Kelly tells her she hasn't.
Ranch. Dylan is packed and ready to go. He's disillusioned with Anne for selling her beloved horse to her douchey neighbor...but she doesn't get why he's all mopey about it and tells him it was just a game, which she won. Dylan argues that selling her horse wasn't a game, and says she doesn't appear to need any more money. He then reveals that he too is the recipient of a trust fund, but that he has no desire to end up like her in twenty years...pathetic and alone. She gets mad and accuses him of bullshitting about having a trust fund, so he lectures her about how people should need commitment and strings in life, otherwise they're just dead inside. He then wishes her well, urges her to take care of herself and gives her a goodbye kiss before climbing into his Porsche. As he speeds away, Anne is left standing alone...then sadly looks on as her horse is being taken away to endure its new life of horror with its creepy new owner.
West Beverly High. Kelly and Brenda are friends once more, and Kelly compliments Donna on her skills as a therapist. Steve saunters over to tell David that he has great news. He hands him a list of the top ten managers in the music business who have all received David's demo tape. He tells David he has real talent and deserves the best. Kelly suspiciously asks him how much he's charging for a finder's fee, and Steve gets all offended...and needlessly confesses that he once told some random guy that she was sexy in bed. He says he hopes she'll one day be able to forgive him for being so douchey and indiscreet. He then spots Brandon and slinks over in order to apologize about lying about taking the legacy key. He tells Brandon he'd understand if he never wanted to speak to him again, then says he's planning to go to the principal's office so he can confess the whole thing to Mrs. Teasley. Brandon easily forgives him for his duplicitous douchebaggery, and then Steve heads over to his second last stop on the Apology Tour: The Blaze newsroom.
Steve admits to Ahn-drea that he was the person behind the computer break-in, but Ahn-drea is mostly miffed 'cause she thought he was just being nice to her to get inside information about the police investigation. Steve tells her he never needed a reason to be nice to her, which is such total bullcack.
Principal's office. Mrs. Teasley tells Steve she's very disappointed in him, and that the break-in is a serious matter. She also points out that he's way too inept to know how to access the school's computer system all by himself, so she suspects that someone must have helped him. But Steve staunchly refuses to give up Herbert and takes the full blame...as he should, since it was his stupid idea to break into the grade bank in the first place. Mrs. Teasley tells him he's in serious trouble and that she's going to be recommending expulsion. In a dramatic conclusion to the episode, she somberly declares that, as of right now, Steve is no longer a student at West Beverly High. Steve stares back at her with an expression of total devastation.
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