Recap: Brenda and Donna are strolling down the hall together at West Beverly High, chatting about how someone tried to break into the school's computer system and alter the grade bank. Brenda, who's wearing a bustier top that's probably too risque for a day at school, instructs Donna to ask her to do something with her that evening. Donna dutifully takes the bait, and Brenda smugly tells her that she's busy because she has a date with Dean Cain. Donna's surprised, but mostly dismayed that Brenda is so eager to jump into a relationship with Dean Cain so soon after her breakup with Dylan.
David barks at Steve for not securing a time slot for him in some upcoming Battle of the Bands. Steve assures him that the wheels are in motion, but David is skeptical and bitchily warns him not to blow this. Yeesh. For someone with such limited musical talent, he's really turning into a diva. Meanwhile, Herbert is nervously lurking in a nearby stairwell and calls out to Steve. When Steve saunters over to his cohort in crime, Herbert tells him he's now kicking himself for letting Steve convince him that breaking into the school's computer system was a good idea. Steve orders him to lay low and play dumb, but Herbert is very rattled and anxiously informs Steve that computer tampering is a felony. They could both wind up in jail. The two idiots look in the direction of the principal's office, where Mrs. Teasley is talking to two police investigators. Steve assures Herbert that no one's getting caught because no one's going to talk.
Outside, Brandon runs into Dylan and hands him a stack of articles he found at the public library about some kid who was accused of cheating on his SAT last spring. Dylan is impressed with Brandon's efforts to help him, and mentions that Mrs. Teasley wrote a convincing letter to the SAT people on his behalf. He snarks that Mrs. Teasley understands his reasons for refusing to retake the test...unlike his bitchy ex-girlfriend. Brandon asks if he and Brenda actually broke up over an argument about the SAT, and Dylan stares off into the distance and catches sight of Kelly ambling toward the school and says, "It's a little more complicated than that." After the two part ways, Dylan rushes over to Kelly and asks her how she's doing. She glances around nervously and tells him she feels paranoid about being seen in public with him. He points out that he's single now, so they no longer have to hide their budding romance. He then invites her to go out with him to the observatory that evening. Kelly wants to tell Brenda about their imminent hook-up and says that she sort of feels like she needs Brenda's permission to go out with him. Dylan explains that honesty isn't necessarily the best policy when your ex-girlfriend is a schizo, and that the only person she needs permission from to go out with him is herself. He gives her a quick kiss and rushes off to class.
The Blaze newsroom. Ahn-drea is back at school after the hit and run, wheeling around the newsroom with her two broken legs. Brandon enters and sees her struggling with the chair. He asks her if she needs anything, and she starts in on one of her rambley rants about how cumbersome it is to get around in a wheelchair, and how he'd better believe she's going to write a story in The Blaze about how horribly the physically challenged are treated in this country. First things first, however. She wants to start probing the details of the computer break-in, because if they're somehow able to crack the case before the cops do, it could be an award winning story. Brandon tells her it's impossible to get any details about it; he's already asked Mrs. Teasley about the break-in, and she has nothing to say on the matter. Ahn-drea stares at him in incredulity and barks, "And you let that stop you?"
Steve furrows his brows when he sees Ahn-drea talking to Mrs. Teasley, and then remarks to Brandon how weird it is to see her confined to a wheelchair. Brandon tells him not to waste time worrying about Ahn-drea, since it's likely she's going to crack The Case of the Computer Break-in before the police do. Steve goes pale and tenses up when he notices that Ahn-drea is now chatting it up with the two police officers. After her conversation, she wheels over to Brandon and Steve and tells them that all of the deleted grades - most of which were Steve's Ds and Fs - have been restored. She then tells them in confidence that the case is still open, and that the cops are going to keep at it until they make an arrest. Steve looks uneasy when he sees that Hutch has just entered the principal's office to talk to the cops. Hutch glances over at Steve and smirks knowingly.
Brenda boasts to Kelly and Donna about her date with Dean Cain that evening, and describes him as a sweet college man who happens to be gorgeous and completely crazy about her. She's also thrilled that he doesn't brood all the time...like a certain slouchy ex-boyfriend. Donna asks her if she'd mind it if Dylan went out with other girls, but Brenda says he's free to date whoever he wishes. Kelly visibly perks up at this declaration.
It's night time when Steve enters the school and heads straight to the maintenance office to see Hutch. He demands to know why he's been summoned. Hutch mocks Steve for pretending to be a businessman who has no time to waste, and recounts how someone broke into the school the other night and tampered with the computer. Steve tells him he didn't have anything to do with it, and Hutch says while that might be true, the police would still be very interested to learn that four episodes ago, Steve had been caught breaking into the maintenance office to steal the master key. Steve reminds Hutch about how he accepted a bribe to keep quiet, but Hutch just laughs and says that no one's going to believe a self-entitled teenager over an employee with fifteen years of service. Steve pulls out a hundred dollar bill, and Hutch takes it and gleefully tells him they're back in business.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh answers a phone call from Dottie, Papa Walsh's new overeager secretary. Papa Walsh walks in the door at that exact moment, so Mama Walsh hands him the phone. After a quick conversation with Dottie, he explains to his wife that Dottie had finally been able to reach a client he had been playing phone tag with all day. Mama Walsh asks whassup with Dottie, and he explains that she's a temp who's bending over backwards to make a good impression, and that she's the best secretary ever. The doorbell rings, and Brandon answers it to find Dean Cain standing on his doorstep clutching a bouquet of flowers. Brandon invites him in and bellows to his sister that her date has arrived. Dean Cain is then introduced to Mama and Papa Walsh. He chats with them about how he moved to California because of the top notch business/economics department at UCLA, and naturally this impresses Papa Walsh. When Dean Cain realizes that Papa Walsh is the Jim Walsh who recently penned an article on tax shelters, he gets all verklempt about what an honor it is to meet him. Papa Walsh appears equally smitten with the young lad, and stares after him longingly when he and Brenda head out the door to go on their date. He blushes as he tells Mama Walsh that he thinks the two make a great couple.
Observatory. Dylan and Kelly are in the observatory's theater, watching a 360 degree presentation about the galaxy. They chat about how they haven't been to the observatory since elementary school, and that the ten year old boy she had sat next to all those years ago didn't have the stones to try and kiss her. Saucily, she asks Dylan if he has the stones to make a move on her, so he leans toward her and the two kiss under the fake stars.
The Peach Pit. Brenda and Dean Cain are seated at the counter. Dean Cain glances around happily and tells Brenda how much he loves the diner, and that it's "our place". Brenda flinches, and explains to the dimwit that the Peach Pit can't be their place, since her brother works there and all of her friends hang out there. Dean Cain's face falls, and he asks her if she's embarrassed to be there with him. She assures him she's not, and then he stupidly asks her if she's nervous about running into her ex-boyfriend. Brenda goes awkwardly silent, and Dean Cain tries to recover by breezily remarking that's it's all good because she's going to marry him, have his five children, and spend the rest of her life loving him. Yikes. Brenda looks icked out by all that future procreation and rhetorically asks, "How many children?" Suddenly, Donna and David make an appearance. They say hi to Brenda and Dean Cain, but then just stand there mutely as the four stare uncomfortably at each other. Donna finally announces that she and David are going to walk over to the jukebox, and Dean Cain agrees with Brenda that they should probably go elsewhere.
Observatory. Dylan and Kelly are hanging out on a large terrace that overlooks the city lights. Dylan pontificates about how humbling it is to look at the stars and the lighted city below, because it makes all of his insignificant problems seem even more insignificant. Kelly looks mournful and asks, "You know what stinks?" and then answers her own question when she says that when a person (such as herself) screws up a few times, everybody thinks that's who you are, and all you'll ever be...even when you try to do the right thing. Cryptically she asks Dylan if it's worth it, and Dylan cryptically responds that it's all worth it, otherwise they wouldn't be here right now. The two then kiss intensely. She moans his name and tells him they should take it slow, and he jokes that they've known each other since kindergarten and can't possibly take it any slower. But Kelly begs to differ and announces that she's starving. The two kiss one more time and head out for a bite to eat.
The Peach Pit. Steve enters the diner with Ahn-drea. Nat is happy to see her and tells her anything she orders will be on the house. Steve advises Ahn-drea that if she wants to get some leads on the driver who injured her, she should offer a reward...and then offers to put up the cash for her. She thanks him and thinks that maybe it could work. She informs him that the police are offering a reward of $250 for any information regarding the school's computer break-in. Steve goes ashen and blurts out what a terrible idea that is, since kids are likely to say anything to get their hands on some free cash. Ahn-drea mulls that over and says he could be right. She tells him that the cop in charge of the computer investigation told her that the case is getting really cold and that they have no leads...but Ahn-drea feels that he's being far too pessimistic. She doesn't believe there was an actual break-in, since the crime was obviously perpetrated by someone who had a set of keys...or maybe hid inside the school and waited until after everyone left. Abruptly she changes the subject and asks Steve who his freshman buddy is, and Steve tells her the dork's name is Herbert. Ahn-drea points toward the diner's entrance and informs him that he just walked in. An anxious looking Herbert rushes right over to Steve, who subtly motions to Ahn-drea and tells him that they'll talk later. Herbert quickly gets the hint and abruptly leaves their table. Steve tells Ahn-drea that Herbert is acting so jittery and weird because he's desperate for a girlfriend.
The Walsh house. The phone rings, and it's Dottie calling. Again. Papa Walsh, who's already in his bathrobe, takes the call. Dottie excitedly tells him that she just finished typing up some legal documents and they're ready for him to sign. Papa Walsh briefly interrupts the call to tell his wife he may have to go back to the office to sign some papers, but Mama Walsh tells him it's past his bedtime and asks if Dottie could bring the papers to the house instead. Papa Walsh asks Dottie if she can stop by on her way home, and naturally she can. When Papa Walsh hangs up, he marvels about what an amazing secretary she is. Brandon wryly remarks that it sounds like she has no life.
Restaurant. Dylan scarfs down a rich chocolate dessert while Kelly watches. He offers her a bite, but she declines 'cause it would exceed her calorie allotment for the day. A minute later she relents and asks for a "teensy weensy bite". I've noticed that Kelly often slips into the habit of baby-talk whenever she gets cozy with Dylan. He puts a tiny piece of cake on his fork, and she eats it, savors the chocolate taste, then asks for another bite. He coquettishly tells her she can have it all, and by all I'm pretty sure he's referring to his penis. The waiter comes by with the check, and Dylan promptly pays it. As he and Kelly banter, he tells her how beautiful she is, and how he wishes that the other people in the restaurant weren't there. To demonstrate what he'd do if they were alone, he leans across the table and the two share several sexy kisses. In a raspy voice, he asks her if she wants to spend the night at his place...and she's definitely into it, so the two get up and simultaneously kiss and walk. But just as they approach the restaurant's exit, they run right into Brenda and Dean Cain...and the encounter is awesome! Brenda stares at Dylan and Kelly in shock and croaks, "Oh my God." Kelly looks stricken at being caught so brazenly red-handed, and is at a complete loss for words to explain herself. But that's OK, 'cause Brenda starts ranting about how she can't believe that Kelly would do this to her. Kelly weakly reminds her that she said Dylan could go out with whomever he wants, and Brenda retorts, "And you said you were my best friend. What a joke." Dylan tells Brenda to give it a rest and points out that she was the one who broke up with him. Brenda glares back at him with an expression so scary I thought her face was going to melt off...and she snaps that if he's trying to make her jealous, it won't work. He's definitely not trying to do that, but if he were, it's obvious by her reaction that it would totally work. She demands to know how long this has been going on, and Dylan shrugs and cheekily replies, "Since about 6:30pm." Brenda re-directs her catty venom toward Kelly and says that dating Dylan is probably not going to help her shake her bimbo image. The remark infuriates Kelly - but just as she opens her mouth to retort, stupid Dean Cain interjects. He points out how much history there is between the three of them, and says that [Brenda] spewing hurtful comments [at Kelly] isn't going to accomplish anything. He then takes a moment to introduce himself to Dylan, and the two shake hands...before Dylan needlessly snarks that he heard what a great tour guide he is. Brenda tearfully asks Dean Cain if they can leave now, but he wants them all to stay and talk this thing out. He earnestly tells them they've known each other for too long to blow off their friendship this way. Kelly, meanwhile, has been using the last minute and a half to formulate a suitable retort to the bimbo remark, but the best she can manage is, "I'm not a bimbo, OK?" LOL. Brenda gets the better of her a second time when she replies, "Whatever you say, Kelly. But I was always taught that if it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck..." Lemme guess...it'll quack like a duck? Kelly snarls at her to go to hell and storms out of the restaurant. Dylan follows her out and glares at Brenda as he saunters past.
The Walsh house. Dottie has arrived with the legal documents. Mama Walsh answers the door and is instantly dismayed by the sight of the young, hot brunette and her smokin' body. Papa Walsh races down the stairs and shoves his frumpy wife out of the way so he can properly greet his attractive secretary. Brandon enters the scene to check her out and clearly likes what he sees. He tells her she looks like Cindy Crawford...which she doesn't really, though she's still very pretty. Dottie laughs off the flattery and gets Papa Walsh to sign the papers, and then reminds him about all of his appointments for the following day...and after that, she lays it on thick about what a dream come true it is to work with someone she so deeply respects and admires. Mama Walsh takes all of this in with a gritted smile. After Dottie leaves, Papa Walsh carries on about how incredible she is...and Mama Walsh cattily says that "incredible" is one word to describe the woman, then stalks into the living room to sulk. Papa Walsh follows her to see whassup, and Mama Walsh tells him it's so obvious that Dottie has the hots for him. Brandon overhears this, and laughs at the absurdity of so hot a babe finding his dorky, middle aged father appealing. Mama Walsh accuses her husband of encouraging Dottie's crush, as was evidenced when he changed out of his bathrobe and then doused himself with aftershave just before her impromptu arrival. Papa Walsh accuses her of being a jealous wife, a charge she vehemently denies. He then assures her that when he's at the office, his mind is 100% on his work. Sort of.
The Walsh doorstep. Dean Cain drops off a traumatized Brenda. She tells him how shocked she is by the betrayal of her two best friends. Dean Cain encourages her to move on, forget the past, and accept that relationships that were once important may not work anymore. Brenda wryly tells him he sounds just like her father, and Dean Cain assures her that her father is a very smart man. He then stares at her with a creepy intensity and vows that he'll make her forget Dylan McKay.
Dylan's house. Kelly is having a very bad reaction to the ugly scene that just went down at the restaurant. She rails at Dylan for not agreeing to tell Brenda that the two of them are now dating...plus she's still reeling over the bimbo remark. Dylan, on the other hand, is pretty OK with the messy way everything unfolded...but mostly he's happy that Kelly's there right now, because he's really in the mood to hit the sheets with her and put The Brenda Years firmly behind him. He makes a move to kiss Kelly, but she's not into it anymore and starts griping about the way Dylan had pointed out to Brenda that she was the one to break up with him. She wonders if she's with Dylan because Brenda isn't. Hmm...probably, since Dylan never had the stones to make the first move in breaking up with Brenda. Dylan, of course, denies this, and reminds her about the incredible summer they shared just a few short months ago. Kelly just gets all flustered, tells him there's no way he can convince her that she's not a rebound, and leaves his house in a huff.
West Beverly High. Ahn-drea tells Brandon that she thinks the computer break-in was part of some larger conspiracy. She asks him if he's ever heard of a legacy key, a question which startles Brandon. She explains that her pretend long-distance boyfriend Jay told her about an unconfirmed rumor regarding a master key that unlocks every door at West Beverly. Allegedly, kids have been using it for years to change their grades and steal tests. Her rambling gets intense when she likens the legacy key to the Billionaire Boys Club (BBC), which is a completely ridiculous comparison, not least because the BBC operated as a multimillion dollar Ponzi scheme that resulted in murder. Brandon fails to point this out, but then he's thinking about how Steve is the likeliest culprit...and if he committed the break-in, he's really screwed.
Brandon quickly locates Steve in the outdoor corridor and asks him if he accepted the legacy key. Steve tries to play dumb, but Brandon tells him that Ahn-drea knows all about the key, and that it's only a matter of time before she figures out who might be desperate enough to break into the school's grade bank. He reminds Steve that Ahn-drea has nothing better to do than pretend she's an investigative reporter, and that it's her job to crack cases. Steve pretends like he had nothing to do with the break-in, so Brandon presents the following circumstantial evidence that has already mounted against Steve: he was recently offered the legacy key, he bombed on his SAT, and his grades suck. Steve angrily insists that there's a line in the sand and he didn't cross it. Brandon then challenges him to turn in the person who offered him the legacy key, but Steve just stares back at him and says nothing.
Principal's office. Dylan arrives for a private meeting with Mrs. Teasley. She gives him the bad news that the school board denied his appeal regarding the SAT cheating allegation. Apparently there wasn't enough evidence to support his case. She tells him he can battle it out in court, but there are no guarantees that he'll win. Dylan immediately gets moody and pissed off, ranting about how this entire situation is sorry. He then slams the door as he storms out. I really don't know why he doesn't just retake the damn thing.
Kelly takes a turn down a hallway and runs right into Brenda, who shoots her the stink-eye and then stalks over to her locker. Kelly girds her loins and bravely approaches Brenda. She tries to explain that she had wanted to come clean with her about the Dylan Situation, but Dylan held her back 'cause he thought it would only hurt her feelings. Brenda retorts that it's pathetic how Kelly sneaked around behind her back for the purpose of protecting her feelings, and Kelly throws Brenda's words back at her about how tired she was of dating someone who brooded all the time. Brenda needlessly speculates that Kelly and Dylan probably slept together after arguing in the restaurant. Donna walks by, notices them fighting and asks what's going on, but the two completely ignore her. Kelly decides to throw all caution to the wind and starts mocking Dean Cain for being a big, sweet, boring stud, and Brenda snidely retorts that at least she wasn't second choice. Meow! Dylan suddenly appears in the hall, freshly angry about the whole SAT thing. He slouchily strides past Brenda and Kelly without saying a word to either of them. When Brenda barks out his name, he continues walking, and in his annoying 'world weary' manner declares that he just wants to be anywhere but here.
Papa Walsh's office. Dottie is going over Papa Walsh's itinerary with him for the following day. She's wearing a tight, cleavage bearing top that would probably be completely inappropriate in any real life accounting firm. Papa Walsh signs her time-card and thanks her for putting in so much overtime. Dottie wanks him some more by gushing about how being his secretary is the best job in the whole wide world...and gives him a heads-up that the employment agency will soon be calling to ask if he'd like to hire her on a permanent basis. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she starts acting like a sex kitten and purrs about how she can't get him out of her mind. She unzips the side of her tight leather skirt and climbs across his desk, moaning about how happy her life will be when he offers her a permanent, full-time position. The camera then cuts to Papa Walsh staring hungrily into space as Dottie tries to snap him out of his reverie. She tells him she'll warn the employment agency to hold off calling him so he doesn't feel pressured, and he gets all flustered and tells her it's not necessary and accidentally blurts out that he'll sleep with her - but quickly corrects himself with, "I'll sleep on it." Still looking hot, horny, and bothered, he dials his home number to tell Mama Walsh that he's on his way.
Kelly's/David's house. David remarks to Kelly that it was a pretty ugly scene between her and Brenda in the hall, and Kelly starts whining about how she can't win. She kept Dylan at arm's length all summer because of her close friendship with Brenda...but now that she's dating him 'cause he's available, Brenda thinks she's a bitch. David half-heartedly mumbles that he doubts Dylan sees her that way, then leaves the room. Kelly picks up the phone and tries to reach Dylan, but his answering machine kicks in. She leaves a message asking him to call her. Dylan, meanwhile, is standing in his living room, staring at the phone as he listens to Kelly's message. He turns around and walks out the door.
The Walsh house. Dean Cain is in the living room, discussing tax shelters and capital gains with Papa Walsh while Brenda sits on the couch beside him, bored out of her gourd. Dean Cain notices her lack of interest in their conversation and apologizes for neglecting her, but explains how thrilled he is to be talking to a top financial expert like Jim Walsh. A besotted Papa Walsh invites his new BFF to drop by his office sometime for a tour, and Dean Cain looks very excited about doing that.
West Beverly High. That evening, Steve is summoned to the maintenance office to be blackmailed further by Hutch. Steve is wearing a skimpy muscle shirt - ew - but thankfully a zippered sweatshirt over it. He's annoyed by Hutch's scheme to extort him out of hundred dollar bills, but pulls out his wallet to pay another installment. To his dismay, Hutch informs him that his hundred dollar bills are no longer going to cut it.
The Walsh house. After singing/bonding with Papa Walsh, Dean Cain returns to the living room and apologizes to Brenda about spending so much time hanging with his future father-in-law. Brenda is sitting on the couch, looking lonely, sad, and thoughtful. Dean Cain kisses her, but she turns her face away. He asks her if she's mad at him, and she assures him she's not. She then gives him the "you're a nice guy, but" speech, and tells him it's not going to work out. He's shocked and asks why, so she tells him she doesn't think they have anything in common. Looking totally crestfallen, he asks her about fate...and their kismet. Brenda tells him that she allowed herself to get wrapped up in the romance of it all, but she's not actually ready to jump into another relationship. She chides him for moving way too fast and acting like they're an engaged couple, ready to walk down the aisle together. Solemnly he tells her he never believed in love at first sight until that day he saw her in Paris, and then refers to her as "the one". She says maybe if it were another time...and then starts to cry. Dean Cain looks utterly defeated and starts to ask her a question - but she cuts him off and assures him that her complete disinterest in him has nothing to do with Dylan McKay. He doesn't buy that obvious lie, but kisses her tear-stained cheek and jokes about how crushed Papa Walsh is going to be when he learns about their breakup. She chuckles and promises to break it to him gently. He then tells her not to lose his number, because he's definitely not going to lose hers. He leaves the Walsh house looking very sad. And that's that.
The Peach Pit. Dylan enters the diner and tells Brandon about losing the SAT appeal. He thanks Brandon for standing by him through everything, and informs him that he's taking off for awhile because he needs some time and space from all of the self-inflicted drama in his life. Brandon warns him about his self destructive tendencies, but Dylan points out that the very reason he's leaving is 'cause he doesn't want to start drinking and hustling in seedy pool halls again. Brandon wishes him good luck, and the two shake hands and give each other a quick man hug.
Dylan's house. The phone rings, but Dylan's already long gone. As soon as the answering machine kicks in, a distressed looking Brenda hangs up without leaving a message.