Recap: At the Walsh house, Brenda and Ahn-drea are trying to decide on which scene they're going to perform together for their final drama class assignment. Ahn-drea remarks how obvious it is that their teacher, Young Elvis, likes Brenda...albeit in a teacher's pet kind of way. Brenda is delighted by Ahn-drea's flattering observation and gets giddy and dreamy-eyed as she lists off Young Elvis's attributes. Ahn-drea cautions her not to get too carried away since he's their teacher, but that's not a problem for Brenda because he's not going to be their teacher for much longer. Summer school lets out in a week! Well...yes, but he'll still be an adult man, and it would be illegal (and gross) for him to encourage any sort of romantic relationship between himself and an underage girl. And Brenda and Ahn-drea are both underage...at least that's what we're being told in the Beverly Hills, 90210 universe.
Beverly Hills Beach Club. Kelly and Steve are relaxing on lounge chairs, commiserating about the fact that it's the end of summer. Kelly is complaining about all the back-to-school sales she keeps seeing everywhere, and Steve knows that he must face the reality that his aimless life of volleyball playing leisure is about to come to an end. Brandon comes over to the loungers and excitedly tells Steve that he almost has enough money to buy the '65 Mustang he's had his eye on all summer. Henry then comes by with Brandon's paycheck, which he says should put him "over the top". Brandon peeks at the check and confirms that it will, in fact, put him over the top. Henry feeds off of Brandon's good mood and extols the joys of driving one's dream car. He's a good egg, that Henry. I'm going to miss him when the kids go back to school.
Bookstore. Ahn-drea is standing in front of a bookshelf, and for some reason she's reciting lines out loud with a terrible southern accent. She's interrupted by Young Elvis, who happens to be in the store at the exact same time. He starts acting all flirty and inappropriate toward Ahn-drea, and encourages her to start calling him by his first name. Ahn-drea is overwhelmed by the interaction, and after he walks away she looks happy enough to burst.
The Walsh house. Brandon is gushing about his dream car to his parents, and Papa Walsh suggests that they turn this into a father-son bonding moment and go pick it up together - but Brandon's not really into the idea and tells his dad that he'd prefer to handle this purchase on his own. Papa Walsh is visibly disappointed, but says he understands. Brenda runs into the kitchen, and Mama Walsh relays to her the message that Dylan called for her from Hawaii. She mutters a thank you before quickly rushing out to get to class. Papa Walsh is surprised by her nonchalant attitude toward Dylan and his long distance phone call. I'm guessing that her sudden disinterest in Dylan has everything to do with her new (but futile) fixation on Young Elvis.
West Beverly High. Everyone in the drama class is working in pairs, rehearsing the scene they'll be performing during the final class. Ahn-drea is trying to convince Brenda to perform something from a drama as opposed to a comedy, which is what Brenda would prefer. Brenda finally gives in when Ahn-drea tells her that Young Elvis had suggested that the two of them do a dramatic scene. Minutes later, Brenda struts over to Young Elvis to tell what a good idea it was for him to suggest that she and Ahn-drea perform something dramatic, and he strokes her ego and says that he paired her up with Ahn-drea because he figured she could help the too-tightly-wound brown-noser to loosen up. Brenda blushes nauseatingly and tells him she's flattered...but Young Elvis encourages her to think of herself as talented. What a barf-inducing conversation.
Used car dealership. After a long hard summer of working like a dog at the Beverly Hills Beach Club, Brandon is finally ready to make his big purchase. Unfortunately, the car dealer is a sleazy looking degenerate who doesn't exactly give off vibes of trustworthiness. When Brandon hands over his check, Sleazy gives him the keys and then rubs his hands together and laughs all sinister-like. We then get a lot of footage of Brandon driving along the freeway in his new Mustang convertible, wearing sunglasses and looking slick, super cool, and laid back. But his happiness is abruptly ended at a stoplight on Sunset Blvd. When he hits the gas to proceed through a green light, the engine stalls and smoke starts billowing out from under the hood. Brandon then decides that the best course of action is to not call a tow truck or stay with the vehicle, but rather to abandon the car that is now blocking traffic in the middle of a busy L.A. street and take a cab back to the car dealership to complain. He marches up to Sleazy and barks at him that he wants his money back for the car. It's no surprise that Sleazy refuses to hand the cash back over. He claims that the car was in prime condition when it was sold to him, and that any problems with it are his responsibility now. Sleazy then smarmily suggests that the car could probably use the services of a mechanic. That it could, Sleazy. That it could.
The Walsh house. A shame-faced Brandon now has to admit to Papa Walsh that the engine of the jalopy he spent all of his summer earnings on needs to be completely overhauled. And no, there's no warranty. And since he left it in the middle of traffic after it broke down, he's now going to have to pay an additional $200 in order to have it released from an impound lot. All of this bad news makes Papa Walsh's head look as though it's about to explode. He rebukes Brandon for caring more about how the car looked than how it ran, and then yells at him for throwing away all of his money.
The Peach Pit. Brandon steps into the diner, which is being spruced up with a new paint job, and takes a seat at the counter. His breakfast order is taken by a very crisp and efficient young waitress named Courtney, and a few minutes later Nat comes by to chat. He's happy to see his young ex-employee and tells Brandon that business at the Pit is booming...and that he couldn't be happier with Courtney. Brandon looks dismayed because after losing all of his money, he's going to need his old job back. Young Elvis also enters the diner for breakfast and takes the seat next to Brandon. The two strike up a conversation, and Brandon soon learns that he's the drama teacher at West Beverly, and that he's moving back to Chicago now that the summer semester is over. Brandon tells him that Brenda is his twin sister, and Young Elvis remarks that she's very talented. And underage, Mr. Presley. Don't forget that all of the female students in your drama class are underage.
The Walsh house. Brenda and Ahn-drea are in the living room, working on their dramatic scene for class. Brenda offers Ahn-drea a series of tips to improve her acting abilities, and I'm thrilled to learn that their scene involves Brenda's character slapping Ahn-drea's character. Brandon arrives home and interrupts their rehearsal to tell Brenda that he ran into Young Elvis at the Peach Pit. Apparently, he eats there a lot and had some nice things to say about Brenda...but doesn't get into specifics. As Brandon heads upstairs, Brenda snarks that she's going to pry it out of him once she's finished transforming Ahn-drea into a passable actress.
The Peach Pit. Brenda is seated at a table, keeping an eye out for Young Elvis. Ahn-drea, who also obviously had the same silly idea, enters the diner and looks around. She sees Brenda and goes over to sit with her, uninvited. Within a few minutes they both spot Young Elvis at the counter, and Brenda invites him to join her...well them, since Ahn-drea refuses to take the hint and skedaddle. The three chit-chat about L.A. and Young Elvis remarks that he really hasn't had a chance to see much of the city. Brenda immediately offers to give him a guided tour that afternoon...and he accepts, saying how great it will be to get a tour from two authentic California girls. Brenda's face falls and she goes, "Two?" She's miffed at having to drag along Ahn-drea, a third wheel on her pretend date.
Young Elvis drives a blue pick-up truck and Brenda and Ahn-drea squeeze themselves in the passenger seat of the truck's cab. As they drive around the city, the two girls compete with each other to offer up the most interesting tidbits and anecdotes about the various landmarks and neighborhoods. Ahn-drea is able to one-up Brenda a few times, what with her being such a know-it-all and all. At the end of the drive, Young Elvis compliments their tour guiding and offers to drop them off at their homes. He asks who lives the closest, and Brenda and Ahn-drea simultaneously claim the other does.
The Walsh house. Steve is over, hanging out in Brandon's room. Brandon is grousing about the stupid way he blew all of his money on a car that doesn't even have a functioning engine. Steve can't comprehend why Papa Walsh won't just pay for the car to be released from the impound lot, and Brandon's theory is that his dad takes pleasure in watching him squirm. I don't think Papa Walsh is that cruel at heart, but he sure is being a dick about this whole car thing. Surely he could throw a little money Brandon's way to at least help him get the car back in working order. Brandon also complains about needing his Peach Pit job back, but unfortunately super-waitress Courtney may make that impossible.
Out of nowhere, Brenda storms into Brandon's room to pull the door to their shared bathroom shut. A few seconds later she slams another door. Uh oh - someone has anger management issues, as well as a need for some attention. Brandon goes to Brenda's room to ask whaddup, and she tells him she's so mortified that she can't even bring herself to phone Kelly to discuss the cause of her mortification. My God, this is serious. Brenda is distraught because Young Elvis dropped her off first...before dropping off Ahn-drea Zuckerman. And she says Ahn-drea's name with complete disdain. When Brandon just stares at her blankly, she explains that this is a devastating blow because she likes Young Elvis...as in likeslikes, and today's disappointing ride home is a sign that he might prefer Ahn-drea over her. Brandon looks at his sister like she's a mental patient and proceeds to point out the following:
Thank you, Brandon. These are all good arguments, but you neglected to mention the most glaring obstacle to a romance between Brenda and her drama teacher, which I will now point out in all caps followed by several exclamation points:
IT WOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW FOR A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER TO INITIATE OR PARTICIPATE IN ANY TYPE OF ROMANTIC INTERACTION OR LIAISON WITH ANY OF HIS STUDENTS, AND SUCH BEHAVIOR COULD RESULT IN HIS ARREST!!!
Night has fallen, and Young Elvis's truck is parked in front of Ahn-drea's house. The two are inside the vehicle, chatting away. I guess this means Ahn-drea is no longer concerned about the faculty discovering that she lives out-of-district. She starts prattling in her usual annoying rambley way about the dramatic scene she's planning to perform with Brenda, but Young Elvis cuts her off and says he doesn't want to talk about anything school related right now. He reminds her that tomorrow is the last day of summer school, and edges toward the border of Creepy Town when he says he'd like to take her out for a cup of coffee tomorrow night. Just the two of them. Ahn-drea looks surprised, laughs nervously, and says she'd like that. They say goodnight, and he drives home.
West Beverly High. It's the last drama class, and all the pairs are getting ready to perform their scenes. Ahn-drea is in the hall, dolled up in a cute floral dress, pacing nervously. Brenda enters the school, and Ahn-drea immediately starts babbling at her, moaning about how terrified she is of doing the scene in front of everyone. She then tells Brenda about what a great time she had talking to Young Elvis before he dropped her off last night. He's so great, and he really gets her, unlike all of her contemporaries at West Beverly...which should be a clue that maybe the problem is her. She then confides in Brenda that she has feelings for Young Elvis she didn't even know she had. Jesus. Brenda, being the scorned one, doesn't want to hear about how Ahn-drea moved in on her territory and tersely shuts down the conversation by telling her she wants to go over the scene again.
Brenda and Ahn-drea are now on stage, performing their very dramatic, contentious scene. When they get to the part where Brenda slaps Ahn-drea, she hauls off and gives her an actual smack! Haha! Ahn-drea stares back at her in shock and immediately tears up. Young Elvis and the rest of the class just assume it was part of the show and clap enthusiastically. Brenda stalks off the stage, piss and vinegar radiating from every pore. Ahn-drea runs after her and says that an actual smack is not how they rehearsed the scene. Brenda's inner bitch is out in full force now, and she spitefully accuses Ahn-drea of being a teacher's pet. Ahn-drea gets angry that Brenda is throwing her squishy feelings for Young Elvis in her face, so Brenda raises the stakes of this nasty snipefest even higher and also throws in Ahn-drea's face how tedious it's been all summer to have to listen to her incessant prattling about her feelings for Brandon. Oh, snap! Ahn-drea is so humiliated that she slinks away without much of a retort. That. Was. Awesome!!
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh asks Brenda how her scene in drama class went, and Brenda tells her they got a standing ovation...but adds that she was petty and mean, and a supreme bitch. Yes, yes, and yes. But admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery. The doorbell rings and it's Dylan...back from Hawaii! All of the Walshes are happy to see him, and he hands out Hawaiian leis for everyone. Dylan asks Brandon about the '65 Mustang, and Papa Walsh blurts out how much of an idiot Brandon was for buying the car without even test driving it first. While I strongly feel that Papa Walsh is being relentlessly douchey about this car debacle, I agree that it's pretty stupid not to test drive a car before buying it, especially when it has no warranty.
Later that evening, Mama Walsh gives her husband the what-for about the shitty way he's been treating Brandon. Papa Walsh digs in and whines about how Brandon didn't want to listen to his sage car buying advice, and Mama Walsh snaps at him to get over himself and storms off. Papa Walsh then stares off in the distance, finally looking a little sheepish.
Young Elvis's truck. Young Elvis is regaling Ahn-drea with an amusing story about a past acting gig, and she giggles with delight. He then stares into her eyes and calls her beautiful, and says he likes the way she listens to his stories. Naturally this quality would appeal to an immature, self-centered man who prefers to converse only about himself. And now we reach the moment when Young Elvis crosses the line that separates decent folk from the lurid and unlawful...and kisses Ahn-drea on the lips. Almost immediately, he pulls away and tells her they shouldn't do this. You're right, dumbass. You shouldn't be doing this. But then he reverts right back to behaving inappropriately and tells Ahn-drea that he wants to see her before he leaves L.A...and kisses her once more. Blech.
Peach Pit. Brandon pays the diner another visit. As always, Nat is happy to see him and takes his order. Brandon tells him that it's his last day of work at the beach club, and then brings up Courtney. Once again Nat tells him how happy he is with her, and that he could never let her go because she's the most wonderful and loyal employee of all the employees who have ever worked anywhere. Finally Nat puts Brandon out of his misery and tells him that Courtney is going away to college next week...and that he's hired! Well, re-hired.
Beverly Hills Beach Club. It's the Aloha Party to celebrate - or commiserate about - the end of summer. Brandon is lamenting to Henry about how he blew all of his money on a car that doesn't even run. Kelly pops by to tell Brandon that there's someone who needs to see him in the parking lot. Brandon heads over to the lot and is surprised to see Papa Walsh standing in front of his '65 Mustang. He smiles and tells Brandon that he had the engine rebuilt. He also acknowledges how hard Brandon worked all summer, and felt that he should have something to show for it. Well done, Jim. This totally makes up for you being such a dickwad all episode. Brandon apologizes for screwing things up with the car, and explains to his dad that he wanted to prove he was independent enough to make such a big decision. Papa Walsh admits that what's really been bugging him is that he's been afraid to let Brandon drive again after he totaled Mondale. But he now knows it's time for him to get back into the driver's seat. He hands over the keys, and tells his son to enjoy his car. Kelly and Steve come by and all three get in to take it out for a spin.
Ahn-drea's house. Ahn-drea is wearing a very short skirt for her last date with Young Elvis. When he arrives, she tells him that her entire family is out for the evening. He then gives her the good news that he'll be staying in L.A. after all, now that he's landed a job at a private girls' school. And...oh yeah, his girlfriend will be bringing all of his stuff when she moves down from Chicago. Ahn-drea is taken aback by his mention of a girlfriend and gets angry with him for leading her on. He rationalizes his behavior by telling her that he wanted her to learn and grow, and so he gained her trust by painting a picture of who she wanted him to be, but left out certain pieces. What in the hell is this guy talking about?! This is definitely some strange, nonsensical bullshit he's trying to peddle. Ahn-drea tells him that whatever life lessons he was trying to teach her are overshadowed by the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend. Unfazed, Young Elvis calls Ahn-drea an incredible girl, but points out that she's still in high school...and that he's a teacher, so they just can't do this. He admits that kissing her was unprofessional, and a mistake. And illegal. An upset Ahn-drea doesn't want to hear anymore and asks the lying, cheating Lothario to leave.
Beverly Hills Beach Club. Brandon tries to convince Donna, Kelly, and Steve to join him while he does the hookie lau, the traditional Hawaiian dance...but they're all reluctant. Brenda and Dylan are elsewhere on the beach, cuddling together under a covered lounger and chatting about his trip to Hawaii. He tells about how he dreamed of her while he was away, and she says that their relationship is still confusing to her...and confesses to going after an older guy. She then sums up this weird conversation by telling Dylan that she's happy he's back. Suddenly Ahn-drea appears in their line of vision, looking downcast and mopey as she walks along the beach. Brenda gets up and goes over to talk to her. Ahn-drea is tearful, and explains that she called over at the Walsh house and learned from Mama Walsh that she and Brandon would be at the Aloha party. Brenda apologizes for her supreme bitchiness in drama class and admits to being jealous that she wasn't the object of Young Elvis's affection. Ahn-drea tells her that Young Elvis isn't the kind of person they thought he was, and that he has a girlfriend who's coming to L.A. to live with him. She also wants to make a pact with Brenda that the two of them won't ever let a man get between their friendship again. Um, OK. I've never gotten the impression that the friendship between Ahn-drea and Brenda was solid enough to be making any kind of pact, but whatever. They hug, and Brenda urges Ahn-drea to come dance the hookie lau with her. As the camera pans away, everyone at the party is swaying to the relaxed Hawaiian music.
And that's a wrap for summer at the Beverly Hills Beach Club.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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