Beverly Hills, 90210 - Season 2, Episode 20

"Please no...I don't want to
die of 'roid rage."

"A Competitive Edge"
Original airdate: 1/23/1992

Episode summary: Brandon quits his job as sports editor of The Blaze to join the track team...but when he discovers that some of the athletes are taking steroids, he pretends to be an undercover journalist and rats them out.

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Recap: It's the first day of practice for West Beverly High's track team. We get a lot of footage of athletes, including Steve, practicing various track and field events. Across the field, Brandon is interviewing Coach Chapman for the latest sports update he's writing for The Blaze. The coach optimistically predicts that this year's track team will "go all the way"...but when Brandon points out that he said the same exact thing about the football team before they stunk it up on the field all season, Chapman dials down the bullshit and discreetly tells Brandon that the relay team is in need of serious help. When Brandon tells him he used to be on the track team in Minnesota, Chapman encourages him to try out. After the interview is concluded, Steve scurries over to Brandon to ask if Coach Chapman happened to mention anything about him or his relay performance. When Brandon suddenly gets all evasive, Steve correctly guesses that Coach Chapman is unimpressed with his sucky relay running. Steve then looks across the track and notices Kelly and Donna talking to Kyle - of the Summer Storm episode. He immediately gets jealous and wonders aloud what Kelly sees in the little runt. It's too bad Steve doesn't realize that Kyle is nothing more than Kelly's favorite gay.

Kyle invites Kelly and Donna to work out with him while he's training for the track team, but neither has an interest in breaking any kind of sweat. After he and Kelly engage in some friendly banter for a few minutes, he runs off to continue his training. Donna tells Kelly she thinks Kyle is very cute, and she's surprised that the two of them never became a hot campus couple. Kelly keeps mum about Kyle's sexual orientation - since it's obvious he's still in the closet - and tells Donna that she and Kyle are just good friends.


Walsh family car. Brenda is driving erratically while Mama Walsh, who's riding along in the passenger seat, clings onto the door handle for dear life. Brenda recounts for her petrified mother how it took her a zillion tries to pass her driving test, and bitches about how Brandon won't let her drive his car and teases her about her horrible driving skills. Mama Walsh half-heartedly agrees to admonish Brandon for his teasing...however totally justified it may be. She then has to remind Brenda to make the next turn because it's the street their house is on.


West Beverly High. Brandon enters the boys' locker room and is immediately surrounded by a bunch of jocks who are annoyed with him because of the disparaging way he's been writing about them in The Blaze. They all start chanting, "Wed-gie! Wed-gie!" ... and he laughingly tries to invoke freedom of the press, but it doesn't sway the jocks from wanting to hang him on the wall by his underwear. Steve then enters the locker room...and Brandon, who's far too jovial considering he's surrounded by a bunch of guys who want to put their meaty hands on his skivvies, begs him for help. Steve muscles his way toward Brandon, but only to join the jocks in their demand for a wedgie. As they start to close in on him, Coach Chapman enters the locker room and orders everyone to shower and go home. This interruption grants Brandon a reprieve, even though his underwear did get a little bunged up between his butt cheeks during the attempted wedgie attack.


The Blaze newsroom. Brandon informs Ahn-drea that he made the relay team. She's pleased and likes the fact that he can now write the sports page as an insider. Brandon, however, thinks this would be an unethical conflict of interest and starts griping about his busy schedule and how he no longer has time to write for the paper. Ahn-drea tells him she understands, and gives him her blessing to quit the paper, even though her blessing was unnecessary and completely irrelevant. She then announces that maybe she'll take over as the sports page editor. Oh joy.


The Walsh house. Brenda tells her parents that she should be allowed to drive Brandon's car whenever he's not using it. Before Papa Walsh can open his mouth to reply, she exclaims, "Great!" and tells him they'll announce this unanimous decision to Brandon as soon as he gets home. After Brenda skips out of the room, Papa Walsh remarks that it's actually a reasonable request, but Mama Walsh makes a face and tells him he should take a drive with Brenda before he actually agrees to anything. A few minutes later, Brandon arrives home through the kitchen door, and Brenda suddenly reappears in the kitchen. She lets him know that she, Mama and Papa Walsh agree that she should be permitted to drive his car whenever he's not using it. To everyone's surprise, Brandon just shrugs and says, "OK." He tells her he's fine with it as long as: a) she pays for the inevitable repairs, and b) he never has to take his life in his hands by riding in the passenger seat while she's behind the wheel. Brenda shrieks and excitedly scampers upstairs to call Dylan with the news. Mama Walsh looks concernedly at Brandon and asks him if he's feeling alright.


Boys' locker room. Steve is irritated that Brandon has taken his position on the relay team. Kyle inadvertently rubs salt in the wound when he walks by and compliments Brandon on his athleticism and remarks that the relay team has never looked better. Dylan then enters the locker room, and Steve, who's become very paranoid during the last couple of days, is worried that he too wants to try out - but, fortunately for him, Dylan is way too chill and slouchy to get involved in organized sports. As it happens, he only stopped by to admonish Brandon for allowing Brenda to drive his car, since he fears this will be a slippery slope to him being convinced to allow her to drive his Porsche. Brandon defends his sister, claiming that she's not that bad of a driver. Words he will soon choke on.


Brenda is driving Brandon's Mustang, and David and Donna are riding along as passengers. At a stop light, David leans forward from the back seat to change the radio station, and this immediately prompts an inane argument between him and Donna. After a minute or two, It looks like Brenda hits the gas pedal to proceed through the light, and rear-ends the car in front of her. She starts freaking out, and the driver of the other car gets out to survey the damage. Brenda apologizes profusely to the woman and admits that it was all her fault. She suggests exchanging information for the insurance claim, but the woman tells her it's not necessary since there's barely any damage. But she agrees to exchange phone numbers with Brenda, just in case either of them "wind up in traction". Brenda ignores this gigantic red flag and returns to the Mustang in search of a pen.


Brandon, Steve, and the other jocks are working out in the weight room. A beefy kid named Burke teases Brandon for being a scrawny tyke, so Brandon rejoins by joking that he should start taking anabolic steroids so he can beef up and look more like Burke. The weight room goes silent, and Burke and another jock named Tony Miller - who, incidentally, is the muscle-head who takes Brenda to the prom in Season 3 - stare coldly at him. That wasn't suspicious at all, guys. Coach Chapman suddenly breaks the tension when he enters the weight room to remind everyone that it's time for practice. As the guys file out, Tony storms over to Steve and demands to know if they're being set up. Steve looks totally confused, and Burke informs Tony that Steve isn't "part of the program"...yet, anyway. Burke then lectures Steve about how winning is the most important thing in sports, particularly when scholarships are at stake. After the football team's terrible showing last season, the dumbest of the jocks formed "the power pact", and from what I can tell, it currently includes Burke, Tony, and Kyle. When Steve points out the various health hazards associated with taking steroids, Burke dismissively tells him that it's totally fine because they're using it in a very controlled way. Tony chimes in and insists that they're not going to get hurt. They then tempt Steve into joining the power pact...and this barely takes any effort on their part, particularly after Steve declares he'll pretty much try anything once. The jocks are pleased that Steve is down with "the program", but they're worried that Brandon will find out and blow the whistle on them. That said, Burke opens a bottle filled with steroid pills and passes them out to the "power pact". Steve takes one and stares at it worriedly.


The Walsh house. Brenda is sitting at the kitchen table with Donna, wrestling with her conscience about whether or not she should keep quiet about the accident. Donna advises her not to say anything to Brandon 'cause if she comes clean about the fender bender, he probably won't ever let her drive his car again. No...probably not. Brandon arrives home in a pleasant mood and makes a snide joke about how surprised he is that his car is in one piece. Brenda sort of attempts to tell him about the accident - but when he keeps cutting her off, she gives up.


The Peach Pit. Kelly has just finished her dessert and is about to pay the check and go home. Steve enters the diner and makes a beeline over to her table. He invites her to stay while he eats, but she can't 'cause she's getting up at 6:00am the next day to run with Kyle. Steve gets all pissy jealous again and accuses her of "doing it" with Kyle, and this angers Kelly. She tells him she's once again reminded of how big of a douchebag he is and why she broke up with him. After she flounces off, Brandon comes over and apologizes for taking his position on the relay team, but then dismissively tells him it doesn't matter anyway 'cause no one from West Beverly High is capable of making the state finals. He then starts whining about how none of the jocks seem to like him, particularly when he makes steroid jokes. Steve immediately gets serious and tells Brandon that he should never ever joke about taking steroids because it's "serious business". But then he backpedals and claims that when steroids are used in a limited way, they're a fantastic way to give athletes a competitive edge. Brandon snaps back that that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard Steve say, which is a pretty bold statement. Brandon lectures him on the health risks associated with taking steroids, and the best Steve can come back with is that Brandon's a know-it-all...and it's no wonder the other jocks don't like him.


Later that night, Ahn-drea surreptitiously knocks on the Peach Pit door and is let in by Brandon. It looks like he called her and asked her to come over. Ugh. He tells her that he has a strong hunch that some of the jocks on the track team are using steroids, and she grins and asks him if this means he's back on the paper. It does, sadly, but Brandon is still wrestling with his ethical concerns about doing any secret reporting on his fellow jocks. Ahn-drea empathizes with his struggling conscience, and tells him that she experienced the very same thing when she had to go undercover for the "cafeteria food thing". Wait - what? Ahn-drea went undercover in the cafeteria of the school she attends every day, where everyone knows she's the editor of The Blaze, so she could blow the whistle on a lunch food scandal? Bwahaha! I have so many questions about Ahn-drea's pretend undercover work, but unfortunately the scene ends with no further details.


Outdoor track. Kelly is running around the track with Kyle. He likes her company and the fact that he can be his true, gay self around her. Too bad he's not a series regular, 'cause there probably would have been a storyline about him coming out of the closet by now.


Boys' locker room. Burke asks Steve if he happened to talk to Brandon about "the power pact". Steve hasn't - well, not in so many words - and he says that while Brandon's probably not going to start popping steroid pills anytime soon, it's doubtful he'd rat them out. Burke wisely remains distrustful of Brandon and warns Steve to keep his mouth shut about the 'roids.


The weight room. Brandon is bench pressing, but he's barely able to lift the weights six times. He loudly laments being such a weakling, and remarks to no one in particular how much he wants to get strong fast and asks if anyone can recommend something to boost his performance. Subtle, Brandon. Burke proves to be at least smart enough to realize what Brandon's up to and condescendingly advises him to eat right right, get lots of rest, and drink a gallon of Geritol. He also tells him there are no shortcuts, and that if Brandon's writing an article for The Blaze about performance enhancement, he can quote him on that. Haha...nicely played, Burke.


The Walsh house. The phone rings, and it's the woman Brenda rear-ended earlier. She wants to talk to "Brenda Walsh's father" about how she's suffering from a serious case of whiplash after their accident. When he gets off the phone, he sternly admonishes Brenda for not telling him about the accident...and Brenda tearfully apologizes. The phone suddenly rings again, but this time it's for Brandon. From his end of the conversation, it sounds like a very mysterious call. Minutes later, Brandon leaves for a secret meeting at a secret location.


Turns out the mystery caller is Kyle, and their secret meeting location is the school's outdoor track. He tells Brandon he's been thinking about his lame attempt in the weight room earlier to obtain a performance boost, and asks him if he's serious about wanting to get involved with steroids. Brandon says he is, but Kyle isn't fooled and tells Brandon he knows he's full of shit, and that it's obvious he's only trying to squeeze out information for a Blaze article. Brandon is somehow surprised that Kyle was able to figure that out, which made me laugh really hard 'cause anyone with even minimal brain activity would be onto Brandon. Kyle tells him that a lot of the guys in the Athletic Department are taking steroids, and that it's getting out of control...but he doesn't want to name names because he's worried that they'll pummel him to death in a fit of 'roid rage. Brandon agrees to protect his anonymity in the article.


West Beverly High. Brenda tells Donna that Papa Walsh found out about the accident and has decided that she shouldn't drive again until hell has frozen over. Good call, Jim.


In a different hallway, Steve apologizes to Brandon for acting like such a douchenozzle at the Peach Pit the other day. He longs for things to get back to the way they were before they got all competitive with each other. Brandon accepts his apology and tells him he'll see him at the gym.


The Blaze newsroom. Ahn-drea is reading Brandon's story on steroid use, and she's stunned by the pressure this anonymous source feels in wanting to be accepted by the other jocks. Brandon tells her that he's now having second thoughts about running the article, which dismays Ahn-drea 'cause they're about to meet with Coach Chapman to discuss the article and get a quote from him. Brandon is worried that he'll be responsible for certain people (e.g. Steve) getting busted for taking steroids, so Ahn-drea offers to be the main contact person for the story from now on. Brandon agrees, and Ahn-drea lovingly caresses his hand and tells him that whatever he wants is OK with her. Blech.


The weight room. Brandon gives Steve the courtesy of a heads up that The Blaze will be running a story about steroid use in the Athletic Department. He advises Steve to discard any pills if he has them, and Steve looks worried. Beefy Burke just glares at the two of them.


Coach Chapman is addressing the track team with Ahn-drea standing beside him. He's angry to hear about the alleged steroid use and tells them if he had the resources, they'd all be peeing in little plastic cups right now. He also declares that until the steroid users come forward, all practices will be cancelled...the entire track season be damned. Nooo! He then stalks off, and the team slowly disperses. Tony and Burke assume that Steve was the anonymous source who ratted them out, but he denies it. Tony ominously warns him to tell Brandon to watch his back or he just may get another wedgie he wasn't expecting.


Brenda and Dylan show up at the house of the woman who Brenda rear-ended. She answers the door wearing a neck brace, introduces herself as Rosemary, and invites them in. Brenda reiterates how awful she feels about the accident, so Rosemary asks her how much influence she has with her father regarding the pending lawsuit. Brenda's all "Wha-at"? so Rosemary explains that she was fully willing to resolve the matter privately, but when she phoned Papa Walsh to try to extort money out of him, he refused and insisted on filing a claim through his insurance company. Rosemary tells Brenda that this leaves her with no choice but to...and then pauses to recover from a fake muscle spasm so we never actually hear what she's threatening. A freaked out Brenda assures Rosemary that she'll talk to her father about making sure she gets compensated for her pretend pain and suffering.


The Walsh house. An exasperated Papa Walsh barks at Brenda for standing up for Rosemary, a woman who's threatening them with a lawsuit. Brenda barks back that they should pay Rosemary what they owe her...which really translates to Papa Walsh paying a lot of cash for her stupidity. He calmly tries to explain to his imbecile daughter how insurance companies work, and implores her to understand that she doesn't have the experience or basic intelligence level to understand how things in the world work.


In the kitchen, Dylan and Mama Walsh are drinking coffee and wisely staying out of the line of fire. Brandon appears on his way to the Peach Pit, and when Dylan asks him how the track team is going, Brandon tells him it's not at all what he expected.


The Peach Pit. When Brandon arrives, he runs into Kelly as she's headed home with a stack of pies for her mom. When he enters the back room, he encounters Steve, who's getting increasingly concerned that the 'roid using jocks are going to kick his face in. Brandon assures him he didn't mean to start acting like a reporter once he made the track team, but when he noticed that things weren't right and started asking questions, he found out more than he thought he would. Steve confesses to starting a cycle of steroids, but then stopped because of the health risks. But he now wants to prove to the jocks that he wasn't the guy who blabbed and asks Brandon to order Ahn-drea, who's pliable because she's so in love with him, to write an article that clears his name. Brandon tells him he can't do this because it might compromise the identity of his anonymous source. This upsets Steve, and he shoves Brandon against a giant fridge and then storms out. As Brandon recovers from the assault, he glances over at the doorway and sees Kelly standing there with her pies. She's shocked by the violent scene she just witnessed, and mumbles something about accidentally picking up the wrong pies.


West Beverly High. Kelly shows up at the track the next morning to talk to Kyle. She asks him about all the steroid rumors, and tells him that she's worried about Steve getting thrashed by the jocks because they suspect him of spilling the beans to Brandon. She wants Kyle to do what he can to clear Steve's name, and he agrees to help.


Kyle's at his locker when he notices Steve talking to Ahn-drea about The Blaze article. He tells her that the way the article is written implies that he's the source. Burke and some of the other jocks suddenly appear at Kyle's locker, and Burke hits him up for his Spanish homework. They all walk to class together, laughing jovially. Oh, it feels good to belong - even when belonging means hanging out with a band of idiots who think it's sensible to take steroids so they can perform well on a high school track team.


Brenda tells Dylan that she wants to go see Rosemary again. For what purpose, I'm not sure. Dylan reminds her that Papa Walsh will blow a gasket if she visits the woman again, but Brenda reminds him that she was the one who caused her neck pain...which apparently means she's now obligated to keep dropping by so she can monitor her healing progress. Dylan tells her that he doesn't care if she goes, but he doesn't want to accompany her there anymore.


The conversation between Steve and Ahn-drea is getting heated. He yells at her for refusing to print his statement, and then rants to Dylan about how Brandon and Ahn-drea aren't his friends anymore. He also claims that there's a witch hunt to find the steroid users. At the mention of steroids, Dylan's only remark is that they can shrink a guy's gonads. That they can, Dylan. That they can. He also points out that Brandon isn't a 'witch hunt' type of guy, but rather someone who's always there for his friends.


Rosemary's house. Brenda rings the doorbell, but when there's no answer, she walks over to the window and peers inside. She's shocked to see Rosemary in the middle of an aerobic workout in front of the TV. At that moment, Rosemary happens to turn around and sees Brenda looking at her. Haha! Busted! 


The Walsh house. Papa Walsh is on the phone with his insurance agent, telling him that Rosemary is a giant faker 'cause Brenda saw her aerobicizing through the window. After some investigating, the agent apparently discovered that she's a scam artist who has claimed fourteen accidents in the past three years. Once she even backed into a car so she could initiate a phony claim. Brenda perks up at this information and decides that if Rosemary backed into her, maybe she's not a bad driver after all! Well...no. One thing doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other. Brenda, of course, ignores all signs pointing to her still being a shitty driver and gets excited about getting behind the wheel again.


The weight room. Tony bursts in to tell the guys that Coach Chapman has cancelled practice again, then tells Burke he doesn't think this is just going to blow over. The two muscle-heads sidle up to Steve in the locker room and invite him to take a walk with them. Once they get him outside, they tell him he should take the fall for the "power pact". He needs to confess his steroid use to the coach, and tell him that he was the only athlete who's been using the drug. Steve refuses, and they start roughing him up. Brandon comes upon the scene...as does Kyle, and he yells at Burke to leave Steve alone. Kyle then blurts out that he was the anonymous source in Brandon's Blaze article. Apparently he can't keep living a lie...even though he continues to live a lie as a closeted gay person.


The Peach Pit. Brandon is telling Kelly and Steve that the 'roid using jocks were marched to Coach Chapman's office. They were in there for forty-five minutes, but Brandon doesn't know exactly what happened after that. Kelly is concerned about Kyle and gets up to go give him a call when Brenda and Dylan suddenly enter the diner. Brenda proudly announces that Dylan finally gave in and allowed her to drive his Porsche. She's now so buoyed by her boyfriend's confidence in her that she orders Brandon to hand over his car keys so she can take David and Donna to the movies. Brandon looks reluctant, but when he confirms that Dylan will give him a ride home after his shift, he relents and hands his keys over to Brenda. When Brenda's safely out of earshot, Dylan tells him that she badly ground his gears. Big surprise. All of a sudden there's a loud crashing noise outside, and everyone runs out to the alley to see what kind of vehicular carnage Brenda has just caused. To Brandon's great relief, the noise was just a garbage truck emptying the dumpster. Brenda then drives by in the Mustang and waves at them like the clueless dimwit she is...and everyone laughs at the hilarity of assuming that she had totaled her brother's car. 

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