Recap: A couple of mischievous young boys are in the kitchen of the Beverly Royale Hotel, pranking Dylan with a series of early wake-up calls. Dylan gruffly tells them he's an FBI agent, and they freak out and abruptly hang up the phone. Gina grumbles about the rascally kids repeatedly phoning his room in the wee hours of the morning - but Dylan doesn't seem all that peeved and turns the lights on and starts doing what I assume is homework for whatever CU courses he's taking. Gina turns on the TV and happily notices that Gone With the Wind has just started - but Dylan tells her he prefers the quiet while he's working and suggests she go watch the movie in her own room. Gina bitchily snaps, "You had time for sex" then storms out. A man in the hall tells Gina he sees her hanging in the hotel at all hours and assumes she's a hooker, then gets all grab-handsy and invites her to give him an impromptu audition to see if she has what it takes to be an exotic dancer in his club. Gina growls at him to get his hands off of her, just as Dylan appears and slams him against the wall...and when he asks Dylan if he's finished being serviced by her, he gets a punch in the face. Dylan orders him to apologize to the lady, but a sad looking Gina self-piteously whimpers, "Why? He makes me feel the same way you do" then steps into the elevator. OMFG. Someone please explain to me how these two could still possibly be a couple.
Steve and Janet are at a swanky restaurant, waiting to meet with Janet's parents. Mama and Papa Sosna arrive and are shocked by the sight of Janet's pregnant belly...then get even more shocked when the two announce they're getting married. Papa Sosna tells Janet she's too young, while Mama Sosna reminds her daughter of all the things she wanted to do with her life. Janet insists that what she wants to do is marry the man she loves and bear his spawn - but Papa Sosna sternly tells her she's disgracing the family, and then he and wife storm out of the restaurant in an uppity huff.
Robin must have gotten over her anger at David for dishing about their first date to his radio listeners, 'cause he's blathering to her about how there are two Davids: Radio David and Regular David...both of whom looked as though a can of black shoe polish was just slathered into his greasy, spiky hair. He's really become an unsightly mess. He suggests that next time she hears Radio David spewing sexist bullcack on the air, she should turn the radio off...and she's like, "Yep. Can do." When the two enter the Peach Pit, Nat and the 90210 menfolk are cackling over the t-shirts they're wearing, and each of them has a slogan that reads 'If you're going to play, you might as well score' under a graphic of David's face. Robin's all, "Wha-a?", then glares over at David. He sheepishly tells her that that's just Radio David stuff, but she refuses to buy into his split personalities nonsense and storms out of the diner.
The Walsh house. Steve tells Matt and Noah that Janet's parents walked out on them at the restaurant last night...and that he has to endure a lunch with Rush later. Noah and Matt offer for one of them to move out (they don't specify who) so they'll have room in the house for a nursery, and Steve thanks them for being so considerate. After he leaves, Matt and Noah complain about being broke, but agree to come up with a fair way to determine which of them will move out of Casa Walsh. I think they should all move out of Casa Walsh so that Mama and Papa Walsh can sell the property and finally liquidate what is probably their most valuable asset.
Now Wear This. Matt drops by to see Kelly, who's sorting through various decorations for Steve's and Janet's upcoming Engagement Party Luau. He tells her that since he and Noah want to make room for Baby Sosna-Sanders, he may have to move out of Casa Walsh soon. He suggests they move in together, but she just scrunches her face and doesn't look too enthused. In the next scene, Kelly tells Donna that Matt or Noah will soon be moving out of Casa Walsh, and Donna assumes that Noah will want to discuss it with her, sparking another tedious round of conversations about their living situation.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Noah drops by to give Dylan his rent check...but holds onto it when Gina tells him he isn't home at the moment. He mumbles that he hopes Dylan doesn't mind that he's a bit short this month. The guy that Dylan punched appears in the hall, and Gina perks up and tells Noah she just got a terrific idea on how they could double their money and not share any of it with Dylan: turn the After Dark into a strip club after it closes to the regular public. Noah says that that sounds like trouble, yet intriguing...and Gina cackles and exclaims, "Yeah!"
Restaurant. Rush tells Steve and Janet that shotgun weddings don't work, and Steve reminds him that no one is forcing either of them to get married and that he could really use his support. Rush assures him he has it - then, for some weird reason, makes a point of repeatedly acting like a racist fuckbag to the Asian waiter. Rush advises Steve and Janet to shack up and remain unmarried so they can "see how it goes", but Steve says they genuinely love each other...then irritably gets up from his seat and tells Janet they're outa here.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina snarks at Dylan again for making her feel like a whore...blah blah...then don't continue to live in the hotel room he's subsidizing, idiot. A housekeeper named Maria drags over her two boys, aka the pranksters who were repeatedly placing wake-up calls to Dylan's room. Maria explains that because the local Community Center cancelled its after-school programs, she has to bring her kids to her workplace (at all hours of the night, apparently) where they've been getting themselves into mischief. Dylan sternly tells the boys he wants a word with them...then pulls them aside, points at the man he punched the night before, and orders them to give him wake-up calls every fifteen minutes, starting at 6:00am. The two boys giggle and agree.
The Walsh house. Donna tells Steve and Janet how puzzled she is that Noah hasn't yet mentioned his imminent move out of the Walsh house...then wanders off to continue planning the engagement party. A few seconds later, Samantha's girlfriend, Karen, drops by and perkily announces that she's in town to represent Samantha at the engagement party. Janet suddenly clutches her stomach and shrieks, "Something's wrong!" and Donna rushes over to the nearest phone to call the doctor.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Noah and Gina covertly discuss their plans for an After Dark After Hours Stripper-o-rama. They agree on a cover charge of $30 and decide that the dancers can pocket their tips. Noah says that the extra dough will be welcome right now, 'cause he's planning to move in with Donna and doesn't want to freeload off of her...at least not indefinitely. He asks Gina why she's content to freeload off of Dylan, and she grimly tells him that her mom spent all the money they "scammed" from Felice in the Bobbi Dearest episode. She vows to make it all back and then some, then cackles maniacally.
Hospital. The doctor assures Janet that the baby is fine, and that she just had a panic attack from all the stress she's been under. Mama Sosna suddenly rushes into the room, explains that Donna called her, and declares that the most important thing right now is the wellbeing of the baby.
David and Robin return to her apartment after their date. He thanks her for giving him another chance, and the two kiss. She says she feels weird about inviting him in, then points out that it's already their third date...which usually means it's time to hit the sack. David chuckles and says he's willing to forgo that dating rule, then invites her to go with him to Janet's and Steve's Engagement Party Luau so she can meet his friends. Robin beams and says she likes the sound of that.
The Walsh house. Matt tells Kelly he saw a fabulous townhouse they could move into, but Kelly just shrugs and says she prefers living with Donna 'cause she doesn't want to have to worry about looking cute and well-coiffed all the time. Noah, meanwhile, tells Donna he won't be able to make the luau 'cause he's too swamped with all the stuff he has going on at the After Dark. She tells him it's OK to tell her about his housing situation, and is aware that he might have to move out of Casa Walsh soon. Noah says that that's his problem, and that he'll just get his own place. Donna scrunches her big face disappointedly.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina is using the contacts in the address book she stole from Pia to hustle business for the After Dark After Hours Stripper-o-rama. She cackles at whoever she's talking to and says it'll make every other club in L.A. look like a church picnic. Dylan suddenly drops by...along with a hotel manservant who wheels in a projector, movie screen, and popcorn maker. They set up a reel with Gone With the Wind, and Gina squeals with delight at the uncharacteristically thoughtful gesture and gives Dylan a big smooch.
Beach house. Mama and Papa Sosna drop by to tell Janet that if she moves back in with them, they'll cover her expenses and help take care of the baby. Steve irritably asks them where he fits into this scenario, and Papa Sosna glares at him hatefully and grunts, "You can visit." LOL. Janet says she's fine hanging here with Steve, but that she would appreciate their support. Papa Sosna says he's not fine with that and gives her an ultimatum: raise the baby with them, or alone with Steve. As he heads out with his wife, he bitchily urges Janet to think about what he said.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Dylan goes down to the kitchen to see whassup with the two brats who gave him eight wake-up calls. He might want to consider turning off the ringer while he sleeps. A tearful Maria tells him she just got fired for her kids' disruptive antics...and Hector concurs and says that the hotel is not a daycare. Dylan implores him to reconsider, but he shakes his head and says he has no choice.
After Dark. Matt makes a pissy remark about Kelly preferring Donna to him as a roommate, so Kelly later explains to Donna that she told him she wasn't interested in moving in together. Donna tells her that Noah is getting his own place...and the two chuckle about their inability to commit, while a bonehead like Steve is about to get married and become a father.
Beach house. As the Engagement Party Luau gets underway, Steve explains to Karen how uptight Janet's parents are, and that he'd prefer to introduce her as his adopted sister...and she agrees to play along. Cue Rush, who is shocked to learn about Samantha's sexual orientation and that her lover, who he has to pretend is his daughter, is in attendance at this party. He loudly blurts out, "No wife of mine was ever gay!" and everyone stares over at him in bewilderment. Donna, meanwhile, implores Dylan to relieve Noah once in awhile at the After Dark so he can attend things like this Engagement Party Luau - and an alarmed Gina tries to prevent any more talk of Noah's work schedule by spilling wine everywhere. When Janet's parents arrive, Steve carefully introduces Karen as his adopted sister. A few seconds later, a busty stripper arrives to provide the entertainment, and Rush explains to Steve that he booked her 'cause he mistakenly thought this was going to be a bachelor party. Er...OK, but it probably still wouldn't be appropriate for the father of the groom to be the one lining up strippers. The stripper spots David, makes a beeline over to him, and gushes about how much she looooves his radio show. She asks him to sign his autograph on her hooters, then asks him how much sex he's getting on his dates with Robin...and he stupidly replies, "Tons of sex!" Naturally, Robin overhears the entire exchange and angrily storms out...and I can't hope hard enough that this is the last we'll ever have to see of this tiresome, 'David sucks at dating' subplot.
Rush tells Karen that Samantha was always going through phases, then loudly suggests they hit the sack to see how staunch of a lesbian she really is. Papa Sosna looks horrified at the thought of Rush wanting to have sex with his own daughter and announces he's leaving. Steve stops him and explains that his mom is gay and that Karen is her lover, not his adopted sister - but Papa Sosna doesn't care and rails about how his tabloid newspaper is garbage. He says he wants Janet to move back home asap, then admonishes her for throwing her life away.
Gina returns to the hotel with Dylan, then goes into the bathroom to warn Noah that stupid Donna guilted Dylan for making him work so hard every night...and so he's about to head over to the After Dark. Noah, who's in the middle of auditioning strippers, says he needs another half hour and tells her to do whatever she can to delay him. Gina's like, "I'm on it!" and hurriedly strips off her clothes, exits the bathroom naked, and sexily entices Dylan over to the bedroom. May this scene finally put to rest any further talk of how much like a prostitute Dylan makes Gina feel.
Beach house. Steve is bummed by how badly things went with Mama and Papa Sosna, and he tells Janet how much he hates that she's being forced to choose between them and her baby daddy. In a moment of self-reflection, he wonders aloud if maybe her parents have a point about his unsuitable boneheadedness. Perhaps they do, Steve. Perhaps they do.
Dylan summons Hector to the Community Center, which has resumed its after-school programs after receiving an "anonymous" donation to do so. Dylan tells Hector he wants him to hire Maria back, now that she can offload her spawn in this public space. The guy who runs the Community Center observes Dylan as he interacts with Maria's boys, tells him he likes the cut of his jib, and says he could definitely use a guy like him around.
Now Wear This. Noah and Matt have decided to flip a coin in order to determine which of them will move out of Casa Walsh. Donna pulls Noah aside and says they should discuss this, 'cause she suddenly has a renewed interest in moving in with him. Kelly, meanwhile, tells Matt that while she'd love to live with him, she doesn't want to make such a drastic life change just 'cause she's worried that she's getting left behind by all the committed couples around her. Matt pretends to understand her nonsensical logic, and the two exchange I love yous. As Noah tosses the coin in the air, Donna grabs it and announces that they'll be moving in together. Noah beams happily and promises that they'll celebrate this milestone soon...and by soon he means once the After Dark After Hours Stripper-o-rama starts turning a profit.
Beach house. Steve and Janet invite Mama and Papa Sosna and Rush over to make it clear that they love each other, want to get married, and consider the baby an added bonus. Janet sternly tells her parents that they can either be happy for them and share in the joy of being grandparents, or sit miserably on the sidelines and wait for them to fail. Steve concurs and solemnly says that he and Janet now have their own family to think about.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina and Dylan enjoy some post-coital afterglow and discuss his very generous "anonymous" donation to the Community Center. After that, she gets out of bed and pretends she's heading back to her own room.
The After Dark After Hours Stripper-o-rama already looks like a promising money-maker. Noah complains to Gina that he feels like a pimp...then hands her $6,000 in cash: her cut of the earnings. She fans the bills and squeals happily.
David drops by Robin's apartment - gaaaaaaaa!!! - 'cause she refuses to take his calls. She bitches at him for continuing to tell people that they've slept together, and he sheepishly apologizes for repeatedly lying...and explains that when he was in high school, he was a major dork who had to wait many long years until Donna finally allowed him to pop her sainted maidenhood. An unimpressed Robin tells him she's wary of his loose lips and doesn't know who he is. When he weakly says, "It's just me", she tells him she has no idea what that means, and shuts the door in his face. Haha!