Recap: The 90210 guys are telling Steve that of course Janet retroactively turned down his marriage proposal, then point out that he didn't present her with a diamond ring or even get down on one knee. Dylan says that as a man who was once married [for five whole minutes], he knows of what he speaks and insists that a ring and the correct posture is important to elicit a yes.
Beach house. Donna and Kelly urge Janet to overlook Steve's flaws and marry him, but she refuses and says that she and her baby have no use for his ambivalence. Matt concurs and says that marriage is hard, and that both people have to be absolutely sure it's what they both want before jumping into the lifelong commitment. Kelly's all, "Wha-a?" and shoots him the stink-eye for not falling in line with hers and Donna's opinion.
The Walsh house. Steve shows the menfolk the large diamond ring he bought for Janet...then glumly wonders aloud if he should even bother proposing again, given that she's already turned him down. The guys suggest he rehearse the proposal ad nauseam, and then we get a lot of superfluous footage of him practicing baring his soul.
Beach house. Janet shows Kelly and Donna the giant to-do list of tasks and appointments she needs to complete before the baby is born: ultrasounds, Lamaze class, cobbling together a nursery, etc. She adds that while she loves Steve, the baby can't live with his indecision...and so her answer to his marriage proposal remains a firm no.
Matt finds Kelly drinking coffee in the mall courtyard and leans over to kiss her, but she rebuffs his kiss and says she's still miffed at him for what he said to Janet about marriage. Cue Matt's new client, Judy, who storms over to bitch about how her estranged husband wants full custody of their children. Matt sends her upstairs to wait in his office for a moment, then explains to Kelly that Judy and her husband were married for seventeen years before things started to go sour. As for his remarks to Janet the other day, he was merely urging her to exercise caution before entering into marriage. Kelly sneers that that's hardly a ringing endorsement of marriage, so he patiently points out to the thick-headed dolt that marriage doesn't always end up lasting forever. Kelly stubbornly refuses to concede that a marriage, however foolishly rushed into, could fall apart ever, and continues to glare at him, all judgey-like...even though she herself expressed the exact same sentiment in Season 4, when Brenda got engaged to Stuart Carson after barely knowing him a couple of weeks:
Kelly remarks that she always thought Donna would be the first of them to get engaged...and Donna says she always thought Kelly would be the first. Kelly shakes her head and says if there's one thing that Jackie's many failed marriages has taught her, it's that marriage is something that should never be entered into lightly.
David arrives at Radio Station headquarters to meet with the station manager, Rick Miller. Rick tells David he's delighted by all the attention his sexist, self-indulgent rants have provoked lately, then chuckles and jokes that he should prolly avoid dating feminists, and boorishly adds, "Who would?" The receptionist, Robin, looks unimpressed with both idiots, so David hangs back to tell her she's gotten the wrong impression of him. He asks for her phone number so he can ask her out and prove he's not the misogynist schmuck he's pretending to be for his listeners, and she easily caves and writes her number down...which means we're now stuck with this boring dud of a stupid subplot.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Janet drops by after being summoned to the hotel by Dylan. He wastes no time in guilting her about declining Steve's proposal and sanctimoniously declares that what she's doing is ass-backwards wrong. Janet irritably snaps, "I don't need this!" just as Gina breezes in from a day of shopping, plops herself onto the couch beside Janet, and waxes on about how nice it is to be "home". Dylan politely asks her to scram so that he can continue to admonish Janet for being selfish. An increasingly irked Janet argues that she's looking out for her child, and Dylan insists that Steve has stepped up to face his responsibilities and growls, "You have no right to do this!" Janet throws those same words back in his face, then storms out. Gina, who's been enjoying the spectacle from across the room, is chomping on mixed nuts and making stupid faces at Dylan.
The Walsh house. Donna drops by to bring Noah a music demo from a band she thinks he should hire to perform at the After Dark. He invites her to stay awhile and listen to it with him, and she beams and trails after him into the living room.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina is gabbling on the phone to her mother, telling her she moved into a hotel room with Dylan 'cause things got too cramped at the beach house. After the call, she canoodles an annoyed looking Dylan, who's typing something on his chunky '90s laptop. He tells her that while he's happy they're a couple again, they never actually discussed moving in together. She giggles and chirps, "It just kind of happened" so he comes right out and tells her that this hotel room is his place and he doesn't think it's big enough for two people. She's all, "Wha-a?" and contorts her face all pouty-like.
The Walsh house. Steve is practicing his proposal when Janet drops by and knocks on his bedroom door. She angrily tells him to stop siccing his idiot friends on her...then reminds him that her pregnancy is a personal, private matter, and that she doesn't need the added pressure of being guilted by a slouchy deadbeat. Steve apologizes for Dylan waaaay overstepping his boundaries...and then she thrusts a copy of her packed schedule of doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, and Lamaze classes at him, and storms out. Steve angrily whips the diamond ring across the room, then stares despondently into space.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina wakes Dylan and excitedly tells him she ordered a large breakfast of eggs, sausages, and coffee. She then waves the newspaper around and asks him to read the article about the millennium to her...and a vexed Dylan mumbles, "This isn't going to work." She poutishly accuses him of not trying, and he tells her he doesn't want to mess with their relationship or anything, but can't fucking stand how on top of each other they are in his little hotel room. Gina barks, "Go to hell!", then flops down beside him on the bed and puts a pillow over her face...and Dylan somehow resists the urge to use the pillow to smother her to death and then later claim it was an accident.
After Dark. Noah auditions the band that Donna recommended, and gets angry when the lead singer tells him he's Wayne's cousin. It's odd that Donna wouldn't have told him to keep his lip zipped about his familial connection to her past fling.
Mall. Dylan, Donna and Kelly are discussing Steve's rejected marriage proposal. The three put their heads together and wonder what they can do to make the engagement happen, despite it being absolutely none of their business. Across the courtyard, Judy's estranged husband storms over to where Judy and Matt are talking, and a heated argument quickly erupts. Dylan hastily slouches over and urges him to calm down...and the estranged husband complains that he's been accused of being volatile and a threat to his children. He sadly says he misses his boys, and Kelly remarks on how depressing this family's situation has become.
After Dark. Gina grumbles to David about how selfish and spoiled men are. David argues that her problems are Dylan specific - but she disagrees and says that Dylan could be a great guy if only he weren't such a self-absorbed assbag 90% of the time. Noah, meanwhile, acts all cold and bitchy to Donna...and when she asks him whassup, he retorts by asking her if Wayne was the one who told her about his cousin's band. She meekly admits that he did, but insists that her only motive here was to help him draw more people into the club.
David calls up Robin from the DJ booth, lets her know she's on the air, and asks her out. For some insane reason she says yes, and then everyone in the After Dark busts into applause. Later in the show, David complains about how women like jerks...such as "Doug", for instance, who stole his roommate's girlfriend, and then kicked her out of his hotel room when he got sick of her. A few seconds later, Dylan storms into the DJ booth and orders David to stop discussing his personal life on his dumb radio show. David smugly retorts that somehow all of his incessant griping about his shitty love life has boosted his popularity, then sarcastically adds that he (David) should be thanking him (Dylan) for helping make his radio show such an implausible success. As Dylan shoots him the stink-eye, Gina sits at the bar and stares sadly into space.
The Beverly Beat. Dylan urges Steve to forget about Janet (though not the baby) as he slouches in a chair and browses the latest issue of the Beat for apartment listings for Gina. He points out that single dads are like chick magnets - just as Janet enters the newsroom. After Dylan wisely beats a hasty retreat, Janet starts nattering at Steve about how she thrives on order and hates chaos...and chaos is what her life is at the moment. She admonishes Steve for how much his "messiness" freaks her out despite how in love she is with him...then bursts into tears and says that she and the baby can't be "surprised" by him right now. A sad and befuddled looking Steve backs away from her slowly.
Donna ambushes Noah outside his health club and apologizes for not being upfront about the band's connection to Wayne. She explains that she kept mum about it 'cause she knew it would hurt his feelings, then sadly says she wishes the whole contrived Wayne subplot had never happened. She admits how much it hurt her to watch him parade around with Cherise, and would like it if they both wiped the slate clean of their respective flings and moved forward with their dismal relationship...including, if necessary, endless conversations about whether or not they should move in together.
Dylan and Gina are house hunting, but Gina's not into it. She grabs the newspaper from Dylan and tells him she doesn't need his help...and he mumbles about how now isn't the right time for them to live together. She snaps, "Maybe I'm just not the right girl!" ... and when he just stares mutely into space, she tells him to get lost and that she'd prefer to find a place by herself.
David and Robin are out at the After Dark on their first date...and they discuss David's shittastic radio show, then hit the dance floor. Across the room, Kelly tells Matt she continues to disapprove of his attitude toward marriage, so he explains that between Lauren's schizophrenia and his parents' divorce, his view of the institution has gotten somewhat marred. Kelly moans about how much she hates it that he doesn't believe in happily ever after, and accuses him of just waiting around to be unhappy. The two then spot Matt's client, Judy, dancing with a man who's not her estranged husband...and Kelly gets so dismayed by the sight, despite it having absolutely nothing at all to do with her, that she declares she's going home and angrily flounces toward the exit.
Beach house. Janet and Donna are assembling a baby crib when Kelly enters the room and complains about how annoying Matt is. Steve drops by to tell Janet that he thrives on his messiness, and reminds her that life isn't tidy. He says he doesn't want to know the baby's gender ahead of time 'cause he'd like to have that be a surprise in the delivery room...then suddenly tears up and says he can't wait to trip over kids' toys and clean up their child's messes. That remark causes Janet to start weeping.
Gina is on the phone in Matt's office, glumly making an appointment to see an apartment in Reseda. A few seconds later, Matt enters the office with Judy, who announces that she and her estranged husband are talking about reconciling. Apparently, she panicked when they began to grow apart, but suddenly believes that their marriage will last forever after all. Fantastic. I'm sure Kelly will be happy to hear it.
Hospital. Janet is having an ultrasound when a giddy looking Steve enters the room. He gabbles about how excited he is about the baby, then presents Janet with the diamond ring he purchased and proposes to her all proper-like. Janet tearfully says yes and calls the ring perfect. The obstetrician asks them if they'd like to know the gender of their baby - but Janet declines, grins at Steve, and says they need to have this surprise in their lives.
After Dark. Robin calls David to wish him good luck with his radio show. Rick smarmily tells David he's going to have to dish to his listeners about everything that happened on their date, now that he's made his personal life into a public spectacle. Donna arrives at the club and is relieved that Noah is acting less hostile. He tells her he hates being reminded of Wayne, and she assures him that her fling with the dumb looking jock is over. David, meanwhile, gets inundated with callers who are itching to know if he scored with Robin...and when he tries to stay mum on the subject, they taunt him about "crashing and burning". Eventually, he throws in the towel on being a mature, discreet adult and blabs about everything he and Robin said and did.
Beach house. Matt tells Kelly that she shouldn't have to expect unhappiness in a marriage, then explains again that Lauren's illness made him feel like he had to protect himself from the pain that losing a spouse brings about. He informs her that Judy and her husband are patching things up and that Steve and Janet are getting married after all...and Kelly squeals happily about how totes awesome it is to be surrounded by happily ever after, and gives Matt a smooch. What a big baby she was this entire episode.
Robin leaves David a phone message, admonishing him for humiliating her on the air. She calls it "just plain cruel".
Beverly Royale Hotel. Gina angrily tells Dylan she found a place in Reseda...and he tells her he doesn't want her to live in Reseda. He says he'd like her to continue living in the hotel, and she perks up and tells him she's thrilled he finally came around...then quickly deflates when he tells her he booked a room for her that's one floor below his and registered her as his wife. Gina poutishly says she'd much prefer to live in his room, 'cause living one floor down makes her feel like a concubine. It should also make her feel like a freeloader, since I'm sure that Dylan is covering the cost of this ridiculous living arrangement.
Beach house. Steve is on the patio, painting the crib, when Janet comes outside to see what he's doing. She apologizes for pushing him away for much of the episode, and explains that she was frightened he was marrying her for all the wrong reasons and would eventually leave her. Steve assures her that he loves her and jokes that she's stuck with him. He then hands her a present, which is a framed photograph of their unborn spawn...and the two tearfully gush about how beautiful he or she is.