Recap: David is in his DJ booth, whining to listeners about his boring birthday plans despite probably none of them giving a rat's ass. Janet is at the bar and orders mineral water...and instead of twigging onto what that beverage choice could imply, the 90210 guys are lewdly checking out her abnormally ample cleavage. When she ambles away, Steve tells the guys he's pretty sure she just got a boob job, and is miffed that she didn't give him the 411 about it. Noah, meanwhile, flirts with Cherise - which makes Donna pout from across the room, but then she concedes to Kelly that she did sort of cheat on him. Matt asks Kelly to dance, and the two hit the dance floor and stiffly jig. She tells him she's not ready to spend the night together and needs him to give her some space...and by some space, she means she doesn't want him actually touching her until she figures out how to feel safe again.
Casa David. Dylan delivers a check for his share of the utilities, but when David sees that it's for $1,000, he rips it up and angrily accuses Dylan of always trying to buy his way out of the messes he creates. Dylan points out that when he (David) walked in on Gina riding his baloney pony, she didn't exactly have a gun to her head...and that essentially all that happened was him getting back together with his girlfriend. His what now? I thought the consensus from the fairly recent Bobbi Dearest episode was that, in addition to being too individually toxic to couple up (like, in general), Dylan outright admitted to not giving a fuck about Gina as a person, a sentiment that resulted in her feelings of shamefulness:
Gina drops by to hang with Dylan, and he starts rambling about how numb he's been feeling inside lately, and that he couldn't give a rat's ass about anything or anyone. [Well...except for Kelly, and his late wife of five minutes.] Gina gives him a sad nod and bitterly states, "Present company excluded, right?" and Dylan says they both know this is nothing more than a meaningless hook-up...and not something he's particularly proud of. Gina says she's not particularly proud of herself for knowing all this and continuing to stick around, then gets up and stalks out.
Kelly calls David to dictate his birthday plans: she will pick him up in the early evening and and take him to Mel's and Jackie's condo, where they will enjoy a family dinner. David rolls his eyes and mumbles, "Can't wait" as Dylan writes him another $1,000 check, then slouches out of the apartment.
After the call, Kelly chuckles to Donna, Steve, and Janet that David thinks he's spending his birthday having a boring family dinner, when in fact the 90210 gang has planned a very special surprise at the After Dark that involves showcasing a photo display of his dorkish teenage years. Janet excuses herself and rushes off to the spare bedroom...and once she's out of earshot, Steve asks Donna and Kelly if they have any idea whether or not she's planning to dump him. Kelly keeps mum, while Donna says she thinks they're perfect together. Kelly later slips into Janet's room to warn her that Steve knows something is up. Janet's like, "Yeah whatever" and excitedly tells her she just felt the baby move, and Kelly points out that this is the sort of thing she needs to be sharing with Steve. Donna enters the room and implores Janet to please not dump Steve, and Janet blurts out that she's pregnant...and also worried that Steve isn't up to the task of being a parent. Donna half-heartedly says he probably, maybe, could be up to it, and then she and Kelly invite her to move into the beach house permanently now that they finally had the good sense to kick Gina out.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Dylan is slouching to his room when he encounters a stoned young girl who's in the process of being arrested. We learn that her name is Lucy Wilson and that she and Dylan lived in this hotel when they were kids. She tells Dylan she's being arrested for drug possession, so he says he'll arrange for a lawyer to meet her at the police station. Gina emerges from the room to see what all the commotion is about, and Dylan mutters, "It's a filler subplot - I mean a drug bust."
Picnic. Janet assures Steve that she still wants to be with him, then mournfully adds, "There's no going back now." Steve lets that odd remark blow by 'cause he's so distracted by her large hooters, and tells her how in the mood he is to get an unfettered gander at them in the sack. Janet gets enraged at his childish behavior, snaps, "Forget it!" and storms away.
The Walsh house. Donna drops by to apologize to Noah again for hooking up with Wayne - but he just snarks at her about how incredulous he is that she hit the sheets with a guy she barely knows, then wails, "I thought we were happy!" I guess he keeps forgetting that he dumped her before she got it on with Wayne. He shuts the door in her face, and I can only hope (in vain) that this is her last infidelity apology.
Matt's office. Dylan gives Matt the skinny on Lucy Wilson and tells him how the poor girl practically raised herself while being forced [by negligent parents who somehow couldn't bring themselves to rent or buy a suitable home] to live in a hotel. Matt informs him that the police caught her in possession of meth and pot, and that it's possible they're going to make an example out of her.
Beach house. Janet is in the process of moving in when Gina comes over to return her keys. She makes a snarky remark at Janet for replacing her in the beach house so quickly, then says she's going to grab the rest of her stuff. After she huffily exits the apartment, Donna asks Kelly and Janet if she should exclude Gina from David's birthday party, and Kelly says she's being way too nice to even contemplate inviting the devious tart. Donna mulls that over, quickly concurs, and throws Gina's party invitation in the trash.
Dylan has bailed Lucy out of jail and is urging her to turn her life around and attend college - but she makes a blech face and tells him she has no interest in that. The two reminisce about old times from when they lived in the hotel as kids, and she tells him she's always admired his brooding, slouchy manner.
After Dark. Donna tells Noah about David's upcoming surprise party, but Noah snappishly tells her he already heard all about it from Kelly. She apologizes for her infidelity again (&^%$!!), but he says that her sorrys don't mean anything and stalks off. Over in the DJ booth, David bitches about the evils of rebound sex while glaring over at Gina, then mercifully puts a song on. Gina enters the booth to call him out for publicly airing his personal grievances to disinterested radio listeners...then points out that she made it perfectly clear to him that she only wanted him as a friend, and accuses him of pretending he was OK with that when really he was hoping to get something sex-related in return. She concludes that he's actually more fake and dishonest than she is.
Beach house. Kelly and Matt have just finished a sumptuous dinner on the patio. Kelly tells him about the rape survivors therapy group she's been going to, but doesn't think it's helping. Matt says he wants to better understand her post-trauma feelings, so she tells him it's kind of like when his apartment in Brooklyn was robbed and how he experienced feelings of shitty vulnerability afterwards.
The Beverly Beat. Steve and Janet are working late when Janet blurts out, "I'm pregnant!" Steve looks completely wigged out, but then hugs her and assures her that somehow they'll manage through this life-altering experience. Janet gets all teary and says she knows he doesn't want to be a baby daddy at this stage of his life...then admits that she's known about the pregnancy for three months. Steve is all, "Wha-a?!" and angrily accuses her of deliberately trapping him...and says this as though he's the kind of man a woman would actually aspire to entrap herself with.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Steve is venting about Janet's pregnancy to the 90210 guys. Dylan tells him he can't just abandon Janet and his child, and David snarkishly advises Steve to stay out of the kid's life if he's not interested in being a parent, then turns to Dylan and snarks that he doesn't know what he's talking about and should just shut up. After he storms off, Noah reminds Dylan about David's surprise birthday party and says he booked a singer named Christina Aguilera. After everyone leaves, Gina emerges from the other room, having eavesdropped on the entire conversation, and asks Dylan whassup with him - but not her - being invited to attend David's birthday party. Dylan points out that he's known David for ten years, which I guess somehow trumps the fact that David now hates him. Gina shrugs and pretends she has no interest in going.
Matt takes Kelly to a therapy group that's geared toward helping people recover from trauma. The extremely perky group leader makes the participants pass oranges to each other using just their necks. Very groundbreaking stuff. Kelly tries to pass her orange to Matt, but when she involuntarily cringes at his touch, the orange falls to the floor.
The Beverly Beat. Janet explains to an irked Steve that she was scared when she learned she was pregnant, and contemplated whether or not she should have the baby. Steve says she should have told him months ago so they could have discussed all of the available options together. Fair point. And damn you, Janet, for making me side with a bonehead like Steve.
After the seminar, Matt wants to try the passing-of-the-orange exercise again...and this time Kelly manages to do it. She tells him that ever since the assault, being touched anywhere near her neck creeps her out...but that some light, arm-over-the-shoulder cuddling makes her feel secure. The two sit down on a bench, and Matt indulges her with some unobtrusive cuddling.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Matt manages to get all the charges dropped against Lucy, so Dylan invites Lucy to the hotel restaurant to celebrate. He lectures her about quitting heroin and applying to college - but Lucy gets all defensive and snarks about how he's the pot calling the kettle black. He tells her he regularly attends Narcotics Anonymous meetings and is welcome to go with him, so then she points out that he used to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, but is now drinking beer. Yeah...I've been meaning to ask: whaddup with Dylan suddenly drinking beer and champagne since his Season 9 return? Dylan mumbles, "I can handle it", which is probably a strange message to be sending a drug-addicted person you're trying to convince should get clean.
Gina plots to derail David's birthday party by calling him up and pretending she needs his help changing a flat tire. She says she's close to his apartment and is very skeered by the creepy darkness...and David agrees to help her out.
Dylan delivers a CU course catalogue to Lucy, and she promises to take a look at it later.
Casa David. Kelly comes by to pick up David for his "birthday dinner", and is confused when he's not there. She tries calling him on his cell - but Gina answers with a strange sounding hello? and promptly hangs up on her. When David asks her who called him, she fibs and says it was a wrong number.
After Dark. Donna asks Kelly whassup with her arriving at the party sans David, so Kelly tells her she just got a phone message from David, telling her that he's fixing Gina's flat tire. As they grimace knowingly at each other, Steve sheepishly informs them that Gina must have overheard them talking about the party at the hotel and then hatched a sinister plot to ruin David's birthday evening for everyone.
Gina thanks David for changing her tire, then offers to buy him dinner. When he declines, she begs him to go out with her for one drink...and after some annoying hemming and hawing about what a giant sucker he is to come running whenever she calls, he agrees to have one drink with her.
After Dark. Christina Aguilera is performing Genie in a Bottle while the 90210 gang wonders where the birthday boy could be. Kelly declares the party "a disaster", then slow dances with Matt. Donna stares at them with longing sadness etched across her big face.
Gina and David finally arrive at the After Dark. She calls him "the nicest guy I know" then tells him she'll meet him inside the club after she parks the car. He gives her an intense smooch for several seconds...and when their lips unlock she looks completely shocked by how pleasurable it was. David swaggers toward the club, and is baffled when Gina drives by him. When he enters the After Dark, the gang yells, "Surprise!" and asks him to make a few birthday remarks. David looks moved by all the trouble they went to, then gabbles about how the core 90210 cast mates have made every move together since Season 1, and that even though he's not dining with Mel, Jackie, and Erin, he's with family tonight. After that, we get a lot of superfluous footage of Christina Aguilera performing - which, I have to say, I quite enjoyed.
Janet follows Steve into the men's room and gabbles about how everything is about to change. She denies planning the pregnancy, but that she wants to proceed with it nonetheless. She tells him she would fully understand if he didn't want to be a part of the child's life and that it's truly his choice.
Lucy drops by Dylan's hotel room looking green around the gills from heroin withdrawal. She asks him if he would drive her to an out-of-town rehab center in the morning, and he says he'd be happy to, but that she should stay in his room for the night in order to avoid any drug-related temptations.
The Walsh house. Matt finds Steve shooting hoops late at night. He asks him what he's going to do about Janet, and he mutters, "I dunno", then stares anxiously up at the night sky.