Recap: Matt is using his suspension to get caught up on his gym time and hang out with Kelly. When the two arrive at the beach house, they find David and Donna sacked out in the living room, giggling about being in "the loser's club" 'cause neither has anything better to do than hang out with each other on a Saturday night. They ask Matt if he knows anyone he can fix them each up with, and he mulls that over and says he can think of a few non-picky types who might not mind dating well below their league. Kelly tells Matt she has a janitor friend named Everardo who hurt his back on the job and needs legal advice...and when Matt reminds her that he can't practice law during his suspension, Kelly bitchily retorts, "Not even a conversation?" Donna chimes in and urges him to do whatever he can to help poor hapless Everardo, so Matt decides, "Aw what the hell" and agrees to meet with Everardo.
Dylan and Gina are at the opening of a fancy new dance club. Gina rushes back to their table and excitedly tells Dylan that Jennifer Lopez just asked her where she bought her shoes. Squeal! Across the club, Josie is eying Dylan and saucily winking at him...and when Gina asks whassup with the flirty skank, Dylan just shrugs as if he didn't doink Josie during the previous episode and says she's some friend of Noah's. A photographer from The Chronicle comes by their table to snap their picture, then asks for their names and if they're a couple. Dylan mumbles, "Current status unknown" and Gina shoots him the stink-eye (not sure why; they're not a couple), and storms out of the club.
Now Wear This. The photo of Dylan and Gina gets published in the next issue of The Chronicle...and Gina shows it to Donna and Kelly, but explains that it was taken a few seconds before she stormed off. She adds that she has no desire to get sucked in by Dylan's moody slouchiness ever again. A few seconds later, a cute guy named Jerry enters the store and asks to use the phone (his cell battery died), and Donna giddily introduces herself. He gazes at her all smitten-like (because of course he does - it's Donna) and asks her if she's free tonight. She says she is, then writes her number down and hands it to him. He promises to call.
The Walsh house. Janet is interviewing Darby: a cute, perky prospective nanny. Steve and David, meanwhile, are dressed up in surgical gear, pretending to do an alien autopsy on Matt so they can photograph it and spread misinformation about aliens in the Beat. Yes really. After the interview, Janet complains to Steve that Darby was much too cute and perky for her to not feel insecure around, but Steve says she should hire her 'cause she looked like a pretty solid prospect.
The Peach Pit. Kelly runs into Dylan and asks him how he's doing, and when he grunts, "Busy", she counter-snarks, 'Yeah, club hopping." She tells him that she, Donna, and David are thinking about trooping up to the Hollywood sign to reminisce about how they defaced it during the Season 3 finale, but he makes a face and grunts, "I'll pass." After Kelly leaves, Gina makes a beeline over to Dylan and apologizes for her bitchitude the night before, then excitedly tells him that her old agent called her to let her know she's opening up a new gym and wants a telegenic athlete to act as a spokesperson. Apparently, the agent saw the photo of her and Dylan that was published in The Chronicle and thinks she might want to hire her for this very lucrative job. Gina asks Dylan if they could hang at the After Dark tonight and then meet up with her old agent, and Dylan's like, "Yeah...sure, whatevs."
Matt meets with Everardo and tells him that the statute of limitations on filing a lawsuit regarding his back injury will be up in two days. He then explains to Everardo that he can't take the case 'cause he's currently suspended, but Everardo looks distressed and says he's the only lawyer that will do. Matt refrains from telling him that 1) hiring him is scraping the bottom of the L.A. lawyer barrel and 2) he should have thought about that before waiting all this damn time to take legal action.
Beach house. Donna tells Kelly she's all bummed about Jerry standing her up, and Kelly's like, "Sucks to be you" and says she's thinking about a career change and might want to get into counselling. Donna assures her it's A-OK with her if they go their separate ways professionally - just as long as they stay BFFs forever. The two then stare at a dated photo of the 90210 gang (minus Brandon, Brenda, and Ahn-drea...'cause out of sight, out of mind I guess), and lament about how drastically everything has changed since Season 3. It's called the journey of life, girls.
The Walsh house. Janet hires a safe looking old lady to be the nanny...but when they show her the nursery, she suddenly goes squirrelly and says she'd like to do some kind of bizarre ceremony that will ward off demons. Steve's all, "Ack!" and promptly fires her, and Janet agrees to hire Darby.
Now Wear This. David drops by to tell Matt that he met his lawyer friend Chrissy, and they hit it off well enough to go out on a date tonight. He asks Donna if she's seen Noah, and she says she hasn't, but that he's been clubbing a lot lately. A sheepish looking Jerry enters the store and tells Donna he somehow got trapped in an active sprinkler and that her phone number got sprinkled away. He asks her if he can make it up to her, and she writes down her number again, warns him to steer clear of sprinklers, and the two agree to get together tonight.
Beach house. Kelly tells Matt she's leaving the boutique and is ready to figure out what the hell she's going to do with the rest of her life. Matt tells her he took on Everardo as a client, and Kelly's all, "Wha-a?!" and warns him that he could get into trouble if the bar association finds out. Matt says the case only entails a mediation process, so it's unlikely anyone will find out...which can only mean that people are going to find out about it and that he'll be punished accordingly.
Gina and Dylan are riding around in a limo with Noah, Josie, Shane, and a bunch of other yahoos. Josie pulls out a vial of cocaine and gets ready to take a snort, but Dylan barks, "Not in my car!" Josie looks all put out, while Gina derisively mutters, "Nice girl." Noah then pops open a bottle of champagne, and Josie grabs the bottle from him and points it in the direction of Dylan and Gina and sprays it at them until they're both soaking wet. When the limo arrives at the After Dark, Gina is angry that her clothes are ruined and that she'll be unable to impress her old agent and score that spokesperson job. Donna and Jerry, meanwhile, are sitting at the After Dark bar enjoying their first date. He asks if he can kiss her - she says yes - and after a quick smooch, his beeper goes off. He rushes off to call "work" just as David comes over to tease Donna about smooching her date. She tells him she really likes Jerry, and David's like, "Kewl!" and tells her he really likes Chrissy.
Dylan gives the limo driver the night off and is driving around town with Gina in the passenger seat. He grumbles in his grating world weary way about all the people who make demands of him (e.g. Steve and Janet asking him to be godfather - how dare they!) and says he likes hanging with his new deadbeat party friends 'cause they don't expect anything from him. A police officer decides to pull Dylan over so that he and his partner can search the car and find Josie's vial of cocaine. They promptly handcuff Dylan and Gina and place them under arrest for drug possession.
Chrissy drops by Matt's office to crisply inform him that she's been appointed to the bar's ethics committee, and that David blabbed to her about him representing a janitor in a worker's comp case. Nice going, big mouth. She orders Matt to drop the case or she'll have no choice but to report him for violating the conditions of his suspension, and Matt's like, "Er...OK. Thanks for stopping by."
Police station. Gina tells the police she had nothing to do with any drugs...so the police officer asks whose drugs they are and warns Dylan that he could be jailed for violating his probation. Dylan says he doesn't know the coke user's full name, but will do his best to find out. He mumbles, "Just give me an hour."
The Peach Pit. Steve and Janet are hanging with Darby, chatting about how she went to CU. Noah enters the diner, looking disheveled in a wife beater shirt, and leers at Darby and asks her out...and somehow she blushes and looks all into it. Steve pulls Noah aside and tells him to back off flirting with his nanny 'cause she's too sweet and innocent to get laid by a skank like him. Noah promises to behave, agrees to "keep it clean", and to have her home by 1:00am.
Dylan finds Noah in the After Dark parking lot and snarkishly tells him that one of his party friends left a vial of coke in his limo...and that it resulted in him and Gina spending the night in jail. He asks Noah what Josie's last name is, and Noah gives it to him: Josie Oliver. Kelly appears from out of nowhere and tells Dylan she heard he got arrested for drugs...and he retorts something bitchy, to which she snaps, "Don't talk to me that way!" But Dylan is no longer listening as he puts on his helmet and squeals off on his motorcycle.
Now Wear This. Matt drops by after wrapping up the mediation and tells Kelly it went well and that Everardo was awarded $10,000. He then happens to overhear a phone message from Donna, who talks about their lease renewal...and he puts two and two together and figures out that Kelly decided against leaving the boutique. He asks her if she did that because of his suspension, and she breezily tells him she just got cold feet. He urges her to embrace change and not worry so much about his precarious income situation.
Restaurant. Donna and Jerry are out for dinner and then hit the dance floor. While the two sway cheek-to-cheek, a woman storms over, slaps Jerry across the face, and shrieks, "Cheating bastard!" She informs Donna that the creep she's out with is married, but not for much longer 'cause they're through. Donna's all, "Wha-a-a?!" and gives Jerry two hard face smacks before storming out of the restaurant.
Chrissy heard about the results of the mediation and snippily tells Matt he violated her trust, and that she's going to tattle on him to the bar association. Is there anyone out there who didn't see that coming?
Later, Matt tells Kelly he's now suspended from practicing law for two months. Haha! Kelly curses Chrissy for being such a tattle-tail, then laments about how bummed she is that her high school clique is growing up and leaving the nest - only six and a half seasons after high school ended. Egads - the inhumanity! She decides maybe she too should try growing up, then decides she no longer wants to spend her life selling Donna Martin originals in a shitty little boutique. She says she's scared, but excited...and Matt half-heartedly mumbles some encouraging words of support.
Casa David. David comforts Donna after the Jerry debacle, then tells her how annoyed he is with Chrissy for screwing over Matt. Donna announces that she wants to pig out on candy, then feeds some to David and giggles like a six year old.
The Walsh house. Janet tells Steve that Darby is working out great as the nanny...and Steve says he feels strangely protective of her and can't figure out why. Oh my...I can only hope we get to explore that further.
After Dark. A scantily clad Darby is dirty dancing with Noah, who reminds her he promised Steve he'd get her back to Casa Walsh by 1:00am.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Dylan drops by Gina's room to tell her that the cops dropped the charges against them after he gave up Josie...and Gina glumly tells him that the arrest ruined her chances of getting the fitness spokesperson job. Dylan offers to buy her her own gym, but she declines and snarls, "Just go away" and chides him for always screwing things up for her. He dejectedly slouches back upstairs to his room and finds Shane sitting on his couch, puffing on a cigarette. He informs Dylan that the police raided his sister's apartment and found her stash o' cocaine...and he heard that he was the one who gave her up. He warns, "That was a big mistake", shoots Dylan an ominous stink-eye, then stalks out of the room.
The Walsh house. Steve is waiting up for Darby...and when the limo pulls into the driveway, he watches as she drunkenly smooches with Noah. When Darby notices Steve staring over at her disapprovingly, she breaks away from Noah and sheepishly runs into the house. Steve accuses Noah of seducing the cherub...then grins devilishly and asks for all the delicious details. A contented looking Noah tells him that Darby is a former gymnast nympho and did things to him in the limo he's never experienced before...then pulls his collar down and shows him the hickey she gave him. Steve turns ashen as he suddenly recalls that - OMG! - he slept with Darby while attending CU...then scrunches his face in horror.