Recap: Donna persuades Gina to drop by Casa Martin to visit with her newly discovered bio dad. When they arrive, Papa Martin gives Gina a hug and invites her to join the family to celebrate Christmas...but then he and Felice wring their hands nervously about how on earth they're going to introduce her to their snooty Beverly Hills friends during their annual Christmas Eve party. Donna stares at them incredulously and snaps, "As your daughter" and Gina rolls her eyes and snidely adds, "Well, you've only had twenty-four years to figure it out." She storms out of the room, and Donna rushes after her. Gina tells her she needs to make her choice...and when Donna wussily whimpers that she can't side with her against her dad, Gina snarks, "Congratulations. You're an only child again" and flees the house.
Steve and Janet run into Mama and Papa Sosna while they're out Christmas tree shopping. They're stunned that Janet has given birth (as well they should be, given that her pregnancy seemed to last all of three months) ... and then Mama Sosna takes a peek at Maddy and coos over how beautiful she is. Papa Sosna, however, is far less warm and fuzzy and brusquely says, "Merry Christmas" before bitchily stalking off.
Community Center. Dylan is getting the communal Christmas tree set up, while Kelly arrives with a big box of kid presents donated by Now Wear This customers. The two are having one of their annoying, filled with flirty subtext conversations (&^%$?? I thought we were done with that) when an angry guy storms in to complain about the Center hosting druggie anonymous meetings, 'cause it attracts undesirables who litter Styrofoam cups and cigarette butts everywhere. Dylan politely promises to clean up the litter.
Now Wear This. Noah drops by to give Donna an early birthday present: a plane ticket to Paris! She thanks him, but says she's still annoyed about his Harvard Lie and the way he allowed his parents to buy his way out of trouble when he was nineteen. After that, she gets all judgey about his drinking on the night of the accident that led to his girlfriend's death. A beleaguered looking Noah leaves the boutique just as Kelly arrives...and Donna tells her that between her paternity hiding parents and Noah's drinking and driving mishap (long before he was even a cast member, let's not forget), she rhetorically wonders if anyone tells the truth anymore.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Felice drops by the hotel bar to talk to Gina about her earlier visit. She clucks sympathetically and says, "I felt for you today", then whips out her check book and asks her how much she wants. A bewildered Gina asks what she's buying, and Felice retorts that Papa Martin has an obligation to her. Gina snarks that a check isn't going to make a dent in that obligation, then gets up and storms off.
The Walsh house. Janet makes a batch of subpar egg nog, then wails about how her mom's egg nog is far superior. Steve reminds her of how easily her parents melted when they saw Maddy and suggests she give them a call, and Janet agrees and gets on the phone with her mom and invites her and her dad over for dinner. They accept.
Community Center. Dylan and the kids are decorating the Christmas tree when Angry Guy storms in again and bitches to Dylan about how the Community Center is lowering the surrounding property values. He dumps a bunch of litter on the floor, complains that the parents of these kids are all deadbeats, and defends his dickishness by snarking, "These kids are no strangers to garbage." Dylan doesn't hold back his fury this time and punches him in the face, and Angry Guy clutches his bloodied nose and threatens to sue. Dylan is immediately regretful that he just punched a guy in front of a stunned group of children and tells them that violence is wrong, but then mutters, "Jerk.." under his breath.
Casa Martin. Gina comes over to make a second attempt to bond with her bio dad. She glares at Felice and tells Papa Martin that she doesn't want his money or his pity...and after Felice sheepishly excuses herself, Papa Martin explains that, as usual, his uppity wife went about trying to make amends in the most ass-backwards wrong, insulting way possible. He asks Gina what she expects of him, and she's like, "I dunno" and starts nattering about the father who raised her, and admits that she barely remembers when he died. Papa Martin laments missing out on her entire childhood - despite that being a situation entirely of his own making - then tries to lighten the mood by asking her how she likes living in Beverly Hills. She says it's OK, and that she likes being able to mooch off of Dylan indefinitely and live in a fancy hotel. She tells him again that she doesn't expect anything from him, then abruptly leaves the house.
Matt's office. One of Matt's clients writes him a check for $15,000 as a retainer to represent him in some kind of intellectual property case. Matt immediately decides why the hell not squander the entire amount on something stupid? and rushes down to the boutique to tell Kelly he can afford to get her an amaaaazing Christmas present this year. What a dumbfuck.
The Peach Pit. Andrew tells Dylan how annoyed at him he is for punching Angry Guy in the face in full view of all the kids. Kelly overhears their conversation and chides Dylan for striking someone in front of a group of children, and Dylan gets pissy and stalks off.
The Walsh house. Janet's parents are over, cooing at the baby. Steve tries to get Papa Sosna interested in whatever sports game he's watching on TV, but Papa Sosna just grunts disinterestedly then tells his wife he's ready to go home now. Steve deflates, while Janet stares after them, visibly upset.
Community Center. Dylan is working the phones, trying to find another venue for Narcotics Users Anonymous so that Angry Guy won't be provoked into throwing another tantrum. An employee suddenly rushes in to exclaim that one of the kids, Justin, has just been hurt, and Dylan and Andrew rush outside and find Justin standing on the playground with a bloodied nose. Turns out he got punched by another kid for cheating at Fussball. Dylan admonishes the puncher for resorting to violence...but when he's like, "Wuh? But you punch people", Dylan stares moodily into space, his forehead looking more wrinkly than usual.
Beach house. Donna arrives home with groceries and informs Noah that her parents are coming over in the morning for breakfast to have yet another discussion about the Gina/Bio Dad Situation. She then shifts the topic to his car accident from years ago and asks him how much he had been drinking that night. Noah looks tortured and wails that he lost someone he loved in that accident and doesn't want to be interrogated about it now, then storms out of the apartment.
At breakfast, Donna tells her parents that she and Noah had a fight 'cause he lied about some stuff in his past, and now feels like she "doesn't know who he is anymore". She bitchily adds, "Sound familiar?" and tells her dad that Gina is hurting and that he needs to fix it. Papa Martin rolls his eyes and says that "fix it" is a child's solution to an adult problem, and that their choices shouldn't make them feel like strangers to her. Donna says it kind of does, and Felice primly tells her that that kind of thinking will leave her feeling very alone. Sounds kind of self-serving - but then, Felice and Papa Martin are nothing if not self-serving dicktards.
Community Center. Dylan gathers the kids together and tells them he shouldn't have punched Angry Guy, 'cause it's always better to use one's brain rather than fists to solve problems. He then urges the kid who punched Justin to apologize to him, and the kid nods agreeably and says he'll get on that asap.
After Dark. Donna tells Noah that she and her parents discussed the Gina/Bio Dad Situation some more, and now realizes that they were under pressures she couldn't possibly understand...and admits that she tends to oversimplify things. Noah concedes that he should have been honest with her about Harvard, as well as the accident, and Donna says she totally gets why he'd want to run away from the accident. She too wanted to run away from her dad when she learned the blechy truth about Gina's paternity. She says she just wants to forget about all the unpleasantness that's currently in her life...and when he asks her if she can really do that, she just stares vacantly into space.
Beverly Royale Hotel. David is watching wrestling with Dylan and tells him he recently had dinner with Kelly and Matt, and remarks on what a "disgustingly happy" couple they are. Dylan grimaces and tells him that Kelly challenged him to stop his subtle flirting and commit to her in the white picket fence sense - but he didn't think she really meant it. I don't know why he thought that. She seemed pretty firm and no-nonsense during that conversation. David goes, "What if she did?" and Dylan says that her standards are annoyingly high...and that if she were truly serious about wanting him to commit to a future with her, he'd run like hell and then regret it for the rest of his life. What an immature moron.
Steve is camped out at the Sosna residence, waiting for them to return home from Christmas Eve mass. He babbles at them about how he's been reading up on healthy parenting, and that if Maddy were to one day do something he didn't like, he wouldn't take away his affection and treat her like a bag of shit...the way they're doing to Janet. He then lays it all on the line and tells them that Christmas Day (tomorrow) will be their last chance to come over and show an interest in being part of their lives. If they refuse, they'll forever be persona non grata.
Beach house. Matt and Kelly are putting the final touches on their Christmas tree. Kelly tells Matt about the Taylor tradition of opening one present on Christmas Eve, and he agrees that that's a fine idea. He opens her gift first, which is a book of maps of L.A. and Orange County...which Kelly bought for him 'cause he's always getting lost on the highways. Seems a bit like a passive-aggressive way of telling him he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but OK. After that, Matt produces a velvet ring box, opens it, and proposes marriage. Kelly's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" as she stares at the diamond with a mixture of shock and disdain...but then quickly decides she's definitely through with all the tedious back-and-forth, under-the-radar flirting she's been doing with Slouchy and squeals, "Yes!" and Matt beams and gives her a happy smooch.
The next morning, Noah kisses Donna awake and brings her a yummy looking croissant with a birthday candle stuck in it. A few seconds later, Kelly and Matt rush in so that Kelly can flash her new diamond ring and announce their engagement. After they scamper back out, Donna laments how quickly things are changing in her 90210 clique.
The Walsh house. Donna and Noah drop by for the annual cast mates Christmas party. Donna tells Gina she boycotted her parents' Christmas Eve party in protest of their unwillingness to tell their snooty friends about Papa Martin's grown love child. Dylan, meanwhile, slouches in and tells Kelly he now realizes how wrong it was to punch Angry Guy and promises to be less of a dickwad in the future...then adds that his changes are also about them and mumbles, "It's time we got it right." Before Kelly has a chance to reply, Steve gathers everyone in the living room for a toast, and Matt makes a surprise announcement that he and Kelly are engaged! Kelly happily flashes her diamond ring, and everyone cheers and claps - except for Dylan, who just stares dejectedly into space. A confused Donna pulls Kelly aside and asks her whassup with proposing to Dylan one minute, then accepting a proposal from Matt the next...and Kelly tells her that even though she sometimes thinks that Dylan could be the one, he only ever seems to show an interest in committing to her when it suits him, or whenever she's firmly committed to another guy. Matt, on the other hand, has earned her love 'cause of who he is (a shitty lawyer who apparently can't navigate his way around Los Angeles), not who he's trying to be (a rich, savvy lawyer who has no need for a GPS).
Janet is in the nursery, cuddling Maddy when Steve enters the room and tells her she has guests. A few seconds later, her parents appear in the doorway and tell Janet that Steve invited them to stop by for Christmas. Mama Sosna holds the baby and gushes over her cuteness, and Papa Sosna pulls the pole out of his butt and finally starts behaving a lot friendlier toward Steve.
Donna finds Noah sitting outside and asks whassup with his sad face. He tearfully tells her he wishes they were in Paris right now, and also that he hates the way she's always looking for things to blame him for. He tells her he's felt a lot of guilt about Beth's death, and that it took him years to get over it. He's past it all now, but has no desire to endure it all again, even for her. He then declares, "We can't do this anymore" and declares their relationship dunzo. Donna whimpers, "I'm sorry" and he says he is too and ambles off. Fun fact: this is the second time on Beverly Hills, 90210 that Donna has been dumped by a boyfriend on her birthday! David was the first to do it in Season 4, when she refused to put out.
Kelly and Matt are in bed together, canoodling and gabbling about how great their Christmas was. As she admires her glittery diamond ring, he tells her he's wanted to propose ever since they met and is looking forward to growing old with her.
After Dark. Noah tells Dylan he's going to crash in the After Dark office until he makes some permanent living arrangements, and Dylan mumbles something incoherent in reply.
Beach house. Gina drops by as Donna packs up Noah's stuff. She sadly tells Gina it's finally over, and Gina's like, "Yeesh, sucks to be you" and changes the subject to herself, and how shocked she was when she learned about Papa Martin being her bio dad...but is suddenly hopeful that he could turn out to be the dad she always wanted. The two smile serenely at each other and clasp hands.
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7/21/2019 11:59:31 pm
Why is Gina still in the picture despite everyone knowing she's an evil bitch?!? So stupid.
11/15/2019 10:34:28 am
EARTH TO DONNA MARTIN.....YOU ARE NOT, I REPEAT NOT! PERFECT!
12/17/2019 07:35:48 pm
Kelly is annoying.
3/14/2021 06:11:26 am
Didn't Janet say once at the Beverly Beat that her parents were old hippies? If that's the case why are they such a holes now? I hate Matt and Gina, watching/reading this again after having jot watched it for so long I now remember how bad this last season was. Why couldn't Brandon just come back at the end to be with Kelly. So dumb.
10/12/2021 06:19:01 am
She did but in a later episode she admitted that she made that up to intrigue Steve or make him think she was into free love/sex.
3/17/2021 02:08:21 pm
These recaps cracks me up! They are sassy and snarky and very thorough. I love them!
9/1/2021 04:08:23 pm
On it seeming like Janet has only been pregnant for like 3 months, that may be for the reason that 3 months is approximately the amount of time between her telling anyone she was pregnant and the baby coming early. It said she was 4 months pregnant when she announced it, and then when going into labor, she said “but I’m not even in my 8th month,” (out of 9,) which means the whole time we were aware of her pregnancy, was pretty much months 5, 6, and 7.
1/14/2022 01:32:08 pm
Oh really Matt? You've wanted to propose to Kelly ever since you met her? You mean when you were slobbering all over Donna and barely looking at Kelly?
9/24/2022 11:36:57 am
Plus, how could Matt say he wanted to propose immediately upon meeting…he was still married!
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