Recap: Brandon is in the driveway, working on his car, when Brenda ambles over to him. She's in a complaining mood, griping about the lack of a typical winter in California, and then how she had to go to three different video rental places to find Dirty Dancing to watch while she babysits that evening. She's suitably embarrassed when Dylan McKay suddenly wheels himself out from under Brandon's car, where he was working. He eyes Brenda's shorts clad bod appreciatively, and she flirts back with him while Brandon just looks nauseated at the thought of his friend and his sister hooking up. Their flirty banter is interrupted when Brenda has to go inside to take a phone call. As fate would have it, her babysitting gig for that evening has been canceled because the babysittee has chicken pox.
Papa Walsh strolls outside and has a brief chat with Dylan. He's being kind of nosy about how someone as young as Dylan could afford to own a Porsche, but Dylan's cryptic response reveals nothing. He's looking pretty dirty and disheveled from working on Brandon's car and asks for Papa Walsh's permission to use the bathroom so he can shower and get cleaned up.
He uses the upstairs bathroom that connects to Brenda's bedroom, and while he's showering, Brenda assumes that it's Brandon and starts bitching about him leaving the door open. She's shocked when Dylan appears from behind the see-through shower curtain, but unfortunately isn't able to sneak much of a peek since it looks as though he's covering his lower extremities pretty well. She retreats to her bedroom, and as Dylan is drying himself off, he invites Brenda to come along with him and Brandon to a Marx Brothers film festival. And so it begins - it being the relentless, romantically tumultuous saga of Brenda and Dylan.
Movie theater. Brandon finds himself third-wheeling it with Dylan and Brenda when they all go to see Animal Crackers. After the movie, Dylan invites the twins to his place to listen to CDs and hang out. This place is different from his suite at the Bel Age Hotel, but Dylan doesn't offer much of an explanation as to why he now lives in this new hotel room/apartment. The three amigos order take-out and have a delightful time together.
West Beverly High. Brenda gives Kelly a full run-down of the previous evening, and Kelly's post-date analysis leads her to the conclusion that Dylan is interested in Brenda. Brenda argues that it might have been just a friendly outing, but Kelly disagrees and points out that Dylan isn't known to waste time on just anyone. Whatever was in Dylan's heart at that moment, I'm just pleased that Kelly seems genuinely happy for Brenda, given that she only recently had her eye on Dylan. That delicious love triangle will have to wait a couple of years.
Sex education class. Scott is complaining to David that there's girls in the class, and he's complaining with his usual 'I'm-a-dumb-yokel' facial expression. Is this kid not from L.A.? I don't get why he always looks like he just dropped out of the sky from Hillbilly Town. The teacher then hands out consent forms, because participation in the upcoming sex education seminars requires parental permission.
The Walsh house. Brandon is stretched out on the couch, sneezing and wheezing. In other words, he's out of commission to go to the film festival to make a threesome with Brenda and Dylan, which of course means that Brenda and Dylan will now be a twosome. Papa Walsh, who is generally pretty slow on the uptake, only clues in to this fact well after Brenda has dashed out the door, jumped into Dylan's Porsche and sped away. Papa Walsh is not pleased that Brenda is out with Dylan, in particular because his father - Jack McKay - is notorious for his lack of business ethics.
Movie theater. Dylan suggests to Brenda that they skip out on the movie and go to his place to hang out again. However, when he and Brenda enter his hotel room/apartment, they see that his father is there having a meeting with some men. Papa McKay stalks over to Dylan and snarks that he needs to talk to him, and then physically yanks him away from Brenda. The two go into another room and have a very confusing argument, since it's unclear why either of them is angry, or exactly what the problem is. After a few minutes, Dylan walks out on his father and heads straight for the booze, which is conveniently laid out on a tray in the hallway. Brenda starts to freak out because she knows that if Dylan gets shit-faced, she won't have anyone to drive her home later. She really does need to sort out her driving issues instead of expecting others to tote her around town all the time.
Brenda and Dylan leave the hotel room/apartment - and Dylan's in a dark, scary mood. After several failed attempts at upbeat conversation, Brenda asks the concierge/doorman to call her a taxi, but Dylan snaps that he doesn't want her to leave. He then picks up a flower pot and throws it down, smashing it to pieces. His anger freaks Brenda out, and she takes off running. Dylan runs after her, catches her, and hugs her from behind and apologizes. He begs her not to leave him alone, but she cries that he's scaring her. He explains that his dad always "gets to him". I'm still not clear what it is that his dad does which gets to him so much, but I think we're supposed to regard Jack McKay as a giant arse-hole and just leave it at that. Which I can certainly do. Dylan hugs Brenda desperately, and soon his anger and anxiety melt away and the two kiss passionately.
Sex education class. As the teacher collects consent forms, Scott laments to David that he doesn't think his mother will sign the form. He's sure she'll say that sex education in school is something that would give him the wrong message. It might also reveal that he hasn't yet grown a set of balls like all the other boys his age have.
In the hallway, Dylan explains to Brandon that he and Brenda ended up skipping out on the movie last night...and then Brenda suddenly appears and kisses Dylan hello. Dylan then puts his arm around Brenda. When their kissy-kissy togetherness has sufficiently icked Brandon out, they leave together, hand in hand.
The Walsh house. It's dinner time and Papa Walsh is getting on Brenda's case about dating Dylan. When he tells her that he doesn't want her getting involved with him, she snarls, "It's a little late for that." It is? I don't think so - they've barely been out on one real date. Brenda angrily retorts that she'll make plans with Kelly this weekend instead of seeing Dylan, and then sarcastically thanks her father for dinner. To cap it off, she gives him a lingering squinty stink-eye and growls, "It's been real." Nice to see you again, Inner Bitch. I guess not even Papa Walsh is immune from the wrath of Brenda's scary alter ego.
Brenda's bedroom. Mama Walsh tip-toes in and chats pleasantly with her moody daughter, careful not to provoke another unpleasant tantrum. Personally, I think she's a little frightened of the Inner Bitch. She cheerfully signs Brenda's consent form for the sex education class, and the two talk in general terms about sex and relationships. After a few minutes, Kelly arrives to pick up Brenda for a night of pretend studying. On her way out, Brenda snipes at Brandon for not sticking up for her at dinner...but he really has no defense other than he's still very icked out by the thought of her hooking up with one of his close male friends.
Kelly's house. Brenda is railing to Kelly about her father being determined to take away the most exciting thing to happen to her since moving to Beverly Hills. Kelly doesn't consider this to be much of a problem and advises her to ignore the rantings of her father, keep her date with Dylan, and use her as an alibi if the need arises. She also provides Brenda with a condom, cautioning her not to rely on the guy for birth control. That's excellent advice, since this show isn't yet able to feature a teen pregnancy storyline involving a principal character, because it probably can't be neatly resolved in one self-contained episode.
West Beverly High. Dylan and Brenda, are sitting under a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...and also laughing and wrestling. Brandon is sitting nearby and notices their romantic horseplay. He has that nauseated look on his face again, and this blatant public display is making me feel a little queasy too.
Sex education class. A special assembly that will feature a female speaker is planned for the class, but only those students who turned in signed consent forms will be permitted to attend. Steve is very excited about having a "sex expert" come to the high school to share all of her sexy secrets with him and his classmates. Scott, on the other hand, couldn't bring himself to ask his sexually repressed mother to sign the consent form, so there won't be any sexy secrets for him.
Dylan is rushing down the hallway when he is intercepted by Brandon, still looking nauseous. Brandon lays his cards on the table and tells Dylan that he'd better really like Brenda because she is a very romantic, dreamy, and sweet kind of girl. Wuh? Did Brenda acquire a new personality to add to her other two? Brandon continues to mortify his sister in absentia by revealing to Dylan that she's a virgin. Jesus, Brandon...why don't you just give him Brenda's diary while you're at it? Dylan is deeply insulted that Brandon obviously thinks so little of his character and storms off.
The Walsh house. Kelly and Donna are excitedly helping Brenda choose an outfit for her secret date with Dylan. From the bathroom doorway, Brandon watches the giggling gaggle with dismay. At the movie theater, Brenda eagerly waits for Dylan to arrive...but after a long while, it's clear that he's not coming. She's been stood up.
The Walsh house. Brenda is sitting on the window seat in her bedroom, looking sad and broken-hearted. Brandon offers to talk about it with her, but she tells him that she and Kelly have already conducted a full analysis of Dylan's no-show over the phone. But she does share with him that she'd been planning to spend the night with Dylan. The condom that Kelly gave her had been inside her purse, patiently waiting for the right moment to come out of its plastic wrapper. But now Brenda thinks that Dylan didn't think she was special enough, and she can't figure out what she did wrong.
West Beverly High. Brandon finds Dylan in the computer lab and confronts him about standing up Brenda. Dylan exudes his usual slouchy mellowness, and doesn't offer much of an explanation except to mumble that something came up and that he had to move...but that none of it had anything to do with Brenda. Brandon, however, isn't satisfied and needlessly divulges to him that Brenda was extremely upset all weekend and had to take a day off school so that she could continue crying in her pillow. The only thing worse than being talked about is being talked about by a gossipy sibling who goes and tells the hot guy who just rejected you that you cried over him for three days straight.
In the school parking lot, Steve encounters the sex education teacher. He's having car problems. He's supposed to drive to the airport to pick up the guest speaker, who's presenting at the assembly the next day, and then bring her to the Bel Age Hotel. Steve sees an opportunity for a one-on-one meeting with a "sex expert", and eagerly offers to do the errand.
The Bel Age Hotel. Steve escorts Stacy, the "sex expert", to her hotel room. He pretends to be a teacher, flirts with her relentlessly, and then asks her out for that evening. Smooth, Steve. Fortunately, Stacy doesn't look dumb or gullible enough to believe that Steve is really a teacher (or even a legally consenting adult), and she politely but firmly declines his smarmy offer.
The Walsh house. The doorbell rings and it's Dylan. Brenda lets him in, but then ignores him and goes back to sitting on the couch. He apologizes about standing her up the other night, but she's all standoffish and calls him an idiot. Nice to see you again so soon, Inner Bitch. Dylan explains that on the night of their date, his father discovered he was going to be indicted on some charges related to securities fraud, and so had to flee the country. Dylan had to help him pack, and then move himself to the nearest Travelodge. This sad tale has put Brenda in more of a forgiving mood, and she accepts his apology. They kiss, and Dylan gently remarks that she's so warm. Wuh? Brenda's warm? Even without her Inner Bitch popping out every now and then, I find Brenda to be fairly cold and prickly at the best of times. But somehow Dylan is under the illusion that she's warm, and the two of them get into some pretty heavy petting on the couch.
Eventually Brenda hears Papa Walsh's car pull into the driveway. She jumps off of the couch and gives Dylan the bum's rush towards the kitchen door...but it's the very door that Papa Walsh is entering through. Dylan wisely beats a hasty retreat, leaving Brenda to deal with her pissed-off father. After a cringe-worthy argument between father and daughter, we learn that Papa Walsh is actually less concerned with the bad influence of Jack McKay's unethical behavior than he is with the idea of Dylan and Brenda doinking.
West Beverly High. The special assembly with Stacy the "sex expert" is about to get underway. Scott doesn't have permission to attend, so on his way to study hall, he asks David to take notes for him. David urges him to slip into the auditorium and attend the assembly even without permission, but Scott is too much of a nancy to risk it. This bumpkin is really becoming a chore to watch.
Stacy takes the podium and begins her talk. Turns out she's not really there to talk about sex per se, but rather to scare the bejezus out of any student who might ever contemplate having sex. Stacy has AIDS, and she got it the first time she had sex. As for the man she slept with...well, he's dead. In about two minutes, she's frightened and depressed everyone in the audience, along with the faculty sitting behind her on stage. When she's done, everyone offers her their applause, but they look completely shell-shocked.
Steve approaches Stacy after her talk, apologizing for acting like such a fat douchetard in her hotel room the day before. She's cool about it, and says she only cares that her message about safe sex was heard. Steve says that his offer for dinner still stands the next time she's in town, and then gives her a friendly hug. Nicely done, bro.
The Walsh house. Dylan comes over to take out Brenda. Now that Papa Walsh has given his blessing regarding their budding romance, he chats amicably with Dylan about his father. Dylan scores big points when he confides that he's never been comfortable being Jack McKay's son and that Brenda and Brandon are lucky to have the parents they have. Brenda comes downstairs wearing a skin tight red top, and for a minute I thought Papa Walsh might object, or at least frown upon her clothing choice...but he doesn't. And so, Dylan and Brenda head off on their date.
The two go for a walk, and enjoy a beautiful view of the city. Brenda tentatively approaches the topic of sex and asks Dylan if he's ever been with someone when he wasn't protected. She doesn't want to end up like Stacy. Dylan admits that he has had unprotected sex - but is willing to get tested before they doink. Ew.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!