Recap: The telephone rings at around 11:00pm at the Walsh house, and it's Brandon's ex-girlfriend, Minneapolis Sheryl. He's very happy to hear from her, and appears thrilled when she announces she's coming to visit him during the coming weekend. Mama and Papa Walsh also seem happy about the news, which they learn by eavesdropping on his conversation.
West Beverly High. Brandon asks Ahn-drea if she can find someone else to cover the football game for him on the weekend, because something important has come up. She correctly assumes it has something to do with a woman. Brandon tells her that his old girlfriend from Minnesota is visiting for the weekend, and naturally Ahn-drea gets all nosy and in his face about their relationship. How long were they together? How exactly did they break up? For whatever reason, Brandon indulges her and discloses that he and Sheryl dated for a year and broke up just before moving to California. (None of this needs to matter to you, Ahn-drea, because Brandon is never ever going to love you. Never.)
Brenda, Kelly, and Donna appear in the hallway, and Brenda admires the youthful looking algebra teacher standing ahead of them. He's alright I guess - though not nearly as studly as Brenda is making him out to be. As the girls enter the classroom, Mr. Algebra quips to Brenda that class wouldn't be the same if she weren't there, or something along those lines...and the girls react in typical schoolgirl fashion, giggling and cooing. After class, Mr. Algebra asks Brenda to stay behind. Brenda fantasizes that he's fallen in love with her and wants to be with her...but when she snaps out of it, he's asking her if she can babysit for him and his wife. She accepts, but looks disappointed.
The Blaze newsroom. Ahn-drea continues to stick her big fat nose where it doesn't belong and grills Brandon about whether or not he's nervous about Sheryl coming to visit, why he isn't more of a nervous wreck, and where this girl's going to sleep. Keep in mind that he's never ever going to love you, Ahn-drea.
Brandon puts the kibosh on her inquisition, leaves the newsroom, and promptly bumps into David Silver, causing him to drop all of his stuff on the floor. Dylan happens to be passing by at that moment...and, well, it really looks as though he came to school that day in his pajamas. He tells Brandon that he wants to meet his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend, technically) during her weekend visit, and we can safely assume that no good will come of that.
When Brandon gets home from school, he's surprised to find that Sheryl has already arrived. She and Brandon kiss hello, and Brenda and Mama Walsh leave them alone so they can catch up.
In Brandon's bedroom, the two look over their high school yearbook and relive fond memories. He's clearly still dazzled by her, and she is fairly cute. But there's no chance for any stolen moments of hanky-panky, because Mama Walsh interrupts their kissing to bring in pillows and blankets and then looks very reluctant to leave them alone together.
The bathroom. Sheryl's about to take a shower when Brandon knocks on the door to kiss her goodnight. He wants her to sneak into his room in forty-five minutes, but Sheryl isn't so sure it's a good idea. She wants their first time to be special, and nothing could be more unspecial that doing it in your boyfriend's parents' house without trying to make a sound because his parents and sister are just down the hall. She tells Brandon she's going to have to think about it. And so, Brandon lies in bed, holding his pocket rocket, while Sheryl lies in her bed looking contemplative and totally not into a late night romp. For a few minutes it looks doubtful that she'll do it, but then gets up and tip-toes into Brandon's room. Protection is discussed, produced, and made use of...we will assume.
Mama Walsh, whose ears are peeled for any sounds of coitus, springs awake. She nudges Papa Walsh and tells him that they have a responsibility to put a stop to any teenagers engaging in sex in their home. Papa Walsh assures his wife he'll have a talk with Brandon about it in the morning...after the kids have already had sex.
The next morning, Brandon is looking super chipper, dancing to loud music, and making freshly squeezed orange juice. He kisses Sheryl good morning and tells her "it" was amazing, and the two decide to skip the freshly squeezed orange juice to hit the road. Sheryl wants to go see movie stars. Papa Walsh wants to have a father-son sex chat, but misses the opportunity.
Brandon and Sheryl drive around LA, and she takes tons of pictures while sticking her head out of the moving car. We actually see some of these photos during a pointless montage, and they all look blurry and terrible. What a waste of money those prints are going to be. Eventually the two end up at the Bel Age Hotel for breakfast, and Sheryl asks the waitress if she knows any movie stars. Good grief.
Dylan, who lives at the hotel, shows up at the table and joins them. After a few minutes, Brandon excuses himself to use the washroom, leaving Sheryl alone with Dylan. She asks him if he knows any movie stars. Dylan doesn't know any, but he humors the bumpkin and tells her about an exclusive dance club, Contact, where she might possibly run into some movie stars. But when Dylan asks about her and Brandon, out of nowhere she gets weirdly hostile about him, particularly about the fact that they live so far apart now. I'm beginning to think that what happened the previous night was some kind of revenge doink.
The Walsh house. Sheryl tells Brenda that Dylan is going to get them into Contact; Brenda doesn't have much to say about it, other than calling Dylan a "wild child". But then, she's otherwise engaged transforming herself into a gypsy peasant for her babysitting gig.
Mama Walsh bugs Papa Walsh about talking to Brandon about him and Sheryl not having sex because she thinks it's unacceptable behavior in their house. Sorry, Cindy, but the horse is already out of the barn on that.
Brandon is waiting downstairs for Sheryl when Dylan arrives and honks from the driveway. What is with these Beverly Hills teens always honking from the driveway? Would it kill them to walk a few feet and ring the doorbell like civilized people? Papa Walsh chooses that moment to try for the father-son sex chat, but everyone is rushing out the door for the evening. Give it up, Jim - we've got much bigger problems brewing. Sheryl is eying Dylan and his Porsche appreciatively, and wants to ride with him to the club instead of with Brandon. Ouch.
Brenda arrives for her evening of babysitting. Mr. Algebra introduces her to his wife, who is a bitchy shrew, and clearly not thrilled with his choice of babysitter. Their little boy, Elliot, is as rude as his mother; he grabs Brenda's purse and dumps its contents on the ground. She looks dismayed and is obviously regretting agreeing to babysit.
At Contact, there's a long line to get in. Brandon distracts the bouncer and darts inside. And then - uh oh - Dylan and Sheryl are on the dance floor together, in each others' arms. When Brandon finds them, he's all piss and vinegar as he complains that he had to crash inside because the bouncer didn't have his name on a list. Dylan and Sheryl insist that they did speak to the bouncer about letting him in, but Brandon doesn't believe it. The whole exchange angers Sheryl and she stomps off to the bathroom. Dylan remarks to Brandon that she is wild, and on sensory overload. I think she's bipolar or maybe has multiple personality disorder, since she's been acting like a completely different person from one scene to the next in this episode.
Brandon accuses Dylan of hitting on his girlfriend, but Dylan denies it and claims that she hit on him. Oh no he diin't! An outraged Brandon punches him in the face, and Dylan roughs him up a bit and yells at him to figure out who his friends are, and then storms off.
Sheryl is at the bar having a fruity drink when Brandon strides up to her and announces they're leaving. But she doesn't want to leave, and their conversation degenerates into a nasty fight. She's clearly still pissed off about their breakup in Minneapolis, and drops the bomb that she had already had sex before coming out to California. Brandon gets livid and demands to know who the guy is. Does it really matter at this point? Sheryl refuses to tell him any details and storms off. There is an awful lot of storming off and stomping away from Brandon in this episode. Brandon angrily smashes her fruity drink with his fist, sending lemon slices and glass shards flying in all directions. He then runs out of the club after Sheryl, and helplessly watches her get into a cab and drive away.
Brenda is being a dutiful babysitter, playing a board game with the two kids. The doorbell rings and it's Kelly and Donna, who came by to see where their hot algebra teacher lives. Kelly is less than charmed by the kids, who pull her hair and smear chocolate all over her. While rummaging through the house, Kelly and Donna find a photo album and lust over photos of Mr. Algebra, referring to him as "a babe". Please...at best, the man is mildly attractive. At that moment, Mr. Algebra and his shrewish wife return home early from the movie, and the wife is angry that the girls are perusing their photo album. The scene quickly cuts to the Walsh's driveway, where Kelly is dropping off Brenda. And then the storyline just dies right there...as well it should. The whole thing was utterly pointless.
Brenda's bedroom. Mama Walsh tells Brenda that Sheryl didn't inform her parents that she was coming to LA. She just ran away, and they're very worried. I'm worried that she left her mood stabilizing medication behind.
The Bel Age Hotel. Brandon goes to Dylan's hotel room to enlist his help to search for Sheryl, but it turns out she's already there. Dylan quickly explains that it's not what it looks like, and that she's puking in the bathroom from drinking too much. Dylan repeats to Brandon that he did not come on to her, suggests that the girl has serious problems, and offers to leave them alone so they can talk. Sheryl emerges from the bathroom and tells Brandon about her sad, lonely, problematic life...and also admits running away from home without telling anyone. Brandon responds to her emotional purge by calling room service and ordering ice cream.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh tells Papa Walsh and Brenda all about the tense situation that is Sheryl's home life. Turns out her parents are divorced and feuding. After eating their ice cream, Brandon and Sheryl return home and Sheryl immediately goes upstairs to call her mother. Papa Walsh chooses this inopportune moment to try once more for a father-son sex chat, but Brandon suggests putting it off until tomorrow. Poor, blockheaded Jim...the weekend is pretty much over now, the two already had sex, and Sheryl is returning to Minneapolis in a matter of hours to resume her life. It's time to let it go.
Brandon's bedroom. Brandon tells Brenda that there was so much about Sheryl he didn't know, particularly all of the problems with her parents. Now he just wants to say goodbye and end the relationship.
The next morning, Sheryl is packing, getting ready to fly home. She gives Brandon an ego trip about his lovemaking and tells him he's a wonderful lover...and tells him this loudly in the foyer of the Walsh house. Brenda is nearby, hears it, and looks up at Brandon with a shocked expression before running off somewhere to gouge her ears out.
Later on, Brandon and his dad are playing basketball in the driveway. Papa Walsh is wearing an awful red tank top that showcases his abundant shoulder, forearm, and back hair. Ew. And if that isn't bad enough, he finally sees an opening to initiate the father-son sex chat that has eluded him throughout the entire episode.