Recap: On the campus of West Beverly High, a bloodthirsty crowd has gathered to watch Steve and some guy in a striped shirt punch the snot out of each other. Everyone's just standing around, cheering them on like savages when superhero and resident do-gooder Brandon Walsh jumps in and separates the two lunkheads. As the crowd disperses, Brandon asks Steve how the fight started, and Steve tells him that the guy said something about his mother being a washed up actress. Well...d'yuh. She sort of is washed up, isn't she? We haven't heard about anything Samantha Sanders has done since The Hartley House. Brandon scolds his friend for fighting a guy who's built like a "wide truck load" because he could have gotten himself hurt. Steve is touched that Brandon always has his back and tells him how glad he is that he moved to California.
Papa Walsh's office. Papa Walsh is toiling away when one of his colleagues comes in and asks him if he knows what's going on. Some guy named Henry Powell - who I'm guessing is the company's CEO - is in town, and everyone suspects that something big is brewing. The colleague expresses concern about possible layoffs and warns Papa Walsh to beware of a lunch invitation, since this is usually how employees are given their walking papers. Not two seconds later, Papa Walsh's secretary buzzes him to inform that he's been summoned to the executive dining room tomorrow to eat lunch with Henry Powell. Oh no!
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh and her maidservant Anna are in the kitchen, displaying an assortment of herbs to Brenda and Brandon, who convincingly feign an interest in the plants. Papa Walsh arrives home from work looking stressed and asks to speak to his wife privately. He tells her he could be in deep doo-doo at work, since it's very possible he might receive a layoff notice the next day at lunch. Brandon overhears this troubling news and runs straight to Brenda to fill her in. The two sit in their communal bathroom and brood about their impending poverty, and Brandon expresses regret that they haven't always appreciated how good they've had it in California.
Executive dining room. Papa Walsh is surprised and dismayed to see that Henry Powell is the only person present for their lunch. He's polite but tense, and Powell says he's going to cut right to the chase. He makes an observation that Papa Walsh hasn't been very happy in California, and then the scene abruptly ends.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh is in the kitchen, preparing a nutritious dinner in the company of Brenda and Kelly. A few minutes later Brandon and Steve also enter, and we see that Steve is wearing a patch over one eye...like a pirate. Mama Walsh expresses concern and asks what happened, so Brandon explains that Steve got wounded "in the line of duty". It's not clear if he has a black eye from the fight we saw at the beginning of the episode, or if he got himself into a different fight. Papa Walsh arrives home from work, this time looking dazed. He politely asks Steve and Kelly to leave so that the Walshes can have a family meeting.
Brenda, Brandon, and Mama Walsh are sitting on the couch, bracing for the news that he's been laid off. As Papa Walsh struggles to explain what happened at work that day, Brenda and Brandon jump up to interject and promise to get jobs so they can pitch in with the household expenses. Papa Walsh quickly assures them he hasn't been fired, but rather promoted to Executive Vice President. Everyone is thrilled, and they congratulate and hug him just before he drops the bomb that is the "wrinkle" in this happy news: his new job is in Minneapolis. Brenda and Brandon are not happy with this wrinkle and have no desire to leave Beverly Hills, as it was confirmed during the pilot episode that they've "made it here". Papa Walsh tells them that if he accepts the position, his boss would need him to start right away, which means that a move would happen immediately. But Papa Walsh is willing to allow this decision to be made as a family, and so a vote is taken...and everyone except for him votes for the family to stay in California.
In the privacy of their bedroom, Papa Walsh gets a little pissy at Mama Walsh for voting to stay. He thought the vote would at least be a tie, and that he could convince Brandon to change his vote to "yes" after some bribing and pandering. Papa Walsh reluctantly calls his boss to tell him he's turning down the offer...but after a brief conversation, he hangs up the phone looking very befogged. He's apparently such an impressive accounting wizard that Henry Powell has offered to double his salary if he takes the Minneapolis job! Papa Walsh is now unwilling to negotiate the decision further. He's taking the high-paying job in Minneapolis, and his family will have to move to the Midwest, kicking and screaming...and that's that.
In the kitchen, Brenda and Brandon drown their sorrows in bowls of ice cream. Things were just starting to feel right for both of them here. Brandon was about to get a raise at the Peach Pit and buy a new car, and Brenda was just starting to get regularly doinked by Dylan. The two sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and write down the pros and cons of moving back to Minneapolis. They write down things like new friends, old friends, the beach, warm weather, cold weather, seasons, blah blah...
West Beverly High. During the lunch hour, the gang is sitting in a circle looking sad. No one wants Brenda and Brandon to move away. Kelly thinks of a way to delay the inevitable, which is to invite Brenda to spend the summer at her house.
The Peach Pit. Brandon apologizes to Nat for leaving him in the lurch. Nat doesn't hold it against him, but tells him he's sad to see him go because he got used to having him around...and since all the other kids at West Beverly High are too spoiled and self-entitled to have jobs, it's hard for a diner owner to find decent part-time help. Ahn-drea stops by to ask Brandon if he'd like to have a goodbye dinner - for just the two of them. Brandon says yes, and that he's free anytime, so she suggests getting together tomorrow evening.
The Walsh house. Brenda looks at Brandon with a funny mixture of incredulity and disdain as she exclaims, "Ahn-drea Zuckerman asked you out on a date?!" Brandon explains that it's not a date in the true sense of the word, but rather a farewell dinner...a business thing. A business thing? Ouch.
Papa Walsh is about to leave for Minneapolis to start his new job as Executive Vice President. On his way out he tells Brenda that he doesn't want her to spend the summer with Kelly and split up the family. Brenda snaps that he "started it" and stalks off. Unfazed by her bitchitude, Papa Walsh boasts to Brandon that the company is sweetening the deal for him by getting him a company car, which means that his current car is up for grabs. Brandon is easily susceptible to bribery, so this news makes him happy...and after a few minutes, Brenda slinks back into the foyer to hug Papa Walsh goodbye.
West Beverly High. Brandon runs into Steve and asks how his damaged eye is doing. Steve snaps that it's not his problem, dude, and walks away. Elsewhere on campus, Dylan tells Brenda that the thought of her leaving really wiped him out...and that he's going to miss her. Kelly and Donna then come over to join them, and Kelly breaks the news that her mom decided against allowing Brenda to spend the summer at their house. After her stint in rehab, she's still readjusting to life as a sober person and thinks that a summer-long house-guest would be too much pressure. Especially considering it's Brenda.
The Walsh house. Brenda is whining to her mother about her impending separation from Dylan. She can't expect such a hot commodity to stay faithful to her if she's living more than a thousand miles away. Brenda tells Mama Walsh that every girl at Beverly High and West Beverly High wants him, which I think is a gross overestimate of his slouchy, I'm-too-cool-for-school persona. Brandon arrives home from school, and he and Brenda have a sad discussion about how their friends are already starting to make plans without them. He then tells his mother and sister that he now has to "give up a friend".
Pier. Ahn-drea and Brandon are leisurely strolling along. She coyly tells him she has a surprise for him, and when he asks what it is, she's all mysterious and annoying about it. She tells him they first have to "get in the saddle", and the next scene cuts to them riding on a carousel. Brandon is eager to know what the big surprise is, so she tells him she has a going-away present for him, and then stammers and giggles and goes, "Ta da!" Brandon clearly has no idea what the hell she's talking about, so she spells it out for him: she wants their goodbye to be a moment they'll both remember...and so she's offering up her virginity to him if he's willing to take it. Oh. My. &%$#@ God. Brandon stares back at her with a look of bewilderment, and I'm laughing, cringing, and dry-heaving all at the same time.
The beach. Brandon is strolling on the sand with Brenda and tells her he's considering taking Ahn-drea up on her offer to deflower her. He claims that he once considered doing her, but ruled it out because of their friendship...and also because the idea of hitting the sheets with Ahn-drea has never given him too much of a hard-on. He tells Brenda he thinks that Ahn-drea is pretty, and Brenda agrees and says they'd make a great couple. OK, sure - it's safe to say such an outlandish thing now that they're about to leave town forever. The two see Dylan further down the beach with his surfboard. Brenda tells Brandon she doesn't know how to deal with him now that they've started doinking, and Brandon looks shocked and gets all mad that he didn't know about the doinking...which is a little weird considering that Dylan had pretty much admitted to Brandon that he and Brenda were planning to spend some alone time in a hotel room during the evening of the spring dance.
Minneapolis. Papa Walsh returns to his old workplace and is hailed by the staff as if he's a conquering hero. He seems happy to be back, until his secretary reads him his busy, tightly packed schedule of meetings...which suddenly makes him look overwhelmed and depressed.
Dylan runs over to Brenda and Brandon. He asks to speak to Brenda privately, so Brandon gives them some time alone. Brenda confesses to Dylan that long distance relationships scare her, but he counters with the old adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." He then does an abrupt 180 and suggests running away together, which they both know isn't a feasible idea.
West Beverly High. Brandon runs into Ahn-drea and tells her he's been thinking about her going-away present. She admits that serving up her virginity to him may have been impulsive...and he agrees and starts to walk away, but then runs back and tells her he wants her to be impulsive. And so he accepts her offer to bump uglies and would like to do so that very evening. They give each other an awkward peck on the lips, which makes Ahn-drea start to hyperventilate...but she manages to recover in time to engage in a longer, more amorous kiss. Ew.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh is on the phone with Papa Walsh, who's crazy busy with his new job. He had to cancel dinner plans with their good friends in Minneapolis, and Mama Walsh is concerned that this job is going to turn him into a workaholic.
The Peach Pit. Ahn-drea stops by to tell Brandon that they won't be able to knock boots that evening because she forgot it's her mother's sister's birthday. Seriously? Ahn-drea then goes through her day planner and declares that she's free on Sunday...except that her father is hosting a Sunday night poker game, so it might be awkward if Brandon starts to poke 'er in the next room. Badoom bah! Brandon says he has a solution and produces a key that he dubs "the key to our happiness". It's the Peach Pit key. So now the plan is for the two of them to fulfill their carnal desires on the floor of a disgusting greasy spoon - an idea that's just all-around yuck. So then Ahn-drea leaves, and Steve pops by the Peach Pit for no other purpose than to pretend as though he can't wait for Brandon to leave town. After a few minutes he storms out, calling the restaurant a dump. Well d'yuh.
Dylan's bed. Brenda is having a sad post-coital moment. She's in tears, telling Dylan they need to break up, and that she just wanted to doink with him one last time. But Dylan doesn't want them to break up and actually believes the two of them could survive a long distance relationship throughout their high school years. He's madder than a hatter, this boy.
The beach. Brandon wants to talk things out with Steve, who's still behaving like a giant baby over the Walsh's imminent return to Minnesota. Steve tells Brandon he feels like a fool for opening himself up to him, which is so silly because he should feel like a fool for the generally stupid way he behaves toward all people each and every day. Brandon then starts yammering about how he didn't feel like he belonged in L.A. for a long time and had a bad wipe-out when he first tried to surf. At best it's a muddled analogy, but it serves to soften Steve, and he tells Brandon he'll miss him...and the two friends shake hands.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh is getting everything packed up, while Brenda mopes around uselessly and stares at a photo of her and Dylan. She's ticked off that Papa Walsh is ruining their lives by making them move back to the Midwest, but her mother explains that careers can be complicated...and that the world can't always revolve around self-centered teenage girls. The phone rings and it's Papa Walsh, who's so swamped with paperwork that he's going to have to take a later flight back to California. This doesn't make Mama Walsh happy, but at this point Papa's looking pretty unhappy himself.
The Peach Pit. Brandon enters the diner and sees Ahn-drea at the end of the counter, wearing a red sex-suit that looks totes ridiculous on her. She beckons him over and talks sexy talk before Brandon suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat. He's still at the beach with Steve, and fell asleep on a towel. He jumps up and tells Steve he has a date...but is careful not to reveal who he's planning to schtup.
The Walsh house. Papa Walsh ends up catching an earlier flight after all. He's brought with him a stack of work and looks tired and harassed. Mama Walsh and Brenda are happy to see him, and in the midst of his homecoming, the phone rings. It's Nat, claiming that he can't get a hold of Brandon, and is in desperate need of Brenda's waitressing skills at the Peach Pit. This seems fishy and contrived because, for one thing, Brenda isn't actually one of his employees, but also because she proved what a horrible waitress she is when he temporarily hired her in the Fame is Where You Find It episode. Mama Walsh, who must be in on whatever surprise is being planned, urges Brenda to go and "help" Nat. Reluctantly Brenda agrees.
The Peach Pit. Brandon meets Ahn-drea in front of the locked doors of the Peach Pit. He's now wondering if the Peach Pit is really the best place for them to be fornicating in, which sounds a lot like he's trying to back out of doing the deed. Ahn-drea responds by kissing him really amorously, and so Brandon hurriedly unlocks the door and...surprise! It's a farewell party for the Walsh twins! The whole gang from West Beverly High is there, including David and his video camera.
Ahn-drea discreetly tells Brandon that she turned to Kelly for sex advice and told her about their planned rendezvous at the Peach Pit. It then appears as though Kelly unilaterally decided to cock-block the naughty encounter by turning it into a surprise party with all their friends! Well done, Kelly. I salute your good judgement and resourcefulness. A few seconds later Brenda arrives at the diner, closely followed by her parents. Donna selects some music from the jukebox, and everyone takes turns standing in front of David's video camera to pontificate about what the Walsh twins have meant to them this past year. Steve talks about what a good influence Brandon has been on his shallow, meaningless existence, and Ahn-drea says that after initially writing off Brandon as a cute but conceited douchebag, their friendship has made it slightly more palatable for some of the other kids at West Beverly to also consider being friends with her. Dylan then stands in front of the lens but quickly decides that he's way too chill to be recorded while emotionally disemboweling himself and thus declares, "I don't do cameras." But off-camera he offers a moving tribute to Brandon for inviting him into his family, and to Brenda for saving him from becoming a teenage wino. He then refers to the Walshes as the only family he has, and hugs Brandon. By this time, Mama and Papa Walsh are on the verge of tears. A misty eyed Papa Walsh takes the floor and thanks everyone for letting their family become a part of their world. He acknowledges how hard it is for them to say goodbye - so they're not going to! He's going to pass on his promotion, along with the fat salary increase that goes along with it, and keep living their wonderful life in Beverly Hills. Everyone claps and cheers and starts dancing. As fucking if.
This sudden change of plans means that Ahn-drea and Brandon must now pretend that their friendship, and not Brandon's disinterest in her, must prevent them from hitting the sheets. For good measure, though, he asks Ahn-drea if she would have gone through with it, and she tells him he'll never know. But he remarks that he does know how good a kisser she is. For God's sake, Brandon...ew.
Mama Walsh is worried that Henry Powell will be furious with Papa Walsh for turning down the job in Minneapolis, but Papa Walsh doesn't care and just wants to dance with her.
Brenda discreetly tells Dylan that she's late, and he's all, "What are you late for?" So she tries to look even more gravely concerned and repeats that she's late. Late, Dylan. Late. Knocked up, expectant, in a family way, carrying a bun in her oven. LATE! He finally looks suitably worried, and they hug each other amid the dancing...and we now have a cliffhanger that provides a teeny tiny bit of incentive to start watching Season 2.