Recap: Brenda gets marched into the police station by two police officers, then goes through the booking process and gets her mug shot and fingerprints taken, and is tagged with a bracelet. After that, she's placed in a holding cell with a group of other bad women. A few minutes later, Dylan and Kelly arrive at the station and inquire about Brenda...well, Dylan does all the talking while Kelly just stands behind him, glowering. The sergeant on duty lists the charges against Brenda: burglary, criminal trespassing, and destruction of property. She also informs them that bail has been set at $50,000. Kelly snaps, "What now?!" and Dylan tells her they're going to have to tell Mama and Papa Walsh about their problem child's arrest. Kelly snarks that they should have done that in the first place, then bitches about how every time Brenda gets in trouble, Dylan's the first person she calls. Dylan gets annoyed and retorts that he's helping out one of their friends...and the two continue to bicker like an old married couple on their way back to the car.
The Walsh house. Brandon and Papa Walsh are enjoying an early breakfast, chatting about the golf tournament they're planning on playing in with Steve and his dad. The doorbell rings, and it's Steve and Papa Sanders - or Rush, as he calls himself. That's actually a cool name: Rush. The four stand in the foyer and chit-chat for a few minutes before heading out. Rush offers to drive everyone over to the golf course in his fancy new Bentley, and Steve accuses him of just wanting to show off. Rush snaps back that he has to break in his new car, then annoys his son further by offering to let Brandon drive. Suddenly, Dylan and Kelly pull into the driveway, and a grim-faced Dylan tells Papa Walsh he needs to talk to him like pronto...and the two head inside the house. In the next scene, Papa Walsh is discombobulated after hearing that Brenda got arrested, and says he's sure she's upstairs, sleeping. Dylan assures him that his idiot daughter is indeed languishing inside a cell at the county jail. Mama Walsh comes downstairs, still in her bathrobe, and Papa Walsh breaks the news to her about Brenda. Dylan informs them that bail has been set at $50,000, and the Walshes are aghast at the amount. Mama Walsh asks what Brenda did, and Dylan tells them she got caught breaking into the university's research lab. Mama Walsh wails, "What are we going to do?!" and Dylan says she's being arraigned at 9:30am.
Research lab. Ahn-drea and her boss are sifting through the mess left behind by the animal activists/terrorists. They recklessly freed all the animals from their cages, so now there are dozens of kittens, mice, and dogs roaming aimlessly around the building. Ahn-drea moans to her boss that they weren't hurting these animals - they were simply studying their sleep patterns. She then notices the cutest little puppy I've ever seen wandering around, and gently picks him up. Her boss tells her that all of the animals that were released during the break-in will be put up for adoption.
Court house. Papa Walsh has posted bail, and the family is in the courtroom, awaiting Brenda's arraignment. Papa Walsh tells his wife that the lab Brenda broke into was doing government research, which means she could be charged with a federal offense. Mama Walsh goes from looking aghast to ashen.
One of the animal rights activists, Jonathan (I guess he's just going by "Jon" now) is in a holding cell with the others. He angrily accuses Brenda of tipping off the cops, and Brenda swears she didn't tell anyone...but Jon continues to snarl accusations at her while the others order him to back off. A few minutes later Brenda's name is called, and she exits the cell, her hands still cuffed behind her.
Country club locker room. Rush is grumbling about how Papa Walsh and Brandon pulled a no-show at the tournament, so Steve irritably points out that they had to deal with Brenda's bail and arraignment. Rush says Papa Walsh could have quickly posted her bail, then rushed over to the golf course so they could all make their tee time...and he totally wasn't kidding when he said that. Some old guy appears in the locker room and tells Rush that he and Steve have been paired with a former nemesis: a baseball player named Barry Bonds - I mean Barry "Larson" (along with his father). Rush looks annoyed and worries that he'll lose the tournament to the Larsons, then snarks at Steve that he'd better be at the top of his game. In the next scene, they meet up with Barry Larson and his dad, and the two banter with Rush about why they each think they'll win the tournament, blah blah. Golf is boring, as is this superfluous sub-plot, which exists only to repeatedly demonstrate what a crappy father Rush is.
Court house. The judge lists the charges against Brenda and she pleads not guilty. Her lawyer attempts to get her bail reduced, but the judge denies the request, so it's held at $50,000. Her court date is scheduled in three weeks, but until then she's free to go. Mama Walsh is relieved that this part of the ordeal is over and that Brenda can come home.
Beach house. David finds a shoe that the late Rocky gnawed on and shows Donna. She puts on her sad face and says she misses him, then marvels at how finding a stray dog on campus has led to Brenda's current predicament. She wonders aloud what would have happened if she'd gone along with Brenda last night, but David says the point is she wouldn't have gone along. He adds that she has far better judgement than Brenda, who frequently has loose cannon tendencies.
The Walsh house. As Brenda sulks in the living room, an enraged Papa Walsh rails at her for the stupidest of her stupid antics from Seasons 2-4:
Papa Walsh says he thought her Vegas elopement would be the lamest thing she could ever possibly do...but now she's topped even that. Brenda tries to explain that she was fighting for something she believes in, and Mama Walsh wearily tells her that there are better ways of expressing her opinion. Brenda snarkishly points out that both she and Papa Walsh were involved in anti-war demonstrations in the '60s, and that Brandon led the 'Donna Martin graduates!' protest at the end of Season 3. Heh - another awesome episode. Papa Walsh tells her that the critical difference with those civil actions is that they were non-violent protests, whereas she was involved in an incident that caused property damage. Brenda stubbornly defends her actions, reminding them that animals are being mutilated and tortured for no reason, and that she wanted to make a difference. Papa Walsh tries to explain to his dimwitted daughter that she's nineteen years old and needs to get a firmer grasp of the consequences of her actions - like how she now has an arrest record for the rest of her life. Brenda half-heartedly apologizes, but says what she really needs right now is a hot soak and some sleep. Papa Walsh throws in the towel and lets her go upstairs, and then asks Mama Walsh what the hell they're going to do with her. Mama Walsh wimpishly remarks that jail was probably awful for Brenda, and Papa Walsh is like whatevs, and moans about how expensive the lawyer's fees are going to be when this thing goes to trial. As an afterthought, he remarks that it's possible Brenda could be found guilty and serve prison time...and the two hug despondently.
Brenda's in the upstairs bathroom, broodily staring at herself in the mirror when Brandon enters the room. He jokingly asks her how prison food is, and she snarks back that it's not funny. He quickly backpedals and says she really must have believed in what she was doing...and she sanctimoniously agrees, but says she has no desire to go to jail for an animal rights cause she took upless than four days ago. LOL. The doorbell rings, and Brenda suddenly goes, "Ack! Ahn-drea!" She wants Ahn-drea to hear about her involvement in the break-in directly from her. Mama Walsh yells up the stairs to Brandon that someone's here to see him. Brandon tells his sister that Papa Walsh got her a great lawyer, and assures her that everything will be OK.
Brandon goes downstairs to find Josh (blech) waiting for him. Josh says he heard that Brenda got arrested, and informs him that he's wrapping up the "Brandon" article and just has a few more questions. The two go into the living room, and Josh bitchily asks him how long he and Lucinda Nicholson have been having an affair. Good God - is he still beating that dead horse? Brandon denies it and calls the accusation libelous, but Josh insists he knows it's the truth. He asks Brandon why he brought Kelly to all the task force dinners and pretended to be boyfriend/girlfriend, and Brandon derisively tells him he's not a reporter digging for a story...and that this has gotten personal. He refers to what Josh is doing as blackmail, and Josh is like, "Well, d'yuh" and gives Brandon an ultimatum: if he backs him for student body president next year, he'll squash the story. Brandon glares at him and coldly retorts, "No deal" and tells him to run his fictitious article.
Golf course. Rush is being overly critical of Steve's form, and Steve snaps that this is precisely why he gave up the sport. His next shot is terrible, and when Rush has a bitchy freakout over it, Steve says he can't concentrate on his swing when he's constantly being yapped at. When it's Rush's turn, he makes an amazing shot, and the Larsons are very impressed.
Gym. Brandon makes a beeline right over to where Lucinda is sweatily working out. He asks her what she told Josh about them...and she says nothing, and that the guy was just on a fishing expedition. Brandon says that Josh clearly knows about them and accuses her of spilling the beans, then adds that now that she's received funding for her film and is leaving the university, she no longer cares who knows they were doinking. Frankly, I don't know why anyone would care that much about the sex life of a college freshman, even if he is doinking a faculty member. They're both consenting adults. Lucinda denies telling Josh anything, and as Brandon starts to stalk off, she asks him for one last kiss for old times' sake. He responds by asking her who she hit the sack with to get her grant (hee!), and she coldly snaps, "Have a nice life." Thank GAAAAWWWWD that disturbing hookup is finally over.
Brenda and Donna visit Ahn-drea in her and Jesse's lair. Ahn-drea tells them she's exhausted from cleaning up the lab all morning and isn't interested in rehashing old 'animal rights' arguments. Brenda tells her she came to apologize, and admits to being one of the extremists who got arrested for participating in the break-in. Ahn-drea gets really angry, so Donna tries to defend Brenda's actions by saying how hard it was to watch Rocky die. Brenda explains that she didn't go along with the extremists out of meanness - she did it to save the animals' lives...even though the only thing the group really accomplished was opening the animals' cages and and then abandoning the poor creatures to wander around the research building all night. Ahn-drea snaps that because of her actions, years of research has been destroyed. Jesse enters the room just as Brenda starts detailing what happened during the break-in, and he steps in and immediately tells her to shut it. He says he doesn't want Ahn-drea or himself to know what happened, otherwise they might be considered accessories after the fact and possibly get subpoenaed. He also advises Donna to cover her ears to avoid hearing the details.
As Donna pulls her BMW into the Walsh driveway, Brenda tells her how wigged out she is by what Jesse told them...and is indignant that he acted like she was a real criminal. Donna offers to come inside to hang out, but Brenda tells her that Casa Walsh is a tense place to be these days. She then says she's going to take a walk to clear her muddled head. As Brenda ambles down the street, we see that she's being watched by someone in a car: Jon.
The Walsh house. Papa Walsh is wrapping up a call with Brenda's lawyer and thanks him for his help. Afterward, he tells Brandon that with any luck, Brenda will avoid jail time. He then looks contemplative and says he doesn't know how he raised two kids who are so different. Brandon instantly looks guilt ridden and says he's not so different...but Papa Walsh insists that he is. He tells him he's proud of how bright and talented he is, and that one day he'll be a force to be reckoned with. Brandon hangs his head sheepishly and tells his dad that a reporter from the school's newspaper has been trying to dig up dirt on him, then admits he's been secretly doinking a twenty-six year old divorcee who's on the faculty. Papa Walsh scrunches his face in confusion, then shock. Brandon assures him the relationship's over, but he figured he should come clean about it in case word gets out. He dramatically pronounces that it will end his political career. That's cute. I didn't know nineteen year old Brandon had a political career. Papa Walsh looks really pissed off, remarks that this revelation momentarily distracted him from having to think about Brenda's latest fuck-up, then stalks out of the room.
Golf course. Rush, who has a one stroke lead, tells the Larsons he needs to get a new ball from his bag. Steve correctly guesses that his pa is pulling a fast one on the Larsons and calls him on it. Rush tells him he bought a contraption in the mail that "juices up" the insides of golf balls...and that this will give him the edge he needs to win the tournament. He snarks to a dismayed Steve that if he played better, he wouldn't have to cheat. Rush definitely has issues.
Dylan's house. Kelly and Dylan are sacked out in front of the fireplace, exhausted after dealing with the immediate aftermath of Brenda's arrest. Just as they start some heavy canoodling, there's a knock at the door...and it's Brenda. Kelly's annoyed at the interruption and warns Dylan about what Jesse said regarding getting subpoenaed if Brenda tells them anything about the break-in. Dylan blows that off as typical lawyer talk and answers the door. He sticks his hand out at Brenda, and she clasps it while entering his foyer. Weird. She says she came to thank them...and Kelly just gives her the stink-eye. Dylan says they didn't really do very much and is sorry they had to tell her parents...but Brenda admits it was stupid to think she could keep her arrest a secret. She adds that jail was scary, and not a place she'd ever want to go back to. Kelly, who can no longer keep her rage from bubbling past the surface, snaps, "Maybe you should have thought about that before." She bitchily asks how far friendship is supposed to take them...and if they're expected to jump into the jail cell with her and keep her company. Dylan looks angry and asks Kelly what her problem is, and she starts railing about how she's sick and tired of stepping aside whenever Brenda comes running to him with another crisis. She hates that whenever Brenda calls, Dylan runs...like the way he did when she was "stranded" in Palm Springs. She glares at Brenda and says, "He's not your boyfriend anymore" and Brenda rejoins, "And obviously you're not my friend anymore." Brenda thanks Dylan again for his help and beats a hasty retreat. When Dylan gives Kelly a withering look, she snaps, "What?!" and he mumbles something about her lousy timing.
Golf course. Oy. Rush is getting cocky about winning the tournament...but then Steve misses what looks like an easy shot, and Rush angrily accuses him of missing it on purpose. He taunts him about being a loser when he was a kid, and asks him if he wants to be a loser now. Yeesh - he really is a giant piece of shit. No wonder Steve's so screwed up. Steve insists he's not a loser, and Rush responds by calling him a horse's ass. Steve gives his father an ultimatum: get rid of his juiced up balls [giggle...insert ball joke here] and play fair, otherwise he'll purposely miss the next shot and lose the tournament for them. Rush gives in and grits his teeth as he orders Steve to sink the putt, which he does.
The Walsh house. Brenda arrives home from her walk, and an anxious looking Papa Walsh asks her where she's been. He tells her the FBI wants to talk to her...and they need to head over to the Federal Building right away.
Golf course. Rush is suddenly acting like less of a douchetard and compliments Steve's golf skills. Steve then takes the final shot, and as everyone watches expectantly, it goes in. The Larsons congratulate him, and Rush offers to buy his son a beer.
Federal Building. Brenda, and Mama and Papa Walsh are waiting in a room with their lawyer. Brenda finally admits that what the extremists did was wrong, but continues to unapologetically defend herself for developing a sudden and completely-out-of-the-blue passion for the ethical treatment of animals. Suddenly, Jon enters the room, and Brenda stares at him in confusion and is all, "W-u-uh?" He tells her he's an FBI agent who's been working undercover to infiltrate a group of animal rights extremists. He's managed to build a case against them and wants Brenda's cooperation...and in exchange for that, they'll drop all the charges against her. Also...in an effort to wrap up this tedious storyline as quickly as humanly possible, Jon tells the Walshes that all they really need from Brenda is an affidavit...and if she's agreeable to that, it's unlikely she'll have to testify or hear about this incident ever again. Papa Walsh breathes a long sigh of relief, and I did too.
Beach house. Ahn-drea and Donna enter the apartment with a surprise for Donna. It's the tiny puppy that was wandering around the research lab earlier! He is unbelievably cute. Donna's thrilled with her new pet and happily cuddles him. Ahn-drea assures her that the pooch is in perfect health, and David tells her that he and Ahn-drea already came up with a name for him: Rocky 2.
California University. Brandon runs into Josh and tells him he's pleasantly surprised that the article about him in The Condor wasn't a hatchet job. Josh just shrugs and says he figured out that he and Brandon are similar, and that he had the integrity to stand up to him so he couldn't trash that. Josh hints that he has his own skeletons (though they're probably really boring), and Brandon amicably tells him he may be willing to back his campaign for student body president after all.
The Peach Pit. Dylan and Kelly arrive at the diner, still bickering about the Brenda situation. Kelly snarks at Dylan that she needs to be number one in his life or not be in his life. Blah blah...just break up already.
The gang is sitting at a table, playing with Rocky 2, who's lapping at a bowl of water from atop the table. As cute as he is, that can't be sanitary. Brenda enters the diner...and when they all stare at her warily, she assures them that they no longer need to be afraid to talk to her. The charges against her have been dropped, and she's cooperating with the FBI. Ahn-drea invites her to sit, but Brenda says she's not staying. She apologizes for putting anyone in an uncomfortable position and says she knows that some things stretch the boundaries of friendship. Haha, that was a bitchy shout-out to you, Kelly! Brenda then snarks in her really annoying, self-pitying manner, "But I hope none of you ever feel as alone as I have felt." With that, she whirls on her heel and storms out. As everyone glances uncomfortably at each other, Kelly sighs deeply, gets up, and says she'll go talk to her. Outside, she asks Brenda if she's OK, and Brenda whines that she feels terrible, like she doesn't have a friend in the world. Well d'yuh. Her constant prickly bitchitude is so completely offputting, I'm surprised she's ever had a friend in the world. Kelly apologizes for her [awesome] outburst earlier and admits being jealous of her. She worries that when she and Dylan are no longer together, he'll always remember her (Brenda) as the great love of his life. Brenda then admits to being jealous of Kelly ever since she first moved to L.A., which makes Kelly suddenly look contrite and lament how much of a bitch she was when Brenda needed her the most. She says she feels really bad, and Brenda snarks back, "Good!" Gaa! There's that prickly bitchitude again. Ahn-drea emerges from the Pit and tells Brenda that her veggie burger is getting cold, and Brenda's like "What veggie burger?" Ahn-drea says the one she ordered for her...and assumes she's a vegetarian now. Heh. Good one, Ahn-drea. Brenda nods, pretending that of course she's a vegetarian, re-enters the diner, and tells the gang that after spending the night in a scary jail cell, it's good to be home.