Recap: Lauren, Lo, and Audrina get their first look at the house they're going to be renting and squeal happily over the huge amount of space it has. Audrina lays claim to the guest house across the yard and says she looooves that it's so private...and the three agree that they're going to need to throw a housewarming party asap. Later, while dining in an outdoor cafe, Lauren tells Lo that she invited Stephen Colletti to their housewarming party - but makes it clear that she and Stephen are strictly platonic friends now, despite the fact that she never really stopped liking him since their high school years. Stephanie finds Spencer taking a break from lounging on the couch in her apartment to lounging on a couch in the Karma Coffeehouse. She informs him that Lauren invited her to her upcoming housewarming party, and Spencer's all, "You're being disloyal to the Pratt clan", then gruffly orders her to get lost...and when she refuses to leave, he responds by getting up and shuffling out of the coffeehouse.
Over at the new house, Lauren, Lo, and Audrina are discussing the guest list for their housewarming party. Audrina lists the various people she plans to invite, including - ack! - Justin...and at the mention of Justin, Lauren's like, "Wait a minute, rewind!" and makes Audrina confirm that the slovenly shitbag she dumped just ten episodes ago for his boorishness is, in fact, being invited into their home. Audrina reacts by squinting stink-eyes while an oblivious Lauren announces that she has invited Stephen Colletti to attend the party...and Lo squeals her approval and gushes about how they've always had a thing, even though Lauren insists again that their relationship is strictly platonic. Party time! The housewarming party guests begin to arrive, including Brody...who introduces Lauren to his bosom-y new girlfriend, Cora. Stephanie stops in at Heidi's apartment to needlessly inform her that she's on her way to Lauren's housewarming party. Heidi's all 'the fuck?' and makes it clear that she's absolutely not OK with her and her ex-BFF hanging out together. Stephanie points out how dumb it is that she's expected to run her social plans past her and Spencer for approval...and how much dumber than that it is that she actually does run her social plans past her and Spencer for approval, only to feel guilty when they constantly cast shade on her friendship with Lauren. Heidi sanctimoniously says that she must feel guilty 'cause she knows she's doing something wrong...then, like Spencer, questions her loyalty to the family. Stephanie grumbles that this tedious feud all seems "so middle school", then - in a visibly disheartened fashion - reluctantly agrees to skip the housewarming party and offers to mopishly spend the evening with her, watching a movie or doing something equally as boring.
Lo is gushy and thrilled when Stephen Colletti arrives at the party - at the same time a grubby looking Justin arrives and is warmly greeted by Brody and Frankie. Lauren then engages in a one-on-one with Stephen and somehow gets on the topic of her stewing estrangement with Audrina and how she doesn't feel welcome to wander over to her private guest house, even just to say hey. Audrina, meanwhile, is hanging with Justin in her private guest house, grumbling about how annoyed she was when Lauren and Lo made a big stupid deal about her inviting him to the party. She mumbles that she just wants to do what she wants, preferably without their bitchy commentary. Stephen tells Lauren that they should catch up at dinner tomorrow night, aka not when there's this level of madness around them [the MTV camera crew notwithstanding, I guess]. The next day at FIDM, Lauren tells Stephanie that the housewarming party was a success, and that it's a shame she's a grown woman who doesn't have the stones to tell Heidi and/or Spencer to go pee up a rope regarding with whom she chooses to socialize. Stephanie complains about how much she haaaates it when Heidi and/or Spencer accuse her of being disloyal to the family, and Lauren says she kinda/sorta feels bad for putting her in this position, then changes the subject to Stephen Colletti and their upcoming dinner date. Lauren is primping for her dinner with Stephen while telling Lo she's not 100% sure if this is a full on date or not, despite the many proclamations this episode about their platonic status. A few seconds later, Stephen arrives...and after the two hug hello and tell Lo not to wait up, they head out to Il Cielo. As the two catch up while eating dinner, Lauren gets on the topic of Audrina again and gabbles about how she's not quite sure what's going on with Audrina and Justin...and that she and Audrina aren't the kind of roommates who bare their souls to each other. Stephen's like, "Wow, bummer" and changes the subject to how thrilled his mom was to hear about their dinner date, even though he emphasized to her that they're just platonic friends. Lauren chuckles and tells him that her parents love him a lot too...but agrees that, yep, there's nothing but strict platonicness going on here. After dinner and while en route home, Lauren reminisces to Stephen about how he always managed to get her home before her curfew...and he recalls that he drove fast enough to get her home on time - but not in a reckless fashion 'cause, "I had precious cargo." Lauren looks touched by that remark...and when he pulls up to her house, the two bid each other goodnight with a chaste hug.
Lo is up late, working on her laptop when Lauren returns home...and when she asks how the date went, Lauren says it was fine - but wistfully adds that some things are better left the way they are. Lo insists that she and Stephen are so darn cute together [though I'm sorta meh 'bout that] - but Lauren says she always feels like she's back in high school whenever the two of them hang out, and reminds Lo that she's not in high school anymore. Lo's like, "Whatever" and dreamily says she'd looooove it if she and Stephen somehow re-connected and got married one day. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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THE HILLS HOMEPAGERecapper: Isabel K. French
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