The Hills - Season 2, Episode 6

"Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to come second to a cretin like Spencer?"

"You Have Chosen"
Original airdate: 2/19/2007

Episode summary: Lauren disapproves of Heidi's decision to get back together with Spencer.

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Recap: Lauren and Heidi are out for a bite to eat when Heidi breaks the news that she's decided to give Spencer a second chance. Lauren looks alarmed and reminds her that the douchenozzle seems to love playing mind games with her, and can't understand why she wouldn't want to steer clear of him. She adds that Spencer is not a good person and that she's coming right out and saying this 'cause she's her friend. Heidi shrugs dismissively and says she's pretty confident that Spencer has changed for the better - but if not she's just going to have fun and see what happens. Lauren says she hates the thought of the creepy Chucky lookalike coming between them, and makes it clear what a terrible idea she thinks it is to get back together with him. She then says she no longer wants to talk about him or hear about him...and when Heidi says it's going to suck to not be able to mention her boyfriend to her best friend, Lauren's like, "Whatever" and promises to be there for her when he screws her over, which she thinks is pretty much a certainty.

Heidi meets up with Spencer for lunch at the Breadbar, and squeals with delight when he presents her with a lovely bouquet of roses. She then tells him she's been sooooo stressed with the whole Lauren Hates My Boyfriend situation and is worried that things are going to be awkward. Spencer professes his love for her...and when Heidi moans, "No one understands that", he wonders aloud how he can get Lauren to like him again. Heidi tells him he's just going to have to prove himself, and Spencer's all ew at the notion of putting any effort into convincing Heidi's friends he's not the massive tool he is and changes the subject to a "slumber party" at his place tonight...and Heidi perks up and tells him she's totes into that idea. Blech.

"Lauren hates you 'cause of your two-timing behind my back."

"Sounds like someone's a good judge of character."

Heidi returns home and presents Lauren with her rose bouquet and gaily fibs, "These are for you, from Spencer!" and an unimpressed Lauren wryly asks if he's planning on giving them to Audrina tomorrow. Haha! After an awkward pause, Heidi goes upstairs to pack for her "slumber party" ... and after she heads out, Audrina calls Lauren and invites her to her apartment for dinner. 

Over dinner, Lauren tells Audrina that Heidi is giving Spencer another chance, and Audrina's all, "OMG!" and laughs about how Spencer tried so hard to give people the impression that she (Audrina) was into him. Lauren says she's extremely annoyed at Heidi for telling Spencer what a cretin she thinks he is after the playmates spectacle and is worried that Spencer's going to put ideas in her head and alienate her from her gal pals. Audrina agrees that Heidi's in over her head and wishes she'd get out from under Chucky's mind control before she's in too deep. 

In the Teen Vogue closet office, Lauren tells Whitney she's dismayed by the way Heidi has seemingly abandoned her whole life for Spencer. She then flatly says that things between them aren't going to be fine until he's permanently out of the picture.
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Heidi and Spencer are happily strolling down the street, hand in hand. Heidi invites him to come to Area with her and Lauren tonight, but he says he'd rather not 'cause he's suddenly indignant about the way Lauren's been bad-mouthing him. Heidi refrains from reminding him that he brought the well-deserved disdain on himself and says [for now, at least] she'd prefer to not cut her best friend out of her life.  

At Area, Heidi tells Lauren she doesn't want to fight with her about Spencer anymore and just wants the two of them to have fun tonight. Across the club, Audrina is staring over at Spencer and pointing out to her friend Clint that Spencer is brazenly flirting with some random woman despite the fact that Heidi is sitting just a few feet away. Audrina calls Lauren over and draws her attention to Spencer's flirting, and Lauren gets up and tells Heidi they're outa here. As Lauren heads for the door, Spencer stops her and says, "We're so making peace" and says it's fine if she hates him...and Lauren says she doesn't hate him, but thinks he's a user and would prefer Heidi not date him. Spencer insists that Heidi knows and fully accepts what a fuckbag he is and that they both understand each other, and Lauren retorts, "Good for you and Heidi", nonsensically declares, "I don't dislike you as a person", and says she's done talking to him now. After she exits the club, Spencer tells Brody he doesn't ever want to talk to Lauren again, and Heidi rushes over to give Spencer a comforting canoodle and coos about how it's all going to be OK.

The next day, Lauren drops by Brody's condo to tell him that pretty much everyone has warned Heidi not to get into anything serious with Spencer. When Brody stupidly asks why, Lauren tells him about Spencer's two-timing with Audrina and the flowers, and that he hits on girls every time he's out at a club. Brody reacts by chuckling at his degenerate friend's flirty flower buying, acknowledges that "maybe that was a little bit wrong", then spouts some nonsense about how Spencer feels threatened by her always getting into Heidi's ear and calling him shady. Lauren reminds him that Heidi was sobbing two episodes ago because of what his best friend did to her, then says if she weren't getting along with her best friend, she definitely wouldn't be happy.

"Spencer brought Audrina flowers, called her several times, and then pretended as if she were the one pursuing him."

"Tee hee. What a lovable cad he is."

Brody promptly reports to Spencer what Lauren just told him, and Spencer stares back at him incredulously and grumbles that she's going to have to "get over it". Brody brings up the Pinkberry/giving Audrina roses incident, and Spencer cackles about how Heidi told Lauren that the roses he bought were intended for her, then derisively mumbles, "Yeah, right. I'm not spending a dollar on you."

Spencer calls Heidi while she's at Bolthouse and whines about how Lauren told Brody she thinks she (Heidi) isn't happy anymore, which of course is a complete misrepresentation of what Lauren actually said. Heidi's all, "Wha-a-a?" and says she's the happiest she's ever been, and Spencer sourly says that clearly Lauren's too negative to see that. Heidi calls this conflict "so weird", says it's gotten sooo out of control, and that she wants everything to go back to normal.

Lauren is at FIDM, looking sad and wistful...and in the next scene she's driving home while continuing to look sad and wistful.

When Lauren returns home, Heidi asks her whaddup with her telling Brody that she (Lauren) thinks she (Heidi) is unhappy, so Lauren clarifies what she actually said: if she weren't getting along with her best friend, she would definitely not be happy. Heidi complains about how unfair it is that she feels as though she has to choose between her best friend and Spencer, and Lauren says that no one's making her choose, then snidely adds, "But you have chosen, for the last week and a half." She complains that this whole conflict came about 'cause she was the only friend who was willing to level with her about what a fucktard Spencer is...and Heidi says she haaaaates it when things aren't fine between them and can't stand the "weird space" that now exists between them. Lauren admonishes her for telling Spencer how much she disdains him, which he reacted to by buying her flowers, and Heidi's like, "Uh, those flowers weren't actually for you" and explains that for some inexplicable reason she thought it'd be hilarious to present them to her as a gift from Spencer. Lauren's all 'the fuck?', shoots her the stink-eye for several long seconds, then mutters, "I really don't want to talk to you right now" before storming up to her bedroom.

"When I fibbed about Spencer giving you the roses, I assumed you knew that it was just me being hilarious."

"I'm sure that one day I'll be able to laugh about it."

Heidi packs her suitcase for her slumber party, then knocks on Lauren's door to see if she's ready to talk yet...and when Lauren tells her to go pee up a rope, Heidi gives up and heads off to Spencer's lair.

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