Recap: Steve and Jaime are en route to Ojai, and Jaime squeals excitedly when she sees the Welcome to Ojai - Home of Astronaut Steve Austin sign and asks him what it was like to launch into space. When they arrive at the ranch, Steve gives her a brief tour...and then the two go slo-mo bionic jogging around the property while - OMFG, noooo! Not again! - Lee Majors' off-key voice creeps into the background crooning "Sweet Jaime". And since this is the third crossover episode this has happened in, I have to assume that the writers weighed all the options (include it vs. why the hell would we torture our viewers by including it?) and somehow made the conscious decision to include the entirety of the song into the script. 

For a taste of what it feels like to have to listen to Lee Majors' singing/talking fast voice, enjoy the audio clip (with lyrics if you wish to sing along):

Jaime calls Michael to tell him that she and Steve arrived in Ojai, and so far she's feeling good. Steve hands her a glass of orange juice, and she stares at it, then goes mute when she has a flashback of the time she broke her glass of orange juice while having breakfast with Steve and his parents during the first crossover episode. Michael asks her if everything's OK, and she breezily tells him she's fine and that she misses him. As soon as she hangs up, she tells Steve she'd like to go for a walk.

As the two stroll around the sprawling ranch, Jaime asks Steve what he thinks of Michael. Steve grunts that he's a good scientist, but Jaime says she was thinking more along the lines of, "Do you think he likes likes me, or just likes me?" and Steve pouts and refuses to answer. As they head down to the lake (where they once kissed), Jaime says she gets the feeling she's been here before, then says what she'd really like to do is go into town. Steve nervously says there's not much to see there...and then the two come upon a tree with various heart carvings etched into the bark, including one that reads 'Steve + Jaime'. Steve covers it up with his hand, and somehow Jaime doesn't notice his lame attempt to hide it from her as she carves a new heart with her bionic fingernail, then carves 'Jaime + ?', which makes Steve look slightly hopeful.

Steve phones his dad to let him know he's at the ranch, and that he'd appreciate some father-son time to moan about the current heartbreak in his life. Before hanging up, he says, "There's something you should know first.." then tells his dad all about Jaime's cryogenic surgery and subsequent defrosting, which...isn't that supposed to be top-secret, classified information?

Papa Austin watches Jaime with binoculars as she rides a horse in the nearby pasture, then shakes his head in bewilderment and mutters, "It's like seeing a ghost." Steve tells him she's completely lost her memory, and that he's going to have to keep her away from town in case someone unwittingly triggers a brain pain inducing memory. Steve admits that taking Jaime places where they used to frolic together, which she no longer remembers, is starting to get to him. He says he just wants to grab her and force her to remember their past life...then dials his emotion back down and thanks his dad for letting him vent. Steve glances out the window and gets alarmed when there's no sign of Jaime. He rushes outside and zooms his bionic eye toward the edge of the ranch and gasps when he sees that the back gate is open. He cries, "She's headed for town!" and wastes no time leaping over the fence and bionically racing toward town.
Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..

Steve checks Jaime into the local hospital, tucks her in, tells her to get a good night's rest, and promises to pick her up in the morning for breakfast. Jaime tells him she wants to see Michael, and Steve masks his disappointment and assures her he'll be in Ojai the following day.

Jaime has a disjointed dream about playing tennis, the time her bionics started to go haywire, and the way she reacted by maniacally running in the rain. When she wakes up screaming, Steve and the nurse rush into her room to see whassup. She cries about her visions and the pain in her brain, then tells Steve she now knows why he brought her here: she grew up in Ojai. He nods and smiles hopefully, but then looks grim when she says that all this memory re-triggering in her hometown is causing her too much physical anguish. She also senses "leaving someone behind" but still can't figure out who it is [even though she's had plenty of flashbacks that make it obvious it's Steve]. She says she needs to leave Ojai, move on, and let Oscar put her to work on secret spy missions. She then lets out a relieved sigh, flops back into bed...and Steve poutishly turns off the light.

Oscar, Rudy, and Steve are examining video footage of Jaime jogging, swimming, and high jumping, and their general consensus is that she's physically progressing at a rapid rate. Rudy says that the cryogenic therapy has magically resolved her bionic rejection issues, and the presence of Michael and his kisses has been helpful in her recovery. As Steve squints with displeasure, Rudy suggests they find Jaime something new and challenging to work on, and Oscar agrees and says he has "an urgent and important mission" that requires the combined skill set of two bionic humans.

Oscar is on a small aircraft with Steve and Jaime, both of whom have parachutes strapped to their backs. (Uh oh...I sense another pain-inducing flashback.) Oscar solemnly pronounces, "Here is your adversary" and shows them a photo of a man named Carlton Harris. Jaime studies the photo and jokes about how dashing he is, and Oscar concurs and says he considers himself to be quite the lady killer. He explains that Harris owns a huge oil refinery on the fake Caribbean island of Melinique and is using his resources to arm a group of militants for the purpose of overthrowing the government. Since the U.S. government can't officially intervene, Steve correctly assumes that their mission will be to "unofficially intervene" and get rid of Harris' stash of weapons and munitions. Oscar nods and warns them that Harris' security is very tight...so they're going to have to bypass them to get into the storage area, plant some explosives, then get out before they're blown to smithereens. Jaime's all, "Wha-a?!" and questions whether she really has the stones to undertake such a perilous mission.

Steve tells Jaime, "We're over the drop zone" and puts his helmet on, and - just as I predicted - this prompts Jaime to flashback to her parachute accident in the first crossover episode. She suddenly starts to rethink the whole notion of being a secret bionic spy and tells Steve she really really doesn't want to jump. Steve assures her it'll be fine, then shoves her off the plane (&%$#!) seconds before he jumps. Fortunately, their chutes open safely, and both land without incident. After rolling up their chutes, the two bionically run toward the refinery and hide in some nearby shrubbery. As Jaime's brain starts to go on the fritz again, Steve zooms in with his bionic eye and spots Carlton Harris arriving at the refinery...and since Harris is a villain on The Six Million Dollar Man, he's easy to spot in his all white suit. Steve tells Jaime he can see Harris talking to one of his goons in front of a giant relay switch and asks Jaime to activate her bionic ear so she can eavesdrop on the conversation. She overhears them talking about security precautions and how there's another relay switch in the control room, and then something about the control room door being booby-trapped. Jaime wonders aloud how they're going to get inside to plant the explosives with all this booby-trapping going on...then reminds Steve that Harris is a ladies man, and maybe she can use that to her advantage. She strips out of her jumper, under which she's wearing a smart black pantsuit with a pretty monochrome scarf tied around her neck. She tells Steve to flip the outside relay switch at 2:20pm - the exact moment she'll flip the relay switch inside the control room...and apparently, this will disarm all of the booby-traps and allow them to plant explosives and blow the whole thing up. I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier to just drop a bomb on the refinery from the plane and call it a day?? Jaime marches purposefully toward the refinery, and Steve stares after her worriedly.

Jaime tells Harris' security guard she's a journalist and wants to interview Mr. Harris...and the security guard hastily escorts her to the big cheese, who eyes her appreciatively and compliments her loveliness. She coquettishly thanks him for taking the time to be interviewed, then suggests they roam around the plant while they talk. Steve, meanwhile, runs over to the refinery and leaps over all the large metal pipes...and bionically karate chops a security guard who gets in his way. Jaime is stroking Harris' ego, calling him "wealthy, powerful, and attractive", and he schmoozily invites to stay for dinner, an offer she pretends to tentatively accept. To move things along, she asks him if she can see the main control room, and he says yes and urges her to follow him.

Jaime and Harris are in the control room, and Jaime fake marvels about all the big levers and buttons. She spots the giant relay switch and looks like she's about to turn it to off when Harris yells, "Jaime!" which triggers a memory of when Steve yelled Jaime! the night her body started to reject her bionics. She looks all spacey and mutters, "Someone's in trouble" and when Harris is all, "Wuh?" she brightens and says, "It's Steve! It must be Steve!" I guess she finally pieced together that Steve is her former beloved, which...duh. In her discombobulated mental state, she tells Harris, "Steve's in trouble - I have to get to him!"...and when Harris is all, "What the fuck are you talking about about?" and grabs at her, she flattens him with a bionic uppercut and flees. It's exactly 2:20pm, so Steve flips the outside relay switch...then sees Jaime on one of the upper levels of the refinery. He races up the stairs just as Harris, who has recovered from the bionic swat and called for reinforcements, chases after Jaime. When Steve manages to intercept Jaime on one of the stairwells, she tells him she heard him calling out to her in the rain that night, and he's all, "Wuh?" then puts a pin in that for now and uses his bionic arm to disconnect a huge steam pipe so he can blast the steam at Harris and his security men as they approach. Harris orders his men to shoot at Jaime and Steve - but fortunately they miss, and Jaime and Steve manage to slip away...but it looks like they really screwed the pooch on their mission. 

Back at OSI, Steve tells Oscar that Jaime recalled the night she "died", then decides it's probably best they don't go on missions together anymore. Oscar weakly tries to insist that it was memories of Ojai that broke her brain, not him - but Steve says it's clear that the sight of him gnaws away at her subconscious and self-piteously pronounces, "I'm not good for Jaime." He suggests sending her to Rudy's complex in Colorado Springs for as long as it takes her injured brain to recover, and gives Michael his blessing to continue being his ex-fiancee's budding love interest.

​Jaime and Michael are packed up and ready to leave for Colorado Springs when Steve sadly shuffles over to say goodbye. Jaime says she should probably get to know herself before she hooks up with anyone, then says, "Sometimes I look at you and get the feeling there's something more. Was there?" (?? I thought she solved that mystery while she was going squirrelly at the oil refinery.) Steve replies, "Nope. We're just friends" so she gives him a quick smooch, then climbs inside Michael's cute red sports car...and the two drive off as Steve sadly stares after them.

Recap: Steve and Oscar are in a helicopter, en route to wherever their latest mission is being carried out. Oscar tells Steve they'll be at the drop zone in a few minutes, and Steve nods and then starts daydreaming about Jaime jogging. Oscar gives Steve a recap of the mission: prevent two underworld families from joining forces and wreaking havoc onto the world. Apparently, one of the families has stolen classified documents while the other has stolen top military equipment...and despite their deep mistrust of each other, they need each other's help to carry out whatever nefarious deeds they intend to commit. (The mobsters' plan is unclear, but I'm guessing it's more serious than using a plate to replicate American twenty dollar bills.) Steve reiterates that his objective will be to ensure that something goes terribly wrong during the exchange, and Oscar nods and says that with any luck, the two families will just shoot each other, which...yeah, I guess problem solved. LOL. Steve confirms that he has plastic explosives to create a diversion, and Oscar pats him on the shoulder and wishes him good luck. A few minutes, later the helicopter lands, and Steve disembarks and bionically runs toward the mobsters' rendezvous spot: a remote, abandoned building.

Steve uses his bionic eye to spy on the heads of the two crime families, Abe Collins and Chester Goddard, as they arrive in separate convoys and woodenly greet each other. (What the hell kind of underworld names are Abe and Chester??)  Just as they're about to exchange resources, Steve throws a plastic explosive into a nearby pile of rubble, which promptly explodes. Abe and Chester are all, "Wha-a?!", snark at each other about how they knew they couldn't trust one another, call off the exchange, and rush back to their respective vehicles. For some dumb reason, Steve chases after one of the vans and throws an explosive at it - then gets struck by large flying debris, which crushes his bionic legs. He urgently radios Oscar to tell him he's injured and needs help. Abe (or Chester...not sure which mob boss is which) runs over to Steve and snarls, "You picked the wrong family to mess with" and points a gun at him...and then stands there long enough for Steve to grab a nearby iron pipe and throw it at him, causing him to collapse to the ground and the gun to fly out of his hand. As an injured Abe/Chester flails around in search of his weapon, the helicopter arrives...and Oscar lowers a long rope where Steve is writhing around. Abe/Chester finally locates his gun and fires on Steve as he's being raised toward the helicopter, but nothing happens 'cause he's fresh out of bullets. Once Steve has safely made it aboard the helicopter, Oscar orders the pilot to head back to D.C. so he can assemble a surgical team to repair Steve's bionic legs, like pronto. 

Hospital. A semi-conscious Steve is sacked out on a stretcher while Dr. Rudy Wells and Oscar discuss the extent of his injuries. As they wheel Steve down the hall, he thinks he sees Jaime lying in one of the hospital rooms with an oxygen mask over her face. He bionically zooms in on her, and when it appears to be her, he groggily mutters, "Jaime...Jaime..."

After the commercial break, Steve is still lying on his stretcher, muttering Jaime's name. When Rudy urges him to take it easy, Steve mumbles, "Where's Jaime?" and Rudy and Oscar exchange concerned glances...and then Rudy breezily tells Steve he must be suffering from delirium 'cause of his damaged legs. Steve apologizes for messing up the mission, but Oscar says it's not necessary and commends him for successfully completing the mission (even though he kinda did screw the pooch by needlessly throwing that second explosive, which caused the flying debris). Oscar urges him to get some rest, and then he and Rudy disappear into another room to discuss the Jaime sighting...and Steve starts muttering, "Jaime.." again while daydreaming about her riding a horse in slo-mo.

After a successful bionic reconstruction surgery, Rudy wheels Steve around the hospital grounds. Steve asks him if he'll ever be able to run 60 m/h again, and Rudy laughs and says, "Sure...well, eventually" and cautions him against pushing himself too hard. When Rudy heads back inside the hospital, Steve stays outside and continues wheeling around the grounds. He sees two people playing tennis, then has a flashback of Jaime playing. He then glances over at the hospital...and when he thinks he notices something amiss inside one of the room, he zooms in with his bionic eye to peek into the window and spots Jaime. Steve rapidly wheels himself toward the hospital...and the bionic sound effects (duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..) sound funny as it tries to match the rhythm of his arm movements. When Steve enters the hospital, the security guard tries to stop him from proceeding down the hall, but Steve easily shoves him out of the way and wheels past. When he reaches the room he had peeked into, he's startled to see that the woman lying on the bed isn't Jaime...and he's all, "Wha-a?" and scrunches his face in confusion. Oscar suddenly appears from out of nowhere and tries hard to sound casual as he says, "Oh, hey Steve. Whassup?" Steve insists he spotted Jaime again, so Oscar tries to convince him he much be hallucinating 'cause of all the strain he's been under. As Oscar quickly wheels Steve away, a shifty looking nurse appears and stares after them concernedly.

Steve begins to get himself back into proper bionic working order by going for a jog...and does it while wearing a blue tracksuit with the front unzipped to his navel so we can see his sweaty chest hair in all its glory. Yikes.

Oscar asks the nurse where Steve went...and when she tells him he went for a morning jog in Quadrant 2, Oscar furrows his brows and rushes over to the nearest phone to alert security.

As Steve jogs around Quadrant 2, he notices two orderlies wheeling a woman on a stretcher, and when he zooms in with his bionic eye, he confirms that it's definitely Jaime. He bionically chases after the ambulance - duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh - for as long as he can...but since he's not operating at full bionic capacity, he's not fast enough to catch up to it. He contorts his face in a torturous expression as he stares after the ambulance and murmurs, "Jaime.."

Steve slams Oscar against the wall and threatens him with a bionic karate chop unless he tells him what's going on, and then rails at Oscar and Rudy for letting believe his fiancee was dead. Oscar admits that, OK yeah, Jaime is still alive...and Steve scrunches his face in perplexed misery and asks them what kind of game they're playing. Rudy informs him that Jaime really did die in the operating room...but since Lindsay Wagner (and the idea of a bionic woman) was such a hit with viewers, the producers decided to rewrite history and bring her character back, and are planning to give her her own spin-off show.

Re-constructed, implausible flashback..

We return to the end of the previous episode, after Jaime has just "died" on the operating table. As Steve is tearfully kissing Jaime goodbye, Oscar is approached by his ambitious assistant, Michael Marchetti. Michael tells Oscar and Rudy he's been researching cryogenics and is pretty sure he can save Jaime by deep freezing her organs - but if they intend to do so, they must act quickly! Oscar perks up and asks him if he really thinks it could work, and Michael says he's had a 90% success rate with cryogenically frozen monkeys. LOL. Rudy worries that it might be too radical a procedure for a human bionic person, but Michael rightly points out that since Jaime's dead, she has nothing to lose. Rudy agrees to give it a shot and barks, "Better tell Steve!" but Oscar decides not to 'cause he didn't want him to get his hopes up in case she flatlines a second time. The team of surgeons work at an impossible pace to keep Jaime's organs functioning while simultaneously warding off brain damage. Rudy solemnly describes to Steve that they had to "maintain Jaime's cerebral cell integrity with nominal side effects until her normal circulation could be restored". Sounds intense. A nurse hangs something that looks like a frozen jar near Jaime lifeless body, which Michael then uses to administer his cryogenic therapy. Rudy beams at Steve and says, "I've never been more proud of my team"...and in the flashback, the surgeons stand around in their surgical masks, nodding approvingly at each other. A few seconds later came the final test: shocking Jaime's heart to see if it would start beating on its own...which, of course, it did. Rudy explains to Steve that they've kept all this a secret from him 'cause they had no idea if she'd ever awaken from her coma...or if she'd wake up and then just lay around like a frozen vegetable. Steve insists on seeing Jaime so he can say hello, and Rudy and Oscar mull it over and decide to move this episode along and allow it.

Michael is in Jaime's room, jotting notes on her medical chart. Steve tiptoes into the room with Rudy and Oscar...then goes over to Jaime's bedside and gently says, "Jaime..?" She opens her eyes, turns her head toward him and smiles...then shoots him a quizzical look and goes, "Who are you?" Steve just stares back at her sadly.

Rudy later explains to Steve that while the cryogenic therapy saved Jaime's life and prevented brain damage, it resulted in complete amnesia. He says there's a chance her memory could return...but by chance, he means it's a remote possibility. He says they could try re-stimulating her memory - but by doing so, they'd be re-stimulating the pain sensations that nearly killed her, and apparently that would be very bad. Oscar wonders if Steve could bring back some of those memories in a non-traumatizing fashion - but Rudy advises against it, since it could do her more harm than good. Steve sadly says perhaps it's best if she isn't forced to remember their life together, then asks Michael what she's like now. He just kind of shrugs and says, "She's Jaime...but with no memory", and Steve contorts his face to make himself look as torturously sad and stricken as possible.

Michael wheels Jaime around the hospital grounds while Steve and Oscar watch from a distance. Oscar reminds Steve that he has a lot of working out to do if he expects to get back into full-on bionic mode. 

Steve slips back into his blue tracksuit with, yep, the front zipper unzipped at navel level and practices his long jumping skills while Rudy measures his progress with a yardstick. After each jump, Steve's gaze wanders over to where Jaime is doing her physiotherapy with Michael.

Oscar informs Steve that Jaime's strength is returning, and that he'd like him to have a chat with her about being bionic so she can understand the responsibility that comes along with possessing superhuman strength.

Jaime uses one of her bionic hands to bend the metal side of her bed, and looks pleased at her effort. She tells Michael that being bionic is super awesome and asks how many other people in the world are bionic. Michael glances over at Steve, who's standing in the doorway, and says, "Just you and Steve." She looks confused and asks, "Who's Steve?" so Steve enters the room and identifies himself. She recalls that they met the other day, then remarks, "You looked at me so strangely" and Steve hides his disappointment that she still doesn't remember anything pre-faux death. She tells him she'd definitely like to know who she was - but it's frightening, as though something is haunting her...and apparently Michael told her that it could be physically dangerous if she dwells on it. She tells him that she and Michael are "fond" of each other, then suddenly has flashes of Steve from when they were engaged. She furrows her brows in confusion, then tells Steve she needs him to help her adjust to being bionic and asks him if they can be friends. He's like, "Can do" and the two shake on it.

After that, we're subjected to the music video portion of the show with - OMFG - Lee Majors singing "Sweet Jaime" in the background for a second time on the show. Steve jogs alongside Jaime, once again wearing his blue tracksuit with - you guessed it - the front nearly all the way unzipped. The two then work out on a different day, an assumption I'm making 'cause Jaime is wearing a different outfit. Steve, however, insists on continuing to rock it in his unzipped blue tracksuit. I wonder if his second $6 million surgery ate up all the funds for his clothing allowance.

Steve and Jaime hit the pool for an aquatic workout, and this triggers a memory for Jaime: when she broke the phone booth door during the stormy night her bionics went completely haywire. She rubs her temples, then spots Michael approach and gabbles to Steve about how cute he is...but Steve gets irked and grumbles that he isn't into girl talk. She tells him she sometimes gets the feeling she has another fella - but can't, for the life of her, think of who that might be. Michael comes over and compliments her workout and orders her to do more laps so he can dish about her to Steve. Once she's safely out of hearing range (I guess her bionic ear isn't up to snuff yet), Michael tells Steve that Jaime became infatuated with him after he saved her life...but that he's A-OK with crossing the doctor/boyfriend line 'cause of how hot she is. Steve reluctantly says he's willing to let nature take its course and see which guy she ends up choosing.

Steve and Jaime are now testing out their bionic abilities on the high jump. Jaime suddenly remembers jumping over the tractor on Steve's ranch in the previous episode and suffers another headache.  

The next day, Steve drops by Jaime's room to collect her for yet another workout. She grumpily says she doesn't feel like it, then playfully hits him with her pillow...and it degenerates into a really lengthy bionic pillow fight with feathers exploding everywhere. Jaime suddenly looks stricken and tells Steve that whenever she feels as though she's about to remember something, her head hurts. 

Michael suggests that Steve take Jaime back to her home town of Ojai, California to try to jog her memory further. Rudy goes on record saying he thinks this is a very bad idea, and asks what will happen if someone recognizes her. Oscar says that Steve will need to keep her environment controlled and not allow any of her friends or acquaintances to approach her. 

Steve tells Jaime a change of scenery might do her some good, and the two pack up a station wagon for the road trip to Ojai. As Jaime smooches Michael goodbye, Rudy reminds Steve to keep Jaime isolated from people who might say or do something that might cause her to go squirrelly. Oscar tells Steve that this trip could help bring Jaime back to him, but Steve is worried it could also push her further away...and the two just kind of shrug and agree that whatever happens, happens. As Steve and Jaime drive off, Oscar, Rudy, and Michael worriedly stare after the car.

Recap: Steve and Jaime are at the ranch, riding around on horses and looking very much in love. Jaime brings up her surgery and says she's pretty sure that Blue Cross doesn't cover bionic reconstruction, and asks him who footed the bill for her cyborg limbs. Steve mumbles, "Uncle Sam" and Jaime asks what he expects in return. Steve replies, "Well, I guess he wants you to be part of the team"...and by team, he means himself and Oscar Goldman. Jaime looks unsettled and remarks how high "the stakes" are, and Steve provides nothing in the way of assurance and says, "Yep, they're pretty high." A few minutes later, they decide to run back to the house (I guess the horses will find their own way back), and bionically race each other in slow motion. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..

Mama Austin has just arrived at the ranch and is startled to see Steve and Jaime running toward the house in full bionic mode: leaping over high fences, stacks of hay bales, and a tractor. LOL. As Steve and Jaime approach the house, they notice Mama Austin's bewildered expression and stare sheepishly at each other. When Mama Austin whimpers, "Why am I so frightened?", Steve invites her to take a walk with him so he can explain to her the general premise of The Six Million Dollar Man, as well as Jaime's recent bionic reconstruction and future spin-off.

Oscar Goldman drops by the ranch to tell Steve he has a problem in need of an immediate resolution. When Steve starts to whine about how he has a wedding coming up, Oscar grimly retorts, "There isn't going to be any wedding" and solemnly holds up a twenty dollar bill. Steve examines the bill with his bionic eye and finds nothing wrong with it, and Oscar's like, "Exactly!" and tells him it was made using a duplicate Denver Mint plate that was recently delivered to Joseph Ronaugh, the man who is intent on flooding the U.S. economy with superfluous twenty dollar bills. The mission - should Jaime choose to accept it, which she kind of has to considering she's now beholden to the Office of Scientific Intelligence - is to switch the money making plate with a defective plate. That way, they can trace all the various counterfeiting outlets once Ronaugh starts churning out those fake twenties. Steve says he doesn't like the idea of Jaime being sent on a potentially dangerous mission, so Oscar explains that it's "a delicate operation" that requires the power of her bionic ear to open the safe where the money making plate is being stored. Steve still doesn't approve, and Oscar's like, "Yeah, I really don't give a shit" and reminds him that there were strings attached when he agreed to transform his girlfriend into a secret cyborg agent. Jaime suddenly enters the room and says, "I couldn't help overhearing" - heh, good one - and agrees that she has an obligation to repay Oscar for saving her life. She assures Steve that she performs very well under pressure and wants to pull her own weight. Oscar smiles approvingly and tells her that tomorrow she'll receive the necessary training to carry out the top secret mission.

Joseph Ronaugh (wearing another white suit!) is examining a large diamond when his sidekick (also in white) enters the room and announces that all systems are go on the Steve Austin hit. Ronaugh gleefully informs him that there's no need to carry out the hit, 'cause Steve is coming to them! He shows his sidekick a telegram from Jaime Sommers, accepting his invitation to play in a tennis charity tournament...and I'll assume it mentions that she's bringing Steve as her plus one. Ronaugh cackles, "Isn't that delicious?" and goes back to examining his diamond.

Warehouse. Jaime is receiving training on how to silence any potential alarms and use her bionic hearing to crack a safe's combination...and then exchange the money making plate with a defective one. Jaime manages the task reasonably quickly and requests another run though - but Oscar tells her there's no time 'cause she and Steve have a plane to catch.

Steve and Jaime are en route to whatever country Joseph Ronaugh and his gaggle of white-suited henchmen are headquartered in. Jaime tells a worried looking Steve not to stress about her so much, and jokes about how she can hear trouble coming from very far away. After Steve nods off, one of her hands starts to twitch involuntarily, and she's all, "Wha-a?" and stares down at it concernedly.
​
After the plane lands, Steve and Jaime are chauffeured to Ronaugh's estate, where the portly counterfeiter schmoozily greets the couple. He kisses Jaime's hand and coos about how jealous he is that she's taken herself out of circulation - eww - and when she introduces him to Steve, he giddily says, "Colonel Steve Austin. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to see you face to face again!" A puzzled Steve is all, "Wha-a?" and asks if they've ever met, but Ronaugh declines to answer and says he'll show them to their rooms, where they can rest before cocktails. Subtle, Ronaugh.

Steve tiptoes into the hallway and knocks on Jaime's door. When she answers, he tells her he didn't like the smug, cagey way Ronaugh was acting and thinks they need to complete the mission and then hit the road, asap. Jaime concurs and slips into the study across the hall, while Steve stands watch. She quickly finds the safe, which is hidden behind a painting, and presses her bionic ear against the safe door while slowly turning the knob. Steve, meanwhile, encounters Ronaugh's sidekick in the hall and starts chatting him up to deflect his attention away from the study. Jaime pulls out the money making plate and switches it with the defective one...but suddenly her hand gets all twitchy again. Out in the hall, the sidekick pulls a gun on Steve just as Ronaugh and a group of henchman appear and march toward him. Steve grimly asks, "Is this how you treat your guests?" and Ronaugh retorts, "This is how we treat thieves" and says he witnessed him stealing the Denver Mint plate from the back of his truck seven months ago. He growls, "You did considerable damage to me, Colonel Austin. And now I'm going to do considerable damage to you." Jaime is closing the safe when her twitching hand knocks over a vase, which sets off an alarm. Steve jumps into action and karate chops Ronaugh and his henchmen, then dashes into the study to rescue Jaime. He throws a chair through the window, and then he and Jaime leap out of the mansion and bionically flee towards a wooded area. Ronaugh and the henchmen race outside and climb into a jeep to pursue the couple...and once they enter the woods, Ronaugh climbs out of the vehicle and orders his men to keep following the two while he attempts to capture them on foot. Seems like a dumb strategy, but whatever. Steve, meanwhile, tries to block their pursuit by bionically bending over a tree so it's in the middle of the road...and then he and Jaime continue to flee. When the jeep approaches, the henchmen abandon the vehicle and chase after them on foot. Ronaugh suddenly appears from behind a tree, and his trigger-happy sidekick aims his rifle in the direction of where Jaime and Steve are running - but accidentally shoots Ronaugh instead. Haha! Oops. 

Shortly after the ridiculous caper, Steve and Jaime are on a plane, en route back to the United States. Jaime wryly says that even though the mission wasn't exactly "quiet and delicate", she did manage to pull it off. Steve reminds her they still have a wedding to plan, and when she wistfully asks him if they're going to live happily ever after, he goes, "You bet!" and ambles off somewhere to find a bottle of champagne. 

Ranch. Steve's parents are over, helping the couple prepare their wedding invitations. Jaime suddenly wonders aloud who's going to give her away (since apparently her parents are both dead), then asks Papa Austin if he wouldn't mind doing the honor. As everyone coos their approval, Jaime's hand starts twitching again and she accidentally knocks over a dish. Steve rushes after her when she flees into the kitchen, and she admits to him that lately her hand has been going haywire.

Dr. Rudy Wells hooks up Jaime's entire arm to a giant machine - but according to the twitch-o-meter reading, it doesn't appear as though anything is amiss. Oscar discreetly asks Rudy if he can change her strength level from bionic to normal, but Rudy says they should probably give her system a chance to adapt to her new bionic limbs. Plus, he has absolutely no clue how to reverse the bionic level strength of her cyborg components.  

Ranch. Jaime and Mama Austin are going through the wedding checklist when Jaime's hand starts twitching again - but this time it's accompanied by a crushing headache. She tries to soothe the pain by rubbing her temples...and when Mama Austin asks her for clarification about something on the checklist, she gets uncharacteristically bitchy and snaps, "I don't need your help!" Steve enters the room and is all, "Wha-at's going on?" and Mama Austin downplays the incident and tells him it's probably just some pre-wedding jitters.

Steve and Jaime are playing tennis when Jaime gets another headache, and is so tortured by the pain that she whips her racquet into the air. Steve looks alarmed and asks her if she's OK, and a few seconds later she stares at him blankly and goes, "What happened?" Steve points at her racquet, which is now wedged into the steel fence surrounding the tennis court. He half-heartedly assures her that everything's probably A-OK.

Steve takes Jaime to the hospital for some x-rays. Oscar and Rudy review her scans and inform Steve that Jaime has a massive blood clot in her brain, and that her body is producing a crapload of white blood cells - a sign that it's rejecting the bionics. Rudy says they need to operate, like pronto, otherwise she could keel over at any moment. Jaime, who's waiting for the results in a private room, suddenly gets a debilitating headache. She knocks over a lamp and runs into the hallway clutching her forehead...and when an orderly tries to assist her, she bionically flings him out of her way and sprints down the hall toward the nearest exit.
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Outside, where a storm is suddenly brewing, Jaime flees the hospital clutching her temples and contorting her face into funny looking expressions of agony. Oscar and Steve are horrified to learn that she ran away, and Steve declares he's going out to find her. He ignores Oscar's protests and runs outside in bionic slo-mo in the rain storm. He races to a nearby farm, where he spots a broken fence, and enters a barn...but he just misses spotting Jaime, who has leaped out the back door. She makes her way to a phone booth, desperately picks up the receiver, and shrieks, "Steeeeeeve!" - but when she gets no reply, she wigs out and breaks the phone booth door while exiting. She's about to run off when Steve approaches. He tries to grab onto her, but she yells, "Nooooo!!" and fights him...until - in her hazy, short-circuited brain - she finally realizes he is her beloved. Her body goes limp, and Steve picks her up and rushes her back to the hospital.

Jaime is in surgery...but things aren't looking good. Someone on the surgical team exclaims, "We're losing her!" and Steve, who's anxiously watching the surgery with Oscar, puts his sad face on as he reminisces about Jaime jogging. Someone else blurts out that she has a massive cerebral hemorrhage, and now has no pulse...and seconds later we hear the machine go into flatline mode. Rudy removes the oxygen mask from Jaime's face and glances over at Oscar and Steve while sadly shaking his head. After the doctors and nurses quietly amble off, Steve walks over to Jaime's lifeless body, kisses her forehead and cries, "I love you, Jaime. I've always loved you. Waaah!"

Steve stands in his kitchen and gives the room one last look before leaving for D.C. After that, he goes down to the stables to take one last look at his horses...and imagines that Jaime is riding one of them. During the sad reverie, the voice of Lee Majors can be heard in the background singing "Sweet Jaime" - OMFG, who approved that? - and he tearfully stares into space as his grisly singing voice pays homage to his dead fiancee.

Recap:  Colonel Steve Austin is on a mission in a forested area somewhere near the Hungarian border. Oscar Goldman is gabbling at him via an earpiece, telling him that an illegal purchase is about to go down...and by illegal purchase, he means a nefarious counterfeiter named Joseph Ronaugh is attempting to get possession of a special plate (stolen by the Denver Mint) that can replicate American twenty dollar bills. [I wonder if there's a reason he didn't target the fifty or hundred dollar generating plate??] A truck appears on a small pathway in the woods, and Steve zooms in on it with his bionic eye so he can watch the criminals make the exchange. Joseph Ronaugh and his sidekick emerge from the truck wearing matching white suits...and then two other men appear, one of whom is carrying a large steel box. Ronaugh is heard confirming that the deal has been made, and his sidekick exchanges a briefcase filled with cash for the large steel box. Subtle, guys. Ronaugh and his sidekick then load up the steel box in the back of the truck and drive off.

Oscar warns Steve that if he fails to rescue the plate from Ronaugh's clutches, he might replicate enough twenty dollar bills "to bring chaos to the U.S. economy". Steve's like, "I'm on it", then leaps out of his hiding spot and starts running after the truck at bionic speed. He jumps onto the back of the truck and uses his bionic arm to slash an entryway through the metal and climbs inside. He quickly locates the steel box containing the plate - but while he's fiddling with it, an alarm sounds. Ronaugh and his sidekick, who are in the front cab, use some sort of infrared flashlight to peek into the back of the truck...and they're all, "Wha-a?!" when they see Steve extract the plate, then leap out of the truck and speed off. Ronaugh and his sidekick stop the truck and start chasing after Steve - but they soon realize the chase is futile when all they can see is Steve getting tinier and tinier. The side-burn sporting Ronaugh throws up his hands in frustration and snarls, "I saw his face"...and his sidekick wonders aloud how it was possible for the man to get into the truck, steal the plate, then run away at the speed of light. Ronaugh scrunches his pudgy face with confusion and says he has no idea, then narrows his eyes all sinister-like and declares, "But if it takes me the rest of my life, I'll find him. And when I do, he's a dead man." Nooooo!!

After that gripping cold open, the opening credits for The Six Million Dollar Man start rolling...and it's just as awesome as I remembered from the '70s:

Steve Austin, astronaut, a man barely alive.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man.
Steve Austin will be that man.

Steve has decided to pack it in (at least temporarily) and settle down in his hometown of Ojai, California. While he's en route to Ojai, Oscar Goldman calls him to inform him that the Treasury Secretary wants to give him a plaque for recovering the twenty dollar replicating plate in a ceremony that is to take place tomorrow morning. Steve says he'd be happy to accept his award - but in two weeks...after he's had time to settle into his new digs. Oscar's all, "Wha-a?" but it looks like he has no choice but to accommodate him. Steve arrives at "the old Marsden ranch" to meet with a real estate agent, and the two quickly wrap up the purchase of the rural property. As Steve signs the papers, he asks the agent to keep the news of his purchase on the down low until he can straighten up the place...and then we get some superfluous footage of Steve cleaning, fixing stuff, and using his bionic strength to install a new fence. LOL. Eventually, however, his parents get wind of his return to Ojai and drop by for an impromptu visit and guilt trip. 

Steve and his parents are hanging in his kitchen, chatting and reading the local paper. Steve comes across an article about Jaime Sommers, a cute tennis pro he was once sweet on in high school. He stares down at the black and white photo and murmurs, "Jaime.."

The camera cuts to Jaime Sommers, who's playing tennis in teeny tiny white shorts to gratuitously showcase her long, toned legs. Steve arrives at the court and watches her play, then waves her over and says hey. The two hug and kiss, then stroll along and get caught up on each others' lives. He invites her to grab a pizza later, but she declines and tells him she has a date. Steve urges her to cancel - just as they hear a honk, then see a man waving in their direction. Jaime tells Steve that he's her date, David Welsh, and that he's a very nice man. Steve makes a blech face and says he hates him...and Jaime refuses to break the date, but urges Steve to call her tomorrow.

Back at the ranch, Steve looks over his high school yearbook and reads over what Jaime wrote to him. Mama Austin remarks that he and Jaime were once so close she expected them to fall in love...and Papa Austin chimes in and says they'd be delighted if he and Jaime got married. In the next scene, Steve and his dad are ambling around downtown Ojai...and Steve bionically zooms in on a restaurant patio and spots Jaime eating dinner with David Welsh.

Joseph Ronaugh and his sidekick, who are still decked out in their bad guy white suits, are examining a stack of head-shots of Interpol agents to see if any of them resemble the man who stole the plate - but their search is fruitless. Ronaugh barks at his sidekick to assemble a photo file of American agents...and when the sidekick points out that that could get expensive, Ronaugh gives him the green light to spend as much money as it takes the ensure that the unidentified bandit can never cause trouble for him again.

Steve is canoeing on a lake when he bionically zooms in on Jaime while she ambles along a trail. He kicks into bionic gear and speedily paddles until he reaches the shore...and Jaime looks startled to see him. He poutishly tells her it looked like she was having fun on her date last night, and she looks a tad weirded out as she asks, "Are you spying on me?" and Steve replies, "Yeah, why?" and admits that, yep, he's definitely jealous. Jaime says she's kind of turned on by his stalking and jealousy, then informs him that she broke up with David. Steve's all, "Woo hoo!" and says her breakup with David paves the way for the two of them to reconnect. They reminisce about a kiss they shared in high school, and then start smooching. We then get a slo-mo, softly blurred montage of them falling in love, which is summed up with the typical activities that TV characters engage in when they're in the process of falling in love: horseback riding, smilingly eating pizza, and leisurely bicycling together.

Jaime and Steve are hanging at the ranch, and she's cooing about how much she loooves their relationship. Oscar calls to ask Steve when he's planning on returning to work, and adds that he's been getting disturbing reports about Joseph Ronaugh. Looks like the scoundrel has gotten his hands on a coining press that can mass produce spare change. (Bwahaha! Just kidding.) Steve's just like, "Whatever" and tells Oscar to go pee up a rope until he gets around to calling him back later...and Oscar looks understandably miffed. Jaime tells Steve it's going to be a challenge for them to spend time together, but Steve insists it'll all work out somehow.  

Steve and Jaime are spending the afternoon skydiving, which...er, OK. After leaping out of the plane, the lovebirds happily float around in mid-air before it's time to open their chutes. Steve zooms in on Jaime with his bionic eye to check on her and is aghast to notice that her chute is deflating. When she realizes she's in peril, she shrieks, "Helllllp me!" as she hurtles toward the ground and lands in a forest. Ouch. 

Steve is pacing the waiting room of the local hospital when the doctor comes out to give him an update on Jaime's situation: both legs are broken, her right arm and shoulder are toast, and she has a smorgasbord of internal injuries. The doctor tells Steve they're doing their best to save her, but considering what a broken mess she is and that it's the '70s, there's only so much they can do. Steve goes into Jaime's room, and we see that her bloodied head is wrapped in gauze. When her eyes flicker open, Steve tenderly assures her she'll be OK...but she stares at him sadly and says it's obvious she's a goner. Steve looks contemplative for a few seconds and mutters, "There may be a way.." then earnestly asks, "Will you let me try? Will you trust me?" and Jaime sleepily murmurs, "Uh huh."

Oscar bellows at Steve, "That's not possible!" but Steve argues that he's living proof it is possible. He kicks over a chair to demonstrate his frustration, then stomps over to where Oscar is standing and snarls, "I need help - not a handful of red tape!" He agonizes about how Jaime has no hearing in her damaged ear, and that most of her limbs are crushed beyond repair. He insists to Oscar that he has the power to cobble her back together with bionic parts - the way he was reassembled in his show's pilot. Oscar heatedly reminds him that that operation cost taxpayers six million dollars...plus there had been a specific need. Steve argues there still is a need, and that Jaime could be an asset to the Office of Scientific Intelligence - LOL - even though no one's thought to get her (or her next of kin's) consent to rebuild her as a bionic person and then be forcibly recruited as a government spy. Oscar accuses Steve of suggesting this merely because he's in love with Jaime, but then contemplatively stares into space as he mulls over the ill-conceived idea. He asks Steve what Jaime thinks about all this (right?!), but Steve just whimpers, "She's dying" and once more begs Oscar to rebuild his girlfriend.

Jaime is in surgery, and I notice that there are two hilariously fake looking "bionic" legs sitting on a nearby table waiting to be attached. The camera zooms in as Dr. Rudy Wells inserts a bionic implant into her right ear...and I'm guessing he also fixes up all the internal damage she suffered so she doesn't go into multi-organ failure.

Steve is pacing the hall when Dr. Wells comes out to give him the good news: Jaime is responding to her bionic implant and appendages remarkably well! He says she'll probably regain consciousness by morning, then tells Steve that since this whole thing was his bright idea, he should be the one to tell her she's now a cyborg who will forever be beholden to a little known government agency. Steve looks uncomfortable with the task, but reluctantly agrees.

When Jaime regains consciousness, she's delighted and surprised to realize she's not dead. She asks Steve how the doctors managed to repair her shattered limbs, and he tells her she's in a very special hospital where doctors rebuild people into bionic cyborgs. Jaime's all "Wha-a?!", wigs out, and berates him for allowing the doctors to make her into a freak...so Steve tells her he went through the exact same thing, and demonstrates that he too is a bionic freak-show by picking up a metal chair and crushing it with his bionic arm. Steve offers to help with her recovery every step of the way - but emphasizes that her survival will depend on her will to live the rest of her life as a government owned cyborg.

Steve wheels Jaime over to the hospital's gym so she can undergo her first physiotherapy session. She manages to take a few short steps...and in the next scene, she squeezes a tennis ball until it pops. Steve's like, "Ooooh dear" and tells her she's going to have to get her new arm re-calibrated by Dr. Wells.

After a few sessions, Jaime is in the gym, being monitored by Steve as she lifts weights and speed walks on the treadmill. Soon after, the two are jogging outside...and Jaime tells him she's kinda digging being bionic, and jokingly refers to herself as the Bride of Frankenstein. Steve's all, "Wuh?" and asks her if she's hinting about wanting to get married, and she mulls that over and decides it might be a nice idea. Steve says she's just going to have to wait to be asked...then a few seconds later goes, "So...will you? Marry me?" and Jaime happily accepts and gives him a smooch.

Steve and Jaime are at the ranch, having breakfast with Steve's parents. The four excitedly gabble about the wedding and toast the future Mrs. Steve Austin - but when Jaime lifts her glass to partake in the toast, she accidentally shatters it with her bionic hand. When Steve's parents scurry out of the room to get something to mop up the juice, Steve discreetly urges Jaime to get Dr. Wells to re-calibrate her arm. Wasn't she supposed to have done that already? Mama and Papa Austin return with a dishcloth and start mopping the juice that spilled all over the newspaper, which published a photo of Steve above his and Jaime's engagement announcement.

On the other side of the world, Joseph Ronaugh is reading the paper and laughing maniacally as he circles Steve's photo with red ink. It's interesting that engagement announcements from small town California get published on the front pages of major foreign newspapers. Ronaugh gleefully tells his sidekick he now knows the identify of the man who stole the Denver Mint plate: Colonel Steve Austin. He cackles, "Wonderful!" and says that Colonel Austin can expect a very special wedding present from him.

Duhn duhn duhn!