The Bionic Woman - Crossover Episode 4
Recap: Steve and Jaime are en route to Ojai, and Jaime squeals excitedly when she sees the Welcome to Ojai - Home of Astronaut Steve Austin sign and asks him what it was like to launch into space. When they arrive at the ranch, Steve gives her a brief tour...and then the two go slo-mo bionic jogging around the property while - OMFG, noooo! Not again! - Lee Majors' off-key voice creeps into the background crooning "Sweet Jaime". And since this is the third crossover episode this has happened in, I have to assume that the writers weighed all the options (include it vs. why the hell would we torture our viewers by including it?) and somehow made the conscious decision to include the entirety of the song into the script.
For a taste of what it feels like to have to listen to Lee Majors' singing/talking fast voice, enjoy the audio clip (with lyrics if you wish to sing along):
It's been fun, lots of laughs, Jaime.
It always is when friends meet again.
But lately it's gone flat for me, Jaime.
I don't like seeing you, now and then.
Our friendship is finished. That's true.
But there's hope, a way to make it through.
Because, sweet Jaime, I love you.
I never want to say goodbye to you.
Sweet Jaime, I'll love you forever.
I know we'll never part.
I love you like I've loved no other.
Make room for me in your heart.
Jaime calls Michael to tell him that she and Steve arrived in Ojai, and so far she's feeling good. Steve hands her a glass of orange juice, and she stares at it, then goes mute when she has a flashback of the time she broke her glass of orange juice while having breakfast with Steve and his parents during the first crossover episode. Michael asks her if everything's OK, and she breezily tells him she's fine and that she misses him. As soon as she hangs up, she tells Steve she'd like to go for a walk.
As the two stroll around the sprawling ranch, Jaime asks Steve what he thinks of Michael. Steve grunts that he's a good scientist, but Jaime says she was thinking more along the lines of, "Do you think he likes likes me, or just likes me?" and Steve pouts and refuses to answer. As they head down to the lake (where they once kissed), Jaime says she gets the feeling she's been here before, then says what she'd really like to do is go into town. Steve nervously says there's not much to see there...and then the two come upon a tree with various heart carvings etched into the bark, including one that reads 'Steve + Jaime'. Steve covers it up with his hand, and somehow Jaime doesn't notice his lame attempt to hide it from her as she carves a new heart with her bionic fingernail, then carves 'Jaime + ?', which makes Steve look slightly hopeful.
Steve phones his dad to let him know he's at the ranch, and that he'd appreciate some father-son time to moan about the current heartbreak in his life. Before hanging up, he says, "There's something you should know first.." then tells his dad all about Jaime's cryogenic surgery and subsequent defrosting, which...isn't that supposed to be top-secret, classified information?
Papa Austin watches Jaime with binoculars as she rides a horse in the nearby pasture, then shakes his head in bewilderment and mutters, "It's like seeing a ghost." Steve tells him she's completely lost her memory, and that he's going to have to keep her away from town in case someone unwittingly triggers a brain pain inducing memory. Steve admits that taking Jaime places where they used to frolic together, which she no longer remembers, is starting to get to him. He says he just wants to grab her and force her to remember their past life...then dials his emotion back down and thanks his dad for letting him vent. Steve glances out the window and gets alarmed when there's no sign of Jaime. He rushes outside and zooms his bionic eye toward the edge of the ranch and gasps when he sees that the back gate is open. He cries, "She's headed for town!" and wastes no time leaping over the fence and bionically racing toward town.
Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..
Jaime and her horse are trotting toward downtown Ojai while Steve is in close pursuit. When she arrives in town, a couple (the Raymonds) passes her, gives her a double take, and Mrs. Raymond remarks to her husband, "Doesn't that look like Jaime Sommers?" Jaime overhears her, chuckles at the mention of her name (which is weird 'cause she doesn't yet know Ojai is her hometown), and ties her horse to a tree. After that, she ambles toward the town's tennis court and watches a game in progress. Steve, meanwhile, runs into the Raymonds, and after they tell him they saw someone who looks uncannily like Jaime, they point him in the direction of the tennis court. After the tennis game ends, a dorky blonde guy asks Jaime if she'd like to play a set with him, and she's like, "Sure, why not?" When it's clear she's no amateur in the sport, the guy jokes about being hustled, then walks over to Jaime to congratulate her and exclaims, "Hey! I am being hustled! You're Jaime Sommers!" He natters about how awesome a player she is and that he saw her play at Wimbledon last year...and Jaime's attempt to recall her tennis glory days immediately causes her brain to hurt. The guy says he has a few friends he'd like her to meet, then rushes off...and Jaime flashes back to when she whipped her racquet at the fence - and then does it again (which sucks for the person who owns that racquet). Steve arrives just in time to put a comforting arm around her and steer her off the court as she cries, "Oooooh Steve, it hurts! I remember soooo much pain!" She asks him if she used to be a tennis player, and when he says yes, she says that the effort to regain her memory - even when it's something innocuous like being a former tennis player - caused an intense, hot flash of burning pain inside her skull.
Steve checks Jaime into the local hospital, tucks her in, tells her to get a good night's rest, and promises to pick her up in the morning for breakfast. Jaime tells him she wants to see Michael, and Steve masks his disappointment and assures her he'll be in Ojai the following day.
Jaime has a disjointed dream about playing tennis, the time her bionics started to go haywire, and the way she reacted by maniacally running in the rain. When she wakes up screaming, Steve and the nurse rush into her room to see whassup. She cries about her visions and the pain in her brain, then tells Steve she now knows why he brought her here: she grew up in Ojai. He nods and smiles hopefully, but then looks grim when she says that all this memory re-triggering in her hometown is causing her too much physical anguish. She also senses "leaving someone behind" but still can't figure out who it is [even though she's had plenty of flashbacks that make it obvious it's Steve]. She says she needs to leave Ojai, move on, and let Oscar put her to work on secret spy missions. She then lets out a relieved sigh, flops back into bed...and Steve poutishly turns off the light.
Oscar, Rudy, and Steve are examining video footage of Jaime jogging, swimming, and high jumping, and their general consensus is that she's physically progressing at a rapid rate. Rudy says that the cryogenic therapy has magically resolved her bionic rejection issues, and the presence of Michael and his kisses has been helpful in her recovery. As Steve squints with displeasure, Rudy suggests they find Jaime something new and challenging to work on, and Oscar agrees and says he has "an urgent and important mission" that requires the combined skill set of two bionic humans.
Oscar is on a small aircraft with Steve and Jaime, both of whom have parachutes strapped to their backs. (Uh oh...I sense another pain-inducing flashback.) Oscar solemnly pronounces, "Here is your adversary" and shows them a photo of a man named Carlton Harris. Jaime studies the photo and jokes about how dashing he is, and Oscar concurs and says he considers himself to be quite the lady killer. He explains that Harris owns a huge oil refinery on the fake Caribbean island of Melinique and is using his resources to arm a group of militants for the purpose of overthrowing the government. Since the U.S. government can't officially intervene, Steve correctly assumes that their mission will be to "unofficially intervene" and get rid of Harris' stash of weapons and munitions. Oscar nods and warns them that Harris' security is very tight...so they're going to have to bypass them to get into the storage area, plant some explosives, then get out before they're blown to smithereens. Jaime's all, "Wha-a?!" and questions whether she really has the stones to undertake such a perilous mission.
Steve tells Jaime, "We're over the drop zone" and puts his helmet on, and - just as I predicted - this prompts Jaime to flashback to her parachute accident in the first crossover episode. She suddenly starts to rethink the whole notion of being a secret bionic spy and tells Steve she really really doesn't want to jump. Steve assures her it'll be fine, then shoves her off the plane (&%$#!) seconds before he jumps. Fortunately, their chutes open safely, and both land without incident. After rolling up their chutes, the two bionically run toward the refinery and hide in some nearby shrubbery. As Jaime's brain starts to go on the fritz again, Steve zooms in with his bionic eye and spots Carlton Harris arriving at the refinery...and since Harris is a villain on The Six Million Dollar Man, he's easy to spot in his all white suit. Steve tells Jaime he can see Harris talking to one of his goons in front of a giant relay switch and asks Jaime to activate her bionic ear so she can eavesdrop on the conversation. She overhears them talking about security precautions and how there's another relay switch in the control room, and then something about the control room door being booby-trapped. Jaime wonders aloud how they're going to get inside to plant the explosives with all this booby-trapping going on...then reminds Steve that Harris is a ladies man, and maybe she can use that to her advantage. She strips out of her jumper, under which she's wearing a smart black pantsuit with a pretty monochrome scarf tied around her neck. She tells Steve to flip the outside relay switch at 2:20pm - the exact moment she'll flip the relay switch inside the control room...and apparently, this will disarm all of the booby-traps and allow them to plant explosives and blow the whole thing up. I wonder if it wouldn't have been easier to just drop a bomb on the refinery from the plane and call it a day?? Jaime marches purposefully toward the refinery, and Steve stares after her worriedly.
Jaime tells Harris' security guard she's a journalist and wants to interview Mr. Harris...and the security guard hastily escorts her to the big cheese, who eyes her appreciatively and compliments her loveliness. She coquettishly thanks him for taking the time to be interviewed, then suggests they roam around the plant while they talk. Steve, meanwhile, runs over to the refinery and leaps over all the large metal pipes...and bionically karate chops a security guard who gets in his way. Jaime is stroking Harris' ego, calling him "wealthy, powerful, and attractive", and he schmoozily invites to stay for dinner, an offer she pretends to tentatively accept. To move things along, she asks him if she can see the main control room, and he says yes and urges her to follow him.
Jaime and Harris are in the control room, and Jaime fake marvels about all the big levers and buttons. She spots the giant relay switch and looks like she's about to turn it to off when Harris yells, "Jaime!" which triggers a memory of when Steve yelled Jaime! the night her body started to reject her bionics. She looks all spacey and mutters, "Someone's in trouble" and when Harris is all, "Wuh?" she brightens and says, "It's Steve! It must be Steve!" I guess she finally pieced together that Steve is her former beloved, which...duh. In her discombobulated mental state, she tells Harris, "Steve's in trouble - I have to get to him!"...and when Harris is all, "What the fuck are you talking about about?" and grabs at her, she flattens him with a bionic uppercut and flees. It's exactly 2:20pm, so Steve flips the outside relay switch...then sees Jaime on one of the upper levels of the refinery. He races up the stairs just as Harris, who has recovered from the bionic swat and called for reinforcements, chases after Jaime. When Steve manages to intercept Jaime on one of the stairwells, she tells him she heard him calling out to her in the rain that night, and he's all, "Wuh?" then puts a pin in that for now and uses his bionic arm to disconnect a huge steam pipe so he can blast the steam at Harris and his security men as they approach. Harris orders his men to shoot at Jaime and Steve - but fortunately they miss, and Jaime and Steve manage to slip away...but it looks like they really screwed the pooch on their mission.
Back at OSI, Steve tells Oscar that Jaime recalled the night she "died", then decides it's probably best they don't go on missions together anymore. Oscar weakly tries to insist that it was memories of Ojai that broke her brain, not him - but Steve says it's clear that the sight of him gnaws away at her subconscious and self-piteously pronounces, "I'm not good for Jaime." He suggests sending her to Rudy's complex in Colorado Springs for as long as it takes her injured brain to recover, and gives Michael his blessing to continue being his ex-fiancee's budding love interest.
Jaime and Michael are packed up and ready to leave for Colorado Springs when Steve sadly shuffles over to say goodbye. Jaime says she should probably get to know herself before she hooks up with anyone, then says, "Sometimes I look at you and get the feeling there's something more. Was there?" (?? I thought she solved that mystery while she was going squirrelly at the oil refinery.) Steve replies, "Nope. We're just friends" so she gives him a quick smooch, then climbs inside Michael's cute red sports car...and the two drive off as Steve sadly stares after them.
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