The Bionic Woman - Crossover Episode 3
Recap: Steve and Oscar are in a helicopter, en route to wherever their latest mission is being carried out. Oscar tells Steve they'll be at the drop zone in a few minutes, and Steve nods and then starts daydreaming about Jaime jogging. Oscar gives Steve a recap of the mission: prevent two underworld families from joining forces and wreaking havoc onto the world. Apparently, one of the families has stolen classified documents while the other has stolen top military equipment...and despite their deep mistrust of each other, they need each other's help to carry out whatever nefarious deeds they intend to commit. (The mobsters' plan is unclear, but I'm guessing it's more serious than using a plate to replicate American twenty dollar bills.) Steve reiterates that his objective will be to ensure that something goes terribly wrong during the exchange, and Oscar nods and says that with any luck, the two families will just shoot each other, which...yeah, I guess problem solved. LOL. Steve confirms that he has plastic explosives to create a diversion, and Oscar pats him on the shoulder and wishes him good luck. A few minutes, later the helicopter lands, and Steve disembarks and bionically runs toward the mobsters' rendezvous spot: a remote, abandoned building.
Steve uses his bionic eye to spy on the heads of the two crime families, Abe Collins and Chester Goddard, as they arrive in separate convoys and woodenly greet each other. (What the hell kind of underworld names are Abe and Chester??) Just as they're about to exchange resources, Steve throws a plastic explosive into a nearby pile of rubble, which promptly explodes. Abe and Chester are all, "Wha-a?!", snark at each other about how they knew they couldn't trust one another, call off the exchange, and rush back to their respective vehicles. For some dumb reason, Steve chases after one of the vans and throws an explosive at it - then gets struck by large flying debris, which crushes his bionic legs. He urgently radios Oscar to tell him he's injured and needs help. Abe (or Chester...not sure which mob boss is which) runs over to Steve and snarls, "You picked the wrong family to mess with" and points a gun at him...and then stands there long enough for Steve to grab a nearby iron pipe and throw it at him, causing him to collapse to the ground and the gun to fly out of his hand. As an injured Abe/Chester flails around in search of his weapon, the helicopter arrives...and Oscar lowers a long rope where Steve is writhing around. Abe/Chester finally locates his gun and fires on Steve as he's being raised toward the helicopter, but nothing happens 'cause he's fresh out of bullets. Once Steve has safely made it aboard the helicopter, Oscar orders the pilot to head back to D.C. so he can assemble a surgical team to repair Steve's bionic legs, like pronto.
Hospital. A semi-conscious Steve is sacked out on a stretcher while Dr. Rudy Wells and Oscar discuss the extent of his injuries. As they wheel Steve down the hall, he thinks he sees Jaime lying in one of the hospital rooms with an oxygen mask over her face. He bionically zooms in on her, and when it appears to be her, he groggily mutters, "Jaime...Jaime..."
After the commercial break, Steve is still lying on his stretcher, muttering Jaime's name. When Rudy urges him to take it easy, Steve mumbles, "Where's Jaime?" and Rudy and Oscar exchange concerned glances...and then Rudy breezily tells Steve he must be suffering from delirium 'cause of his damaged legs. Steve apologizes for messing up the mission, but Oscar says it's not necessary and commends him for successfully completing the mission (even though he kinda did screw the pooch by needlessly throwing that second explosive, which caused the flying debris). Oscar urges him to get some rest, and then he and Rudy disappear into another room to discuss the Jaime sighting...and Steve starts muttering, "Jaime.." again while daydreaming about her riding a horse in slo-mo.
After a successful bionic reconstruction surgery, Rudy wheels Steve around the hospital grounds. Steve asks him if he'll ever be able to run 60 m/h again, and Rudy laughs and says, "Sure...well, eventually" and cautions him against pushing himself too hard. When Rudy heads back inside the hospital, Steve stays outside and continues wheeling around the grounds. He sees two people playing tennis, then has a flashback of Jaime playing. He then glances over at the hospital...and when he thinks he notices something amiss inside one of the room, he zooms in with his bionic eye to peek into the window and spots Jaime. Steve rapidly wheels himself toward the hospital...and the bionic sound effects (duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..) sound funny as it tries to match the rhythm of his arm movements. When Steve enters the hospital, the security guard tries to stop him from proceeding down the hall, but Steve easily shoves him out of the way and wheels past. When he reaches the room he had peeked into, he's startled to see that the woman lying on the bed isn't Jaime...and he's all, "Wha-a?" and scrunches his face in confusion. Oscar suddenly appears from out of nowhere and tries hard to sound casual as he says, "Oh, hey Steve. Whassup?" Steve insists he spotted Jaime again, so Oscar tries to convince him he much be hallucinating 'cause of all the strain he's been under. As Oscar quickly wheels Steve away, a shifty looking nurse appears and stares after them concernedly.
Steve begins to get himself back into proper bionic working order by going for a jog...and does it while wearing a blue tracksuit with the front unzipped to his navel so we can see his sweaty chest hair in all its glory. Yikes.
Oscar asks the nurse where Steve went...and when she tells him he went for a morning jog in Quadrant 2, Oscar furrows his brows and rushes over to the nearest phone to alert security.
As Steve jogs around Quadrant 2, he notices two orderlies wheeling a woman on a stretcher, and when he zooms in with his bionic eye, he confirms that it's definitely Jaime. He bionically chases after the ambulance - duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh - for as long as he can...but since he's not operating at full bionic capacity, he's not fast enough to catch up to it. He contorts his face in a torturous expression as he stares after the ambulance and murmurs, "Jaime.."
Steve slams Oscar against the wall and threatens him with a bionic karate chop unless he tells him what's going on, and then rails at Oscar and Rudy for letting believe his fiancee was dead. Oscar admits that, OK yeah, Jaime is still alive...and Steve scrunches his face in perplexed misery and asks them what kind of game they're playing. Rudy informs him that Jaime really did die in the operating room...but since Lindsay Wagner (and the idea of a bionic woman) was such a hit with viewers, the producers decided to rewrite history and bring her character back, and are planning to give her her own spin-off show.
Re-constructed, implausible flashback..
We return to the end of the previous episode, after Jaime has just "died" on the operating table. As Steve is tearfully kissing Jaime goodbye, Oscar is approached by his ambitious assistant, Michael Marchetti. Michael tells Oscar and Rudy he's been researching cryogenics and is pretty sure he can save Jaime by deep freezing her organs - but if they intend to do so, they must act quickly! Oscar perks up and asks him if he really thinks it could work, and Michael says he's had a 90% success rate with cryogenically frozen monkeys. LOL. Rudy worries that it might be too radical a procedure for a human bionic person, but Michael rightly points out that since Jaime's dead, she has nothing to lose. Rudy agrees to give it a shot and barks, "Better tell Steve!" but Oscar decides not to 'cause he didn't want him to get his hopes up in case she flatlines a second time. The team of surgeons work at an impossible pace to keep Jaime's organs functioning while simultaneously warding off brain damage. Rudy solemnly describes to Steve that they had to "maintain Jaime's cerebral cell integrity with nominal side effects until her normal circulation could be restored". Sounds intense. A nurse hangs something that looks like a frozen jar near Jaime lifeless body, which Michael then uses to administer his cryogenic therapy. Rudy beams at Steve and says, "I've never been more proud of my team"...and in the flashback, the surgeons stand around in their surgical masks, nodding approvingly at each other. A few seconds later came the final test: shocking Jaime's heart to see if it would start beating on its own...which, of course, it did. Rudy explains to Steve that they've kept all this a secret from him 'cause they had no idea if she'd ever awaken from her coma...or if she'd wake up and then just lay around like a frozen vegetable. Steve insists on seeing Jaime so he can say hello, and Rudy and Oscar mull it over and decide to move this episode along and allow it.
Michael is in Jaime's room, jotting notes on her medical chart. Steve tiptoes into the room with Rudy and Oscar...then goes over to Jaime's bedside and gently says, "Jaime..?" She opens her eyes, turns her head toward him and smiles...then shoots him a quizzical look and goes, "Who are you?" Steve just stares back at her sadly.
Rudy later explains to Steve that while the cryogenic therapy saved Jaime's life and prevented brain damage, it resulted in complete amnesia. He says there's a chance her memory could return...but by chance, he means it's a remote possibility. He says they could try re-stimulating her memory - but by doing so, they'd be re-stimulating the pain sensations that nearly killed her, and apparently that would be very bad. Oscar wonders if Steve could bring back some of those memories in a non-traumatizing fashion - but Rudy advises against it, since it could do her more harm than good. Steve sadly says perhaps it's best if she isn't forced to remember their life together, then asks Michael what she's like now. He just kind of shrugs and says, "She's Jaime...but with no memory", and Steve contorts his face to make himself look as torturously sad and stricken as possible.
Michael wheels Jaime around the hospital grounds while Steve and Oscar watch from a distance. Oscar reminds Steve that he has a lot of working out to do if he expects to get back into full-on bionic mode.
Steve slips back into his blue tracksuit with, yep, the front zipper unzipped at navel level and practices his long jumping skills while Rudy measures his progress with a yardstick. After each jump, Steve's gaze wanders over to where Jaime is doing her physiotherapy with Michael.
Oscar informs Steve that Jaime's strength is returning, and that he'd like him to have a chat with her about being bionic so she can understand the responsibility that comes along with possessing superhuman strength.
Jaime uses one of her bionic hands to bend the metal side of her bed, and looks pleased at her effort. She tells Michael that being bionic is super awesome and asks how many other people in the world are bionic. Michael glances over at Steve, who's standing in the doorway, and says, "Just you and Steve." She looks confused and asks, "Who's Steve?" so Steve enters the room and identifies himself. She recalls that they met the other day, then remarks, "You looked at me so strangely" and Steve hides his disappointment that she still doesn't remember anything pre-faux death. She tells him she'd definitely like to know who she was - but it's frightening, as though something is haunting her...and apparently Michael told her that it could be physically dangerous if she dwells on it. She tells him that she and Michael are "fond" of each other, then suddenly has flashes of Steve from when they were engaged. She furrows her brows in confusion, then tells Steve she needs him to help her adjust to being bionic and asks him if they can be friends. He's like, "Can do" and the two shake on it.
After that, we're subjected to the music video portion of the show with - OMFG - Lee Majors singing "Sweet Jaime" in the background for a second time on the show. Steve jogs alongside Jaime, once again wearing his blue tracksuit with - you guessed it - the front nearly all the way unzipped. The two then work out on a different day, an assumption I'm making 'cause Jaime is wearing a different outfit. Steve, however, insists on continuing to rock it in his unzipped blue tracksuit. I wonder if his second $6 million surgery ate up all the funds for his clothing allowance.
Steve and Jaime hit the pool for an aquatic workout, and this triggers a memory for Jaime: when she broke the phone booth door during the stormy night her bionics went completely haywire. She rubs her temples, then spots Michael approach and gabbles to Steve about how cute he is...but Steve gets irked and grumbles that he isn't into girl talk. She tells him she sometimes gets the feeling she has another fella - but can't, for the life of her, think of who that might be. Michael comes over and compliments her workout and orders her to do more laps so he can dish about her to Steve. Once she's safely out of hearing range (I guess her bionic ear isn't up to snuff yet), Michael tells Steve that Jaime became infatuated with him after he saved her life...but that he's A-OK with crossing the doctor/boyfriend line 'cause of how hot she is. Steve reluctantly says he's willing to let nature take its course and see which guy she ends up choosing.
Steve and Jaime are now testing out their bionic abilities on the high jump. Jaime suddenly remembers jumping over the tractor on Steve's ranch in the previous episode and suffers another headache.
The next day, Steve drops by Jaime's room to collect her for yet another workout. She grumpily says she doesn't feel like it, then playfully hits him with her pillow...and it degenerates into a really lengthy bionic pillow fight with feathers exploding everywhere. Jaime suddenly looks stricken and tells Steve that whenever she feels as though she's about to remember something, her head hurts.
Michael suggests that Steve take Jaime back to her home town of Ojai, California to try to jog her memory further. Rudy goes on record saying he thinks this is a very bad idea, and asks what will happen if someone recognizes her. Oscar says that Steve will need to keep her environment controlled and not allow any of her friends or acquaintances to approach her.
Steve tells Jaime a change of scenery might do her some good, and the two pack up a station wagon for the road trip to Ojai. As Jaime smooches Michael goodbye, Rudy reminds Steve to keep Jaime isolated from people who might say or do something that might cause her to go squirrelly. Oscar tells Steve that this trip could help bring Jaime back to him, but Steve is worried it could also push her further away...and the two just kind of shrug and agree that whatever happens, happens. As Steve and Jaime drive off, Oscar, Rudy, and Michael worriedly stare after the car.
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11/22/2016 06:43:23 pm
Ok, that's funny! Thank goodness for the pics of the workout outfits. I can't believe how incredibly unflattering they are.
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