Recap: At OSI headquarters in D.C., Oscar is showing Jaime video footage of a rodeo rider on a bucking bronco, then tells her his name is Dr. William Cole, resident OSI genius. Oscar then scrunches his face concernedly and adds that Billy's hobby is very costly to the OSI...cases in point: he once suffered a concussion after a rodeo accident, which set back an OSI project for seven weeks, and on another occasion delayed a crucial project after he broke his arm. Oscar says he got so exasperated that he gave Billy an ultimatum - the OSI or rodeo-ing - and when Billy quickly chose rodeo-ing, Oscar backed down and gave him license to pretty much do whatever he wants. He tells Jaime that this weekend Billy will be competing in the Tempelton Frontier Days rodeo in Cheyenne WY, which concerns him 'cause he has "a critical analysis of Max's bionic structure" due next week. Jaime asks him if Billy knows about her bionics, and he tells her he only knows about Max...but is sure that by the time the end credits roll she will have blabbed to him about her bionics, her top secret 6th grade OSI clearance, and also needlessly demonstrated her super human strength in front of whatever rodeo bystanders happened to be in her orbit. He tells Jaime she's going to have to figure out a way to get close to Billy without him suspecting that she was sent to function as his bodyguard...then contorts his face all dreamy-like as he flashes back to when Jaime wore that wretched blue cowgirl onesie outfit in the Road to Nashville episode and wistfully murmurs, "There won't be any problem there, babe."
Rudy is hanging in his lab with Max - hurray, Max is back! - when Billy saunters into the room to check something on the computer. Rudy chides him for wearing cowboy boots in the lab 'cause apparently they pick up static electricity from the floor, which then throws off the readings of their most sensitive equipment. Billy doesn't seem to give much of a rat's ass 'bout that and tells Rudy he just popped by to do a final check of his latest project, the Minerva code. He then says he's off to the rodeo for the weekend and gives Max a goodbye pat.
When Oscar and Jaime knock on the door a few minutes later, Rudy tries to get Max to perform the trick they've been working on: turning the door knob with his jaw to let visitors in. In his doggie eagerness, Max puts way too much bionic strength in the effort and ends up breaking off the knob, along with a chunk of the door. He sheepishly carries it over to Rudy, and everyone chuckles at his cuteness and cuddles him affectionately. Rudy wryly tells Oscar and Jaime that Billy is off on yet another kamikaze rodeo mission, and Oscar throws his hands up and says he's been helpless to do shit about Billy's risky hobby ever since giving him the ultimatum. Rudy bitchily says if Billy wants to go off and be a cowboy they should let him, then puts a finger to his temple and snarks, "He's got the entire Minverva code in his head!" and reminds Oscar that if he should happen to crack his skull after falling off of a bucking bronco and can no longer remember the code, the OSI doesn't even have a written record of it. Oscar's like, "Yep, it's a gamble", then says it's precisely why he's sending Jaime to Cheyenne to play cowgirl this episode.
It's the Tempelton Frontier Days welcoming parade! Jaime - who's sporting a white shirt, jeans, neck scarf and cowboy hat - spots Billy flirting with all the pretty cowgirls, as do two shady looking gangster types who quietly discuss a plot to kidnap him and smuggle him into East Germany 'cause somehow they know he holds "the keys to the Minerva code in his head". Jaime spots two yokelly cowboys dressed in jeans and plaid [and whose names I don't remember so I'm just going to call them Frick and Frack] cackling at each other all yokelly-like...and when she activates her bionic hearing, she hears them talk shit about Billy being a hoity-toity scientist who breezes into the Midwest for rodeo events, then heads back to his fancy job in Washington, D.C. They chuckle about how surprised Billy's going to be when he can't find a hazer...and when I Googled hazer + rodeo, I learned that a hazer is a second rider who rides on the opposite side of the steer to keep it running straight. Sounds like a completely insane thing to be doing, as does rodeo-ing in general, but OK.
Billy gets irked when a friendly old cowboy informs him that Frick and Frack have warned every cowboy attending Frontier Days that if they haze for him, it'll mean big trouble. Billy whines that this could prevent him from winning the coveted silver buckle prize, then shrugs and says he'll just have to make do without a hazer. Jaime, who has been eavesdropping on the conversation from a few feet away, asks the friendly old cowboy what would happen if a rodeo-er competed without a hazer, and he tells her it's simply impossible to wrestle a steer to the ground without the help of a side rider.
Jaime watches Billy do a practice run with his horse...and when he finally notices her perched atop the fence, she flirtily says hi. She tells him she heard he's looking for a hazer, and that she'd be happy to fill in since she's currently out of work...and Billy laughs heartily and says, "But you're a girl", then dickishly adds, "Or is a cow-person?" Jaime tells him she's a woman and in need of a job, but he's like, "Nah, sorry" and says he doesn't want to see a delicate flower such as herself get hurt. She points out that he too could get hurt and suggests they both sit this rodeo out, but he tells her he can't quit when he's soooo close to winning the silver buckle, a prize that may seem dumb to anyone who's never contemplated bronco bucking or steer wrestling. He asks her if she's ever hazed before, and she says no but that she's a fast learner. Billy mulls that over and tells her her first step will be to acquaint herself with Windfire, the horse his hazers use.
Jaime heads over to the stables to get Windfire, and endures misogynist wooting from Frick and Frack - ew - along on the way. When she tells the two yokels she's hazing for Billy Cole, they look put out and decide they need to take it upon themselves to teach "the little lady a lesson to mind her own business". After Jaime enters the horse pen, Frick wraps a chain around the front gate and padlocks it so she can't exit. Very mature. When Jaime sees it a few seconds later, she rolls her eyes and mutters, "Games boys will pay" and bionically breaks it open. She leads Windfire out, credits him for kicking down the door that "somehow" got padlocked in the three seconds she was inside the pen, then casually saunters off...and Frick and Frack stare at each other perplexedly and are all, "Wha-a-a?"
The two gangsters have overheard Frick and Frack talking shit about Billy and decide they need to learn more about how they can use these idiots to further their sinister plan.
Jaime and Billy are saddled up and ready to try a practice run wrestling a steer. Ye haw! Billy's last words of caution to Jaime are, "Don't ride wide" ... but when the gates burst open, she unwittingly rides wide and Billy is unable to wrestle the steer. He glares up at Jaime and snarks about how she's much too weak and skinny to haze properly...but on the second try, Jaime uses her bionic legs to keep Windfire in check and running in more of a straight direction...and Billy is successfully able to wrestle the steer to the ground. When Jaime smiles smugly at him about her remarkable improvement, he tells her she still has a lot to prove, and a lot more practicing to do.
Billy takes a practice run at the bucking bronco event - which looks like a completely insane thing to make a horse do - and it looks like he's able to hang on long enough for the spectators to impressively ooh and ahh. When he climbs atop Jaime's horse afterward, she asks him if she should consider herself hired, and he says he's going to need to get to know her better...over dinner, for example. In the bleachers, Frick and Frack agree that Billy's cowgirl hazer is surprisingly good, then express worry that he could win the silver buckle. The gangsters overhear and conspire, within earshot of everyone sitting around them, about their plan to smuggle Billy into East Germany without arousing OSI suspicion. They decide it'd be a good idea to hire Frick and Frack to kidnap Billy, not least 'cause the OSI would never suspect the real reason he was taken: extraction of the Minerva code.
Jaime and Billy enter a yokelly country-western bar...and Frick and Frack notice their arrival and snidely refer to Billy as "a big city hotshot" before challenging him to a game of pool. Instead of simply declining and getting a table so they can order dinner, Jaime offers to make the break shot...and as Frick and Frack giggle about a weak armed girl interjecting herself in the game, Jaime sends the cue ball hurtling across the table, smashing all of the pool balls in half. She shrugs and says, "Oops, I guess we can't play anymore" and she and Billy head over to the dining area while Frick and Frack stare at the broken balls in befuddlement.
Billy asks Jaime how in blazes she did that, and she breezily replies, "I haven't the faintest idea" and pretends to focus hard on the menu. Billy glumly says he knows that Frick and Frack hate him 'cause he's a nerdy computer jockey who breezes into flyover country a few times a year, then leaves again for his high paying job in the big city. He says he also doesn't fit in with the other scientists when he's in D.C., and therefore always feels like an outsider looking in.
Frick and Frack, who seem to have a lot of time on their hands to moodily glare over at Billy and Jaime all evening, finally decide to wander over to their table and act like schoolyard bullies. When Frick throws a drink in Billy's face without warning, Jaime grabs him by the pants and sends him flying across the bar, then shoves Frack so that he too goes flying. Billy, who's been wiping his eyes from the drink that just got thrown in his face, is all, "Wha-at just happened?!" and Jaime suggests they leave this dump and find a better place to eat their dinner. Billy says he really really wants to stay so they can celebrate their new cowboy/hazer partnership.
Frick and Frack are scratching their heads to figure out what just happened, and decide it had to have been Billy who violently shoved them, 'cause if they had to admit it was the woman, they'd never be able to show their dumb faces in this yokelly bar ever again. Frick grumbles, "He'll be buzzard bait next time" ... and the gangsters, who are sitting within earshot a few feet away, suggest a better way to punish their nemesis. They offer a payment of $5,000 if they're able to kidnap Billy and deliver him to them, and Frick and Frack look intrigued by the idea of committing a serious felony in service of two shady looking strangers and chirp, "Count us in!"
Jaime is leading a drunken Billy over to where his pickup truck is parked, then makes up a bed in the back and helps him climb up. He slurringly calls her "some kind of girl" and laments that he's never had a girlfriend for any length of time 'cause of how busy he is working at the OSI and then rodeo-ing in his spare time. Plus there's the dork factor. He clutches her hand and says that winning the silver buckle and the right girl would be the equivalent of "getting it all", and Jaime looks moved by his smittenness and confesses that she's not exactly what she's been pretending to be. When she looks back down at him to gauge his reaction, he's already fast asleep. She smiles wistfully and covers him with a blanket.
Rodeo time! The next morning, Frick sneaks over to Billy's horse and sabotages him by cutting a thick rope that I'll assume is integral to keeping Billy safely atop his horse while he steer wrestles. A few seconds later, Billy and Jaime obliviously wander over to get ready for their first practice run.
Frick and Frack carefully study the syringes they were each given by the gangsters, which contain a knockout drug to incapacitate Billy.
During the practice run, Billy tumbles to the ground after the rope breaks...and Frick and Frack rush over and pretend to want to be of help. Frick sticks Billy with the syringe...and when Jaime gets suspicious and demands to know what the hell they're doing looming over Billy, Frack sticks the other syringe into her non-bionic arm. As they hoist the two over their shoulders and carry them off, they explain to bewildered spectators that Jaime must have fainted after seeing Billy get injured.
Frick and Frack load up Jaime and Bill in their pickup truck and drive to the remote ranch they arranged to meet the gangsters at. They cackle about collecting their earnings and absconding past the southern border...'cause I guess $5,000 in 1970s Mexico goes a pretty long way.
When Jaime and Billy come to, they're tied up, back-to-back, atop a hale bale inside a barn. Jaime decides 'why not reveal my OSI spy status and secret mission for no real reason?' and blabs to Billy that the only reason she was at the rodeo was 'cause Oscar sent her to protect him. She then needlessly reveals that, like Max, she's bionic...and Billy gets peeved about being lied to and snidely calls her a cyborg freak. Ouch. He instantly looks contrite and adds that he too is a freak 'cause of how brainy he was as a kid while also developing a love for the rodeo, then tells her he feels soooo good inside when he's steer wrestling and really really wants to win that silver buckle. Jaime tells him to go for the dumb thing if it's what he wants, and he gushingly calls her "some kind of gal". Jaime activates her bionic hearing and detects the sound of an incoming plane, then hears one of the gangsters tell the other, "The cargo is ready for loading." Jaime says they're going to have to cut the chit-chat and start working on an escape plan, then bionically breaks the ropes tied around her ankles and wrists, and quickly unties Billy.
Billy swings open the barn door, and Jaime bionically kicks a hay bale at Frick, who crashes to the ground. She then distracts Frack while Billy runs around the barn and leaps atop him, and renders him immobile by hog-tying him with a thick rope. Jaime gushes, "Nice work!", then hears the plane that's about to land and tells Billy they still have a couple of loose ends to tie up, pun intended.
After the plane lands, Billy lassos the gangster who's been waiting on the ground, while Jaime holds the tail of the plane to prevent the other gangster from taking off again. Billy dives inside the cockpit and shuts off the engine and tells the gangster he has no choice but to surrender and endure the indignity of being hog-tied.
In the next scene, Billy and Jaime are speeding back to the rodeo in Frick and Frack's truck so that Billy can get there in time to - fingers crossed! - win the silver buckle.
Oscar, who quickly flew to Cheyenne after hearing that Billy and Jaime were injured, sees the two pull up and asks Jaime whassup. She tells him there's no time to talk 'cause she and Billy have a rodeo event to get to, then points over at the pickup truck and breezily orders, "Take care of the junk in the trunk." A bemused Oscar wanders over to the truck, opens the back, and finds Frick and Frack, along with the two gangsters hog-tied together.
Billy asks Jaime to please not use her bionic strength while she's hazing 'cause he wants to win fairly...and she promises to use only her natural horse-riding abilities. The gates burst open, and Billy bucks around on his horse as grainy archival footage of a real rodeo rider gets inserted to create a really odd looking, disjointed segment. Billy hangs on long enough to win the competition and claim the silver buckle prize. Ye haw!
Oscar tells Billy he's decided to give him the best of both worlds and transfer him (along with Max!) to Colorado Springs, which is less elite-ish and a lot closer to rodeo events than Washington, D.C. After Oscar excuses himself, Billy hands Jaime the silver buckle and tells her he wants her to have it, then flirtily adds that he wants visiting privileges. Jaime agrees to hold onto his beloved prize, stares up at him longingly, and leans in for an intense smooch.
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