Recap: Somewhere in Nashville, a portly country music singer named Big Buck Buckley gets on stage in a glittery jumpsuit and cowboy hat and croons to the enthusiastic [stock footage] audience while strumming his guitar. While that's happening, an OSI agent named Bill enters a nearby phone booth with a portable radio and dials a "code seven scramble call" to Oscar Goldman. Eeeeek! Sounds serious. When Oscar answers the "code seven scramble call", he's mystified when no one is on the other end of the line. The camera pans over to the phone booth, and we see that Agent Bill has disappeared...and that someone wearing black and red cowboy boots is smashing the portable radio with the heel of his boot. Eeeeek! The camera zooms in on Oscar as he scrunches his face confusedly. Over at the Air Force Base school, Jaime is leading her class in a sing-along to practice for the upcoming talent contest. Oscar pokes his head into the classroom to summon Jaime for an OSI tête-à-tête...and she preemptively tries to get out of whatever pain-in-the-ass mission he's about to assign her by telling him she's far too busy to look danger in the face this week 'cause she needs to get her pupils' singing voices ready for the talent contest. Oscar shrugs indifferently - 'cause when has he ever given a rat's ass about Jaime's innermost desire to live the simple life of an Ojai schoolteacher? - and introduces her to Muffin Calhoon (I hit the rewind button...and, yep, this grown man's name is indeed Muffin), a yokelly music insider who's going to escort her to Nashville for a mind-numbing country music related mission. Jaime and Muffin arrive at the airport in Nashville...and Jaime has honky-tonked herself up to a ridiculous degree by decking herself out in a flashy blue jumpsuit, white neck scarf, and cowboy hat. She must have looked really odd milling around the boarding area of the California airport. Muffin gives her an overview of the mission at hand: someone is passing along top secret intel to a contact in Nashville - but no one yet knows who the contact is, or what nefarious things are being done with the intel. The only clue he has is that it's somehow connected to the famous singer, Big Buck Buckley. Muffin grimaces and says he grew up with ol' Buck and therefore can't see him being involved in anything of the espionage variety...so he's mostly hoping to prove Buck's innocence. A few seconds later, a sinister looking friend of Buck's, Penn Mathers, arrives at the airport to pick them up, and - ack! - he's wearing the same black and red boots we saw beat the shit out of Agent Bill's portable radio.
As banjo music plays in the background, Penn chauffeurs the two to Buck's fancy estate. Buck saunters across the driveway and greets Muffin warmly, then is introduced to Muffin's "protege", Jodi Lee Sommers. Buck points out the various amenities on his lavish property: tennis court, huge lawn, recording studio...then says that only people on company business are allowed inside the recording studio. Muffin tells him this is company business, on account of he brought Jodi Lee here to audition for him...and as Jaime has a silent freak-out about having to perform in front of a group of strangers, Buck nods his consent and leads the group over to the recording studio. Jaime quietly notices the insane level of security around the little building: high beam fence, alarm wires, and a trigger at the front door for knockout gas (!) in case someone enters the studio without permission. Once they're inside the studio, where a band is in the process of recording some lackluster '70s music, Jaime activates her bionic hearing and picks up a strange buzzing noise. She also gets her first glimpse of Buck's wife Tammy and her blonde helmet of poofy Tammy Wynette hair. Jaime pulls Muffin aside and freaks out about having to audition for Big Buck and wails that she can't sing worth a darn...and I can only assume the writers forgot about her show-stopping rendition of Feelings in Season 1's Bionic Beauty episode. Muffin breezily assures her she'll be great...and as she approaches the mic to belt out the song she had been practicing earlier with her pupils, a group of backup singers clumps together a few feet away and starts crooning along with her. LOL. Between choruses [that seem to go on forever], Jaime activates her bionic ear to eavesdrop on Penn and Tammy in the control room that looks like a dark room with its crazy red lighting...and she hears Tammy tell Penn that they could "sell him for interrogation". Jaime manages to keep her face expressionless and ends the song by hitting an impossibly high note...and everyone in the studio applauds her performance.
An impressed Buck gushingly tells Jaime she definitely has a future in the music biz...and when she asks him for advice on how to jump start her career, he suggests she find a keeper like Tammy, who somehow managed to revitalize his career after he hit rock bottom. For him, "rock bottom" came about after some hooligan broke into his recording studio and stole the music he had worked on for two years. Not long after that, Tammy came to the rescue and showered him with love, mysteriously generated large sums of cash to invest in his rebooted career, and generally became the person he could write songs for. Soon after the two joined forces, his music began rising up the charts once again. Jaime calls Oscar with an update: she doesn't think Buck is involved in any of the nefariousness she's been dispatched to investigate; however, she's highly suspicious that Agent Bill is being held captive inside or near the music studio, given the ridiculous amount of security surrounding it. She adds that her bionic hearing picked up a strange buzzing noise, and that it might be some sort of code. After dark, Jaime lurks around the recording studio...and once the coast is clear, she bionically leaps over all the security sensors to avoid detection. To avoid getting sprayed with the knockout gas at the front door, she leaps atop the roof of the studio and bionically rips her way into the building through a large vent - dun dun dun dun - and lowers herself into the studio. Inside the control room she spots a secret door, bionically rips it open, and finds a box filled with all the tracks that Penn and Tammy were laying earlier. She takes out one of the tapes, puts it into the machine, and hits play...and as she's listening to the music, she hears the familiar buzzing noise again and deduces that it must be a high frequency code. Buck suddenly bursts into the recording studio and angrily demands to know what she's doing, then leaps to the conclusion that she's trying to steal his shittastic music. Jaime throws in the towel on maintaining her cover and identifies herself as an OSI agent while flashing her badge. Buck's all, "Wha-a-a? I haven't done anything wrong!" so Jaime explains that someone in his inner circle has been inserting high frequency codes into his music for the purpose of passing along top secret intel. Buck mulls that over, concludes it's most likely Penn, and mutters that he always knew there was something shady about that jerkwad. Jaime concurs and says she thinks Tammy might also be involved - but Buck gets all defensive and outright refuses to believe that his beloved Tammy Wynette lookalike could ever be involved in anything so sinister. Jaime refrains from rolling her eyes at the dimwitted sap and says she has no choice but to call the OSI with her findings - but Buck decides 'why not risk a possible espionage charge and prison time?' and pulls out a gun and orders Jaime to put the phone down. He calls Tammy at the main house and tells her to hightail it to the recording studio, then smugly tells Jaime he plans to stand by his woman. What a dumbfuck. The next morning, Muffin (in his pajamas) and Jaime (still in her blue jumpsuit) are being held captive inside the recording studio, while Buck is in the control room, yelling at Tammy and Penn for involving him in criminal activity while he remained so stupidly oblivious. Tammy barks back that she only did it 'cause she needed to make large amounts of cash in order to bankroll his floundering music career, then assures him that this is the last album they have to encode 'cause it's "the final data" and the key to the entire operation. Penn tells Buck and Tammy that since the OSI is starting to close in on their operation, he's going to administer a drug to Jaime and Muffin that will cause them to forget about everything they've seen and heard during this episode. Tammy's like, "Kewl!" and implores Buck to put his faith in this implausible plan...and the dumb oaf mulls that over for a few seconds before deciding to believe that a short-term memory erasing pill 1) exists, and 2) is the best solution to his current dilemma. Buck heads out to get ready for his next show, ignoring Jaime and Muffin on his way to the front door. Jaime whispers to Muffin that they're going to need to make a break for it...and a few seconds later, she leaps into action and bionically shoves a piano at the two security goons manning the door. As they flee through the doorway, knockout gas starts spewing, and Jaime and Muffin choke on the gas and collapse onto the floor. An angry Penn orders his security goons to lock the two inside the control room along with Agent Bill, then set the studio on fire. An alarmed Tammy asks Penn what happened to his plan of administering a memory erasing drug, and Penn smirks and tells her he just made that up so Buck wouldn't freak out. Tammy digests that nugget, decides it's A-OK with her to be an accomplice to a triple homicide, then heads off to the main house to get herself gussied up for Buck's concert. LOL. The two security goons rip into the control room's electrical panel and tear out a bunch of live wires...and this soon leads to a fire and a huge ball of grey smoke that billows around Jaime, Muffin, and Agent Bill.
Over at the concert hall, Tammy primps Buck before he goes on stage for his live performance. Penn hands him his guitar with the encoding device thingy taped inside and reminds him he need only strum the instrument in order to pass along the top secret intel over the radio airwaves. Jaime regains consciousness before being burned alive and urgently pokes at Muffin and Agent Bill. The three stagger toward the door of the control room, which Jaime bionically breaks open, then race towards the main door. Jaime rips out the knockout gas trigger thingy...and a few seconds later, the three rush outside, coughing uncontrollably, but relieved to be alive. Once Jaime's airway is cleared of smoke, she informs Agent Bill that Buck is planning to send out the high frequency code while strumming his guitar during his live performance, which means they need to get to the concert hall asap! Over at the concert hall, Buck readies himself to go on stage. Ho hum. As luck would have it, Jaime, Muffin, and Agent Bill locate a spare car on Buck's estate and race over to the concert hall with the car radio tuned in to Buck's live performance. Tammy has a sudden change of heart and pleads with Buck to not commit treason, then rats out Penn about the triple homicide she assumes was just committed in the recording studio. Buck mulls over that disturbing development, decides he wants to blow the whistle on the entire operation after all, and announces that he's calling the police. Penn pulls a gun on Tammy and snarls at Buck to go on stage and perform as originally planned...and Buck meekly obeys and lumbers on stage and starts strumming his guitar. Jaime, meanwhile, activates her bionic hearing and her ear picks up the encoded buzzing noise over the radio. The three pull up to the concert hall and burst in through the back door...and when two armed men attempt to stop them, Jaime incapacitates them by bionically lowering a giant stage curtain atop them. Muffin (who's still in his pajamas) finds a long rope and uses it to lasso Penn away from Tammy [that was not a misprint; Muffin really did lasso Penn away from Tammy]...and when Buck notices all the crazy shit happening backstage, he abandons his performance and rushes over to comfort his sobbing wife. The clueless audience begins chanting, "We want Buck!", so Buck brings Tammy on stage with him so she can stare adoringly at him while he finishes his song. Jaime watches the two idiots who fully realize they're in deep shit, her face scrunched solemnly.
Back at the Air Force Base school in Ojai, Oscar tells Jaime that Buck and Tammy have been charged with treason and/or espionage, and that it's pretty certain that the two will serve time in prison. Jaime tears up 'cause of how horrible she feels for the nitwits, while Oscar just shrugs indifferently and is all, "Meh." The two return to Jaime's classroom, where Muffin is leading a sing-along with Jaime's students...and as the kids enthusiastically sing one of Buck's songs, Jaime's eyes get even more tear-filled. It remains unclear why she gives this much of a shit about two such foolish morons. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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