Recap: Oscar is at the National Aeronautics Space Administration, overseeing a beta rocket launch to test the dispersal of some OSI-manufactured explosive magic dust that will help restore the earth's damaged ozone layer. One of the scientists tells Oscar they're receiving some kind of radio interference from deep space...and Oscar scrunches his face concernedly and orders his team to look into what this could possibly be. When the interference disappears a few minutes later, he shrugs unconcernedly and orders everyone to proceed with the rocket launch as scheduled. After the explosive magic dust has been dispersed into space, the scientists happily report that the ozone layer atop California has increased by 2.7%, and everyone woots, high-fives each other, and gabbles about how excited they are to undergo step 2: disperse enough explosive magic dust to fix the depleted ozone layer around all of planet earth. Sounds like an ambitious endeavor - kudos, OSI. One of the scientists, Chris Williams, tells Oscar he's off to meet his lady for a lunch date...and Oscar asks him if this lady happens to be a willowy tall blonde to whom he lost his heart years ago, which...give it up, Oscar. Jaime-babe is never going to love you that way. Chris awkwardly replies, "Uh...yes?"
Jaime arrives at the Space Administration building to pick up Chris, and he gives her a smooch and gushes about how hot she's lookin' in the silky pajama ensemble she decided to slip into that day. He tells her about the radio interference they picked up during the rocket launch...which probably has something to do with why they decide to stop in at an abandoned building/bunker (?) that's giving off weird beeping noises. Jaime covertly breaks the door lock, then lamely tells Chris - one of the few OSI employees who's somehow unaware of her bionics - that the padlock broke in her hand 'cause it must have been rusted through.
The camera pans over to a mysterious looking old man who's meditating in front of a plate of crystals...and is dressed in a potato sack robe and rocking a fluffy white page-boy hairdo.
Jaime and Chris encounter a stairwell that's blocked by big chunks of concrete. Jaime sends Chris off to look for something that might help pry them loose...and as soon as he's out of sight, she bionically moves the concrete chunks out of the way. When Chris returns sooner than she expected and catches her in the act, he goes, "Bionic, right?" and she nods and asks him if her cyborg wiring is a turnoff to him. He's like, "I dunno...exactly how much of you is bionic?" - ouch - and she mumbles, "Not too much."
As Jaime and Chris descend further underground, a scantily clad Inca warrior awakens covered in sand - nope, that's not a misprint - then scrambles to his feet and picks up a crude looking weapon. Jaime's bionic ear continues to detect beeping noises, and she reacts by smashing her way through the building's drywall in order to pinpoint the source. Eventually, she and Chris discover an ancient tunnel, and Chris climbs through first and is promptly knocked unconscious by Inca Warrior. When Jaime finds herself face to face with Inca Warrior, she's all, "The fuck?" and tries to fight him bionically, but is quickly subdued when he tosses sparkly dust in her face.
Back at the Space Administration building, Oscar asks his team why Chris is MIA. Some OSI flunky named Jim says he left with Jaime five hours ago and the two haven't been seen since.
Jaime regains consciousness inside a cave and finds herself laying paralyzed on a big stone bed. She glances around and spots Inca Warrior, along with the white haired old man, who she quickly realizes is able to read her thoughts. He introduces himself as Ky, then starts babbling about a pyramid that got lost in the earth's innards during "the wind of ages". He then points his bony finger at Jaime, which results in her regaining the use of her limbs. She gets up and quickly checks on Chris, who's laying immobile on the ground...and Ky assures her he's just paralyzed, and will be revived whenever he feels like pointing his bony finger in his direction. He then tells her his bizarre backstory: five thousand years ago, he and his other-worldly friends came to earth to teach humans important stuff about stars and rocks...but when humans turned out to be too primitive and savage for their taste, the other-worldlies (sans Ky and, I'll assume, Inca Warrior) were like 'fuck this' and hastily returned to their home planet. Ky says he's been left to rot inside this forgotten pyramid cave ever since, and awaits the return of his people's mother ship...which, incidentally, is currently en route to earth - but faces peril from Oscar's upcoming rocket launch. Ky informs Jaime that he sent Inca Warrior to put a stop to the launch, then ominously adds, "If he fails, all life on planet earth will die." Sounds like the writers may have been running out of fresh ideas by Season 3, 'cause this dire warning seems pretty derivative of the Doomsday is Tomorrow two-parter.
Jim tells Oscar that conditions in space are perfect for the official rocket launch, aka Operation Ozone Layer Repair. Oscar nods approvingly, then orders an APB on Jaime and Chris.
Jaime assures Ky that the rocket launch isn't designed to hurt anyone, but rather fix the pooched ozone layer. Ky explains that the sodium chemical change that makes up the explosive magic dust is going to conflict with the electromagnetic propulsion system of his planet's mother ship...in other words, it'll cause the thing to blow up. He warns that when that happens, his people will assume they're under attack and retaliate by blowing up planet earth...but neglects to explain exactly how his people will be able to retaliate after getting blown up in the space ship they were riding around in.
Inca Warrior is too late to stop the rocket launch and the subsequent release of explosive magic dust. Ky senses something amiss, fondles a plateful of crystals while staring worriedly into space, and tells Jaime, "We've lost. The warrior failed." Well, sheee-it.
Back at the Space Administration building, Oscar's OSI team picks up a UFO signal that indicates it's headed straight for earth.
Warrior Inca returns to the cave just as Ky un-paralyzes Chris. Ky natters for several looooong, tedious minutes about pyramid capturing and storing cosmic energy, then grumbles about how the primitive humans he tried to school five thousand years ago insisted on filling tombs with unnecessary food and treasures. He tells Jaime and Chris that when the sands of time buried this pyramid, it lowered the "stored power of bio-cosmic energy", which means he no longer has the brain power to activate a transmitter to his mother ship. Jaime asks him if he can think of any other source of power that might work - a big, charged up battery? - and he says she could help out by a) finding him a ginormous crystal or b) sacrificing the bionic power pack he somehow knows she carries around beneath her skin. That's an interesting bit of bionic trivia I didn't know before. Jaime's like, "Ack! I need that power pack to live!" and Ky breezily retorts, "The gain justifies the risk." OK, well...easy for you to say, Obi-Wan. Chris recalls that Rudy has been experimenting with crystalline forms and is pretty sure he has a large crystal stored inside his office safe. Jaime offers to go get it...and Ky says he likes that idea and orders Inca Warrior to accompany her, while Chris will be kept as an unwilling captive to ensure her hasty return.
The alien mother ship continues to make beeping noises as it approaches earth. Oscar and his team spot the ship on their radar and worry that it's a dangerous meteor hurtling its way through space.
Jaime and Inca Warrior sneak into the OSI, go upstairs to Rudy's lab...and Jaime uses her bionic ear to crack the safe and extract the giant white crystal. A security guard suddenly bursts into the room, and Inca Warrior reacts by leaping out of the window with the crystal. The security guard warns Jaime not to move, but she throws a barbell at him and also leaps out the window. She finds the crystal laying on the ground where Inca Warrior dropped it, then picks it up and bionically races in the direction of the pyramid cave. On the way she finds an injured Inca Warrior...and the two stare awkwardly at each other for what seems like a looooooooong time - until he's finally willing to let her help him to his feet so he can hobble back to the buried pyramid cave with her and hopefully prevent the destruction of earth.
OSI security calls Oscar to inform him that Jaime just broke into Rudy's lab and stole a large crystal from his safe. Oscar's like, "That makes zero sense...though it's pretty much in keeping with the rest of this nonsensical episode", then calls up whoever has custody of Max this episode and orders that the pooch be brought to Rudy's lab asap.
Jaime and Inca Warrior return to the cave with the giant crystal. Ky examines it carefully, then deduces that it's too unstable to be used as the sole power source to contact the mother ship. Jaime's all, "Fuuuuuuuuuck" and gives him permission to take her bionic power pack, and Ky promptly removes it from her upper arm and inserts it into his communications dashboard thingy.
Oscar tells Max, “Jaime’s in trouble, I need your help, boy” and Max is like, "I'm on it!" and scampers off to save the day.
Ky uses the giant crystal, along with Jaime's bionic power pack to send an urgent message to his people to stay far away from earth, then warns Jaime and Chris to get the hell out 'cause there's about to be a risk overload situation inside the cave. Jaime and Chris beat a hasty retreat just as everything inside the cave starts smashing apart and catching fire. After several desperate attempts, Ky is finally able to get a message through to his people: 'abort! abort! go back to your home galaxy'. Hurray!
Chris carries a weakened Jaime to her car - just as Max appears and smothers her face with doggie kisses. Sweet! Oscar appears a few seconds later, learns from Chris that Jaime's power pack has been removed, and immediately calls for an ambulance. He coos, "You're going to be all right, babe" and asks her what in blazes went on inside that abandoned building. When Jaime just stares contemplatively into space and declines to respond, Oscar says, "Maybe you'll tell me about it someday" ... and then the camera pans over to the mother ship, which looks to be retreating towards outer, outer space.
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