Recap: Amanda tells Alison that since they've been getting slammed with so many new client accounts, the D&D powers-that-be have decided to create an opening for a second Junior Account Executive. Amanda invites Alison to be a part of the hiring process, given that she'll be working so closely with this new person, and a pleasantly surprised Alison perks up at that and thanks her for the opportunity.
Over at the hospital, Sydney complains to Matt about how horrible her life has been ever since Kimberly returned from the dead...and Matt's like, "Go tell someone who gives a rat's ass", tells her she's finally getting what she deserves, and stomps off. Sydney then runs into Kimberly, who asks her what in the hell she's doing at the hospital...and when Sydney haughtily says she's looking for her husband, Kimberly grabs her and yanks her into the nearest vacant exam room. Sydney defiantly tells her she's old news and doesn't care that she's been suddenly resurrected by the Melrose Place producers, and Kimberly snarlingly calls her "an opportunistic little bitch" who's dumber than she looks if she actually believes that her blackmail-fueled shotgun wedding is going to protect her from a crazed woman bent on revenge. She warns her to stay away from both her and Michael or else, confirms that 'yes, this is a threat so you should be scared', and stalks out of the room.
Linda Gray drops by D&D at lunchtime, and Amanda tells her mom she's thrilled about their lunch date, then says she's been sooooo busy all morning looking at resumes for a new Junior Account Executive. Linda Gray's like, "Really?" and tells her that Chas just happens to have an extensive background in marketing, and Amanda somehow manages to keep a straight face at the obvious load of bullcack Chas has been peddling and says, "Really? I had no idea." Linda Gray then breaks the news that she can't make lunch - but that Chas is free [him currently being unemployed and all], and that she should use the opportunity to exercise a little nepotism and offer the job to her vapid boy toy.
Jo is photographing models frolicking in the sand in D&D's never-ending beach photoshoot when Sarah Owens wanders over with her boyfriend Hank. After being introduced, Hank smarmily tells Jo he just moved to L.A. to possessively hover his gal to ensure that she stays normal while working in this "twisted business", then sourly adds that it's inevitable someone with sleazy intentions is going to take advantage of the naive eighteen year old model. Jo assures him that the modelling business isn't always a total snake-pit, and Hank's like 'yeah whatever' and says he was super relieved when Sarah's new friend Jo turned out to "just be a woman". Sarah stupidly giggles, "Isn't he the sweetest?", and Jo somehow restrains herself from coming right out and telling her that no, Hank isn't remotely sweet, and that he comes across as a pissy little man-bitch.
Over lunch, Amanda tells Chas she has to consider other applicants for the Junior Account Executive job, but that he can take part in the process like everyone else by coming to D&D for an interview later in the week. Chas tells her he really really wants the job, apologizes for rubbing her leg with his foot the other night ('cause blech), and "explains" that he's just a harmless flirt. Amanda mulls that over, says if she hired him their relationship would be strictly business, and asks him to articulate why he thinks he's a worthy candidate...and so he rattles off his mostly fake credentials:
Amanda makes it clear that her work means everything to her and that she expects everyone on her team to share this sentiment, and Chas assures her that he'll be more than happy to pretend to do exactly that.
In the hospital parking lot, Sydney spots Michael getting into his car, so she runs over and says he can't possibly want to dump her and go back to Kimberly...and he's like, "Watch me." Sydney tells him that Kimberly has become mad as a hatter, and that earlier she grabbed her arm and threatened her. Michael chuckles and says he'd like to break her arm, snappishly tells her she's his ex-wife, and orders her to back away from the car so that he doesn't run over her toes.
Alison enters Amanda's office to report that she's carefully hand-selected some promising resumes for the new Junior Account Executive position, and Amanda's like, "That's nice, but I already hired someone" and then introduces her to Chas, who's been quietly standing on the other side of the room. When Alison remarks on how quickly this came about, Amanda tells her that Chas is her mom's future husband and so she figured 'why not throw all common sense out the window and skip a proper recruitment process by hastily hiring a shady creep I haven't bothered to properly vet?' It's interesting that Amanda somehow didn't learn her lesson about the perils of hiring weird men on the spot so soon after the Ted Ramsey debacle. Alison asks to speak to Amanda in private so that she can call her out on the dickishness of promising to involve her in the hiring process only to pull the rug out from under her by doing something as unprofessionally boneheaded as hiring her mother's fiancé without so much as an interview. Amanda chides her for not acting like more of a team player, and then the two glare at each other in mute loathing.
Michael returns home and finds Kimberly standing on the deck of the beach house, staring out at the ocean. She tells him she's still pretty miffed about how quickly he got over her "death" and married/slept with Sydney. Michael explains that he only did that 'cause, aside from being blackmailed, he was so crazed with grief and loneliness. Kimberly tells him she "understands it all now" and says she had an out-of-body experience while she was in a coma, which brought her to the other side...and that once she regained consciousness, she decided she was never going to compromise herself for a man ever again. She firmly tells Michael that from now on they're going to be doing things her way, and then gives him a forcible smooch.
Jo is photographing Sarah aboard Jake's boat, asking whassup with her being in a relationship with an insecure moron like Hank. Sarah dreamily says they're high school sweethearts, that he's a farmer by trade, and that they've gone through plenty of rough times, but always work shit out [not least 'cause she's still too young and simple-minded to realize she deserves far better].
Sydney is hanging with her stable o' hos by the Melrose Place pool and giddily tells them it's their new headquarters. The hos look thrilled by the arrangement and wank Sydney about what a natural she is as their new pimp. A few seconds later, Amanda enters the courtyard, stares at the hos with distaste, and pulls Sydney aside so they can speak privately. She tells her that the pool is for tenant use only and orders her to ask her friends to leave - but Sydney argues that, according to her lease agreement, she's permitted to have guests on the premises. She then informs Amanda that she's hosting a party tonight, and clarifies that since it's a ho's only type affair, she's not invited.
Jake informs Jo and Sarah that the boat's engine is pooched, which essentially means they'll be stuck at sea until someone can speedboat over with whatever mechanical part needs replacing. Jo and Sarah says they're A-OK with that, while Jake laments missing a scheduled dinner with Amanda, her mom and Chas.
Amanda arrives at the restaurant and tells Linda Gray and Chas that Jake can't make it 'cause he's stuck out at sea. Linda Gray proposes a toast to Chas's future at D&D, and Chas toasts Amanda by calling her "my new boss, and a great woman". Linda Gray looks slightly put out by the compliment, then hastily recovers and says that naturally Amanda's so great 'cause she takes after her side of the family. Amanda remarks to her mom how much her dad would love seeing them dining out together and getting along so well, and Linda Gray reacts by pissily bitching about how the manipulative hustler forbade her from seeing her own daughter. She and Amanda then bicker back and forth about the shittiness/virtues of Papa Woodward...blah blah...until Amanda abruptly gets up from the table and makes a beeline for the exit. Chas gets up and rushes out after her and nonsensically explains that Linda Gray runs a ruthless business, and that sometimes her ruthlessness crosses into personal life territory. Amanda politely thanks him for being so understanding, then urges him to get back to the table and finish having dinner with his sugar momma.
Jake tells Jo that his relationship with Amanda is going great, except for the part about her not being much of a family person - while he, on the other hand, dreams of one day having a family. Jo tells him that she currently has zero male prospects on the horizon, then wanks him about what a great father he'll be if/when the time comes. Jake perks up at that last thing and leans in for a kiss, but Jo snaps, "Don't" so he quickly backs his face away.
Ho party! The stable o' hos tell Sydney how impressed they are with all the food and champagne she's providing them with, and that they absolutely looooooove being together again. A few seconds later, Kristian Alfonso makes a dramatic entrance and condescendingly shrieks, "You call this a party?!" and explains that her lawyer finally got her released from jail on a technicality. She turns the stereo off, announces to everyone that they're all heading over to her luxury pad so they can really party, then turns her attention to Sydney. Once the apartment has been emptied out, she stonily informs Sydney that she owes her 15K, and Sydney's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and reminds her that they had agreed to a 50/50 split of the profits. Kristian Alfonso smirkingly replies that she remembers it being more like 75/25...and when Sydney protests, Kristian Alfonso's henchman smashes one of Sydney's wall photos while glaring menacingly at her. Kristian Alfonso says she wants her money asap...and when Sydney says that all she can scrape together is 10K, Kristian Alfonso says she has until the end of the week to come up with the rest. And that she won't be permitted to rejoin her prostitution ring as a means of working it off.
Amanda makes it clear to Jake that she's miffed at him for not making last night's dinner and complains about how she's never a priority for him. When he sheepishly says he wants to make it up to her, she invites him to dinner tomorrow night and warns that he'd better show up or else.
Chas is yukking it up with Bruce Teller and suggesting they start up a weekly D&D poker game. Bruce is like, "Great idea!" and offers his Brentwood house as the venue, and lays it on thick - in full hearing range of Alison - about how much D&D needs a great Junior Account Executive like him around. Once Bruce is out of earshot, Chas hands Alison the report he's supposed to have done by the end of the day and tells her to get busy...and when she's all, "The fuck? I have my own work to do!", he cheekily reminds her that Amanda had decreed that her job is to help him out, then smugly adds, "Now would be a good time for you to start doing it" before sauntering off.
Sarah desperately bangs on Jo's apartment door...and when Jo lets her inside, she tearfully explains that Hank slapped her around after once again becoming enraged about her modelling career and all the time she spends time around men who aren't him. Jo gives her a comforting hug, urges her to not go back to him, and invites her to stay at her place for awhile.
Over at the hospital, Kimberly summons Michael to a vacant exam room, removes her lab coat to reveal that she's wearing nothing underneath but a red bra and panties, then sucks his face in yet another amorous smoochfest. She then slides her hand to his nether regions, and he closes his eyes dreamily and looks totes into getting pleasured while he's supposed to be on duty.
Sydney goes to Jane's apartment to beg for her sister's compassion, apologize for having behaved so hideously during the last several episodes, and cry in desperation about how scared she is 'cause she owes her former pimpette a lot of money. Jane firmly says she won't help her anymore, can no longer pity her, and half-heartedly hopes she finds her way out of this self-inflicted money conundrum. She then closes the door in Sydney's face, and Sydney repeatedly bangs on it and pleads for her help...and Jane is reduced to tears as she leans against the other side of the door while staring mournfully into space.
Jo drops by Jake's place to let him know that Sarah is staying with her for a little while after being smacked around by her abusive turdpile of a boyfriend. She asks if he wouldn't mind being on the lookout for Hank tonight in case he comes looking for Sarah, but Jake says he can't do it 'cause Amanda'll put his nuts in a vice if he cancels out on one more of their dinners. A few seconds later, Amanda calls to confirm their dinner plans, and gets annoyed when Jake tries to pin down an exact start time for their dinner and chides him for not wanting to be with her 100%. Jake assures her he's committed to their dinner plans and that tonight he's all hers.
Sydney enters a strip club called Body Stocking, featuring the ever classy Live Nude Girls signage on the building's exterior. She tells the creepy looking manager she'd like to apply for the job opening as stripper, says she has lots of pole-dancing experience, then admits that she's only in this sleazy dive 'cause she needs to earn a lot of cash pronto.
Dr. Levin tells Kimberly how happy everyone is that she's returned from the dead, then advises her to not continue pursuing a relationship with Michael. He urges her to break it off and makes it clear that he has zero respect for the man...and Kimberly leans in close and tells him not to worry 'cause she's on a mission, and that very soon all will be revealed about her nefarious plans.
Billy arrives at D&D to pick up Alison so they can head over to a catering appointment. Alison complains to him that she's swamped with work 'cause of the lazy moron Amanda just hired, then abruptly decides to march over to the conference room and give Amanda the what for for hiring her future stepfather, a man who's proving himself to be more asshole-ishly inept than she originally feared.
Chas, meanwhile, has entered the conference room, where Amanda is moping about Jake's lackluster attitude about tonight's dinner. Chas gushes about how amazing she is, then caresses her hand and coos about how she's a one-of-a-kind, precious flower to whom even Linda Gray cannot hold a candle. He leans in for a smooch, and despite it seeming totally out of character for the supposedly savvy and sophisticated Amanda to fall under the spell of a brazenly sleazy jerkwad like Chas, she totally gets into it and smooches him back. As that's happening, Alison happens to wander over and witnesses the kiss...and her 'the fuck?' reaction is witnessed by Chas, who makes sure she gets an eyeful before drawing the blinds.
Hank storms over to Melrose Place and is banging on Jo's door, demanding that she open up...and Jo tells Sarah she'll handle this lunatic and stupidly opens the door. Hank barges in past her, grabs Sarah, and decrees that they're leaving L.A. Jo rushes out after them and threatens to call the police, then cries out to Billy and/or Matt for help just before Hank flails his arm in her direction and shoves her down the staircase. Sarah watches in horror as Jo topples down the stairs in slo-mo...and the camera zooms in on her lifeless form.
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