Recap: Amanda spots Alison on the street as the two approach the D&D building, says good morning, then asks to see the report she asked her to write. Alison pulls it out of her briefcase and proudly says she worked on it all night...and Amanda gives it a once over, makes an ew face, and dismissively calls it slipshod work. When Alison suggests they let Lucy look at it and decide how slipshod it truly is, Amanda snappishly says she really doesn't care what Lucy thinks of it, then wearily says, "Forget it" and asks her how Billy's doing. Alison tells her he got a fact checking job at Escapade Magazine, and Amanda chirps, "Good for him!" and credits herself for always encouraging Billy to improve himself. LOL. Alison tells her she thinks it's best if she and Billy don't communicate anymore, 'cause 1) his life seems complicated enough right now, and 2) it's painfully obvious he's no longer interested. Amanda breezily retorts that she's glad to hear he's doing well and snidely says she hopes that she (Alison) will start doing a better job on her D&D reports.
Cameron tells Billy he called Columbia to get samples of his writing - but that no one could find anything attributed to him in the college newspaper archives. Billy says he probably used his pen name, William Campbell, but Cameron smugly retorts that he used all the variations of his name - William, Bill, Will, Willy, Billy-Willy, Willy-nilly - and still came up with nothing. He accuses Billy of lying on his resume and threatens to out him to Nancy...and Billy says, "Go ahead" - just as he receives a call from Nancy summoning him to her office pronto. Cameron shoots him a smug grin and says, "I already did." Tattletale.
Billy confesses to Nancy that he lied on his resume - but, in his defense, only did it 'cause he didn't think she'd hire him if he hadn't attended a fancy school like Columbia. Nancy says she hired him 'cause he has potential, then decides she's A-OK with his deviousness and assigns him to cover a dog wedding in Hollywood. As Billy woots excitedly at landing the puff piece, Nancy says she believes in second chances and warns him to not let her down.
At the hospital, Kimberly tells Michael she has a tattoo in a place he'd never suspect, then asks him to guess where. He's like, "Shoulder?" so she coquettishly bares a shoulder and goes, "Nope" ... and he also guesses wrong about her leg and ankles. When he gives up on the tediousness of guessing which of her body parts is tattooed, she reveals that the tattoo is a butterfly that she impulsively got during a torrid affair while in medical school.
Matt and Rhonda are lunching at Shooters when Rhonda says she's been noticing a guy checking her out from across the bar. A few seconds, the ogler wanders over - but focuses his attention on Matt and introduces himself as Scott Daniels, aka a lawyer from the firm that had handled his wrongful dismissal/discrimination suit. He gives Matt his card and suggests they get together for dinner sometime, and Matt blushingly promises to give him a call.
Amanda leaves Billy three 'please call me!' phone messages, 'cause she's somehow unaware that she's hot enough to have any man she wants and could therefore do a helluva lot better than a vapid lightweight like Billy. Alison hastily hits delete just as Billy arrives home and excitedly tells her he got the green light to cover a Hollywood dog wedding - LOL - and when he asks her if he got any messages, she shakes her head and says that it looks like the answering machine is on the fritz again.
A few days later, Nancy reads over Billy's dog wedding article and gets all touchy feely with his shoulders as she gushes about how much she looooves his writing. She tells him she's so impressed that she's promoting him to staff writer, and he squeals happily and exclaims, "I don't know how to thank you" ... and Nancy slyly retorts, "We'll think of something." Heh. And ick, Nancy. Ick.
Amanda admonishes Alison about yet another subpar report she wrote that once again isn't worthy of showing to Lucy. She says she doesn't mean to be harsh, but that her work is nowhere the level it was before she "ran off to Seattle with Keith". Alison grits her teeth and smilingly concurs with the "constructive" criticism, then gets a call from Billy, who excitedly tells her he was just appointed staff writer at Escapade. Alison's like, "That's great Billy!" and proceeds to repeat, in full hearing range of Amanda, the time and place of the celebratory dinner he's throwing for the entire Melrose Place gang that evening. Amanda makes a mental note of that intel and tells Alison to pass along her hello to Billy.
At Billy's celebratory dinner, Jake toasts Billy's promotion, and Billy thanks everyone for their friendship. A few seconds later, Amanda shows up to pick up her takeout and is all, "What a surprise to see you all here!" - LOL - and tells Billy she's been leaving messages on his answering machine. He's all, "Wha-a-a?" and says he never received them, likely 'cause the answering machine has been acting up. Amanda buys that fib and tells him they should talk, then kisses his cheek and murmurs, "Call me." Jake stares quizzically at Billy and asks whassup with the hot woman he dumped still paying that kind of attention to him, while Michael openly expresses how dazzled he is by Amanda's blonde gorgeousness.
After dinner, Jo remarks to Alison how weird it was that Amanda just happened to show up at their dinner party, and Alison tells her she's been erasing Amanda's messages for Billy. Michael, meanwhile, urges Billy to follow his libido and keep Amanda around as a fuck buddy if she's game...then laments that he doesn't have that luxury, being married and all - but then wonders aloud, "Or do I?" LOL. Jake concurs with the first thing Michael said and advises Billy to take a second look at Amanda and reconsider tapping that again.
While Jake and Jo canoodle in bed together later, Jake says that Michael clearly has a wandering eye and was gauging his and Billy's reactions to him wanting to seek out some extramarital hanky panky. Jo shakes her head disapprovingly and says she thinks that Michael is heading into dangerous territory...and I kind of zoned out during the rest of that conversation, which gets cut short anyway when they abruptly stop talking and go at it in earnest.
Alison confesses to Billy that she erased Amanda's messages from the answering machine, then apologizes for also not passing along her verbal 'hope you're doing well' messages. She offers to make up for her deviousness by taking him to lunch tomorrow, and he happily takes her up on it...and doesn't look remotely upset at missing out on Amanda's many messages.
Alison arrives at Escapade Magazine at around noon, and Cameron greets her and tells her that Billy is currently schmoozing with the boss. He points at a nearby conference room with a big window wall so that everyone can see Nancy perched atop the conference table in a miniskirt, baring her shapely legs to Billy, who's seated on the chair beside her.
Nancy is gigglingly telling Billy an anecdote about men and the unsightly comb-overs they sometimes like to sport. Billy suggests doing a future puff piece on that...and Nancy says that's a great idea, then ruffles his hair and says it doesn't look like he has any reason to fear balding anytime soon.
After lunch, Alison tells Billy that Nancy is clearly flirting with him - but Billy laughs it off and says he's under the illusion that Nancy hired him purely for his writing talent. When he chides her about always thinking the worst of people, she snaps, "Fine!", thanks him for joining her for lunch, and huffily storms off.
Kimberly tells Michael that the dermatologist she's been dating dumped her for his ex-girlfriend...and that last night she wept bitter tears, not for the guy who dumped her, but rather the guy she's currently just friends with who she can never have. As the two clutch hands, Michael cluelessly asks her if this friend knows how she feels about him...and she shoots him a smoldering look and says, "He does now" and purrs about how much she'd looooove to spend the night with him. Michael responds by staring back at her with a pained look on his face.
Matt heads out for his dinner date with Scott Daniels. He runs into Rhonda in the courtyard, who coos excitedly about the first date he's had in awhile and wishes him a fun time.
Alison cooks Billy a pasta dinner and apologizes for assuming that Nancy just wants to get in his pants. She muses that perhaps Nancy is just naturally a touchy-feely person...and Billy mulls over that possibility before telling her he can't stay for dinner 'cause he only stopped in to change into something more comfortable before heading back to the office to finish up his latest puff piece - a cat bat mitzvah? - with Nancy.
Michael races after Kimberly in the hospital parking lot - and she tells him she's so mortified after baring her true feelings that she just wants him to leave her alone so she can slink home in shame. He blocks her from entering her car, says he doesn't want to lose her friendship, then pulls her towards him and plants a hard smooch on her lips. A startled Kimberly purrs, "Don't start something you can't finish" and Michael's like, "Mmm hmm..."
Scott Daniels lights up a cigarette in the restaurant and tells Matt that his firm likes to represent companies who pollute, corrupt, and generally make people's lives miserable 'cause it's incredibly lucrative. He then tells Matt he was very surprised when he didn't move forward with his discrimination suit, not least 'cause it was such an airtight case - but Matt just shrugs and says he really just wanted to get his job at the halfway house back so he could continue to mentor innercity kids. Scott's like, "Whatever" and says he could make a ton more money giving therapy sessions to spoiled Beverly Hills kids.
Jane is all canoodly when Michael returns home from work and tells him she's cooking an elaborate roast chicken dinner. He tells her he's going to have to pass 'cause he already ate at the hospital and just wants to go to bed now...and she scrunches her face in disappointment and agreeably says they can always save the chicken for tomorrow night's dinner.
Nancy offers Billy a drink and creepily pats the space on the couch next to her. She tells him the latest research he did is very good, then starts rubbing her neck and complaining about it being all in knots. Subtle, Nancy. She asks Billy if he wouldn't mind giving her a neck massage, and he's like, "Uh, sure" and starts awkwardly rubbing her neck. She moans, "That feels soooooo gooooood", then suddenly turns around and plants a smooch on him. Billy's all, "Whoa!", pushes her lips away, and suggests they forget this happened...and she snaps, "Fine. Let's also forget about your promotion."
Rhonda asks Matt how his date went and if he and Scott hit the sheets, and Matt makes a blech face and tells her that Scott is definitely not his type. Rhonda urges him to give Scott another chance, and he reacts all prickly-like and says that just 'cause he's gay doesn't mean he's obligated to leap into bed and/or a relationship with the first fellow gay who shows an interest in him...then reminds her that she sat home alone on plenty of Saturday nights before finally hooking up with her Mr. Right.
Billy tells Alison about Nancy revoking his promotion after he rebuffed her advances, then grumpily says he probably should have just given into her. He muses, "She's not that bad looking...and I'm a guy. I like sex", to which Alison [refrains from giving his head a good shake and] suggests he seek legal assistance to call out Nancy on sexually harassing him so she can be pressured to give him his job back. Billy mulls that over, then decides it's best if he just handles the situation his own way.
As Michael is shaving, Jane gives him a from behind canoodle, coos, "I looooove you", and asks him if he wants to get together for lunch later. When Michael shiftily says he'll be too busy at the hospital, she suggests they have dinner together instead, and he mumbles something in the affirmative. As soon as Jane leaves the apartment, Michael gets on the phone with Kimberly and says he really needs to see her.
Billy confronts Nancy about last night's brazen act of sexual harassment in the workplace and shames her for using her power to diminish others, then calls her pitiful and storms out of her office. Nancy cries, "Billy, wait!" and sheepishly admits that she's deeply embarrassed by the way she behaved, then explains that during her climb up the corporate ladder she had to put up with a lot of abuse and come ons...and figured 'why not be just as big an asshole as those men were to me and turn the tables on my fact checker?' She says she now wants to make it right and offers him his staff writer job back without any "funny business" ... and Billy accepts before the two shake on it.
Michael arrives at Kimberly's apartment for lunch, and she motions at the dining table and the scrumptious salad she prepared for the two of them. Michael ignores the food and starts caressing her face, then moans about how he can't stop thinking about her before giving her an intense smooch. As the two go at it even more intensely, Michael mounts her atop the salad bowls that are sitting atop the dining table (the fuckety fuck he doing?!), instead of mounting her atop the couch, conveniently located just a few feet away.
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
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Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics