Recap: Billy wakes up in his new home - Casa Amanda - and struggles to find a comfortable piece of furniture in the living room to lounge upon while he reads the morning paper. He ends up sitting on the carpet and leaning against the kitchen island...and a few seconds later, Amanda breezes into the room, rips open the window blinds, and gushes about what a lovely day it is in this SoCal paradise. Billy gives her a good morning canoodle and thanks her for doing his laundry, and she purrs, "You're welcome" and tells him she really likes having another living thing in her apartment to take care of.
Keith is driving Alison to work and imploring her to consider moving with him to Seattle. She contemplates how unhappy she's been in L.A. lately, then decides 'why not impulsively take a leap of faith?' and tells Keith that, yep, she'll move to Seattle with him...and he grins happily and thanks her for her ability to make a life decision so quickly.
Amanda makes a snide remark to Alison about being late for work, and Alison's like, "Whatever...I'm quitting D&D and moving to Seattle with Keith." When Amanda's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and pretends to be disappointed by this development, Alison tells her to cut the shit and admit that she's secretly relieved at the news. Amanda decides to give up any pretense of liking Alison and comes right out and says, yep, she's definitely thrilled, and that her leaving town is the best news she's heard all week. LOL.
Michael gets a call from an old buddy named Sam, who's in L.A. for the weekend and wants to get together for dinner. Michael tells him he has to decline 'cause he's on call at the hospital all weekend...and Jane overhears that part of the conversation and says she'd be more than happy to fill in for the both of them and go to dinner with Sam.
Billy returns to Melrose Place for the last of his stuff and gets Jake to help him carry his favorite leather chair to his cab. By scripted coincidence, Alison arrives home at that exact moment and announces to Billy, Jo, and Jake that she's moving to Seattle with Keith. Billy and Jo contort their faces disapprovingly, while Jake just kind of shrugs and doesn't look like he could give a rat's ass what Alison does with her life.
Jane is out to dinner with Sam, getting caught up on his latest sexcapades. He confesses to always wanting to find a woman just like her, and she chuckles and admits that she once had a little crush on him - before marrying the awesomeness that is Michael, that is.
Keith tells Alison he booked them on a Seattle flight Monday morning, and she's all, "Ack!" and says she's getting increasingly wigged out by how quickly and drastically her life is about to change...then starts ranting at him about how she's not going to be the kind of woman who gives up having a career to sit home and wait on a man hand and foot. Keith's like, "Well duh" and tells her he fully expects her to get a job, not least 'cause his shitty salary isn't going to be anywhere near enough to support the both of them.
Amanda and Billy have Jake and Jo over for dinner...and Amanda visibly bores of the conversation centered around Alison's imminent Seattle move and changes the subject by asking Billy to get some more wine. While he's in the kitchen, Amanda complains to Jake and Jo about the fugly leather chair that Billy dared bring into her home...and when Billy overhears her, he offers to get rid of it. In the next scene, Jake is helping him carry the chair to the dumpster while warning him to resist losing himself to his sexy, but controllingly bitchy new girlfriend. He asks what Amanda is willing to give up for him, but Billy just shrugs and says he's not keeping score...to which Jake mutters, "Maybe you should." Heh.
Jane drops off Sam at his hotel...and as they bid each other goodnight he leans in, gives her a smooch, and says he's been wanting to do that for years. Jane stares back at him in mute horror before reminding him that Michael is his oldest and dearest friend...and he's like, "Oops" and says he figures it'd probably be best if he didn't invite her up to his hotel room for a nightcap. LOL.
The next morning, Jane is laying in bed, looking weirded out about the kiss, when Michael enters the bedroom to ask her how dinner with Sam went. She mumbles, "Fine" and tells him she's too tired about it right now.
As Michael heads off to work, he runs into Alison in the courtyard and informs her that the Melrose gang will be throwing her a farewell barbecue at the beach this weekend.
Over at Casa Amanda, Billy woots excitedly when he looks over the TV show listings for the evening and sees that the classic Gothic horror flick Nosferatu is airing at 9pm. Amanda puts the kibosh on that plan 'cause her father's in town and wants to come over for dinner...but Billy grumbles that he's always in L.A. and that, frankly, he can't stand hanging out with the man. Amanda reluctantly agrees to cancelling dinner with her father so that she and Billy can be free to watch Nosferatu together...and Billy's all, "Hurray!" and says he's off to drive over to Melrose Avenue to go on his morning jog and explains that he prefers to jog in his old 'hood.
Billy runs into Alison while she too is jogging, and tells her that things with Amanda are going fantastic. They discuss the airing of Nosferatu this evening and how they're going to force their significant others to watch it with them...and as Alison jogs off, Billy stares after her longingly.
Keith and Alison stroll along the beach and talk about their future life in Seattle. Keith says he's absolutely, completely, 100% sure it's the right thing to do, while Alison whines that she usually requires lots of time to contemplate such a major life decision and laments not being able to fall in love as quickly as he can. Keith urges her to not overthink the move to Seattle and let an opportunity like this slip away, and Alison mulls that over while staring dully into space.
Michael returns home from work and is pleasantly surprised when he sees that Jane has prepared a scrumptious, candle-lit dinner for no special reason. He asks again how dinner with Sam went, and she breezily says it was great and that they yukked it up like old times.
Billy prepares a ginormous bowl of popcorn for the airing of Nosferatu, a film Amanda has zero interest in watching and not derisively poking fun at. Over at Melrose Place, Keith shows a similar disinterest in watching the film with Alison and tries to get in some amorous canoodling - but she irritably shoves him away, while Amanda haughtily tells Billy she's had enough of the dumb Gothic horror and angrily stomps off to bed.
The next morning, Billy reclaims what's left of his balls and retrieves his leather chair from the dumpster, then brings it back inside Casa Amanda. He tells Amanda it was a mistake to throw it out, and Amanda makes an ew face as she chides him for making last night's movie watching into "a battle royale", and points out that they can't always share the same taste in everything. She coos, "I missed you last night" and decides that his fugly chair isn't so bad after all...and the two agree that the best part of having an argument [that she instigated and then largely kept going all evening] is the make-up sex afterwards.
Sam calls Michael to tell him he needs to talk to him asap, and will drop by the hospital for a one-on-one. Jane overhears the call and stares worriedly into space as Michael heads off to work.
At the hospital, Sam sheepishly tells Michael, "Sorry about kissing Jane the other night" ... and Michael scrunches his face confusedly and is all, "Wha-a-at are you talking about?" Sam's like, "Oops.." when it's clear that Jane failed to mention the kiss to Michael, who starts wigging out at the thought of his wife kissing/being kissed by another man. Sam asks him if they're still pals and holds out his hand...and the camera cuts away for a commercial, so we never know if Michael hit the pause button on his freakout and offered forgiveness to Sam.
Alison sneaks into D&D over the weekend to clean out her cubicle - but is sneaked upon by Lucy, who growls, "I took a chance on you!" and admonishes her for giving the company zero notice before slinking off into oblivion. She asks if Amanda was the one who drove her out and adds that she's infamous at D&D for her catty bitchitude - but Alison assures her that her abrupt resignation has nothing to do with Amanda and everything to do with trailing after Keith, who just landed a job in Seattle. Lucy shakes her head disapprovingly and says she never figured her for a quitter, then asks why she doesn't just let Keith go to Seattle on his own. Alison mumbles, "It's very complicated", to which Lucy shakes her head in disgust and then, for some reason, graciously offers to give her a job recommendation.
Michael returns home from work and bitchily confronts Jane about her secret kiss with Sam...and Jane sheepishly insists that the kiss was no big deal, and that she didn't tell him 'cause she knew he'd react like the pissy little boy-child he's acting like right now. Rhonda chooses that moment to burst in and ask if she can hitch a ride with them to Alison's farewell barbecue beach party...and when she realizes they're acting hostile towards each other, she's all, "Awkward."
At the beach party, Jane is barbecuing burgers with Michael, telling him to stop sulking about Sam kissing her and grow the hell up. Amanda, meanwhile, rudely mocks the beach party to Alison's face as "quite the sendoff", and Alison retorts that it's called having friends - not something she (Amanda) appears to have any of, then adds that it's not terribly surprising, considering the bitchy reputation she's earned for herself among the D&D dregs. Amanda accuses Alison of being jealous of her, her job, and the fact that she's dating Billy - bwahahaha! - then barks at Billy to take her home now 'cause she's not feeling well. Billy stares dumbly into space for a few seconds before mumbling, "I guess I'm outta here" and gives Alison a goodbye hug. Alison warns him that Amanda is not the right woman for him..and Amanda proves her point by yelling at Billy to get his ass into gear and dutifully follow her.
Jane apologizes again for the Sam kiss...but when Michael responds with more sullen pouting, Jane rolls her eyes and says it's irksome that their entire marriage seems to be built around the principle of keeping him happy. Michael stares at her quizzically and actually asks, "What's wrong with that?"
Michael arrives at the hospital and finds Kimberly snoozing in the staff lounge after being on call all night. He sits on the far edge of the sofa and tells her he feels like he's losing it, then remarks that she's sooooo much easier to talk to than the floozy he has at home. Kimberly says that home should be a place where he's appreciated, then offers to buy him breakfast in the hospital cafeteria...and he responds by smittenly smiling back at her. Mmm hmm..
Amanda bitches at Billy for leaving his wet towels strewn about the bathroom floor...then goes on a strange rant about how Alison probably didn't have a problem with it when they were roommates - but that she's glad she's not a ditzy yokel from the Midwest who's so scared of living in L.A. after being carjacked that she's fleeing to Seattle with a guy she barely knows. Billy scrunches his face angrily and says she's wrong about Alison, who he finds to be deep, sensitive, and undeserving of being judged by her "screwed up rules". He finally decides 'fuck this toxic relationship' and says he's suddenly willing to go past the point of no return by declaring that it's painfully obvious they moved in together waaaaay too quickly...and that despite her extreme blonde hotness, he simply can't stand being around her anymore. Amanda shoots him a hate-filled stink-eye, tells him to be gone by the time she returns home from work, and storms out of the apartment.
Billy and his leather chair make their triumphant return to Melrose Place, where Alison and Keith are anxiously waiting for their tardy airport van. He offers to ferry them to the airport, then tells Alison he ended his ill-fated hookup with Amanda.
When the three arrive at Valley Airport, Keith thanks Billy for the ride and boards the plane, while Alison hangs back for a second, drawn out goodbye. Billy implores her to not get on the plane, leave the best people she's ever known, and live a miserable life in Seattle - but Alison insists that she has to go and heads toward the plane. Billy yells, "Pleeeeeeeease!" - and when Alison doesn't respond, he stares sadly into space before dejectedly wandering off.
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5/15/2020 09:35:30 am
This is a bit ironic because "Sam"....
10/13/2020 08:26:18 am
And he also "comes back" as Harry Wilson in 90210 (the 2008 sequel!)!
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
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Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics