Melrose Place - Season 1, Episode 22

Jake indulges his toe-sucking fetish

"Three's a Crowd"
Original airdate: 2/3/1993

Episode summary: Billy and Amanda become smitten with one another during a weekend getaway. Jo and Jake hit the sheets for the first time and have mind-blowing sex. Rhonda gets re-involved with Terrence.

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Recap: Over drinks at Shooters, Amanda invites Alison to join her at her parents' lake house for the weekend. When Alison says she has plans to go skiing with Billy, Amanda suggests she bring Billy along to the lake so they can make it an awkward threesome. She tells Alison she has bi-coastal boyfriend, but then perks up when Alison clarifies that she and Billy are nothing more than platonic roommates.

Jake drops by Jo's apartment with a single rose and tells her it's a preview of the romance he'll be bringing to tomorrow night's date: a fancy dinner, then back to her apartment for a super sexy romp.

Billy gets miffed when Alison is late meeting up with him, and she explains that she had a work thing with Amanda and "just spaced". I notice she likes to use the excuse of "spacing" whenever she demonstrates a total lack of consideration to others. She tells him she's going to have to bail on their ski trip in favor of spending the weekend at Amanda's parents' lake house, and says he's more than welcome to tag along.

Rhonda is packing up her wedding gown and gabbling at Matt. She tells him that Terrence recently came to one of her cardio-funk workout sessions and slipped her a letter that states how desperately he wants them to get back together. When Matt remarks that it's clear he's in a lot of pain, Rhonda shrugs and says she still can't get herself interested in getting married and doesn't want to do anything to lead Terrence on. Snore.

Amanda, Alison, and Billy arrive at the lake house, admire the lovely view of the lake, and sort out their sleeping arrangements: Amanda and Alison will bunk up together, while Billy gets relegated to the pullout couch in the library. Billy excitedly says he has a list of fun things he wants them to do today:

• Go water-skiing
• Play volleyball
• Enjoy a nature walk
  

Alison says the first thing sounds like an excuse to check them out in their wetsuits...but then she and Amanda decide they're A-OK with that and rush off to get changed.

Amanda and Billy operate the boat and engage in some getting-to-know-each-other chit-chat while Alison water-skis behind them. When she wipes out, an oblivious Billy and Amanda continue chatting and driving the boat...and only notice that she's no longer upright on her water-skis when she angrily flaps in the water and shrieks at them to stop.

Later, Alison is sacked out on the couch in the lake house, sneezing from being in the cold water for so long. She says she's not feeling well enough to go out to dinner and urges Amanda and Billy to dine without her - but Amanda suggests they get takeout and have dinner in. Billy grins stupidly and says, "The three musketeers, remember?" then shoots Amanda a flirty look, which she reciprocates [despite being about ten leagues above a vapid, go nowhere bonehead like Billy].

"Wanna hook up?"

"Why not? I don't mind slumming it with a bonehead like you for a few episodes."

Amanda and Billy share their hopes and dreams while strolling to the nearby Chinese takeout place. He natters about his dream of becoming a writer then asks about her bi-coastal boyfriend, and she hastily shuts that down and says she'd rather not talk about her fictional significant other.

At Shooters, Terrence moans to Matt about how badly he wants to be with Rhonda and would give anything to be showering her with gifts right now. When he asks Matt how he could best win her back, Matt frowns disapprovingly and primly chides him for stepping over the line by talking to him about Rhonda behind her back.

Jake and Jo are out to dinner, amorously canoodling at the table. When the waiter who brings their food is openly appalled by their PDA, Jo giggles about how obnoxiously they're misbehaving in public and coos, "I want you now. Right here." Jake suggests going back to her place pronto, then tosses some bills onto the table to pay for their uneaten food before making a horny beeline for the exit.

Back at the lake house, Billy lights up the fireplace while Amanda pours three glasses of cognac. With no TV to entertain the three, Amanda suggests they revert to being fourteen year olds at a sleepover and play truth or dare. When she challenges Alison to reveal her biggest lie, Alison tells her about the time she lied to Lucy about not being able to work late 'cause she was sick, then spent the evening doinking Keith. Billy's like, "Uh, speaking of Keith" and confesses that his biggest lie was not passing along a message to her that Keith called soon after she dumped him...and when Alison's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", he says he only did it to protect her from further heartbreak. Amanda's "biggest lie" is that she doesn't actually have a bi-coastal boyfriend and admits using "him" as a crutch in order to avoid the hassle of getting romantically involved.

Jake and Jo return to her apartment and purr at each other about their mutual desire to get it on. Jo admits she's nervous and worries that the doinkfest is going to be anti-climactic - but Jake assures her he'll do everything in his power to ensure it's multi-orgasmic. The two stare at each other longingly, then disrobe as they inch toward her bedroom.

"I'm worried that the sex will be anti-climactic."

"Then I'll have to ensure that it's as multi-climactic as possible."

Alison announces that she's off to bed, and Amanda says she'll get Billy settled on the pullout couch and see her shortly. Once Alison is safely out of earshot, Billy leans in and kisses Amanda...and she kisses him back before calling it a night and heading off to bed.

Jo brings Jake breakfast in bed, aka strawberries and whipped cream, and gushes about how mind-blowing last night's sex was. Jake concurs and spreads whipped cream on her toes before licking them off (gross) and Jo giggles about how much his tongue action tickles.

Billy fries up some eggs while pretending to be a French chef. Amanda produces a bottle of champagne to add to the orange juice, and it implausibly explodes as she opens it. The two get soaked while wrestling over the overflowing bottle - which seems like a shameful waste of perfectly good alcohol - just as Alison enters the kitchen looking less than thrilled by the giggly horseplay. She announces that she wants to head back to Los Angeles asap so she can tend to her cold, and Billy and Amanda look bummed that their flirty weekend just got unexpectedly cut short.  

Matt reports to Rhonda that he spoke with Terrence, feels a newfound sympathy for his predicament, and urges her to give the poor sap a second chance. Rhonda scrunches her face in irritation and gives Matt the what for for interfering in her boring-as-fuck relationship.

Alison tells Billy she's irked at him for hitting on her direct superior at D&D. She tells him she'd prefer it if her work life were kept totally separate from her home life, and worries that a failed romance with Amanda could blow back on her. Billy shrugs and says he has chemistry with Amanda [no you don't] and didn't think she (Alison) would have a problem with it...and Alison snappishly says she most certainly does have a problem with it and makes it clear that she would rather he didn't date Amanda.

In their cubicles at D&D, Amanda tells Alison she wants to be candid and transparent about her budding romance with Billy and says she finds him to be smart, awesome, and funny. When she asks Alison why she didn't hook up with Billy, Alison chortles a little too hard and says that the mere thought of anything other than a platonic friendship with the bonehead is utterly laughable, then adds that he routinely falls in love with women who dump him like yesterday's news. Amanda says she finds that surprising, then suggests they continue working on their current D&D assignment over dinner at her (Alison's) apartment 'cause of the high probability she'll run into Billy there. 

"Is there a reason you and Billy never hooked up?"

"Bwahaha! His vapid boneheadedness, for one."

Later, Alison and Amanda are in Alison's apartment, working on the D&D campaign and munching on pizza. Billy arrives home and unnecessarily interjects himself into the campaign discussion, and Alison gets so irked by the intrusion that she huffs out of the room under the pretense of retrieving a file. Billy quietly invites Amanda to grab a coffee after she and Alison are finished with their work...and when she accepts, Billy says they should probably not broadcast their plans to Alison.

Rhonda meets Terrence at Shooters dressed in a belly-baring crop top and chides him for oversharing to Matt about the state of their relationship. Terrence apologizes for being so pushy and annoying, but says he's only doing it 'cause he really really wants to share his life with her. Rhonda says she's not 100% sure she wants marriage right now, but is willing to put their relationship/non-relationship on pause until she sorts out her feelings. He happily tells her he's A-OK with that. Fantastic.

Amanda arrives at the cafe for her secret late night coffee date with Billy, and he gushes about how thrilled he is to be sitting here with someone so unbelievably hot. He tells her he feels a little bad about upsetting Alison, who's been adamant about keeping her work/home life separate - but Amanda says she doesn't give much of a rat's ass 'bout that and reminds Billy that they're all adults and that she doesn't want to have to keep their budding romance a secret. She leans in for a kiss, and the two enjoy a lingering smooch.

Jake drops by Jo's apartment to ask her if she slept OK last night and to tell her he was too tired to hook up again so soon after their maiden doinkfest. He adds that he dreamed about her last night...and she blushes, invites him in, and asks him to describe his dream. In lieu of answering, he ushers her to her bedroom for a live demonstration.

Amanda tells Alison she's impressed with all the hard work she's been putting into the latest D&D campaign, then declares that she and Billy are officially an item...something they established during last night's covert coffee date. She adds that she's well aware of her aversion to them dating and hopes this won't affect their working relationship...and Alison says it's fine with her, but then stares despondently into space.

"I've decided to slum it in Boneheadsville and leap into an ill-fated romance with Billy."

"I'm thrilled for both of you."

Alison tells Billy she's sooooo humiliated that he and Amanda had a secret coffee date last night and that he blabbed to Amanda about her irritation with the two of them dating. Billy accuses her of being jealous of his new hookup 'cause she no longer has Keith in her life, and she's like, "Speaking of Keith.." and says she's very pissed off at him that he never told her Keith called while they were going through their breakup phase.

Amanda invites Billy over to her place and tells him he's welcome to come over any time. She pours him a glass of wine and tells him she told Alison about them dating and that she seemed totes fine with it. She then says she'd rather not talk about Alison anymore and presses against him for an intense smooch.

Alison is moping in her apartment alone, gobbling ice cream and staring at a photo of Keith. She picks up the phone and dials his number...and when she gets his answering machine, she quickly hangs up and mutters, "Damn.."

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