Recap: Jo and Jake are lolling on the beach while Jo photographs seagulls and gushes about the incredibly gorgeous sunrise. As the two share a giggly romp on a beach blanket, Jake finds a poetry book Jo's been reading, and she tells him she looooves poetry and urges him to also get interested in it. A few seconds later, they decide it's time to head home...and Jo mocks Jake's girly motorcycle before they both hop on and speed away.
Jane and Michael are in bed canoodling when Jane gets a call from her sister, Sydney, who informs her that she's at LAX and could use a lift to Melrose Place. Jane's all, "Wha-at's going onnnnn?", tells her she should have called first, then informs Michael that they're hosting Sydney for the weekend (and well beyond).
Rhonda puts an abrupt end to her canoodling with Terrence 'cause she has a cardio-funk class to preside over, and Terrence rolls his eyes derisively and says she's a dancer and therefore shouldn't have to lower herself to be an aerobics instructor...then reminds her about their plans tomorrow night to attend a dinner party with his snooty Newport Beach friends. Rhonda grumbles about not having anything suitable to wear to be in the company of rich snoots, and he not-so-subtly hints that he'd be more than happy to buy her an expensive dress for the occasion.
While en route from LAX, Sydney puffs on a cigarette and tells Jane she just had to get away from school, and adds that she didn't bother telling her parents about her abrupt departure, but then charged the plane ticket to L.A. on her father's credit card. I'm sure he'll appreciate that when he gets the bill. She says she can't wait to see the sights, and Jane tells her she's too busy with work to play tour guide - but since Michael has some time off from the hospital, she'll volunteer him to ferry her around Los Angeles.
Michael takes Sydney (who's puffing on another cigarette) to an outdoor restaurant. She gushes about how cooooool he is to do this for her, and hopes that her unannounced visit to L.A. will bring them all closer as a family. Heh. When he asks her how school is going, she makes an ew face and says, "School isn't my thing", then laments not being perfect like him and Jane. Michael argues that he and Jane are far from perfect, and that Jane can be insecure, especially when it comes to dealing with her demanding new fashion designer boss. Sydney insists that Jane always comes out on top, then continues to puff away on her cigarette in the funny way that people who were never smokers look like when they pretend puff on a cigarette to showcase their edginess.
Over at D&D, Lucy presents Alison with an invitation to the annual Advertising Association Ball for her and a plus one. Alison tells her she's thrilled to be invited, then looks wistful that she's no longer hitting the sheets with Keith and has no idea who she could ask to be her date. Lucy suggests she take someone from the office, and Alison mulls that over and says she's always found Danny Baker in Accounting to be somewhat cute.
Alison heads over to Danny Baker's office and shyly asks him if he'd be interested in going to the advertising ball with her, and he says that while he's flattered by the sweet offer, he already has a date lined up. He breezily adds, "Thanks anyway, Eleanor." Bwahahahaha!
That evening, Jane thanks Michael for entertaining her sister while she was at work, and Michael says they got along pretty well - but would like to have a firm departure date so that there's an end in sight to Sydney's visit. Jane reasons that since Sydney has to return to her classes in the near future, the stay shouldn't last longer than a few more days.
Jane helps Sydney prepare the pull-out couch in the living room, and Sydney waxes on about how Michael was sooooooo coooooool to show her around L.A. today. She then breaks the news that she dropped out of college 'cause of the shitty grades she was getting and that she found it too hard to make friends. She says she can't yet face their parents and was hoping she could squat in hers/Michael's Melrose Place apartment until she gets her "act together" ... and Jane makes a subtle 'nooooooo fuuuuuuuck' expression, but then tells her she's welcome to stay as long as she likes.
Alison tells Billy what a complete ass she made of herself when she asked out Danny Baker, and Billy can't help but chuckle and agree that it's pretty damn funny he didn't even know her name. He offers to set her up with his buddy who just broke up with his girlfriend and suggests the three of them get together for drinks at Shooters tomorrow night...and Alison just shrugs, but is like 'sure, why the hell not?'
Jo removes her name from her mailbox after getting a letter from the husband she so callously abandoned in New York. She shows it to Jake and says she can't figure out how in blazes he got her address...so he takes it from her, writes addressee unknown on the envelop, then drops it into the outgoing mailbox. He then invites her to stop by his motorcycle shop at noon 'cause he'll have a fun surprise for her.
Jane tells Michael that the status of Sydney's impromptu stay has been changed to indefinitely, and Michael looks visibly irked and reminds her that spending any length of time with Sydney always makes her do things she regrets. A few seconds later, Sydney breezes into the kitchen and gabbles about how much she'd looooove to see what a day in the life of a fashion designer at Kay Beacon's studio is like, and Jane's like 'nooooooo fuuuuuuuck' before reluctantly inviting her to briefly drop by.
At the motorcycle shop, Jake shows Jo the new, more manly bike he just restored for himself...then unveils the surprise: his previous girly bike, which he's now gifting to her. She stares at him incredulously and says she couldn't possibly accept it, but kisses his cheek and thanks him for the kind gesture.
At the design studio, Sydney is perched beside Jane when Kay Beacon comes over to talk to Jane about something work-related and ask whassup with the redhead sitting next to her. Jane introduces Sydney, who gushes to Kay about how super cool she finds fashion design and that she's soooo into the latest trends and keeps up with all the fashion mags. Kay looks over her outfit and says she definitely has a good eye...and when Sydney asks if it's OK to continue to hang around and maybe do some odd jobs around the studio, Kay mulls that over for a few seconds and sends her out to buy the paper and newest issues of whatever fashion magazines are on the newsstands.
That evening, Sydney gushes to Jane and Michael about how awesome Kay Beacon is...and how jealous she is of Jane for having the perfect boss. A few seconds later, Mama Andrews calls the apartment to ask Jane if she has any clue where Sydney is...and when Sydney desperately mouths 'I'm not here', Jane fibs and tells her mom she has absolutely no idea. She hangs up the phone looking sheepish, then glances over at Michael, who shakes his head disapprovingly.
Rhonda shows Matt the fancy dress Terrence bought for her to wear at the Newport Beach dinner party, then complains about how he's been showering her with so much expensive stuff that she's starting to feel stifled. Matt reminds her that until now she's dated very low caliber men, and that the two of them have spent many a Saturday night huddled in their shitty Melrose Place apartments, weeping from loneliness. She acknowledges that this is true, but insists that she finds her newest relationship oppressive and terrifying, which Matt somehow translates to mean I'm deeply in love.
Sydney thanks Jane for covering for her with their mother, then despondently says that one day their parents will be proud of her. Jane assures her they already are [I highly doubt that], then crawls onto the pullout with her and gigglingly reminisces about their childhood. Sydney says she's soooooo happy to be in L.A., and that she needs what Jane has: a job she's good at, a husband, a general direction in life. She then proudly announces that she too has found a general direction in life...and when she reveals it's fashion design, Jane stares at her incredulously and asks, "After one day?" She warns Sydney about rushing into an implausible-for-her career path too quickly and urges her to finish school - but Sydney firmly says that that's not an option, and that she's at Melrose Place to stay.
The next morning, Sydney arrives at the design studio with a box of donuts, and Jane looks irked and tells Sydney to run along 'cause she doesn't want to give anyone the impression that she has a job here. Sydney ignores her snarkitude and says she doesn't mind being Kay's errand girl and that she genuinely enjoys making daily donut deliveries.
Jo excitedly tells Jake she developed the seagull photos from the beach, but he pissily says he's not interested in anything she wants to show him. She explains that she has a really hard time accepting extravagant gifts without feeling as though she needs to give something in return, so he tells her they don't have to keep score and figured that her having a motorcycle to scoot around town on would be easier and more convenient than cabbing it everywhere.
Alison and Billy arrive at Shooters to have drinks with Tom, Billy's newly single friend. Alison perks up when Tom ends up being deliciously handsome and sweet...and when the two grin stupidly at each other and act like smitten-like, Billy twitches in discomfort at the idea of them hooking up. Tom suggests they extend drinks into dinner, and amiably chitchats with Alison about his law career.
On Friday evening, Sydney stops by the design studio to tell Jane that everyone's headed over to a nearby club to party and urges her to just ditch whatever she's doing and come with them - but Jane declines and tells her she's finishing up something for Kay, and to go on without her.
As Alison and Tom continue to enjoy their flirty banter, Billy interrupts Alison just as she broaches the subject of the upcoming ball, and hustles her out of Shooters before she gets a chance to invite Tom as her plus one. When a bewildered Alison asks why he bothered setting her up in the first place, he says he suddenly realized he doesn't want her dating any of his friends.
Terrence and Rhonda are at the fancy Newport Beach party, chatting with the self-important snooties about classical composers and the dreadful cultural famine that's been spreading across the USA. When someone asks Rhonda what she does for a living, Terrence interjects and says she's a dancer who's currently between companies - but Rhonda shoots him the stink-eye and sassily clarifies that she's an aerobicizer who teaches cardio-funk to gym rats.
Later, Rhonda chides Terrence for trying to lie to his friends about her, accuses him of presenting her as "not the real me", and for making her feel as though teaching cardio-funk should be a source of embarrassment. Terrence retorts that he well knows who the real Rhonda is, but she refuses to engage in the argument further and kicks him out of her apartment. Gaaaa...even their fights are snorefests.
Jane scolds Sydney for getting in so late after clubbing with Kay et. al., and tells her she was getting very worried. Sydney tells her talked her up to Kay while they were partying and gives her a smug, 'you're welcome' look, but Jane tells her that that wasn't necessary, and implores her to figure out where her aimless life as a college dropout is heading.
Jake drops by Jo's apartment to recite some poetry from the book she's been reading, and she looks touched and tells him how much she looooooves the girly motorcycle he tried to give her. A few seconds later, she gets a phone call and barks, "Don't ever call me here again!" and tells a confused Jake that that was her husband she was talking to.
Billy tells Alison he wants to make up for ruining her blind date with Tom by being her plus one for the Advertising Association ball, and promises to rent a fancy tux and hopefully rein in his disheveled '90s hair.
Michael and Jane bicker about how soon she'll be willing to throw Sydney out, and Jane assures him she probably won't be sponging off of them for much longer. She heads over to the kitchen and brightly asks Sydney what her plans for the day are...and when Sydney glumly mumbles, "Figuring out how to help myself", Jane goes, "Great!" and heads off to work.
Jane is all, "Wha-a-a-a??" when Sydney makes her regular donut delivery to the design studio...and is even more stunned when Sydney smugly informs her that Kay hired her as her personal assistant. As Jane mulls over the future uncomfortableness of that arrangement, Kay's like, "You don't mind, do you?" and Jane does her best to breezily assure her boss that she's totes fine with it.
Rhonda's hanging with Matt when the two hear romantic music playing in the Melrose Place courtyard...and when Rhonda peeks outside to investigate, she sees that it's a singing trio with Terrence staring in the direction of her apartment, motioning for her to come outside. He waxes on about how much he looooooves her, finds her soooooo beautiful, then gets down on one knee and proposes. When she argues that all this is happening so fast, he says he doesn't need any more time to know that she's the right woman for him. She mulls that over for a few seconds and happily cries, "Yesssss!"
Jane tells Michael she really hates that Sydney is suddenly invading all aspects of her life, aka her home and job, then goes, "What's next? You?" Bwahahahaha! (Uh, yes, as a matter of fact.) Michael sniffs the air and says it smells like Sydney is smoking in the living room, so Jane rushes to the other room to remind her sister that they have a no smoking policy. Sydney puts out her cigarette and says she'll quit being Kay's donut delivery girl if it'd make her feel better, but Jane half-heartedly says it's fine, then lumbers off to bed.
The next morning, Jake sees a man examining the names on the Melrose Place mailboxes and asks if he can help him. The man says he's looking for Beth Reynolds and heard that she was living in this shitty complex, so Jake scrunches his face in faux contemplation and says he's never heard of her, and that no one has moved in or out of these apartments for years. The man thanks him and saunters off, and Jake stares after him worriedly.
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
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Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics