Recap: Alison and Keith enjoy some giggly 'good morning' canoodling in his beach house before she climbs off of the bed and announces that she needs to get dressed and head off to work. She tells him that after work she'd like to stop by her apartment and check in with her Melrose Place cast mates, then suggests they both spend the evening hanging at Shooters so he can meet everyone. He perks up at the idea and says it sounds kewl.
Billy scrunches his face confusedly when Alison slowly explains that she's no longer mad at Keith for being a lying adulterer and is therefore continuing on with the ill-fated romance. He shoots her a look of incredulity and grumbles, "Love is blind and stupid", but Alison insists she's very happy with her new married boyfriend.
A nerdy looking Shooters customer tells Sandy he's a casting director for the soap Forever and Tomorrow and that he likes the cut of her jib so much he's concluded that she'd be a great addition to the soap's full time cast. When he asks for her name and number, she glares at him skeptically and snaps, "Nice try!" before stomping off.
Alison, meanwhile, breaks it to the Melrose Place gals that Keith is married...then quickly explains that the marriage is dead. As Jane and Rhonda exchange bewildered, the fuck? glances, Keith arrives at Shooters and gets introduced to Rhonda and [re-introduced to] Jane. When they respond with judgmental stink-eyes, Alison suggests to Keith that they find a friendlier atmosphere...and as they head out, Jane shakes her head in dismay and tells Rhonda she's sure that Keith is going to break Alison's heart. Rhonda concurs and grunts, "Bastard."
Matt and a guy pal exit a restaurant, hug each other goodbye, and go their separate ways. A gang of homophobic street thugs sitting nearby gets so incensed by the man-on-man hug that they yell, "Queer!" at Matt, then chase him, and punch and kick him until he looks seriously injured.
In bed, Jane tells Michael she can't belieeeeeve Alison is having an affair with a married man, to which Michael mumbles, "It happens all the time." When Jane's all, "Wuh?" and demands an explanation for his [prophetically] laissez faire attitude about spouse cheating, he tells her studies have shown that two-thirds of all married men cheat, and that "it's only human". When Jane tries to dispute that, he asks her if she's ever been attracted to another man during the course of their marriage...and she mulls that over and admits that, yep, she definitely has. Michael's like, "See?" ... but then a few seconds later glances suspiciously in her direction.
Keith assures Alison that her overly judgey friends will like him once they get to know him, and she's like, "Yeah, I guess", then says she should probably head home and work on the pile of D&D research papers she left at her apartment. He says he's totes fine with her spending the night at her place for a change and kisses her goodnight...but their kissing becomes so electric that Alison decides to forgo doing anything work-related to spend yet another night riding Keith's baloney pony.
Jake finds a bruised and battered Matt doubled over in pain while limping around the courtyard. He's all, "Wha-a-at happened, buddy?" and insists on taking him to the ER.
At the hospital, Matt gives two police detectives a statement about the homophobic street thugs who attacked him, and the cops are like, "Thanks for the info, but don't get your hopes up that we'll ever catch the guys." Jake gets upset at their lack of enthusiasm and tells Matt it looks like they're going to have to handle the retribution part of this subplot on their own, but Matt points out that committing violence isn't actually going to solve anything.
Billy drops by D&D to deliver the research papers Alison left at the apartment - but doesn't bring the entire pile, so she begs him to return home and fetch the rest. He pissily tells her he's too busy with his cab driving, then snarks, "Let Keith fetch it." A few seconds later, Lucy rushes over to the reception desk and tells Alison she desperately needs the Maximum Advantage synopses right now 'cause the clients are on their way, and Alison has to sheepishly admit that she left them at home. Lucy angrily snaps, "Oh great, terrific" and summons Alison to her office so she can ream her out in relative privacy.
Alison tells Lucy she "completely spaced" when she decided 'to hell with my D&D career, I'd rather spend the evening doinking Keith for the umpteenth time this week' and acknowledges that she must sound like a UGE flake right now. Lucy snaps, "Yes, you do!" and irritably adds that she'll somehow wing it through her meeting with the Maximum Advantage clients. Alison assures her that the general incompetence she's been displaying for the last two episodes won't happen again, and Lucy bitchily says if it does, she can find a receptionist job elsewhere...which I wouldn't think would be too much of a hardship in a city like L.A. She then sighs in frustration and says, "He must be some helluva guy" and Alison says he is, but then adds, "Well, maybe, sorta. I dunno...it's complicated" and Lucy correctly guesses that complicated translates to he's married.
Matt is leading a group counselling session with several angry teens and is probingly counselling one particularly sullen kid, Amado, until he has an emotional breakthrough in the form of throwing his chair across the room and hugging Matt while he weeps about how much he hates everyone.
Sandy tells Rhonda she got a call from the casting director of Forever and Tomorrow, and that the nerdy Shooters customer she assumed was coming onto her was actually being truthful about who he is. He's flying her to New York tomorrow to read for the role of a sexy young neurosurgeon. LOL. She says she's trying not to get her hopes up - but then shrieks excitedly at the thought of being so unceremoniously dumped halfway through the first season of Melrose Place for such an implausible explanation.
A police detective from L.A.'s Hate Crimes division shows up at the halfway house to get a statement from Matt, who confirms that the motive of the street thugs' attack was an intense hatred of gay guys such as himself. Matt's boss glares disapprovingly at the mention of gay, then barks at Matt to clean up the mess Amado made earlier.
Alison arrives home after work and apologizes to Billy for burdening him when she asked him to ferry over her research papers to D&D, and he apologizes for his bitchiness in refusing to fetch the rest of the documents. He then suggests they unwind by watching a movie, but she declines and tells him she merely popped by to get a change of clothes before heading back over to Keith's place. Billy gets all pissy and calls Keith a jerk for cheating on his wife - and Alison retorts that the wife doesn't love Keith, then snappishly tells Billy to mind his own business. On her way out, she runs into Rhonda, who's wishing Sandy good luck auditioning for the soap...and Sandy hops into a cab and is never ever seen or heard from on Melrose Place ever again. Bye Sandy!
While preparing dinner, Alison complains to Keith that her Melrose pals disapprove of their relationship, then asks him exactly how dead his dead marriage is. Keith gets all defensive and accuses her of parroting her disapproving friends, then chides her for not trusting him - just as his wife calls and insists on talking to him right now. Keith's like, "Hey, no problem, honey" - LOL - and takes the phone into another room...and an appalled Alison grabs her overnight bag and beats a hasty retreat.
The next morning, Alison tells Billy she knows that the most sensible next step in this relationship drama would be to dump Keith, then says that ever since she met the shady adulterer, her emotions have been so out of whack that she believes her life would be a misery without Keith in it.
Rhonda runs into the courtyard and squeals, "Sandy got the part!", then explains to her bemused neighbors that Sandy was given a one year contract to star in Forever and Tomorrow.
Billy takes it upon himself to drive over to Keith's beach house, demand to know what his intentions regarding Alison are, and accuse him of not caring enough about Alison to free her from carrying on an affair with a married guy. Keith just stares blankly at him and is all, "You're just jealous, dude."
Matt's boss summons him to his office to admonish him for egging Amado on to throw a chair across the room, and to inform him that since he doesn't represent the [non-gay] family values the halfway house has dedicated itself to, he has no choice but to fire him without cause...or with more than a minute's notice. Matt's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and stares back at him in shocked bewilderment.
Keith stops by D&D to invite Alison to lunch - but she starts wailing about how "far out on a limb" she is, and that she really wants to focus her job for the foreseeable future. Keith's all, "But I looooove you" and says he can't get her out of his head...and she implores him to leave so she doesn't burst into tears and risk pissing off an already pissed off Lucy yet again. Lucy happens to walk by at that moment to retrieve her phone messages and shoot Keith the stink-eye, and Keith quietly agrees to back off and give Alison some space.
Matt is glumly sitting by the pool when Rhonda bounds over to see whassup. He gabbles about how much he loved going to the halfway house every morning and working with disadvantaged street kids, then breaks the news that he just got fired when he unwittingly outed himself to his gay-unfriendly boss.
When Jake gets wind of Matt's firing, he snarks, "Do something about it" and urges Matt to either demand his job back or "sue the jerk". When Matt says he can't prove wrongful dismissal (yes you can, dimwit), Jake shrugs and says it's up to him to stand up for himself.
Over lunch in a fancy restaurant, Alison admits to being a lousy protege, to which Lucy snarks, "Yes you are" (bwahaha!), but concedes that she's at least a mediocre level functioning receptionist who shouldn't ruin her life for a guy. She says that nothing good can come of dating a married man, then shares her past experience dating a married dickwad named Dan, who never followed through with his promise to leave his wife, Karen. Lucy laments wasting five years of her life waiting out Dan's and Karen's marriage, and implores Alison to not make the same mistake she did.
Alison tells Billy she's definitely, absolutely, for sure breaking up with Keith, and that she hates herself for knowingly and repeatedly sleeping with another woman's husband. Billy applauds her decision and says it takes a lot of guts...then tells her how he stormed over to Keith's beach house earlier to give him the what-for. Alison giggles at the revelation and marvels, "You really care about me, don't you?" and Billy blushingly admits he does, then wishes her good luck while giving Keith the heave-ho.
When Alison arrives at the beach house, Keith takes her by the hand, leads her onto the deck, and pours two glasses of wine. He announces that he's finally decided to leave his wife 'cause he can't imagine a life with her (Alison). He gushes about how she's the only woman he's ever loved or could ever love...and Alison just stares back at him, mutely transfixed.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
10/1/2020 09:26:14 pm
I really liked Sandy! It’s too bas this was her last ep.
Leave a Reply.
MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
Your contributions help keep the site ad-free
Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics