Dynasty - Season 9, Episode 22

Dex and Alexis are about to fall to their cinematic deaths...or are they?

"Cache 22"
Original airdate: 5/11/1989

Episode summary: Kristina leads Fallon into an abandoned mineshaft, which is the secret hiding spot of the looted Nazi treasure. Tanner takes a leave of absence from the priesthood because of his feelings for Sammy Jo. Sable agrees to drop her lawsuit against ColbyCo.

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Recap: That evening at the mansion, Blake and Alexis jointly tuck Fallon into bed as if she's a young child. Fallon murmurs that she can't believe she killed a man and then completely forgot about it, and Alexis points out that she saved her life via the killing [a somewhat debatable claim]. Blake agrees and coos, "You're still our little girl" before the two bid her goodnight and tiptoe out of the room. 

Downstairs, Sable tells Dex she really really wants to leave so she doesn't have to interact with Alexis...and Dex reminds her that, at some point, they're going to need to fully discuss the fact that she's pregnant with his child.

Blake tells Alexis he doesn't want to keep stoking an endless war between them, and she agrees and leans in for a consensual hug. The two then make their way downstairs to inform Jeff and Zorelli that Fallon is OK and is getting some much needed rest. Jeff and Dex offer to give Zorelli a ride over to the cottage, where his car is parked...and Zorelli looks suspicious by a possible underlying motive, but agrees. 

Over in the library, Alexis marvels to Blake how utterly implausible - I mean extraordinary - it is that she completely blocked out the circumstances surrounding Roger Grimes's death, and then had the nerve to repeatedly accuse Blake of shooting him in the head. Blake tells her that Tom Carrington had confided in Charles Matthews about how he was somehow alerted to Roger's shooting, rushed over to the cottage and hastily got rid of Roger's body. Blake then tells Alexis that Tom "took care of you" ... meaning he was somehow able to convince her (a grown ass woman) and five year old Fallon that the shooting was nothing more than a bad dream. Blake caps off the nonsensical tale by pouring them both some Port and toasting, "To better times." Alexis tells him she'd happily help out with the new murder investigation, then invokes everything they have in common, including "the collection". When Blake contorts his face into a stunned expression, she explains that she knows all about it, mostly 'cause Roger had gifted her a painting she recently learned was looted Nazi treasure. 

Dex and Jeff accompany Zorelli to the cottage and ask for his expertise on how one might go undercover for a special assignment.

Blake warns Alexis that it's extremely important to keep "the collection" a secret, and Alexis agrees that the stain on the Carrington name would be dreadful...then smugly reminds him that Carrington is no longer her surname. She points out that since "the collection" was buried under the mansion while they were married, it should be considered community property...and as such she's willing to split the spoils with him. Blake gives her a 'the fuck?' look and reminds her that neither of them has the right to that artwork, given that it's looted Nazi treasure...to which she idiotically wails that hiding community property is a crime, and that if she took him to court the judge would surely award it all to her [I guess in lieu of giving it to the European families who were robbed during WWII]. Alexis tells Blake she'd much rather share it with him, then barely glances at her watch before breezily remarking, "Look at the time. I must go."

"You should be grateful that I'm willing to split the looted Nazi treasure with you."

"Instead of that, I'm going to focus on the operative words: looted and Nazi."

At the cottage, Dex and Jeff ask Zorelli what he uncovered about the tri-family mining company, and Zorelli gives them a brief recap and clarifies that most of his investigating wasn't in service of the Denver Police Department, but rather an attempt to get to the root of Fallon's nightmares. [That seems like kind of a rewriting of history, but OK.] He grumbles that if they hadn't gotten him pulled off of the case, he would have had it all wrapped up by now - but Dex and Jeff firmly insist that they had nothing to do with getting him pulled off the case...and it suddenly dawns on all of them that someone else has been pulling the strings, namely Captain Handler. Dex confirms that the dirty captain is "in it up to his elbows", leaving a stunned looking Zorelli to mutter, "Handler..?" and to remark that he always got a weird feeling about the guy. He reveals that his apartment was recently bugged using the same type of device that the Police Department uses - but has no idea what the captain could possibly be after. As Dex and Jeff exchange knowing glances, Zorelli urges them to share everything they know about Handler, pointing out that they're going to need his help if they want to bring down the bad cop.

Fallon is having a dream about a carousel-themed music box, then wakes up and stares contemplatively into space. 

At the Carlton Hotel, Sable tells Monica how annoyed she is that Alexis has successfully wormed her way back into Blake's good graces...and also announces that she told Dex about her pregnancy. Monica is surprised to hear that she actually came clean about it and is planning to have the baby...and then the two cackle about the upcoming ColbyCo trial before Sable tells her to skedaddle 'cause she's tired and wants to go to bed. 

The next morning, Fallon pesters Kristina about where she heard the song she was humming the other day. Kristina tells her it was from an old music box, then says she doesn't have time to talk about it anymore 'cause she needs to get to school.

Alexis drops by Sable's suite to announce that she'll no longer threaten to publicly accuse Blake of killing Roger Grimes - in exchange for Sable (and Monica) dropping the lawsuit against ColbyCo. Sable wryly says, "How magnanimous of you" before pointing out that after Fallon confessed to killing Roger Grimes, it's patently obvious that Blake didn't shoot the man. Alexis insists, "A deal's a deal" - but Sable tells her that that ship has sailed, while Monica points out that the FCC is already investigating ColbyCo. Alexis flippantly suggests putting their "pointy little heads together" to figure out how to convince the FCC to stop the investigation, under threat of revealing what she knows is buried under Carrington manor. When Sable pretends to not know what she's talking about, Alexis asks, "Does the name Adolf Hitler ring a bell?" Sable growls about how utterly stunning it is that she'd put forth such a gross ultimatum, especially considering what she and Blake went through with Fallon last night - but Alexis staunchly refuses to let any of them bring her down. She promises that if Sable drops the lawsuit, she'll give up all claim to the looted Nazi treasure [and says this as though she actually has any claim to it], and cheekily chirps, "Auf Wiedersehen" while sashaying out the door.

Zorelli arrives at the mansion to check in on Fallon and finds her in the conservatory, playing the piano. She explains that she's playing the song Kristina was humming the other day...and that while she no longer has scary dreams about Roger Grimes, she is starting to dream about a music box she used to play with, which she just realized plays the melody Kristina was humming. Zorelli and I are all, "Fuuuuuuuuck" upon learning that her relentlessly troubling dreams still haven't resolved themselves.

"I just started having unsettling dreams about a music box."

"^%$#@!!"

Tanner is playing basketball with the kids at the Teen Rec Center when Sammy Jo arrives to deliver real estate papers for the new and improved rec center location. Tanner acts all distant and cool, and a crestfallen Sammy Jo says that since her presence is obviously ruining his good mood, she'll leave. As she ambles back to her snazzy red convertible, he stares after her sadly. 

Sable heads over to Denver Carrington to inform Blake of Alexis's illogical ultimatum. She offers to drop her lawsuit, and Blake thanks her for giving up on a satisfying revenge fantasy in order to get him off the hook for murdering a man everyone now knows Fallon unwittingly killed when she was five. A few seconds later, Dex arrives to report to Blake that Dennis Grimes was released from prison earlier than expected, and that Zorelli is currently looking into any links between him and Captain Handler. He shows Blake a mug shot of Dennis Grimes, and Blake does a double take as he gasps, "My lord!" and remarks on how closely he resembles his father.

Zorelli and Jeff are sitting in a car, parked across the street from Captain Handler's apartment. Jeff says he can't belieeeeeeve they're about to break into the home of a police captain, so Zorelli insists that it's the most effective way to find the intel they need. As soon as Handler exits his place, Zorelli and Jeff grab their gloves and sneak over to the building...and after breaking into the apartment, they start searching the drawers and closets. 

Kristina leads Fallon to the secret fort (located near the cottage) where she, LB, and Danny often play. She shows Fallon the trap door revealing a steep tunnel equipped with stairs that lead to an old mine shaft. Fallon says she's deeply shocked that the three of them regularly play in what looks like a pretty dangerous hole in the ground.

Zorelli tells Jeff he found something incriminating: a tape of himself and Fallon talking when they were at the cottage. Zorelli says this proves that Handler has been bugging them, and Jeff wonders aloud if Handler thought that maybe their conversations could lead him to "the collection". No doubt he did, Jeff. No doubt he did.

​Fallon and Kristina enter an old mineshaft, which is covered in cobwebs...and before long they stumble upon "the collection". Kristina shows her the carousel-themed music box that plays the song she's been humming, and a few seconds later, they're startled when they hear a male voice say, "Well, what do we have here?" Fallon is horrified to see Dennis Grimes crouching near a tiny entrance and pointing a flashlight in their direction. He snarlingly tells Fallon she might not know him, but that he knows she killed his father. 

"You're the gal who shot my pa."

"I plead temporary insanity on the grounds that I was five years old at the time."

Jeff and Zorelli make a beeline over to Denver Carrington to report to Blake that they found proof Captain Handler illegally tapped Zorelli's apartment, as well as the cottage. Blake frets about how Handler has him in a pickle for a murder charge 'cause apparently a witness saw him leave Elsworth Chisolm's apartment around the time he was found dead. He suddenly worries about Handler surveilling Fallon and tries to call her at the mansion, and Jeannette informs him that she and Kristina were supposed to go to Delta Rho earlier - but everyone is getting worried 'cause they never showed up there, and aren't home yet. Zorelli tells Blake that Fallon and Kristina were on the hunt for a music box, and Blake worriedly recalls that "the collection" contains antique music boxes.

​Captain Handler meets up with whatever shady people he's secretly working with to acquire "the collection". An unseen woman in the back of limousine asks Handler the status of Dennis Grimes's search for the looted Nazi treasure, so Handler tells her that Dennis called him about an hour ago, revealed that he found "the collection", but in the process had to take two Carrington females hostage. The woman in the limo calls Dennis a lunatic, and Handler concurs before climbing into the vehicle.

Back at the Carlton Hotel, Adam tells Alexis, who's enjoying a luxurious bubble bath, that he never actually believed Blake killed Roger Grimes, then bizarrely lays claim to half of "the collection" by virtue of being her son. When he nonsensically argues that he's not required to honor her agreement with Sable by giving up his rightful share of the looted Nazi treasure, Alexis chucklingly remarks on "what a greedy little monster" he is. [And also really weirdly delusional for a lawyer.] A few seconds later, Dex enters the suite and admonishes Alexis for giving Sable the icky ultimatum to drop her lawsuit - but Alexis just kind of shrugs and says she had to do something drastic to save her company, then accuses him of conspiring with Sable to bring the lawsuit to fruition. Dex denies having anything at all to do with that and points out that they don't have to be enemies - but Alexis argues that, actually, they do, 'cause when he bedded Sable, he destroyed any chance of them ever being friends again.

Monica tells Sable she thinks it's a mistake to drop the lawsuit, given that they have such a strong case against Alexis. Sable insists she really really wants to just drop it so that she can bring her new baby into the world free of any family-related vendettas. When Monica teases her about eyeing Blake as potential sugar daddy material, Sable firmly retorts that the old goat's heart will always belong to Krystle...and that no one else could ever stand a chance.

Down in the mineshaft, Dennis has tied up Fallon and is yelling at Kristina to stop her incessant crying. As he starts sifting through the looted Nazi treasure, Fallon begs him to untie her, assuring him that she's far too meek and fragile a lady to cause him bodily harm. Dennis decides 'sure, what could go wrong with doing that?' and unties her...and Fallon promptly grabs the nearest candlestick and hits him over the head with it. She then picks up his gun and opens fire, which causes the ceiling of the mineshaft to destabilize and start crumbling atop them. She's knocked unconscious by a piece of falling debris, leaving Kristina to cry and scream in terror.

Captain Handler and a team of police officers arrive at Carrington manor with a search warrant. When Blake returns home (with Jeff)  a few seconds later, he's all, "The fuck are these cops doing here?", then runs up the staircase to ask Handler the whereabouts of his daughters. Handler assures him they're fine, then says they need to have a private one-on-one.
​
Underground, Kristina shakes Fallon and begs her to wake up...and when Fallon remains unconscious, Kristina lays next to her and whimpers about how frightened she is. 

Tanner tells Sammy Jo he's leaving Denver for awhile so that he can pontificate over which is more important: his feelings for her, or his desire to be a priest. Sammy Jo moans about how guilty she feels about making him want to give up the priesthood for her - but he assures her that it would be his choice, and that she doesn't need to bear any of the guilt. He leans in for a kiss...and then looks visibly tormented as he helplessly gazes at her blonde hotness. 

Over at Police Headquarters, Zorelli is dismayed to learn that Captain Handler just took a team of cops with him for the purpose of searching Carrington manor. 

Captain Handler tells Blake that Fallon and Kristina will be released once he gets possession of "the collection". When he further explains that the two are being held by Dennis Grimes, Blake instantly looks horrified and points out that the man is a maniac. Jeff, who has been eavesdropping at the door, bursts into the room just as Handler pulls out his gun and points it at Blake...and Blake uses the distraction to pick up a fire iron and hit Handler over the head. He proceeds to press it against Handler's throat while demanding to know where his daughters are, and Handler caves pretty quick for a top law enforcement officer and reveals that they two are being help hostage in an underground bunker near the cottage. 

"Tell me everything I want to know!"

"Uncle! Uncle!"

Adam arrives on the mezzanine floor of the Carlton Hotel to meet with Sable and Monica, who warns that their legally binding agreement with Alexis to drop the lawsuit is null and void if Alexis breaks her part of the bargain. Monica then punches Adam in the face as retaliation for the "incestuous" photo he arranged to have published in The Inquisitor. As he shoves her onto a chair and warns her to never punch him again, Alexis casually saunters over to read over the fine print of the contract.

Blake holds Captain Handler at gunpoint and snarlingly informs him that they're going to head down the staircase and then exit the mansion without alerting any of the cops that something is amiss. 

Down in the mineshaft, Fallon finally wakes up and assures Kristina that everything is going to be A-OK. Kristina wails that the exit is blocked with large chunks of concrete...and as they try navigate their way through the rubble, we see that Dennis Grimes, who's trapped under a heavy wood beam, is starting to regain consciousness. Eeeeek!

Dex arrives at the Carlton Hotel to needlessly report to Sable that Alexis refused to part with him as friends 'cause she no longer needs him to do her any special favors. When Sable (rightly) points out that this kind of whining is beneath him, Dex directs his attention to her and proceeds to whines about how she cried on his shoulder after Fritz Heath had held her at gunpoint. He then throws all caution to the wind as he cries, "My child will need me!", and Sable irritably retorts that she really didn't expect him to announce their personal bidness in such a public fashion. As Dex insists that he is going to be a father to his child, a bored looking Alexis gets up from the couch, while Adam sneeringly mocks Dex for being Sable's stud horse. Dex reacts by physically attacking him and telling Alexis what a cretin she has for a son. An incensed Adam growls, "That's the last time you're ever going to hit me.." and lunges at Dex, sending both him and - by choreographed accident - Alexis flying through the wood railing and onto the lobby floor below. Adam, Sable, and Monica are all, "Ack!" and peer over the broken railing with looks of horror etched on their faces. 

Captain Handler is descending the staircase with Blake and Jeff when Zorelli angrily bursts into the mansion to instigate a badly-timed ruckus. Handler uses it as an opportunity to grab another cop's gun to open fire on Blake...and Zorelli in turn fires on Handler. When both Blake and Handler fall to the ground and start to bleed out, Jeannette rushes off to call an ambulance. 

And that is where the writers left Dynasty fans hanging - before ABC abruptly pulled the plug on a floundering series that prolly should have been taken off the air far, far sooner than the end of Season 9.

Thanks so much for your interest in my recaps of this iconic series!

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