Recap: Alexis in her office, watching news coverage of Blake's gubernatorial campaign when Sean saunters into the room. In his stump speech, Blake insists to voters that he's not against economic growth, but is against the destruction of precious timberland for personal gain, citing it as "rotten greed". As the onlookers applaud, Alexis rolls her eyes and shuts off the TV. Sean reminds Alexis that she still has a handshake agreement with Arthur Whitcomb to purchase his 70K acres of timberland...and she concurs - but worries that the deal isn't totally nailed down and that Whitcomb can't be trusted. As she once again laments not being in the gubernatorial race, Sean suggests they forget about this tedious storyline for awhile and go on a short vacation, promising to get her back to Denver in time for the primary election. Alexis breathily coos about what a romantic man he is, then calls her editor at The Denver Mirror to strategize on ways in which her daily rag can serve to further torment Blake. At Delta Rho, Sammy Jo tells Steven it was lovely having him home for dinner, and he natters about how crazy busy he's been with the football team lately, and that Josh has been turning things around. Sammy Jo applauds his decision to make Josh the main quarterback, then explains that the kiss he witnessed between them during the end of the previous episode was just "a friendly thing". When Steven pissily says he doesn't actually buy that, she reminds him that he was the one who insisted on separate beds...and muses that maybe a hetero hunk like Josh is what she needs right now. Steven mulls that over and promises to spend more quality time with her, which seems like sending out some really mixed messaging for an already confused dim-twit. Blake and Krystle return to campaign headquarters and are greeted like conquering heroes by the campaign staff. A few seconds later, they pore over the evening news and learn that, not surprisingly, The Denver Mirror is endorsing Blake's opponent: Ralph Dunbar. The article goes on to question whether or not Blake is capable of disengaging from his business, and Krystle angrily points out that everyone knows he'll divest from Denver Carrington if he's elected. Blake tells her to not get upset by the unflattering coverage and points out that the governor's race is going to be a long hard fight. Krystle back pedals and tells him she's looking forward to her many upcoming campaign events, including a speech to educators and tea with the voters council. Jeff informs Blake that Arthur Whitcomb is holed up in his Vail condo and is refusing to budge on handing over his 70K acres of timberland for the purpose of preserving the wildlife, and Blake scrunches his face in annoyance and says that despite the bad blood that exists between them, he doesn't get why Arthur is afraid to talk to him. Alexis and Sean are aboard a private jet, en route to their vacation destination (which remains a surprise for Alexis). The two enjoy champagne, and Alexis says she knows the trip will be wonderful 'cause the two of them will be together. Over at the stadium, Josh gifts Danny a football jersey with his number on it. He then apologizes to Sammy Jo for smooching her, [falsely] promising that it won't happen again. A few seconds later, an irked looking Steven enters the stadium and is all, "Whaddup with my family being here?", so Sammy Jo nervously explains that Josh invited Danny to the stadium to watch the team practice, then gave him a football jersey. After she and Danny make a hasty exit, Josh contritely tells Steven he knows how wrong it was to kiss his ex-wife and says he respects their non-hetero/beard/whatever arrangement. Steven snappishly retorts, "I don't want your shirts, and I don't want your apologies", then chides him for losing his concentration during today's practice. He sternly orders him to focus solely on football and to stay away from his family.
Alexis and Sean arrive at a secluded villa on the "southern coast of Mexico" (mmm, Acapulco..?), which - Sean proudly says - has no phone, radio, or TV. He goes on to inform Alexis that, for the next three days, they'll be on their own without a chef or a housemaid...then picks up a fishing pole and offers to take the tiny boat out to fish for their dinner. Alexis winces at the horror of this vacation and murmurs about how much she'd love some caviar, then saucily suggests they skip dinner altogether and just hit the sheets. Blake travels to Vail to drop in on Arthur Whitcomb, who looks less than thrilled to see him and snarlingly informs him that he has every right to sell his 70K acres of timberland to Alexis if he wants to. Blake acknowledges to Arthur that he knows all about the bad blood that festered between him and his curmudgeonly father - but points out that despite Tom Carrington's shenanigans, they both turned out to be successful, wealthy businessmen. Blake reminds him that they'd both shared the same dream about keeping Colorado "virginal and beautiful", to which Arthur argues he doesn't think the state should be "one big damn park". When he threatens to call security, Blake announces he's leaving...but on his way out, he insists that one way or another he's going to make their dream of preserving Colorado's wildlife come true, a pronouncement that leaves Arthur staring contemplatively into space. The next morning, Sean tells Alexis he's going to use the tiny boat to row to the nearest village and get them some sustenance. When she offers to accompany him, he urges her to chillax and assures her he'll be back very soon. Over at Carrington manor, Jeff asks Fallon what she's reading...and when he sees that it's a book about UFOs, he rolls his eyes and moans, "Oh boy." She wearily mutters, "Don't start", and then he asks when, in the name of all that is holy, this wretched storyline is going to completely run its course. He snippily informs her that one of her "weirdo friends" called to remind her about a UFO support group meeting tomorrow morning, complaining that the whole thing has "a ring of lunacy to it". Fallon looks visibly annoyed that he didn't pass along that message earlier, and urges him to attend the meeting with her so he can get his brain around her otherworldly encounter...and he responds by staring back at her mutely while sighing heavily. Adam and Dana are at the Carlton Hotel restaurant, waiting to meet up with Karen. When Adam expresses concern that his sperm and Karen's egg "didn't take", Dana says it'd be perfectly OK for them to not rush this process, forget about surrogacy altogether, and settle into marriage more. Adam irritably insists that he has settled into marriage, and is utterly enchanted by the prospect of having a child who could very well be the grandson of the next Colorado governor. A few seconds later, Karen arrives...and when Adam offers her wine, she declines and announces that - hurray! - she's been successfully impregnated with his demon seed. While Dana makes a weak attempt to smile in response, a joyous Adam woots with joy, clasps Karen's hand, and profusely thanks her for being their surrogate. After he excuses himself to go to work, Karen asks Dana whassup with her less-than-enthusiastic reaction, so Dana says she's not entirely thrilled with the notion of her husband having a child with a woman who's not her. Karen warmly takes her hand, points out that she's merely the bio mom, and promises to share the pregnancy experience with her at every step. She then jokes about how bizarre it is to be knocked up by [an odd bird of] a man she barely knows - but insists that the spawn will legally and lovingly become her child. You might want to get that in writing, Dana. Over at campaign headquarters, Leslie is massaging Jeff's shoulders when Dex enters the room looking for Blake. Jeff abruptly announces that he's outa here after enduring such a long work day, and bids the two good night. Dex shoots Leslie the stink-eye, calls her "a piece of work", and chides her for grabbing whatever she can get by first moving in on Alexis, and now Jeff. He snidely asks her if she's attempting to become a first rate Colby rather than remaining a second rate Carrington, and she sassily invites him to stay tuned to find out. A violent storm hits "the southern coast of Mexico", and a panicked Alexis returns to the villa after searching for Sean on the beach. As rain and leaves blow into the villa, which apparently has no electricity or window panes, Alexis is unable to light a candle and becomes so distressed that she sinks to the floor and weeps uncontrollably. At daybreak, a despondent Alexis is still huddled on the floor when a soaking wet Sean returns to the villa. She clings to him desperately and says she was sure he had drowned. He woodenly recalls how terrified he was - not of death, but by the prospect of never seeing her again. An overwhelmed Alexis unbuttons his shirt and starts pawing his bare chest in incessant desperation while gasping, "Ooooh Sean." [Ooooh Alexis...you're getting almost as weird as your boyfriend.]
Jeff has accompanied Fallon to her UFO support group meeting (in someone's house), and is rolling his eyes in amusement as a man recalls a play-by-play of his experience meeting an extraterrestrial being. Fallon chimes in and tells the man that, much like him, she too felt both controlled and peaceful at the same time. Another member of the group asks if LB ever had dreams about strange creatures, and Jeff snarkishly says that his son has nothing at all to do with aliens, and that if he ever brought them up as a topic of conversation, he'd rush him to the nearest psychiatrist. He then huffily leaves the house while Fallon opts to stay and finish out the session. Back in Mexico, Alexis is cooking up eggs and tortillas when Sean suggests they take the plunge and get married. Alexis responds by gushing about how much she adores him, and that he's kind, strong, and romantic - but doesn't know him nearly well enough to enter into a legally binding union. Sean tells her that his parents only knew each other for two weeks before his father proposed...and that, despite that utter insanity, the two had a great marriage. He asks Alexis if she believes in fate, e.g. the way he just happened to witness her near drowning. He then draws her closer to him, convinces her that she'd deeply regret turning down his proposal, and she stares back at him contemplatively. Nooooo, Alexis! Don't do it. Josh drops by Delta Rho to flirt with Sammy Jo...and when he leans in close and gives her a long, amorous smooch, she doesn't try to pull away. She looks conflicted as she explains, "Steven and I love each other in our own way, very deeply" ... and that while some people may not understand the beard-like nature of their coupling, they do. She adds that Steven is a gentle, caring man she wouldn't hurt for anyone, and Josh chews on that for a few seconds before hastily exiting the house. An exuberant Adam returns home and presents Dana with a pair of enormous ruby earrings. When she coos about how much she loves the exquisite jewels, he asks her if she thinks Karen will like them (!) and Dana's face falls as she squeaks, "Karen..?" She mumbles that she's pretty sure their surrogate will enjoy having such large, expensive earrings, and Adam cluelessly natters about how long it took him to pick them out. As he strides over to the bathroom to shower, a visibly put out Dana stares concernedly at the over-the-top gift. Elsewhere in Carrington manor, Leslie wishes Jeff good luck with today's primary, applauds him for doing a wonderful job on the campaign, then kisses him on the cheek - an intimate gesture that's witnessed by both Fallon and Dex. When a miffed Fallon shoots Jeff a 'the fuck?' glare, he hastily scurries off...and this emboldens Dex to blab to her that it was Leslie who told him about her UFO encounter. When Fallon wonders how in the hell she found out about it, Dex wryly explains, "She has her ways. About a lot of things." A few seconds later, Gerard tiptoes over to inform them that the election telecast is about to begin. Over at the local TV station, Blake is getting his makeup done prior to going before cameras when Arthur Whitcomb drops by to hand over the deed to his 70K acres of timberland. He sheepishly admits to Blake that he was 100% right about protecting the land and wildlife. Blake looks overwhelmed with gratitude and profusely thanks him, and Arthur says the best thanks would be for him to be the best gosh-darn governor the state has ever had. During the telecast, Krystle stands in the background, staring adoringly as Blake waves around Whitcomb's deed and explains to viewers that it's for the 70K acres of timberland that was generously given to him so he could preserve the land and retain the raw beauty that is Colorado. He then promises that his amazing governorship will bring about more jobs and subsidies for education and social services and whatnot. Back at Carrington manor, everyone applauds his speech - as Sammy Jo slips in late and fibs to Steven that she got delayed 'cause she had to referee an argument between two stable boys. Back at the Mexican villa, a Mariachi band is performing while a handful of locals are milling around as filler guests of Alexis's/Sean's impromptu wedding. Alexis makes a grand entrance wearing a frilly knee-length red dress and clutching a white bouquet, prompting Sean to wank, "My God, you look beautiful." A few seconds later, the judge who was summoned to perform the ceremony arrives, and gushes to Sean about his "muy bonita" fiancée. Alexis blushingly thanks him for the compliment, and the ceremony very quickly gets underway and is over in precisely 96 seconds (yes, I actually timed it).
Back at Carrington manor, Blake asks Fallon if things between her and Jeff are OK - but she declines to get into it and says she'd much rather they focused on the returns of tonight's primary election. Alexis and Sean have returned to Denver following their quickie wedding and stop in at ColbyCo. Alexis is in the process of dictating a voice memo to Leslie when Leslie enters her office with some papers that need to be signed. She remarks, "Interesting about Uncle Blake, isn't it?" and explains that she's referring to the early projection that he won the primary. As Alexis pales and gasps, "What?!", Leslie wryly says that Whitcomb's last minute decision to give him the 70K acres of timberland probably didn't hurt. Alexis does her best to mask her shock and kindly asks Leslie to beat it...and once she's safely out of hearing range, Alexis rails about Blake's ability to sweet-talk Arthur Whitcomb into doing his bidding. Sean reminds her that this is just a primary and that Blake is not governor yet, and Alexis whirls around and breathily vows, "He never will be. Never." Blake and Krystle arrive at campaign headquarters, where the staff (and press) are celebrating his win with confetti and balloons. Blake gushingly thanks his supporters and expresses his gratitude for their kindness and help as they forge ahead with the gubernatorial race. Steven privately congratulates Blake on his win, then explains that he needs to take Sammy Jo home before jetting off to Houston for business. Adam then interjects with an announcement of his own: "we're going to have a baby!" As everyone oohs and aahs at the happy news, Dana awkwardly accepts the family's warm wishes while looking visibly uncomfortable [that the surrogacy is moving along in such an implausibly speedy fashion]. Later at Delta Rho, Steven declines Sammy Jo's offer to accompany him on his business trip even after she pleadingly says she really really doesn't want to be alone tonight - but Steven says he'll be too busy to spend even a minute with her, and promises to be back home soon. As Sammy Jo lounges atop the couch and stares despondently into space, Josh drops by the ranch and explains that her houseman let him inside. She softly tells him he shouldn't be here...and when he asks her if she wants him to leave, she stares at him mutely before the two pucker up and indulge in their most amorous smoochfest to date. At the Carlton Hotel, Sean gets a phone call...and his face immediately tightens as he asks, "Why did you call me here?", then says it's already done, adding, "I married the woman." He then barks at whoever's on the other end to not call him here ever again...and when Alexis emerges from the bathroom and asks who he was just talking to, he breezily fibs that it was a wrong number. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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