Dynasty - Season 8, Episode 10

Alexis would surely have thrived in Tudor England

"The Fair"
Original airdate: 12/9/1987

Episode summary: Alexis hosts an Old English Fair and tries to publicly embarrass Blake with some old video footage (that doesn't really seem all that embarrassing). Fallon tells Jeff she intends to file for divorce. Josh proposes to Sammy Jo.

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Recap: After reading the morning paper, Blake tells Krystle he's happy to learn that the popularity of his gubernatorial candidacy is steadily gaining in the polls. A few seconds later, a man dressed up in a court jester costume drops by to deliver a personal telegram performance to invite them, in the most whimsical manner possible, to Alexis's fundraiser (themed Old English Fair). After he scampers off, Blake and Krystle chucklingly ponder whether or not they should attend the party...and Krystle can't help but wonder if she should have given Alexis the video of her and Blake touring the Hampton Springs Drug Rehabilitation Center. Blake breezily says he's sure it's fine, and that he's looking forward to an evening dressed up as an English lord while having to socialize with his ex-wife and her weird new husband.

Josh, who's once again decked out in his crop top, is packing up his stuff when Sammy Jo drops by his apartment. He sourly remarks that their hookup seems to mean nothing more to her than a one night stand, and she weakly insists that she sorta kinda does care about him, and urges him to not run away...like she did soon after Danny was born, and ended up missing out on three years of his life. Josh says he haaaaaaas to leave Denver...but when Sammy Jo says she doesn't want their [chemistry-free coupling] to end like this, he perks up and stares back at her in mute hopefulness.

While enjoying a beverage at an outdoor cafe, Fallon tells Blake that she and Jeff are separating, not least 'cause he's been acting like such an insufferable douchebag ever since she stupidly told him about her alien visitation. Blake scrunches his wrinkly face concernedly and says he loves them both...but insists that she feel free to move ahead with a divorce, regardless of how negatively it might affect his gubernatorial campaign.

Josh storms into Steven's office and brusquely announces that he wants back on the football team, and would like to play on Sunday. Steven, who was in the middle of a phone call, hangs up and informs Josh that he's currently in the process of recruiting his replacement - but Josh warns that if he dumps him as the quarterback, no way in hell is the team ever going to make it to the playoffs. Steven's all, "Egads!" and asks him what changed his mind, so Josh solemnly replies that he ran into an old friend: himself. As Steven ponders that incoherent retort, the phone rings, and he tells whoever's on the other end that he's no longer in the market for a quarterback, and says this while looking over at Josh. He then hangs up, and somehow refrains from pressing Josh on whether or not he'll agree to get a physical (and presumably drug test), which was the reason the dipshit so bitchily quit the team during the previous episode.

Alexis is in her hotel suite primping for the evening when she confirms to Sean that both Blake and Krystle have RSVPed for her Old English Fair party. Fantastic.

Dana arrives home and spacily tells Adam she was just at the doctor's with Karen and felt the baby move. Adam's all, "Really?!" and giddily hugs her before announcing that tonight they'll be dining with Alexis and Sean. Dana makes a blech face and says she's in no mood to do that - but Adam insists she be present, 'cause he has an unnaturally strong desire for her and his mother to get along. Dana reluctantly agrees, then stares miserably into space while Adam envelopes her in a grateful hug.

Over at campaign headquarters, Krystle and Jeff are watching the video of her and Blake touring the Hampton Springs Drug Rehabilitation Center, which looks like innocent enough footage. Krystle gently tells Jeff that she heard about his marriage going kaput, and Jeff sighs and says he's getting tired of the rollercoaster type relationship and would prefer to have a wife who has zero desire for the kind of personal independence that Fallon seems to be craving lately. He further complains, "I grew up expecting that the husband works hard and takes care of the family, and the wife is there to support him. It's just not that way. I just feel lost." Krystle stares back at him with an expression of serene pensiveness and agrees that, yep, misogynistic husbands had it way better during the '50s, and '60s...then urges him to fight hard to keep his/Fallon's marriage together if even a small part of him wants to keep riding that rollercoaster. 

"Do you think it's unreasonable to expect a wife to devote her every waking moment to her husband's needs?"

"Based on my current marital situation, nope."

Sammy Jo is grooming one of her horses when Josh enters the stables, dressed like a stereotypical cowboy as he leads around one of the horses. Sammy Jo giggles at his getup and says she's soooooo happy he decided to rejoin the football team. Josh suggests they go riding together and leans in for an aggressive smooch, but Sammy Jo pulls away and makes it clear that she's definitely not into it. Josh irritably asks why she fights him off when they're so good together, declares that he's deeply in love with her, then drops down on one knee and proposes (yep...marriage). A bewildered Sammy Jo declines to agree to marry someone she met less than a month ago, and Josh admonishes her for pretending she loved him during yesterday's "pep talk", and storms off.

After an awkward dinner at the Carlton Hotel, Adam invites Alexis to cut a rug with him on the dance floor, leaving Dana alone at the table with Sean...who gives her her first assignment: get a copy of the Denver Carrington board meeting minutes and then surreptitiously slip them to him during the Old English Fair party. He adds that he also wants any documentation on Blake's divestiture. Dana defiantly asks what he'll do if she refuses, and he tells her he'll reveal her botched abortion secret, in its entirety, to the world...and when an appalled Dana calls that blackmail, he grinningly replies, "You're wrong, Dana. That's life."

Leslie is alone in Alexis's office, mimicking her boss as she lights up a slim and talks in a faux British accent as she leaves herself a voice memo. Naturally, Alexis enters the room at that moment and looks amused by Leslie's imitation of her...and gives her embarrassed assistant some sage life advice: if she wants to appear more Alexis-like, she needs to wear shorter skirts and lots of really expensive jewelry. She glances down at Leslie's chunky bracelet, a cheap imitation of the pricey one she's wearing...then takes hers off, gives it to Leslie, and tells her to consider it "a taste of the future". 

Josh phones Sammy Jo to tell her he wants them to get together tonight, but she declines 'cause she and Steven are scheduled to attend Alexis's Old English Fair party. She tells him they prolly shouldn't see each other for the next while (or ever), then abruptly ends the call when Steven ambles into the room wearing his silly looking Tudor court costume.

​Party time! Alexis, who's dressed up as a Tudor/Elizabethan queen, makes her grand entrance in the Carlton Hotel courtyard and decrees, "Let the fair begin!" A few seconds later, she and Sean greet Blake and Krystle (who decided to come as a page boy).

Alexis circulates among the guests and eventually finds Dex sitting in the dunk tank. He amiably urges her to try to dunk him...and she throws three balls at the target, but misses each time.

Jeff, who's dressed up as a Tudor court extra, is in the mansion's study when Fallon sweeps into the room wearing a beautiful white princess gown, accessorized with an elegant crown and pearl necklace. She tells him she's been thinking a lot about their deteriorating marriage and has decided it's definitely time to file for divorce...and Jeff stares back at her in stunned bewilderment and says he assumed she'd want to give it another try. She says that clearly he hasn't been listening to her constant bellyaching about how unhappy she is in this marriage, wants them both to move on with their lives, and says they each deserve more than they're able to give one another. Jeff chews on that for a few seconds, then snappishly says they should prolly head over to Alexis's Old English Fair party now. 

"Our marriage is so broken that we need to divorce, like yesterday."

"I feebly beg to differ."

Steven and Sammy Jo arrive at the party...and when Sammy Jo says she has to head over to Ye Old Kissing Booth for her first shift, Alexis mutters, "How appropriate." When Steven chides her for her cattiness, she contritely promises to be nicer to his baby mama - just as Sean ambles over and tells Alexis that "everything" is under control. Leslie, meanwhile, get so alarmed by the performing fire-eater blowing flames everywhere that she scrambles to her feet and in the process accidentally bumps into Jeff. Fallon shoots her the stink-eye, than wanders off to look for Alexis...and Jeff roams off in search of the nearest bar, which looks like it's in some kind of makeshift barn.

Over at a game booth, Blake plays the shell game with Sean and wins twice, so Sean suggests they make it more interesting and suggests that Blake wager his diamond ring. For some reason, Blake agrees to this and promptly loses...then quickly discovers it's 'cause Sean has cheated, and in good-natured retaliation takes back his diamond ring.

Dana returns to the mansion later than expected, and Adam reminds her they're expected at Alexis's Old English Fair party and that it's super important to his mother that they both attend. An irked Dana says she doesn't feel like going and is getting increasingly creeped out by his babyish devotion to pleasing his mother [or maybe that was just me, projecting], and Adam just stares at her in exasperation before irritably storming out of the bedroom.
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Steven indulges in a very long smooch from Sammy Jo at Ye Old Kissing Booth, and she seems to delight in his continued mixed messaging and laughingly orders him to pay up for the high quality smooch. 

Josh arrives at the Old English Fair looking visibly high, and calls out for Sammy Jo. He spots her and staggers over to Ye Old Kissing Booth, pulls out some cash, and says he wants to buy lots of kisses from his fiancée. As he tries to lunge-kiss Sammy Jo, Steven grabs him, and then he and a security guard promptly rush the out-of-control druggie off of the premises. A few seconds later, Sammy Jo finds Steven in the barn bar and says she was more than capable of handling Josh...and clarifies that, yeah, he had proposed to her - but that she's only interested in helping him, not marrying him. She then looks up at Steven hopefully and says she was hoping they might rekindle the kind of pre-Danny romance they had when he was at least slightly into women - but he firmly declares that that's a no go.

Adam arrives at the party and tells Alexis that Dana is sick - just as Dana rushes in and says she suddenly realized how important it is to him that she accompany him to the party. Adam thanks her for coming, and she concedes that he was right about wanting them to please his mommy 24/7...then glances across the courtyard and sees Sean staring over at her. 

Alexis and Krystle have somehow agreed to a tug of war competition over a square pit filled with mud...and I can only assume that the writers decided they suddenly missed writing messy catfight scenes between these two middle-aged women that used to be way more of a regular thing on Dynasty. The two seem evenly matched in strength - until Krystle tugs hard on the giant rope, causing Alexis's stunt double to dive face-first into the mud pit. As the observers cackle delightedly at the spectacle, Alexis lifts up her mud spattered face and admits to Krystle that she won this round...but warns that the night is still young. 

"I've missed our filthy catfights."

"Come on in, the mud's fine."

Sammy Jo is sitting by herself in the barn bar, looking as despondent as she can muster, when Jeff ambles over. He glumly tells her that Fallon wants a divorce, and she says that her life too is very complicated [though not really] as she does her best to keep her family together. 

Leslie enters the ladies room, where Fallon is primping in front of the mirror. Leslie mocks her for working so hard to keep up appearances with Jeff...but then points out that since she's rich and aimless she really has nothing else to occupy her time. When she marvels at how unlike Alexis she is, Fallon calls her out for being obvious, a pale imitation of Alexis, and an identity-free nobody who tries to "take one woman's style and another woman's husband" - but has failed at both. 

An enraged Fallon storms out of the ladies room and heads straight for the dunk tank, where she grabs the ball out of some guy's hand, and throws it so hard that it hits the target and sends Dex splashing into the water. As Fallon giggles at a soaking wet Dex, he laughingly expresses amazement at her strength.

Sean slithers next to Dana and asks her if she brought along the documents he asked for, and she says she didn't, and that she won't allow herself to be blackmailed. Sean suggests they discuss the matter with Adam, who just happens to amble over to where they're standing. Sean comes right out and tells Adam that Dana just accused him of blackmailing her...and Adam assumes he's joking around and asks what deep dark secrets he discovered. Sean says he can't say, otherwise he won't be able to get what he wants from Dana...which, he weirdly pretends, is for her to join him on the dance floor. Adam says he thinks that that's a wonderful idea and seems stupidly oblivious to Dana's discomfort and Sean's creepiness. While heading to the dance floor, Sean snarlingly warns Dana again that he wants that information.

Alexis re-enters the party wearing a very chic red gown - just as the director of the Hampton Springs Drug Rehabilitation Center takes center stage to thank her for hosting this fundraiser and to publicly acknowledge Krystle and Blake for their tireless efforts in supporting the Center. She says she'd like to show a short film that chronicles their recent visit...and the footage begins with Blake's/Krystle's actual visit to the Center - but then cuts to unrelated footage of when Blake was filmed, innocently ambling around Cora Van Husen's Colorado Springs whorehouse on the day she gave her deposition. A horrified Blake shrieks, "Stop that film!" as the titillated partygoers titter amongst themselves at the sight of Blake Carrington being in the same room as scantily clad hookers. Alexis pretends to be utterly shocked that this footage was "somehow" mixed in with their innocent charity visit and insists that she's merely showing the film reel that was sent over by his campaign office. Krystle accuses her of lying before she and Blake angrily storm off...and then Alexis and Sean grin evilly at each other before Alexis joyously declares, "All in all, I think it's been quite an evening!"

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