Dynasty - Season 5, Episode 8

"I refuse to reveal Amanda's exact age 'cause I'm too worried you'll all do the math."

"The Secret"
Original airdate: 11/21/1984

Episode summary: Amanda goes to the press and outs Alexis as her bio mom. Steven meets Luke Fuller, a new gay ColbyCo employee. Krystle gets miffed when Blake refuses to reinstate her as Denver Carrington's PR manager. 

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Recap: Amanda poutishly complains to Alexis that she's been calling the wrong woman mother her entire life, then admonishes her for keeping the truth from her all these years. Alexis insists it was best for everyone, then recaps for viewers what happened off camera twenty-one years ago that has led us all to this implausible storyline: after being banished by Blake 'cause of her cheating ways, she quietly gave birth to Amanda and gave her to her cousin Rosalind so she wouldn't have to deal with the pesky scandal of being a newly divorced single mother. Amanda tells her she figured something was up when she requested a copy of her birth certificate and saw that it identified Alexis Carrington as her mother [there's a dead giveaway], while her father was listed as unknown. Alexis explains that her birth happened around the time that Blake gave her the dumperoo after catching her in bed with Roger Grimes...and soon after that, she jetted off to Switzerland, raw dogged it with a nameless ski instructor, and got herself knocked up. Amanda says she's miffed that she'll never know her father...and when Alexis insists that she really does loves her, Amanda retorts, "Prove it. Tell the world who I really am."

Over at the La Mirage, Blake asks Dominique for help locating Rashid Ahmed, 'cause he wants him to admit that he double-crossed him on the South China Sea oil lease debacle, and hopes that this confession will do something to help recoup all the millions he's lost. Dominique agrees to help, then asks Blake if he'll finally trust her and declare to the world that she's his sister...but he shakes his head and says he's not prepared to promise anything like that.

Steven is packing up his office at ColbyCo when his [spoiler] future gay lover, Luke Fuller, stops by. He tells Steven he's the new executive assistant to the PR director and for some reason needs someone at Steven's level to sign off on a press release. Steven snappishly says he'll do it tomorrow...but then immediately regrets his bitchitude and quickly looks over the press release and gives him the green light to publish it. Luke remarks on how stressed he seems and takes the liberty of straightening his tie - just as Claudia arrives, gives the two a knowing look, and gets introduced as Steven's wife-beard. After Luke hastily excuses himself, Steven tells Claudia he can't make lunch 'cause he's off to Alexis' penthouse to see what her mood is like now that she's no longer in prison for Porn-'stache's murder. 

"Meet my wife-beard, Claudia."

"Hello, competitor."

​Steven tells Alexis he's all packed up and ready to leave ColbyCo, and that he knows she'll probably never forgive him for testifying against her at the trial - even though he was merely recounting what he thought he saw. Alexis admits that, yep, she was very hurt the day he testified, but that she could feel his pain both then and now...and since she's no longer behind bars, she'd rather not carry any grudges against her own children. She forgives him for his testimony, declares it the past, and insists that their future at ColbyCo is what's important now. Steven's like, "Hurray!" and promises to make it up to her.

Krystle drops by the La Mirage to invite Claudia to lunch, but Claudia says she's too busy working...plus she continues to be irked that Steven didn't confide in her about witnessing Porn-'stache's murder. Krystle assures her that Steven loves her, but Claudia's convinced that they're drifting apart...not least 'cause ColbyCo just hired a new gay PR guy who's clearly smitten with her formerly (?) gay husband.    

At the penthouse, Alexis is hosting a little 'Welcome home from prison, me!' party and has invited Dex, Steven, Claudia, Adam, and Jeff to attend. As everyone toasts Alexis' freedom, Amanda is somehow able to saunter into the apartment (once again without a key or access code) clutching a newspaper. She smugly informs everyone that she just outed Alexis as her bio mom...and Alexis snatches the paper from her, reads the scandalous headline 'Alexis Colby Secret Revealed', and snaps, "You little bitch!" and gives Amanda a hard smack across the face.

"This kind of treachery deserves a hard smack."

thwack!

Blake is reading the newspaper article over breakfast and says that Alexis will either have to sue the paper or admit that Amanda Bedford is her daughter...then chuckles and adds, "Either way, it's going to be quite a show." That it is, Blake. That it is. When Steven makes judgey remarks about Amanda's decision to go to the press, Blake tells him not to be so hard on her, and that she's probably having a difficult time adjusting to her new reality as Alexis' second long lost spawn. He asks what Amanda's like, incidentally, so Claudia describes her as elegant and feisty...in other words, a lot like Fallon.  

Alexis and her adorable lapdog (!) are lounging in bed together, enjoying a leisurely breakfast when Amanda strides in and demands to know why she was summoned. Alexis tells her she needs to talk to her about some stuff, insists she fully deserved that hard face smack, and denies that giving her up at birth and then never ever mentioning her existence to anyone constitutes a betrayal. Alexis makes it clear that she'll tolerate no more public airing of their dirty laundry, then invites her to move into the penthouse...which makes sense, seeing as how Amanda just keeps wandering in and out of there whenever she feels like it anyway. Amanda squeals excitedly and says she's decided to change her last name to Carrington, since technically Alexis was still a Carrington when she gave birth...and Alexis rolls her eyes and dismissively retorts, "That's part of my past."

Krystle's obstetrician gives her a clean bill of health, and also gives her the OK to go back to her PR job at Denver Carrington. On her way out, she runs into Alexis, who weirdly assumes she was just at the jewelers (located next door to the doctor's) and even more weirdly warns her about how Blake will turn on her if she so much as makes one false move. Krystle smugly replies, "I don't make false moves" and climbs into her chauffeured car.

Back at the penthouse, Alexis tells Dex she wants to call off their romantic vacation so she can work things out with Amanda, and Dex gets miffed and grumbles, "But I already booked the yacht! Plus, I was going to propose!" When Alexis visibly flinches at the prospect of matrimony, Dex says that despite her being "married" to her children, business, and memories of Blake "there's been more fire between us than any man you've ever had in your life." Alexis concurs that, yep, things always get super hot whenever they hit the sheets, then makes it clear that she's saying no to marriage, not the fire. Dex tries to storm off angrily, but she pulls him toward her and coos, "Dex...Dex...don't go" ... and when he sullenly tells her to give him a reason to stay, she plants a big smooch on his lips and whispers, "Make love to me" and he perks up and looks all into it.  

At the La Mirage, Amanda complains to Adam that her whole life has suddenly changed now that she's Alexis' long lost daughter...and Adam agrees that, yep, learning you have totally different bio parents decades later is definitely an adjustment. Jeff stumbles over and asks who "the blonde" is, then pretends he just remembered that her name is Amanda. That was a bizarre exchange. Adam growls at him to lower his voice and get lost...and once he's out of earshot, Amanda just shrugs and says she doesn't mind being at the center of an embarrassing spectacle. Adam remarks that she's a lot like Fallon...but way cuter and nicer to talk to - like a Fallon 6.0 - and then the two sit down at a table and stare at each other with intrigued expressions.

Post-doink, Alexis sneaks out of bed and tiptoes downstairs to call Rosalind in London. When she chides her cousin for allowing Amanda to travel to the U.S., Rosalind wryly tells her that Amanda is impossible to stop once she sets her mind to something (just like Fallon! LOL). Alexis warns her that if Blake happens to call and ask her about Amanda's bio dad, she's to reveal nothing...then warns that if she blabs the truth, she'll rat her husband out for his recent embezzlement schemes.  

Krystle puts on a nun's habit style maternity frock and joins Blake at the breakfast table. He happily tells her that a well in Alaska struck oil last night, which means he doesn't have anymore cash flow problems. Krystle's like, "That's nice" and tells him how excited she is to return to work...and Blake stares back at her blankly and goes, "Work..?" then shakes his head and says, "Nope, I can't allow that." Krystle says the doctor gave her the OK to return to Denver Carrington, but Blake argues that it's too risky for her to be out in the world in her delicate condition, then points out that there's probably not much point to her coming back to Denver Carrington, since she's already seven months pregnant and would just have to leave again in a few weeks. Fair point. Krystle gets miffed and asks him if he thinks she doesn't fit in with his business anymore 'cause of what happened during the last episode with Hal Lombard, but Blake insists that his concern has nothing to do with that creep, and that her only job at the moment is to be a baby incubator until she's ready to deliver a healthy Carrington heir.

"Denver Carrington has a strict policy to not hire heavily pregnant trophy wives."

"That seems arbitrary."

Claudia suggests to Steven that they take Danny to the zoo, but he declines and says he's too busy with work all weekend. Claudia moans about how she's increasingly feeling like an afterthought, and he snappishly retorts that he and Luke were just talking, not flirting...despite the total flirt vibe that was crackling between them while Luke was adjusting his tie. 

Dominique informs Blake that she found Rashid Ahmed in Turkey, and he's like, "Great!" and orders her to fly there asap and somehow get him to confess to double-crossing him on the South China Sea deal so he can be all, "A-ha!" and hope it results in something positive happening for Denver Carrington. 

Blake tracks down Adam in the mansion's workout room and tells him he wants him to accompany Dominique to Turkey 'cause he doesn't trust her and needs someone to keep an eye on her...and Adam's all, "Fuuuuuuuuck...why does it have to be me?" That's the spirit.

Dominique is dining at the La Mirage with Blake and Krystle when they notice Alexis and Amanda enter the restaurant. Amanda approaches their table and introduces herself, and wanks Blake about what a devilishly handsome silver fox he is. She informs everyone that she's officially changing her name to Amanda Carrington...and Blake's all, "But won't that be confusing?" (very funny, show), then says he figured she'd be a lot younger. When he asks her how old she is, Alexis interjects by snapping, "It's rude to ask a woman her age" and pulls Amanda away from the table and steers her out of the restaurant. Blake stares after them with a contemplative expression on his face.

Blake calls Rosalind Bedford and peppers her with questions about who Alexis was doinking around the time she got pregnant with Amanda - but Rosalind says that Alexis deserves her privacy and declines to reveal anything. A few seconds later, Krystle ambles into the study looking pensively disgruntled, and a contrite looking Blake says he doesn't want to quarrel anymore about refusing to reinstate her in his company. Krystle explains that she mostly wants to come back to Denver Carrington so they don't start drifting apart, but Blake just shrugs and urges her to think about the new life she's about to bring into the world...and to please shut up about her career aspirations.

Amanda is having breakfast at the penthouse when Dex breezes in and shoots her a stink-eyed glare mixed with raw desire. She asks him whassup with all the sexy hostility, so he comes right out and accuses her of sponging off of Alexis...then sourly says she fits right in with her brothers, who always expect "mummy" to solve their problems. Amanda retorts, "Mummy is our problem...maybe she's yours too" and makes it clear she's in Denver to stay, and that if he makes Alexis choose between them, he'll lose.

"You're a spoiled, self centered brat who's content to live off of her rich mummy."

"You're secretly hot for me, aren't you?"

Jeff is approached at the La Mirage tennis courts by a woman who introduces herself as Nicole Simpson. She compliments his forehand and asks if she can play him some time, and the two agree to get together on the courts tomorrow morning. The two sit down and exchange chitchat - her husband recently died - and he perks up at her newly single status and invites her to have dinner with him tonight. 

Later, Nicole stares at a photo of Peter De Vilbis and sadly says, "You died too soon", then leaves her room to meet up with Jeff for dinner. 

Steven and Claudia are about to go out for dinner when Luke Fuller calls to inform Steven that there's been an oil spill in Santa Barbara that requires an immediate press release - which, in turn, requires Steven to go to the office so that he can personally sign off on it. I wonder why Luke can't just refer the signing off of these type of things to his boss, the PR director. Steven says he'll be there soon, then tells Claudia he has an emergency press release to attend to...and she gets angry and storms into the bathroom.

Claudia is sitting at the La Mirage bar, staring glumly into space, when a good looking man seats himself beside her and introduces himself as Dean Caldwell. He explains that he owns an art gallery and that they met at a charity ball last year. He then jokes about how miserable she looks and invites her to join him for dinner, and she's like, "Sure, why the hell not?"

Blake spots Amanda shopping in downtown Denver and asks his driver to pull over. He leaps out of his car and offers to help her with her packages, then tries to get the skinny on her father. She tells him she has no idea who he is, and repeats Alexis' nonsense about being fathered by a nameless ski instructor in Switzerland. When she reveals that she's twenty-one years old, Blake scrunches his wrinkly face in confused contemplation.

Blake marches over to the penthouse and snarls, "There was no ski instructor!" and points out to Alexis that the math doesn't support that lie. Alexis says she's furious that he spoke to Amanda without her consent and says she has nothing to do with him - but Blake says he's pretty sure that Amanda's his daughter [or, at the very least, Roger Grimes' daughter] and that he's determined to get confirmation of her paternity. As he storms off, Alexis cries, "You'll never prove it! Never!" and shakes her head dramatically from side to side. 

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