BH90210 - Episode 2
Recap: Jennie Garth is having a nightmare about being back on the West Beverly Hills High set, playing Kelly Taylor. She runs past David Silver, who's blathering at the student body from the DJ booth, just as someone yells, "Kelly's dead!" ... and she wakes up in a cold sweat. In the next scene, Jennie is in the kitchen with her blonde daughter Kyler, telling her how freaked out she is by the notion of possibly rebooting a show that was sooo traumatizing to be on for ten seasons. Kyler rolls her eyes and points out that a) no one held a gun to her head and forced her to remain a cast member through the wretched episodes that compromised Seasons 5-10, and b) it can't have been that traumatic to be on a show that earned her zillions of dollars. Jennie argues that it was traumatic, and disputes that her earnings were in the zillions. Kyler's all, "Whatevs. It still sounds fun" then casually mentions that she has an audition later. Jennie's all, "Wha-a-a?" and reminds her about the 'no auditions' rule as long as she's a minor, but Kyler's like, "Whatevs. I'm still auditioning" ... and after she heads off to school, Jennie sifts through her mail and sees that her soon-to-be ex-husband has mailed her a petition for divorce.
Tori and Jennie are at Fox headquarters to pitch their superfluous 90210 reboot idea to two 90210-friendly executives. Tori plays the footage of her manic self during the previous episode when she shattered the glass enclosure so she could make off with the poofy red dress and tells the executives that while it wasn't her finest [or even a barely amusing] moment, she figured 'why not live-stream this contrived meltdown on Instagram?' and somehow attracted five million views in twenty-four hours, which she translates to mean that even the casual-est of Beverly Hills, 90210 viewers would probably be into seeing the cast together again on a [please let it be a limited] new series. The executives gush about how much they loooooove this idea and ask if the rest of the cast is on board...then assume that they all must be, 'cause why else would Tori and Jennie be at Fox headquarters, wasting their time pitching this nonsense. After Tori and Jennie stare bewilderedly into space for a few seconds, Tori promises to bring the entire cast into Fox for a meeting asap so they can flesh out the details.
The 90210 gang arrives at the courthouse to face the music for fleeing Vegas with the stolen red dress. They mug for fans on the way in - except for Gabrielle, who flashes everyone the middle finger. My sentiments exactly.
Inside the courtroom, the judge reads out the charges against them: larceny, destruction of property, public drunkenness, and public urination. Not sure who committed that last thing, but Jennie glares over at Jason Priestly and says she's pretty comfortable assuming he was the urinator. The judge tells them they should all be ashamed of their buffoonish behavior during the previous episode...but, that said, she's A-OK with taking the advice of the DA to drop all the charges. Tori springs up from her chair, chirps, "I object!", and insists that she acted alone and doesn't want anyone else to have to pay the price for her idiocy. The judge tells her to save her confession for the pending civil case, then explains that the owner of the poofy red dress (who's a creepy chubbo currently present in the courtoom and leering at Tori) is seeking 100K in damages and wants the dress returned unlaundered. She then sentences the 90210 gang to fifty hours of community service, which is nonsensical given that she had just declared she was dropping the charges, and Gabrielle snaps, "Thanks, Tori" as everyone grumpily exits the courtroom. In the courthouse lobby, Tori tells everyone she'd really like to make it up to them...and by make it up to them, she means she wants them to all agree to appear in a 90210 reboot. After staring at her incredulously for a few seconds, they burst out laughing 'cause they figure surely she's gotta be shittin' them, and the da na na na, da na na na, cha cha opening credits start to roll.
After the commercial break, Tori tells everyone that Fox has a serious interest in airing a 90210 reboot, which could translate to some serious cash for each of them...and when no one responds, she begs, "Pleeeeeease. I neeeed this." Jason nixes the idea and says he has zero desire to put on his old Peach Pit uniform, Gabrielle derisively says she's simply not interested in resurrecting the on-screen horrendousness that was Ahn-drea Zuckerman, and Ian says he's too busy trying to get proof that his wife has been sleeping around so he can extricate himself from paying her half his earnings when he springs a divorce on her. As everyone exits the building, Jennie shrugs and tells Tori it was always a long shot...and Tori dejectedly stares into space.
At home, Tori is sitting in front of a dollhouse model of the Peach Pit, using little doll versions of each cast member to strategize about how she's going to convince everyone to agree to the reboot. Not sure why she needs the visual of a dollhouse to do this, but OK. When Nate tells her how crazy he thinks the whole reboot idea is, she tells him she's mostly doing it to generate some much needed cash, not least 'cause she's just been sued for 100K. Nate shakes his head skeptically, refrains from offering to pitch in with paying the overdue bills by getting a damn job, and tells her she'll never be able to pull off a 90210 reboot.
Camille tells Jason she's thrilled that her pregnancy is giving her license to eat carbs - just as she gets a text from a guy who's lurking around outside. When she discreetly steps outside to confront him, he tells her he wants to make full use of her showbiz connections in exchange for continuing to keep her secret on the down-low...and I'm pretty sure we can assume that the "secret" is that it's not Jason's bun that's currently in her oven. Yawn.
Kyler tells Jennie she auditioned for the part of a drunk cheerleader and got the role, and Jennie's all, "Excuse me?" and grounds her for defying her 'no auditions' rule.
Brian is auditioning for a drama/comedy (he's not sure which) and is instantly given the part - but soon learns he only got it 'cause his wife promised the producers she'd provide her Grammy award winning music to play during the end credits of the film.
Tori tells Jennie she's getting frustrated that no one is returning her calls about the reboot. As Jennie watches her bustle around the kitchen, cooking and doing her usual mom multi-tasking, she gushes about her friend's amazing ability to take care of her insanely large brood of small children. Tori mulls that over for a few seconds, then looks as though she just got a brilliant idea and tells Jennie she knows exactly how she's going to get everyone to agree to do the show.
In the next scene, Tori meets up with Jason at a restaurant and promises that if he signs on, she'll talk to the network about letting him direct this sure-to-be spectacle. Jason perks up at that and looks intrigued.
Jason drops by Gabrielle's place to ask if she can please do something that will convince the Actor's Guild to let him resume his director jobs. Gabrielle tells him that while she's not willing to pull strings, she'll set up a mediation between him and the young actor he punched and hope something good comes of it. She then starts gabbling about how hard it sucks "being caught in the middle", and Jason assumes she's referring to his boning of Jennie in Vegas and sheepishly refers to it as "a drunken mistake". Gabrielle does her best to unhear that disturbing nugget and confesses to kissing a woman in Vegas and possibly enjoying it - but is bummed that, for obvious reasons, she can't discuss her sudden lesbian urges with her husband.
Shay is in a practice session with her backup dancers when Brian bursts in and demands to know if she pulled strings with the movie producer he just auditioned for in exchange for the rights to play her music during the end credits. She's like, "Well, d'yuh" and says she didn't think it was that big of a deal, then throws him a bone about how "talented and sexy" he is. Brian grumbles about feeling like a chump who needs his famous wife's help...and from a distance we see that the sad lonely boy (SLB) who had showed up at Brian's house at the end of the previous episode is lurking nearby, filming their argument with his phone. In the next scene, SLB stares at his bulletin board, which looks to be dedicated to chronicling everything Brian has been up to lately. This kid must really have a lot of time on his hands.
Jason dons a superhero outfit to film a fight scene with the young actor he punched in the face. After the director yells, "Cut!", the young actor kicks Jason in the balls...and as he lays writhing on the floor, Gabrielle rushes over to soothe his nuts with an ice pack. The nut cracking somehow prompts Jason to get on board with the 90210 reboot, and he calls Tori to give her the happy news. She then seats herself in front of her Peach Pit dollhouse and grins stupidly at the Brandon doll.
While strolling in the park together, Gabrielle tells Tori she could get into the idea of a 90210 reboot if the producers would be willing to push the envelop...and by push the envelop, she'd like it if she could use Ahn-drea as a vicarious means of exploring her sexuality. Tori blurts out, "Gay?!", then says she looooves the idea.
Over lunch, Ian tells Tori he managed to capture video footage of his wife cheating on him with various men...and since she broke the rules of their prenup, he's open to being in the reboot - but with one condition: he wants a lot of product placement for whatever crap he's peddling these days. Tori's like, "Deal!"
Later, Brian tells Tori he's not doing the movie anymore 'cause of how irked he is about Shay's meddling...and is agreeing to the reboot 'cause of how inspired he is by her (Tori's) relentless insistence on living in the past and reuniting the old gang.
Jennie tells Tori she's no longer agreeing to the reboot on account of she needs to spend her every waking moment keeping Kyler away from auditions and movie/TV sets. Sounds like a reasonable use of her time.
Brian makes a call to his secret best pal...who turns out to be - surprise! - Shannen Doherty...and she's - surprise! - on a California beach untangling a sea lion from some netting. Shannen tells Brian to go easy on Shay 'cause it seems like she was only pulling strings in an effort to kickstart his dormant acting career that everyone figured would peak then swiftly fizzle out once Beverly Hills, 90210 came to a merciful end. Brian thanks her for the much needed perspective, then mentions that Tori's been trying to reach her about the 90210 reboot. Shannen makes an ew face and snarks, "I have no time for that."
Jason drops by Jennie's house to tell her he heard that she dropped out of the reboot, then assumes it's 'cause they hit the sheets in Vegas. Jennie assures him it has nothing to do with him, but rather a desperate attempt to keep her daughter from making an underage foray into acting. Jason argues that she'd be better off supporting her daughter's dreams, then assures her that Kyler is gonna be aw' right 'cause she has the world's greatest mom. Jennie chews on that compliment as she stares contemplatively into space.
Jennie tells Tori she's back on for the reboot - but only if the producers would be willing to hire Kyler in a recurring role so she can keep her eye on her on set. The two then meet up with the rest of the 90210 gang to work off a few hours of their court-mandated community service, aka don orange city worker vests while they clean up trash in a local park. Tori tells everyone how happy she is that they've all agreed to do the reboot...then announces that she plans to take on the role of executive producer, and is allowing Ian a lot of latitude on product placement. Jason looks irked by that and says that as the show's director he didn't sign off on that...and this prompts a bickerfest between him and Ian. Tori tells them to shut it, and that they can all exploit the reboot to get whatever perks they want, e.g. Jennie getting her daughter cast in a supporting role. Ian's all, "The fuck?" and asks if they didn't all learn their lesson from the horrible nepotism that Aaron Spelling demonstrated by giving his talentless daughter what would inevitably become a major role on Beverly Hills, 90210 for ten seasons. Bwahaha! Gabrielle interjects and says the perk she most wants is for them to undergo group therapy...and everyone's all, "Wuh? Group therapy?" just as the paparazzi arrives and eggs the group on to mug and pose for the cameras.
The entire 90210 gang shows up at Fox for the reboot's first official pitch meeting...along with a surprise announcement from the two executives about the person they've hired as showrunner: Christine Elise (aka Emily Valentine). As Jason shifts uncomfortably in his chair [yes, we know you two hooked up in real life], Christine tells the group how much she loooooved the recent TMZ pics of them performing their community service, and thinks their collective neuroses will make for some awesomely bad TV.
Jennie tells Kyler she doesn't want to stand in the way of her acting dreams, so she arranged for her to get a recurring role on the 90210 reboot so she can hold her hand through the perils of acting on a "hit show" at a tender age.
Gabrielle and her husband are kicking back on the couch, enjoying a glass of wine and gushing about how much they love each other - even after thirty years of marriage. She turns to him and says all serious-like, "I have something to tell you" ... then announces that she's decided to do the 90210 reboot, during which "Ahn-drea" will look to delve into some action of the female-on-female variety. She adds that she wants to tell him why it's so important to her - but we're left hanging when the camera abruptly cuts to the street where Shay and Brian are strolling.
Shay apologizes to Brian for overstepping and hopes he isn't mad at her, and he assures her isn't 'cause he knows she was only trying to help. He then tells her how excited he is about the reboot and figures he's going to need to hire an assistant [no doubt to handle all the fan mail and movie offers that will suddenly be coming his way]. SLB, meanwhile, is watching from a nearby parked car with an inscrutable expression on his face.
Tori excitedly natters to Nate about how everything's coming together regarding the reboot, and that she's super passionate about it and would like his unwavering support as she embarks upon this venture. She stops nattering when she realizes he's been asleep on the couch during the entire scene.
Jason is chillin' in a nice restaurant when he gets a call from his doctor to report that he has fertility issues no one knew he had - but he has to put a pin in that subplot when the newly hired writer for the 90210 reboot comes over to introduce himself.
SLB types up his resume to apply for the job as Brian's assistant...and we see further proof of his derangement after he wanders off and reveals that pics of the 90210 cast members make up his computer wallpaper.
Brian receives a package that contains a David Silver doll, which looks to be a replica of the doll in Tori's Peach Pit dollhouse menagerie. Brian looks bemused when the head suddenly pops off...and the camera pans over to the other cast members, each of whom receives their own doll in various states of dismemberment, splotched with red paint, and (in Jason's case) filled with voodoo pins. They all look suitably perplexed and horrified.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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