Recap: Steve arrives late for morning detention, and the surly teacher - who's no doubt surly 'cause he's been stuck with the shitty task of supervising a roomful of deadbeats - berates him for not being on time. Steve tells him he had car trouble and slips into a vacant seat, which happens to be in front of a fellow detentioner by the name of Joe Wardlow. Joe leans forward and derisively asks, "Couldn't decide which one to drive?" The surly teacher snaps at Joe to shut up, then barks at him to do some homework or at least find something to read for the next hour. Joe pulls a rolled up magazine from his coat pocket, then leans forward again and taunts Steve about the shit-tastic show, The Hartley House, and mockingly describes Samantha Sanders as "one of the truly great actresses of our time". Haha! Steve gets pissed off, calls Joe a bonehead, and snarls at him to clam up. Joe continues to torment Steve by describing a Hartley House re-run he recently watched: Samantha throws a dinner party and little Chuckie steals a brownie from the dessert tray. But Chuckie doesn't want to get caught with the brownie, so he puts it on a chair and one of the dinner guests unwittingly sits on it. Joe then grins devilishly and chomps into a brownie. Steve puts two and two together and jumps out of his chair...and sure enough he has frosting and brownie goo all over his pants. He gets enraged and grabs Joe by the collar, but the surly teacher warns him not to take it any further. Steve reluctantly lets go of Joe, who stares back at him with a mixture of smugness and indifference.
Later that morning, Ahn-drea tells Brandon about the major breakthrough she had in her latest hypnotherapy session. Brandon's surprised to learn she's undergoing hypnotherapy and jokingly asks her if she's going all "new age" on them. His mockery annoys Ahn-drea, and she informs him that this treatment could be the only hope she has of remembering any details about the hit and run driver who mowed her down five episodes ago. She tells him that through her hypnotherapy she was able to remember that the car had had stars dangling from the rear-view mirror.
DJ booth. Donna's hanging in the DJ booth, keeping David company as he tries to play radio host and study at the same time. His schedule this semester is overloaded with physics, chemistry, and biology. Apparently, taking a bunch of science classes all at once will somehow make it possible for him to graduate an entire year earlier so he can attend California University in the fall with the rest of the cast members. While David is buried in one of his books, Donna takes it upon herself to queue the next CD. David is stunned that she's capable of inserting a CD into the machine, and asks her how she acquired this skill. She tells him she learned just by watching him...and David suddenly looks contemplative.
Dylan is whining to Brandon about being forced to choose between Brenda and Kelly, but Brandon doesn't understand what could be bad about having two cute girls vying for his affection. The two stroll over to Dylan's locker, and Brandon alerts him that Brenda and Kelly are down the hall and that they're both staring hungrily in his direction. Dylan darts behind the door of his locker and complains about how trapped he feels. He quickly gathers his books, shuts his locker, and scurries toward the nearest exit. Brandon races after him and when they reach the safety of the outdoor quad, he laughingly suggests that maybe the girls will agree to a "time-share" agreement. Ew. This doesn't amuse Dylan and he tells Brandon that he doesn't respond well to ultimatums.
Steve and Joe Wardlow have just been ejected from the principal's office. Joe laughs it off and jokes about how cute Mrs. Teasley looks when she's mad. Steve angrily retorts that he's desperately trying to graduate this year and orders Joe to leave him alone. After Joe saunters off, Brandon tells Steve it's nice to see him making friends in detention, and Dylan remarks that Joe Wardlow spends so much time in detention that he practically gets his mail there. Steve whines that he's only a first time offender, and therefore shouldn't have to sit in detention with "lifers" like Joe...and he's very worried he's not going to last until the end of the school year. Dylan advises him to pace himself and take it one day at a time.
The Walsh house. Brandon comes down the stairs and catches the tail-end of a telephone conversation between Papa Walsh and one of his clients. When Papa Walsh finishes the call, he rants to Brandon about how his client is suddenly interested in risky "get rich" schemes. Brandon grins and says he likes the sound of getting rich quick, and so Papa Walsh lectures him about how the country is waking up to the reality of fast money, and declares that the party's over.
Meanwhile, Brenda and Kelly are hanging in the kitchen with Mama Walsh. They're discussing Dylan and how he's been dodging them lately. Mama Walsh frowns and says that that doesn't sound like Dylan (actually it sort of does), and Kelly admits that it's not a pretty picture. Big understatement there. Brenda tells her mom that if things were up to Dylan, he'd date them both and just rotate them on different days. It then finally dawns on Kelly that maybe giving Dylan an ultimatum that forces him to choose between them wasn't such a good idea, since it's given him all the power. Mama Walsh delicately asks what will happen to their friendship when Dylan makes up his mind and chooses one of them, and Brenda soberly answers, "We don't know." Mama Walsh looks slightly troubled by this and offers a possible solution to the Dylan Drama. She tells them about a tennis friend of hers who has a son who goes to Princeton, and this son has a pal who also goes to Princeton. Just recently, these two college hunks were interesting in having a fun night out on the town, and Mama Walsh thinks it would be the perfect opportunity for Brenda and Kelly to go out, have fun, and temporarily forget that they both want to hook up with the same guy.
West Beverly High. In the DJ booth, David is attempting to train Donna how to be a radio host...but she just sits stock-still with a terrified look on her face.
In the hall, Kelly tells Brenda that she's never been very good at double dating, and isn't at all fond of blind dating. Brenda tells her to keep in mind that these guys are Ivy Leaguers. From the DJ booth, David introduces Donna to his listeners as his temporary replacement, and so Donna attempts to banter, but she's so nervous that she literally can't remember her own name or where she is. David tells her to pretend that it's just the two of them having a conversation, so Donna takes another crack at it and announces that she's temporarily taking over for David, who needs a break from his duties in the DJ booth so he can focus on his studies. She then happens to notice her reflection on the back of a CD and starts chattering inanely about how her makeup always seems to disappear as soon as she arrives at school. David stares at her, aghast, then abruptly ends the bit and puts on a song. Donna is strangely oblivious to David's displeasure and looks quite impressed with herself. She tells him that talking on the air is "such a rush". David starts to admonish her for doing such a stupid, unrehearsed bit...but at that moment Brenda and Kelly knock on the glass window and give her a thumbs up. Donna smiles back with smug satisfaction, so David has little choice but to half-heartedly assure her that it's possible she'll maybe improve.
Steve approaches his Corvette and finds that a dozen eggs have been placed atop the roof. He looks perplexed, but when he opens his car, he finds it filled with live chickens. He forces the poor creatures out of his Corvette and bellows to Joe Wardlow, ordering him to show himself. Joe appears from behind a nearby car, mockingly tells Steve that the prank was inspired by The Hartley House episode entitled titled "The Chicken and the Egg". A furious Steve begins chasing him around the parking lot and tells him to stay away from his fancy car. Joe stops laughing long enough to apologize to Steve for messing with his Corvette and offers to help him clean out the chicken shit. The two walk over to Joe's car to get some cleaning stuff out of the trunk. Steve is impressed with it, momentarily forgets that he's pissed off, and asks Joe how fast it can go. Joe answers by asking him what he's doing later.
Steve and Brandon drive over to an industrial area of town to meet up with Joe and a bunch of other guys. Brandon is confused why they're meeting Joe, who's supposed to be enemy #1. Joe notices that Steve has arrived and comes running over to greet him, and promptly asks him to loan him a hundred dollars...but Steve gets all bitchy about it and refuses. Brandon then realizes that they've stumbled upon a drag race that's just about to begin, and that there's fast money to be won. Joe begs Steve to put up the cash, explaining that he's short 'cause somebody stiffed him...and promises to pay him right back. Brandon thinks that betting on a drag race is an excellent idea and offers to put up forty dollars and convinces Steve to pony up the rest. Joe snatches the money, dashes toward his yellow car, and yells to everyone that the race is officially on. He climbs into the driver's seat, puts on a helmet, and gets ready to race some guy in a red car. It's a short race, which Joe easily wins. Steve and Brandon excitedly yell, "Cha ching!" They're thrilled about the unexpected quick cash they just made and are now totally stoked about drag racing.
The Peach Pit. Brenda and Kelly are sitting at the counter when Donna enters the diner and joins them. She asks them how long things are going to go on this way, meaning with the two of them sitting at one end of the diner while Dylan sits on the other. Brenda and Kelly pretend to be totally indifferent to Dylan's presence, and Kelly suddenly remarks to Brenda that maybe they should go on the double date with the two Princeton guys after all, and Brenda is definitely into the idea and gives Kelly a big grin. Ahn-drea joins their group and congratulates Donna for her new stint as the school's replacement DJ, and a few seconds later David unexpectedly drops by the diner so he can share some of his ideas with Donna about their morning radio show. It doesn't seem as though he's using much of his freed up time to study. Brenda and Kelly then decide to head out, and when they reach the door, they stare over at Dylan...but he's deeply engrossed in a conversation with Steve, and so their pathetic looks of longing go completely unnoticed.
Ahn-drea glances across the diner and nosily asks Brandon what Dylan and Steve are plotting, but he tells her he's sworn to secrecy. Dylan warns Steve that Joe Wardlow is most likely scamming him, and suspects that the car races are being carefully orchestrated in order to get Steve sucked into giving more and more money while the stakes get higher and higher. Brandon doesn't want to believe Dylan's dire warnings, but Steve thinks maybe they should back out. Ahn-drea, meanwhile, has sneaked across the diner to stand behind their table so she can eavesdrop on their conversation, as she is often prone to do. When she realizes that they're talking about illegal car racing, she immediately gives the three a haughty lecture about how she was almost killed by a drag racer. She admonishes them for having anything to do with car racing and prattles on and on about how much she's suffered since her accident. Dylan ignores her self righteous bitching and strongly advises Brandon and Steve to stay away from Joe Wardlow and not place any more car racing bets.
West Beverly High. Steve is already in detention when Joe enters the room. He says hi to Steve and asks him how he liked the race, and Steve murmurs that it was pretty cool. Joe tells Steve about another race he'd like him to shell out more money for, and Steve snidely tells him to go to a bank and that he's not a sucker. Joe shrugs and tries to look indifferent when he says he'll just find someone else to pony up the cash.
Donna is in the DJ booth, rambling nonsensically into the mic about a recent shopping trip. The captive listeners in the halls seem reasonably entertained, but David is less than impressed. When she finishes the silly bit, he rebukes her for doing a routine they hadn't rehearsed. She breezily explains that she just thought of it now...but assures him that she'll start playing the stuff that's on his prescribed playlist once the current song is over.
Brenda tells Kelly that she talked to one of the Princeton guys and says that he sounded handsome and veryPrinceton. Kelly is excited about the upcoming date and remarks that she hasn't been out with a guy since - well...since the night she went out with Dylan. Oops, awkward.
Donna bitches at David for hovering over her while she DJs, and points out that the whole reason she agreed to step in was to give him more free time to devote to his studying. And since she now has the hang of DJing, she tells him he doesn't need to monitor her so closely anymore. David derisively tells her that nobody wants to hear her stories about makeup or underwear, but he says this within hearing range of Brenda and Kelly, who insist that they actually like listening to Donna's inane chatter about makeup and underwear. An exasperated David stalks off to study, and Donna seats herself beside Brenda and Kelly. She asks them if they're up for a movie that evening, but Brenda excitedly tells her that she and Kelly have plans.
The Peach Pit. Brandon's in the back room with Steve, and the two are chattering about the next car race. Brandon is excited about all the money he could potentially make from drag racing, but Steve is reluctant to place any more bets. Brandon informs him that Joe is asking for fifteen hundred dollars, and when Steve makes a face, Brandon points out that it could mean a profit of three thousand dollars. Dylan suddenly appears in the doorway and chimes in, "Or zero if Joe takes a dive." Steve announces that the guy Joe is planning to race is Frank Padilla. Dylan, of course, knows the guy and describes him as a thirty year old loser who deals drugs and has spent time in prison. Brandon isn't at all fazed by this and just cares about making some quick cash. Dylan shrugs and says, "Don't say I didn't warn you."
The Walsh house. Brenda and Kelly are dolling themselves up for their double date and are in the final primping stages when the doorbell rings. Kelly tells Brenda she hopes the guys aren't too preppy, which is funny considering the next scene. The two head down the stairs and suddenly freeze when they see the two prepubescent dork boys Mama Walsh has just let into the house. She sheepishly introduces Wayne and Adam to the girls, and the little dorks stare up at Brenda and Kelly in awe. Brenda points out that they don't actually go to Princeton, so one of the dorks explains that they attend Princeton School in Encino. Kelly murmurs Brenda's name in a low voice, so Brenda explains that they thought they would be going out with college guys. The dork boys look bummed by the rejection, but are clearly willing to let the girls off the hook. However, just as Brenda and Kelly turn to flee back upstairs, Mama Walsh interjects and says, "Of course you're going out." Brenda and Kelly stare at each other in horror, and Kelly sarcastically says she can just feeeeel how much fun they're all going to have.
Industrial part of town. It's the night of the big car race, and Joe is pacing around nervously. Brandon tries to sound tough and says that Padilla had better show. Joe assures him he will. Within a few minutes, several cars start to approach. A wussy looking guy exits one of the cars and Brandon asks Joe if he's Padilla...but when an older, (and way hotter) menacing looking guy steps out of his car, Joe informs him that that's Padilla. Mmm...Padilla. He's definitely a scrumptious looking bad boy. Padilla swaggers over to Joe, checks out his yellow car and contemptuously asks him if that's the car he's planning on racing. He then chuckles and jokes about how it must be his birthday and then saunters off.
Arcade. Brenda and Kelly are annoyed that they spent so much time getting dressed up for two pipsqueaks, who are completely ignoring them and playing video games. In an effort to put an end to the failed double date, Brenda and Kelly march over to where Wayne and Adam are playing X-Men and tell the dorks they're very sick...but the dorks are too into their game to respond. Brenda and Kelly quickly give up on any kind of two-way communication with them and walk away. They then decide that as long as they're trapped at the arcade, they should try to enjoy the experience as much as possible and challenge each other to a video game.
Car race. Steve says that betting fifteen hundred dollars on a car race is crazy...though he still thinks Joe has a shot of winning. But Brandon is barely listening because he's too busy staring intently at Padilla's car. When Steve asks him what he's looking at, Brandon tells him about how Ahn-drea remembered that the car that mowed her down had had stars danging from the rear-view mirror. Steve then looks over at Padilla's car and notices the dangling stars. Steve urges Brandon to leave so he can go fetch the cops, along with Ahn-drea so that she can positively identify Padilla. Steve assures him he'll somehow stall the race until the authorities arrive. Brandon hurries off toward his Mustang, while Steve saunters over to Joe and insists that he needs to examine the engine of his car. Joe indulges him.
Kelly and Brenda play arcade games and really get into it. They somehow manage to win several large stuffed animals and then enter a nearby photo booth so they can create a lasting memento of their horrible double date.
Car race. Steve is doing his best to stall the race, and he's now pretending to examine the radiator in Joe's car. Joe is getting annoyed by the delay and tells Steve he's making him look bad in front of Padilla. Steve suddenly declares that he wants to get behind the wheel and race Padilla himself...but Joe doesn't like that idea and insists that no one but him is allowed to drive his car. Steve then refuses to hand over any cash, and Joe warns him not to mess with a bad boy like Padilla. Padilla ambles over to Steve and Joe and asks them how it's going. Steve informs him there's a problem, but Padilla doesn't want to hear about it and brusquely orders Joe to make the race happen. Joe then becomes so angst-ridden that he finally gives in and allows Steve to drive his car in the race.
The Peach Pit. Dylan is sitting alone at a table with his brows furrowed. Donna enters the diner and, uninvited, plops herself down beside him. She starts prattling about wanting his advice about how to handle the problems between her and David regarding the radio show, and rambles on and on about how fun the radio show is, but David doesn't think she's doing well. She finally notices that Dylan doesn't give a rat's ass and is barely listening to her...so she snarks that she now understands why Kelly and Brenda continually get frustrated with him. Dylan politely explains that he's so distracted 'cause he's worried about Brandon and Steve, who've gotten themselves tangled up with a street racing punk. Donna then asks him if he's so worried about them, what's he doing sitting in a diner?
A terrified looking Steve is behind the wheel of Joe's car, pretending to prepare for the race. He and Padilla are making a lot of noise revving their engines and squealing the tires...but otherwise, there's no movement. Joe tries to give Steve some last minute tips for the race, but Steve abruptly gets out of the car. Joe exasperatedly asks, "What now?" and Padilla angrily accuses him of stalling. Suddenly Padilla is no longer interested in a regular street race against Steve, and challenges him and his Corvette to a game of chicken. Steve makes a crack under his breath about Padilla being thirty-ish, but unfortunately Padilla hears him and comes charging at him and puts him in a headlock. He then starts ridiculing Samantha and claims that the only reason she became famous was because she was willing to do the nasty with every television producer in Hollywood. Steve gets enraged and charges toward Padilla and briefly attacks him...then angrily agrees to the chicken challenge. Joe tries to stop him from possibly killing himself, but Steve barks back that he's got something to prove...and playing chicken with a thirty year old hoodlum is the best way to prove it. He strides purposefully toward his Corvette.
Fast food restaurant. Brenda and Kelly are in a daze, wondering how the hell they ended up on such a horrible date with two such dorks. They briefly bring up the topic of Dylan, and Kelly wonders aloud what will happen if they both lose him because of their stupid ultimatum. Brenda jokes that if things don't work out with Dylan for either of them, they can always arrange to come to the arcade every Friday night with Wayne and Adam. But then they stare at each other with serious expressions and vow never to let any guy come between them. If memory serves, they behave the exact opposite of that when Dylan ends up choosing Kelly.
Car race. Steve and Padilla are each revving their engines for a really looong time, and off to the side Joe is nervously wringing his hands. Suddenly, Dylan arrives in his Porsche just as the game of chicken gets underway. Dylan acts fast and pulls his car into the middle of the road, which effectively forces the idiotic game to abruptly end. Padilla screeches to a halt and storms out of his vehicle to yell at Dylan for butting into his bidness - but by this time, the police have arrived and their sirens are blaring. Padilla glares at Steve and angrily accuses him of setting him up. Dylan approaches Steve and tenderly asks him if everything's OK, and a tearful Steve softly moans, "Dylan.." and the two hug. As Padilla is being cuffed by a police officer, Ahn-drea appears on the scene and positively IDs Padilla as the hit and run driver in her accident. She declares in her uppity way that she's never been more sure of anything in her life.
The Peach Pit. Steve, Brandon, Dylan, Ahn-drea and Joe are sitting at a table, recapping their collective brilliance at solving the mystery of the hit and run. Brandon describes how the cops showed instant signs of recognition and distaste when he mentioned Frank Padilla's name to them. Ahn-drea is thrilled that the thug has been hauled off to jail and wants to nail the guy. Take a number, honey. Joe remarks how lucky they all are to have each other, and Steve concurs. Brenda and Kelly enter the diner carrying their stuffed winnings from the arcade, and Wayne and Adam are trailing behind them. Brenda and Kelly introduce the dorky pipsqueaks to the gang...and everyone tries not to laugh too hard when they find out that they're students of Princeton School in Encino...not Princeton University. Brenda and Kelly then wander off toward the jukebox, and Dylan attempts to look serious when he asks Wayne and Adam how the double date went. Still not realizing that they're the butt of a joke, the two say the evening went great and then gush over the hotness of Brenda and Kelly. This, of course, prompts a lot more laughter from everyone.
West Beverly High. Inside the DJ booth, Donna is rapping into the mic, and she sounds completely ridic. She tells her listeners that it's been fun DJing for them, but she's sure that everyone's missed David. I highly doubt that. Suddenly, David appears in the DJ booth with a pile of books. He's clearly warmed to the idea of her in front of the mic and tells her he doesn't want her to give up the DJ gig...and proposes that they become a team. She happily agrees.
Brandon, Dylan, and Steve are strolling down the hall together, chatting jovially amongst each other. When Dylan stops at his locker, he catches sight of Brenda and Kelly staring hungrily at him...again. He also notices that there's a strip of photo booth photos of the two of them taped to his locker. He looks over at them again, and then slouchily ambles in their direction. As he's doing that, Brenda and Kelly each strike a sexy pose...and the episode abruptly ends. Weird.
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