Recap: Lauren is about to leave for a family trip to Italy...and is packing her suitcase as she chats with Audrina and Lo, who tell her they have plans to bond while she's away. The two then walk Lauren to her car, hug her goodbye, and stare after her car as she drives off. After the opening credits, Stephanie stops by the house to report to Audrina that Doug asked her out to dinner...and is seeking her opinion on what she should do next. Audrina strongly advises her to wait until Lauren returns from her vacay so she can get the Queen Bee's official approval, to which Stephanie idiotically responds, "How would she find out?" Audrina somehow refrains from pointing at the MTV camera crew that's filming this conversation and reminding her that soon it's going to be on television for all to see and instead manages to keep a straight face as she says, "I dunno. Just be careful." Over at Bolthouse, Heidi sits in Kimberly's cubicle and pretends to go over some work-related stuff with her about an upcoming skate park event. Heidi says she'd looooove to attend and bring Spencer along, explaining that they've gotten into a rut of never going out anymore. Kimberly says she really really enjoys going out, adding, "I'm not really into the whole 'staying in thing'. At all", which prompts a rueful chuckle out of Heidi. Over lunch at Fred Segal, Lo asks Audrina whassup with her and Justin, so Audrina tells her he kinda/sorta half-heartedly apologized for not showing up at the White Tie Affair concert - but was mostly just 'whatever' about the whole thing. She changes the subject and suggests they party at Goa tonight, then dishes about Doug asking Stephanie out to dinner. Lo stares back at her looking visibly discombobulated by that disturbing morsel, and Audrina primly pronounces that going out with your friend's ex is "the biggest no no", then wonders aloud, "Why would you want sloppy seconds?" That evening at Goa, Audrina and Lo spot the [no doubt non-coincidental] arrival of Heidi and Spencer, who wander over to their table to say hey. Audrina greets Heidi with a hug and then the two reminisce about what great pals they were in Season 1, while Lo glances around the club looking less than thrilled at being in the presence of her absent BFF's archenemies. Audrina dishes to Heidi that Doug asked Stephanie out, and Heidi scrunches her face in a weirded out expression and squeals, "That's just psycho to me!" and explains that back in the day among the Conrad clan, Doug was known as Lauren's Doug. Heidi says she's of the strong opinion that Stephanie could/should date someone who's not so closely connected to Lauren, then tells Audrina that Bolthouse is throwing an X Games party tomorrow night and that she and Justin are invited. The next morning, Stephanie drops by Casa Pratt/Montag to needlessly tell Spencer that Doug asked her out to dinner, and he reacts by cackling about how freaked out Lauren's going to be when she finds out. He calls the contrived situation "a small twisted little world", then smugly asks his sister if she isn't concerned about Lauren clipping her from her Hills posse. X Games party! Audrina arrives with Justin in tow and the two seat themselves next to Heidi and Spencer. Audrina once again brings up the topic du jour: Stephanie possibly dining out with Doug, adding that she thinks Stephanie is very mixed up. Heidi's like, "Praise Jesus!" that she's totally un-involved in this potential conflict with Lauren, then agrees with Audrina that it's nice to finally let bygones be bygones, and that hopefully the two of them will start hanging out again (sans Lauren's approval). Stephanie arrives at Beso, where Doug is seated at a table for two. They hug hello and chat about how neither of them told Brody or Lauren about their clandestine dinner date...but leave out the fact that Stephanie let the cat out of the bag to Audrina, who's been blabbing about it all over town. Doug saucily asks Stephanie what she's doing after this, and she just stares back at him in coquettish muteness - just as Linda Thompson (aka Brody's mom) wanders over. Stephanie greets her with a warm hug as Doug introduces himself...and when Linda Thompson blurts out, "Are you two on a date?" then laughs at her own brashness, they chucklingly stammer a denial that they're on anything resembling a date. Once Linda Thompson is safely out of earshot, Stephanie tells Doug that Brody's mom catching them at a restaurant together is "not good". The next day at Epic Records, Audrina updates Chiara (her friend and hapless sounding board) on the following..
Chiara tut tuts that last thing, pointing out that there are plenty of guys [Lauren didn't cast aside due to complete disinterest] Stephanie can go out with. Audrina concurs and says it's craaaaazy that all of this is happening while Lauren is out of the country. And speaking of Lauren being out of the country... Lauren returns home from Italy two days early 'cause she got tired of the randy Italian menfolk whistling at her everywhere she went. She asks, "What did I miss?", so Lauren and Lo fill her in about their eventful night at Goa. Lo demonstrates exactly how close she and Audrina were sitting to Heidi/Spencer and says it was very uncomfortable, while Audrina awkwardly reveals that, just a day later, she and Justin met up with Heidi and Spencer at an X Games party, nervously exclaiming, "Surprise!" As Lauren looks less than thrilled by that traitorous development, she asks what else they've been fixating on this episode, so Audrina drops the bomb that Stephanie dropped by the house, seeking advice on whether or not she should dine out with Doug. As Lauren scrunches her face perplexedly at that potential coupling, Lo shares her theory that Doug is trying to make her jealous, and then Audrina hastily adds that she strongly urged Stephanie not to "go there". Lauren and Brody arrive at the Loteria Grill to further discuss the audacity of Doug and Stephanie dining out together. Brody dickishly tells Lauren he couldn't wait to see her face as he smugly says, "I told you so", then shares that Doug referred to the date as a business dinner, and also recounts how his mom called him to gossip about running into Stephanie and Doug while they were eating at Beso. He asks Lauren if she's pissed off about any of this, and Lauren pretends she suddenly gives a rat's ass about who Doug dines out with and flatly says she is. Brody natters on about how Stephanie went behind her back to hang with Doug...and when Lauren asks him if he thinks Doug did anything wrong, he just shrugs and minsogynstically retorts, "Guys will be guys - but Stephanie is supposed to be one of your best friends." He adds that he doesn't want to see her get hurt, and is therefore sticking to his long-standing opinion that Stephanie is one shady twit. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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THE HILLS HOMEPAGESeason 1 Recapper: Isabel K. French
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