The Hills - Season 3, Episode 19

"Salut à Paris!"

"Paris Changes Everything"
Original airdate: 3/17/2008

Episode summary: Lauren and Whitney spend a week carrying out trivial tasks for the Crillon Ball in Paris. Spencer surprises Heidi during a family visit in Crested Butte, but she tells him she needs space and quickly sends him packing.

---

Recap: Lauren and Whitney arrive in Paris and are promptly greeted by a hot local named Stephane, who ends up being their personal driver for the week. As the gals climb into their limo, Stephane hands them an itinerary that specifies various tasks in the order in which they're to be completed...and when Lauren and Whitney decide to bypass the order and pick up their ballgowns first - as opposed to retrieving the shoes needed for a photoshoot first thing in the morning - Stephane scrunches his handsome face concernedly.

Across the pond in Crested Butte (Colorado), Heidi [whose lips are looking noticeably poutier than before the hiatus] is enjoying a day of downhill skiing with her mom, Darlene. The two enter a cafe and order some hot cocoa, and Heidi says she's been thinking a lot about her relationship with Spencer...and Darlene strongly suggests she think less about that Chucky doll lookalike and more about how she can improve herself and determine what she wants out of life. 

"I recommend that you spend a lot of time on self improvement."

"Duh. Why do you think I got my lips plumped?"

Lauren and Whitney arrive at Alberta Ferretti to pick up their ballgowns, then rush back to the limo and ask Stephane to help them cross item #1 off their list: pick up the shoes for the photoshoot from a store named Collette. They get slightly panicked when the store is already closed by the time they get there, then make a plan to return first thing in the morning. Whitney says, in hindsight, they probably should have gotten the shoes first - but figured that since they literally just got off the plane and are spending the week in Paris to function more as reality stars than Teen Vogue staff, someone actually employed by the magazine would, no doubt, have retrieved the shoes prior to now if the errand was truly that important.

Stephanie stops by Spencer's apartment, which is in a terrible state of disarray now that Heidi's not around to do the house cleaning. Stephanie's all, "Wuh?" when she learns that Heidi left town to visit her family in Colorado, and tells Spencer that this development wouldn't be such a bad sign for him if Heidi's parents didn't regard him as a moronic halfwit. Spencer mulls over the idea of jetting to Crested Butte to woo his beloved back to L.A. - but Stephanie advises him to do the opposite of what his generally horrible instincts are currently telling him to do.

The next morning - at Le Grand Hotel in Paris (!) - Lauren and Whitney look over their itinerary/to do list and agree to instruct Stephane to get them to Collette asap to pick up the shoes, and then hightail it over to the Crillon Hotel for the photoshoot.  

Spencer lands in Crested Butte, rents an SUV, and arrives at Casa Egelhoff, much to the visible dismay of Heidi's step-dad, Tim. He's all, "What the heck?" and tells Spencer he could/should have phoned prior to showing up announced, so Spencer explains that Heidi isn't taking his calls right now. Tim says he's mildly OK with him being part of the picture, as long as he fully grasps that, within the Egelhoff orbit, Heidi is always going to be their priority. When Spencer reacts to that by just staring mutely into space, Tim sighs and says he supposes it'd be OK for him to wait inside the house until Heidi and Darlene return from their ski day.

"I'm very dismayed."

"And I'm being very 'dissed."

Lauren and Whitney arrive at the Crillon Hotel, deliver the Collette shoes...and then check in with Kimball, who assigns Lauren to help out in the hair and makeup area, while Whitney is to jot down any interesting quotes and anecdotes about the models/debutantes. Whitney makes kind of a yeech face at that task, while Lauren slips away to call Audrina to see whassup in L.A. ... and learns that Brody was spotted at Les Deux with a woman he's telling everyone is his girlfriend. Lauren reports this "troubling" development to Whitney, who can't seem to keep herself from openly chuckling about how it took a mere two days for Brody to move on from their pretend romance...then hastily points out to Lauren that Paris is full of guys who are très cooler than Brody.

"Brody's steppin' out on me with an unidentified gal."

"I probably shouldn't be as amused by that as I appear to be."

Under the watchful glare of Tim's disdain, Spencer is fiddling with his phone when Heidi and her mom finally return home from skiing...and Heidi pretends to be shocked to see him [and the MTV camera crew] camped out in her living room. As Spencer hands Heidi a bouquet of roses, she asks him what the hell he's doing here, and makes it clear that she's not at all happy about this unexpected pop-in.

Lauren and Whitney meet up at a club with a French rock band they apparently met (off camera) in L.A. The guitarist (Matthias) tells his bandmates on the down low that he thinks Lauren is cute...then asks Lauren, who's sitting across the table, if she's seen the Eiffel Tower yet. She says she hasn't, so he suggests they grab a bottle of champagne and head over there now...and a few minutes later, Lauren, Whitney and the French band are all standing under the iconic landmark, toasting it with a loud, "Cheers!"

The next day at Le Grand Hotel, Matthias calls Lauren to invite her and Whitney out to a fancy club called Neo that evening. Lauren mulls over the wardrobe she brought to Paris, and realizes that - for some unearthly reason - she mostly just brought pencil skirts in lieu of something appropriate for a formal night out on the town. Whitney laughingly points out that they always have their ballgowns, and Lauren contemplatively stares over at her ballgown and says she knows of a foolproof way to shorten the skirt by sewing a running stitch along the hemline. Whitney reminds her that she has to wear this gown to the Crillon Ball tomorrow and makes it clear that she thinks this is a very bad idea - but Lauren breezily assures her it'll be fine [which we can all assume means a problem is in store].

Heidi and her parents are dining at Timberline restaurant, and Spencer's presence is making for a tension-filled meal. Heidi raises her glass for a toast, and makes it a point to limit her praise to her loving and supportive parents...while Spencer sits across from her at the table, grinning like an idiot. Heidi asks her mom to reiterate what she was saying earlier in the episode about respecting a person's space, so Darlene tells Spencer that Heidi wants to work on some [desperately needed] self-improvement and is hoping he's not averse to giving her some breathing room. Spencer says he's A-OK with whatever Heidi needs, apologizes for showing up in Crested Butte unannounced, and assures the Egelhoffs that he fully intends to treat Heidi with the respect she deserves...all while Tim is staring over at him with a look of unveiled scorn. LOL.

Lauren and Whitney arrive at Neo and once again meet up with the French band. An escort for the Crillon Ball debutantes (Edoardo) decides he too wants to be featured on The Hills Goes to Paris...and when he arrives at the club, he chit-chats at length with Lauren, much to the irritation of Matthias. After glaring at Edoardo for several minutes, Matthias asks Lauren if this dork is her new best friend, but she emphatically says, "Nope, I'm single" ... then says she's very sad to have to leave Paris without having had a chance to see very much of the city. As the evening comes to a close, Edoardo hugs and kisses Lauren goodbye...and Matthias pouts and glares at him some more before running out of the club after Lauren to make hasty plans for one last rendezvous tomorrow night.

"This is Edoardo, who seems really intent on making it into a scene of this American reality show."

"Sacré bleu!"

Back at Le Grand Hotel, Whitney remarks on the general weirdness of Edoardo, then laments the lack of styling she was allowed to do at today's photoshoot. Lauren, meanwhile, is busily removing the running stitch from her ballgown when she notices unsightly brown stains all over the fabric. She's all 'the fuck?!' and insists that the stains weren't there last night...and upon further investigation realizes that it was her hot curling iron that burned various parts of the dress. Whitney retrieves the business card she got from the sales guy at Alberta Ferretti and calls him to inquire about getting a replacement ballgown for one that has an unspecified stain on it...and when he's seemingly dickish about how this isn't his problem, Whitney diplomatically replies that she'd appreciate it greatly if he could just be a damn mensch and help them out. He tells her he just happens to have a spare ballgown in Lauren's size laying around - but that she must come by the store pronto...or she can attend the Crillon Ball dressed in her stained rag of a ruined dress for all he cares. 

While en route to Alberta Ferretti, a sheepish Lauren implores Whitney not to mention this mishap to the ever-uptight Kimball. When Stephane pulls up to the store, Lauren jumps out of the car, retrieves her replacement gown, and promises the sales guy she'll do her best to not ruin this one.

Over a cup of hot tea at the Crested Butte Brewery, Heidi asks Spencer when he plans to leave Colorado, and he's like, "I can't get outa here soon enough" and adds that he totally regrets making the trip. The two nonsensically bicker about why they've been bickering so much lately, blah blah...until Heidi snappishly lays out the conditions of them moving ahead (or not) with their unholy coupling:

• She wants her whole life back [that's 100% on you, Heidi]
• She wants her friends back [kinda depends on how eager your friends are to welcome you back into the friend fold]
• She wants him to [pretend to] move out

"You need to go back to L.A., like yesterday."

"Believe me, there isn't a plane that could fly me there fast enough."

Lauren and Whitney arrive at the Crillon Ball and get their latest superfluous assignments from Kimball. Whitney is instructed to hold up signs specifying which debutante is wearing which designer...and looks less than thrilled to be doing this type of low level grunt work.

Later, Kimball asks Whitney how she thinks the ball is going and whether or not she's enjoyed carrying out the downright silly tasks he's been assigning her during this Paris episode. She tells him how much she looooooves being part of all of the fashion and excitement and is grateful for her time at Teen Vogue - but would really prefer to be more directly involved with the stylingk aspect of the fashion industry. Kimball, in his usual haughty-contemptuous manner, says it's fairly obvious how lackluster she's been about the trivialness of her role during the Crillon Ball, and that she should feel free to go elsewhere to pursue her passion while simultaneously filming more Hills episodes.

"I'm interested in filming a Hills storyline about entering the world of stylingk."

"Seems fitting. Oops, I punned."

When the Crillon Ball wraps up, Matthias offers to give Lauren a tour of Paris on his Vespa, so she gathers the billowy skirt of her ballgown and climbs onto the bike behind him. They ride along the Seine and past the Eiffel Tower...and later drops her off at Le Grand Hotel and blows her one last kiss.

The next morning, Whitney tells Lauren she's had an awakening about wanting to do more than pretend office work in the Teen Vogue closet office and is looking to venture into the stylingk side of the fashion world, capping off her life decision by saying, "It's kind of, I think, my time. You know?" 

Spencer bids Heidi adieu, and she says she half-heartedly appreciates him making the effort to fly to Colorado to woo her back - but makes it clear that she's going to need more time to ponder their situation. She promises to call him as soon as she returns to L.A.

Lauren and Whitney are ready to head to the airport...and they agree that while it was soooo cool to attend the Crillon Ball, it's definitely time to get this reality show back to America.

Spencer hugs Heidi goodbye, then drives off...and a sad looking Heidi stares after his SUV rental.

Lauren and Whitney look visibly pensive as Stephane transports them to Charles De Gaulle Airport.

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---