The Hills - Season 2, Episode 9

"I'm only going to ask once...and then another five hundred times: will you pleeeease move in with me?"

"New Year, New Friends"
Original airdate: 3/12/2007

Episode summary: Spencer repeatedly pressures Heidi into moving in with him. Lauren celebrates New Year's Eve with her Laguna gal pals and Audrina. 

---

Recap: While out clothes shopping, Lauren tells Audrina she's inviting three of her old Laguna gal pals to join them at Area on New Year's Eve...and that their purpose for being there is to fill the friend void left by Heidi, who she correctly assumes would prefer to celebrate the occasion with her pumpkin-headed ball and chain. In the next scene, Lauren and Audrina are at a baseball game cheering on Whitney...and after the game, the three gabble about how much they're looking forward to getting Happy New Year kisses from cute boys.

While out shopping for New Year's outfits, Heidi tells Spencer the plan for the evening: the two of them will go out to dinner together, then head over to Area to meet up with Lauren et. al. Spencer makes a blech face and says he has zero desire to hang with Lauren and her posse, so Heidi tells him she's determined to make more of an effort to spend time with her soon-to-be ex-bestie and figured that New Year's Eve would be the perfect opportunity. A reluctant Spencer capitulates, then suggests she move out of Hillside Villas asap so the two of them can shack up together. Heidi's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and says that while she'd love to, she made a commitment to play the role of Lauren's BFF/roommate/sidekick for as long as the MTV producers are willing to pay her. Spencer rolls his eyes and says that her current living situation is adversely affecting their relationship...then points out that her BFF role no longer makes sense, given that Lauren now spends most of her leisure time with Audrina. 

"I'd like us to spend New Year's Eve partying at a club with Lauren and her friends."

"While I remain opposed to spending any time with people who can see me for the asshat I really am."

Lauren, Audrina, and Heidi are at a swanky salon, getting their hair done for New Year's Eve. Lauren mentions that she's bringing a hottie from Colorado to the party...and when Heidi's all, "Say wuh? You met a new guy?", Lauren snidely retorts that she'd know that if she ever separated herself from Spencer long enough to spend an evening hanging with her. She then abruptly changes the subject and says that she and Audrina have decided to take kick-boxing classes together...and as Heidi puts her sad face on at being excluded from the aerobic bonding, Lauren ignores Heidi further and suggests to Audrina that they order pizza and champagne before heading out to Area. 

Heidi and Spencer arrive at Dolce for a fancy dinner out, and he smarmily gushes about how hot she is, and how much he'd loooove to take her home for a romp instead of going clubbing with his arch nemesis. He asks her if she's decided to move in with him yet, and she answers with a vague 'maybe sometime in the future' and worries that if she moves out of Hillside Villas she'll no longer be friends with Lauren. Spencer's like, "And that's a problem because..?" and breezily points out that Lauren can always live with her new & improved BFF, Audrina.

Over at Hillside Villas, Lauren and Audrina are celebrating the upcoming festivities with Laguna pals Lo, Jill, and Natania by taking photos of each other and guzzling champagne. Lo asks why Heidi isn't here partying along with them, and Lauren explains that she pretty much spends every waking hour with her boyfriend...and when Lo says she heard that Spencer was a colossal fucktard, Lauren and Audrina chuckle [in agreement] and tell her she'll have to use her own judgement to decide just how colossal a fucktard he truly is. 

"Whassup with the cretin Heidi's shackled herself to this season?"

"We'd prefer you formulate your own opinion on MTV's newest reality show villain."

Heidi and Spencer are en route to Area, and Spencer continues to grumble about being forced to party in the company of Lauren. When they arrive at the club, they hug everyone hello...and as Lauren occupies herself with her Colorado hunk, Heidi excitedly gabs to Lo about how Spencer has asked her to move in with him. As the clock strikes midnight, everyone screeches 'Happy New Year!' and smooches their beloved ... and a few seconds later, Lauren et. al. exit the club while Heidi and Spencer trail behind and try to look as left behind as possible. Spencer points out to Heidi what "a reality check" it is that Lauren basically just ditched her without saying goodbye, and Heidi half-heartedly tells him to stop constantly harping on the slow deterioration of their friendship. 

At Bolthouse Productions, Heidi tells Elodie how disappointed she is that Lauren spent most of New Year's Eve hanging with Audrina - and Elodie says it's totally understandable, given how much she (Lauren) hates Spencer...to whom she (Heidi) was, no doubt, joined at the hip all night. Heidi's like, "Speaking of Spencer.." and tells Elodie he asked her to move in with him, and dreamily adds that she's never known what love was until the douchecanoe started manipulating her into distancing herself from anyone who's not him. Elodie scrunches her face in puzzlement and goes, "Really?" - LOL - and asks Heidi if she's ready to move in with him...and Heidi says she's pretty sure she really really wants to, and is going to have to find a way to break the news to Lauren. 

Lauren and Whitney go out for coffee and dish about what they each did on New Year's Eve. Lauren tells her she was sooo happy that her Laguna pals came out, then adds that Heidi and Spencer were also at Area - but that she didn't spend much time with Heidi, who she can't believe hasn't yet given Spencer the heave-ho. Whitney chucklingly concurs and says that she too can't believe that that unholy coupling is still going on. 
​
While out to dinner, Spencer and Heidi schmaltzily exchange I love yous...and Spencer insists he loves her more despite having to deal with her shitty friends. He snarls at Heidi for continuing to choose to live with Lauren over him, reminds her that Lauren left her in the dust on New Year's Eve, and orders her to break the news to Lauren that she's moving out 'cause he's in the process of finding a lair for the two of them to cohabitate in.

Lauren and Lo are dining out at Café Sushi and gabbing about New Year's Eve and all the bad blood that still exists between Lo and Jen Bunney. Lo switches gears and asks Lauren who she's going to room with after Heidi moves in with Spencer...and when a confused Lauren's all, "Wha-a-a-at are you talking about?!", Lo explains that Heidi told her at Area about how Spencer asked her to move in with him. A visibly shocked Lauren mulls that over, tells Lo she really doesn't think Heidi is crazy enough to want to live with the human shitbag, then stares worriedly into space. 

"Have the MTV producers told you who they're casting as your new BFF/roommate next season?"

"No, but I'll run down the list of all my TV-ready friends and try to hazard a guess."

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!