Recap: Heidi emerges from the bathroom and tells Lauren how nauseous and dizzy she's been feeling lately, and that these symptoms led her to the worrisome conclusion that she might be in a family way. She adds that she just took a pregnancy test - but wants to continue to keep viewers in suspense until she reveals the results directly to Spencer during the first of their many in-car tête-à-têtes. Later, Heidi calls Spencer from her workstation and asks him to meet her in the back alley behind Bolthouse 'cause there's something super important they need to discuss. Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love summons Lauren and Whitney to her office to inform them about tomorrow's assignment: behind-the-scenes scutwork for designer Ashley Paige in preparation for her bikini fashion show. Whitney says she has class tomorrow but will rush over to the studio asap, so Lisa turns her attention to Lauren and emphasizes how crucially important it is to the very foundation of Teen Vogue that she not piss off Ashley Paige and obediently carry out whatever menial shit is asked of her. When Spencer rolls up in his black BMW, Heidi climbs into the passenger seat with her most serious face on and explains that she's been feeling sick and nauseous for the last few days. After a pregnant pause (hee!), during which a grinning Spencer just stares at her with a 'yeah, and..?' expression, Heidi natters that she's unsure exactly how he feels about her other than her assumption, "I get that you like me, whatever", and Spencer interjects and says he more than just likes her - waaaaay more, in fact - but won't tell her what she should do with her body and that he'll go "either way with this". Heidi reveals that she took a pregnancy test...then pauses...for maximum...dramatic effect...before the anti-climactic revelation: "I'm not pregnant." Spencer tells her he's kinda irked about how hard she worked just now to give him the impression she was pregnant in order to gauge his reaction to the startling news. Heidi explains that her faux pregnancy scare made her ponder the seriousness of their unholy coupling, and Spencer assures her she can stop being jealous of Audrina, who he insists he never tried to hook up with and describes as "out of her mind". Heidi half-heartedly chides, "I'm so mad at you still!", but otherwise seems satisfied with his 'I waaaaay more than just like you' declaration and promises to call him later.
The next day, Heidi tells Lauren she gave Brody Jenner her phone number and says it'd be cool if the two of them hooked up, given that he's Spencer's BFF...which, under any other circumstance, would mostly serve as a deterrent. Lauren's all, "Ewww! He's been tainted by Kristin [Cavallari]!", but Heidi's like, "Yeah, whatever. Just answer your cell when he calls you." Lauren arrives at the Ashley Paige Store, where two models are slumped across a couch in anticipation of the fashion show. Amid Ashley's vocal bitchery about the general uselessness of interns, Lauren is immediately put to work answering phones and digging through a jar of wax to find the wick of what Ashley calls a special "green money" candle. She's impressed when Lauren manages to find and light the wick and happily pronounces, "You can stay", then assigns her the task of sewing flower petals on the top of a black parasol. Spencer phones Audrina...and when she answers (for whatever God-only-knows-why reason) he mumbles in his weird sing-songy way, "Well look who it is, my favorite person in the world" and invites her out to dinner. Audrina declines, says she's not interested in giving any more oxygen to the contrived feud between herself and Heidi, and abruptly hangs up. Bwahahaha! She definitely seems of sound mind to me. The Ashley Paige crew has transported itself to the fashion show venue, where the models are backstage, getting their hair and makeup done. Whitney arrives and immediately jumps in to help Lauren et. al. get the models in show order...and during that chaos, Lauren gets a call from Brody. She tells him she's going to have to put a pin in their conversation 'cause right now things are too frantic at Model Central. The bikini fashion show gets underway, appears to run smoothly, and afterwards Ashley gushes to Lauren how thrilled she is with her help and jokingly (?) asks if she can steal her away from Lisa Love. Later at Hillside Villas, Heidi notices that Brody is calling Lauren's cell, so she answers, "Heidi's dating service" ... and Brody chortles about how hilarious he finds that. Heidi hands the phone to Lauren, who apologizes for having to cut their earlier conversation short and accepts his dinner invitation for tomorrow night. Lisa Love thanks Lauren for her assistance to Ashley Paige and says she was reportedly very helpful. She surmises that one of Lauren's strengths in the fashion world seems to be responding to orders that get barked at her by crotchety designers...and Lauren pretends that she loved every minute of answering the phone, digging through candle wax, and helping arrange the bikini models in proper runway order.
Lauren is in her Hillside Villas bathroom, primping for her date with Brody and telling Heidi that, fingers crossed, at worst the evening will be a harmless dinner outing. Lauren and Brody arrive at a restaurant named Social, and he waxes on about how amaaaaazing she looks, repeatedly (to the point of creepishness) compliments her pretty smile, and thanks her for being the hottest arm candy of all the arm candy inside the restaurant.
After dinner, Brody drives Lauren home, carries on ad fucking nauseum about her smile again, then bids her goodnight with a hug. Lauren thanks him for paying the dinner check, promises to give him a call, and scampers into Hillside Villas while he drives off. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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THE HILLS HOMEPAGESeason 1 Recapper: Isabel K. French
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