The Hills - Season 1, Episode 6
Recap: The Hills gals are at an outdoor cafe, where Heidi is telling Lauren and Audrina that this week marks the sixth-month anniversary of the day Jordan first asked her out. She marvels that this is the longest relationship she's ever had, and Lauren cheekily says that in her high school, a girl would definitely give it up to a guy she's been dating for six months...and the three chortle at the unlikelihood that Heidi has been abstaining from sex with Jordan for the last six months.
At Bolthouse Productions, Heidi is glumly playing solitaire at her workstation when Brent summons her to his office. As she shoots him a pouty glare, he tells her he's going to start integrating her into the club scene, specifically that she'll be working with Elodie at LAX on Wednesday night. Heidi's face lights up...and after thanking him profusely, she rushes back to her workstation and calls Elodie to tell her she'll be working at the club with her. Elodie seems surprised by this development and asks her if she's starting the new assignment this Wednesday...and Heidi suddenly gets a blank look on her face and says she hopes it's not this Wednesday - even though I thought it was pretty clear that that's exactly what Brent just said - 'cause she has anniversary plans with Jordan to go to dinner and bowling. Elodie rolls her eyes and laughingly calls her Miss I-Have-a-Really-Big-Personal-Schedule. LOL.
Jason intercepts Lauren as she's on her way to FIDM and says he wants to talk about the other night, specifically why she seemed so upset after dinner. Lauren tells him he hurt her feelings when he acted like such a cold douchwad towards her all through dinner and that she was disappointed that he didn't seem to want to spend time with her after he'd played golf with the menfolk all day. Jason mumbles about how there were a bunch of guys at the restaurant he hadn't seen in awhile and wanted to hang with them, coos at her to not be sad, then gives her a reassuring canoodle that all is well.
Over at Teen Vogue, Lisa Love is chairing a summit to discuss an upcoming fashion show they're doing in partnership with DKNY Jeans. Lisa tells Whitney that she and Lauren will be helping the stylist (Jay) backstage...and Whitney says she'll fill Lauren in, whose absence from the meeting is remarked on, then decided is acceptable 'cause she's busy taking a test at FIDM. When Whitney returns to the closet office, she calls Lauren to give her a heads-up about the fashion show, says there'll be soooooo much work to do, and that it'll just be the two of them helping Jay. Lauren thanks her for the call and tells her she'll see her tomorrow.
At Bolthouse Productions, Jen summons Heidi to her office to go over the specifics for Wednesday night. Heidi looks pained and says she was hoping to start Saturday instead - but Jen's like, "Uh no" and proceeds to lecture her in advance about how Bolthouse staff is not permitted to go inside the club and hang out with friends, aka Heidi's primary motivation for remaining employed at Bolthouse. Heidi looks less than thrilled by the edict and asks if it's OK to hang with friends once they're done working, and Jen says that's not actually possible 'cause when they're done working, it essentially means that the club is closed.
Jason drives Lauren to wherever DKNY Jeans is casting and otherwise preparing for the evening's fashion show...and when she arrives five minutes late, she gets sneered at by the events producer and then lectured by the model bookings editor about how vitally important it is to be on time to these kinds of work gigs - otherwise it holds everyone up. Lauren apologizes, then looks mystified by the disproportionately crazed reaction to her tardiness.
As Heidi primps for her first night of working the club scene, she tells Lauren she's sooooo bummed to not be able to spend the evening clubbing at LAX with Jordan on their anniversary. She says she invited him to come to LAX so that they [and the MTV camera crew] can be in the same place, and Lauren just kind of shrugs and tells her to try to make the best of it.
DKNY fashion show! Lauren is tasked with tracking down a no-show model and is instructed to repeatedly phone her and/or her agency. The organizers then discuss a backup plan in case the model fails to show up and decide that Whitney should take her place on the runway...and Whitney looks momentarily freaked out while Lauren widens her eyes and is all, "Wha-a-a-a??"
At dinner, Heidi and Jordan agree it sucks that she has to work on their six-month anniversary. He presents her with a small jewelry box, and she gasps with delight at the pearl earrings inside and tells him it's been a very special six months and that she's never been with a man this long.
Blaine is stunned to hear that Whitney is now part of the model lineup for the DKNY Jeans show, and Whitney is reacting by twitching and staring nervously into space.
Heidi is learning the ropes of how to stand at the front entrance of LAX holding a clipboard and looking as though she's delivering some kind of useful service. Jordan and Brian arrive and greet Heidi...and a few minutes after that, Heidi sneaks into the club to briefly hang with Jordan and Brian. As that's happening, a guy named Josh wanders over to tell Jordan he's Heidi's ex-date, that they had "eyes for each other", and refers to Heidi as "pretty good though". Jordan's all 'the fuck?' and shoots him the stink-eye...and once Josh scuttles off, he asks Heidi whassup with exacerbating his deep insecurities by making him come face-to-face with someone she once went out with. Heidi clarifies she only went out with Josh once - but Jordan gets all pissy-standoffish, a sentiment that's reinforced by Brian, who thinks that Josh should be told to "like, go walk off a cliff". Heidi heads back to her post at the front door and gabbles at Elodie and Kristen about the contrived drama that just unfolded.
Backstage, Whitney gets her hair and makeup done for the DKNY Jeans fashion show, then lines up with the rest of the models. When she hits the runway, she stares blankly ahead as she confidently struts in her striped shirt and jeans ensemble...and in the front row, Lisa Love tells Blaine she did a great job as a substitute runway model and remarks on how she's always so composed. Backstage, Blaine compliments Lauren and Whitney on rising to the various challenges they've been given at Teen Vogue.
A sulky Jordan is waiting for Heidi when she's finished her "work" at LAX. She tries to explain that she had no clue Josh was in the club and/or would come over to their table, but he just calls her ridiculous and heads over to his car. He bitchily asks her how she'd react if he treated someone he once went out on a date with in a civil manner, then groans as if he's being tortured and moans, "You drive me insannnnnne." An exasperated Heidi asks, "If I drive you insane so much, then why are you with me?" ... and there probably exists no good answer to that.
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4/18/2021 10:18:35 am
I am loving these recaps, Isabel! I never actually saw "The Hills" and now I can read your recaps instead of spending my time watching the ridiculous exploits of these spoiled, vapid douche-canoes! I work front-line COVID response and it is wonderful to read (and re-read) your recaps whenever I need to unwind and laugh...You are an amazing writer. Love, love, love TV of Yore!
Isabel K. French
4/18/2021 11:31:11 am
Erin: it is my pleasure to write recaps of these ridiculous shows, and it thrills me to know that you are enjoying them so much, especially during these hard times. Stay safe, and please keep tuning in.
6/20/2021 04:03:59 pm
Why am I not surprised to see Jason wearing an Ed Hardy shirt?!
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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