The Bionic Woman - Season 2, Episode 8
Recap: Jaime and Steve are watching the news in Jaime's hospital room, their faces scrunched concernedly as the news anchor reports the bizarre, unseasonable storms that defy any kind of plausible explanation. Rudy enters the room and coos at Jaime to chillax, but she insists she's fine and is ready to be dispatched to rescue Oscar...and to prove that she's feeling much better, she picks up a metal pitcher and bionically bends it. Rudy's like, "OK, I'm sold" and informs her and Steve that the Pentagon is gearing up for a full scale attack on Dr. Franklin and the out-of-control weather device he stole right from under OSI's nose with the aid of an Oscar manbot.
We then get some realistic looking footage of various U.S. military ships being readied as if they're about to kick-start World War III...and there's a snappish decree over a noisy PA system: "Man your battle stations!!" LOL.
Over at the Pentagon, Hanson is briefing a group of generals and admirals about the current weather crisis. From his new base of operations (southeast of Jamaica), Dr. Franklin is using the weather control device to stir up terrible storms in the southern interior of the U.S. His one demand is for the Pentagon (and/or the OSI?) to admit that his smarts are far superior than theirs...and if they're willing to do that, he'll happily surrender. Seems like the easiest and most non-violent way to end this ridiculous standoff, but naturally the general and admirals adamantly refuse to stroke the nutty doctor's ego and instead discuss how best to bomb the shit out of his little island. One general suggests launching missiles at the target - but Rudy warns that the "ionic exchange could disorient the internal guidance systems" [eeeek...sounds grave], which means that the missiles could land in populated areas. One of the more humane generals reminds the group that Oscar Goldman is still being held hostage, but Hanson's like, "Meh.." and clicks open a PowerPoint presentation that outlines the best ideas he could come up with to deal with Dr. Franklin and his weather madness:
When Jaime and Steve arrive in the Situation Room to join the meeting, one of the admirals gallantly kisses Jaime's hand (!), while another snidely asks if this "young lady" has the appropriate level of security clearance to be in the room. Rudy assures the sexist assbag that Jaime is a Level 6 OSI agent, and that he and Steve can personally vouch for her. With that settled, Hanson asks Rudy to give the group a psychological profile of Dr. Franklin, so Rudy tells them that the mad as a hatter scientist is deeply insecure and needs to prove himself...and feels safe now that he's created a small army of deadly fembots to serve as his protectors. The generals and admirals frown disapprovingly and express concern that if they give in to Crazy now, the demands will never stop. Hanson posts satellite photos of Dr. Franklin's island, which illustrate the cloud patterns around the island so that it is always at the center of the storm and therefore invulnerable to an air attack. Rudy warns that if they attack from above, Dr. Franklin will likely be provoked into stirring up even more devastating weather conditions for the U.S., but Hanson just shrugs and says he's still stubbornly inclined to go with Plan 1. He asks Admiral Richter to issue the order - but Jaime interjects to plead with the men to let her and Steve make an attempt to save Oscar before they start dropping bombs. Hanson snarkishly tells her the issue has been closed, to which Jaime snaps, "Then re-open it!" - but the generals agree that none of them could give even the tiniest of rat's asses about the fate of Oscar Goldman, and give Hanson's bombing idea an enthusiastic thumbs up.
With Plan 1 cleared by the Pentagon to proceed, the air operations of the U.S. military kick into gear, and a fleet of jets take off to launch an attack on Dr. Franklin's base.
Over in the Caribbean, Dr. Franklin is monitoring the advance of military aircraft while Oscar and Callahan stare nervously into space about the deteriorating situation. Dr. Franklin cranks up the gale force winds on his weather control device...and a few seconds later, we get some alarming looking footage of a violently churning ocean mixed with heavy rain.
Steve tells Jaime that what they really need for Operation Rescue Oscar on the Down-low is a submarine...and the two head over to kindly Admiral Richter's office. Steve wanks Richter about being a progressive man who's always been willing to buck the establishment in favor of a good plan, then asks him to please please please lend him and Jaime an atomic submarine so they can sneak onto the island and rescue Oscar. Richter contorts his face disapprovingly, calls the idea ridiculous, and says he firmly believes in the boneheaded plan of action that's currently in place. He asks Steve what he and "this pretty young lady" could possibly hope to accomplish by themselves, so the two demonstrate their bionic skills by bending a solid brass souvenir ship wheel. Admiral Richter's all, "Wha-a-a?", then looks thoroughly impressed when Steve explains that they're both part human/part bionic spies with superhuman strength who, between the two of them, also have bionic seeing and hearing abilities. Admiral Richter gazes admiringly into space and says he had no idea the OSI had working models of cyborg spies, then decides, "Ah fuck it.." and grants Steve and Jaime access to an atomic submarine to carry out the impromptu rescue mission. Hurray!
Oscar and Callahan look increasingly concerned when Dr. Franklin barks, "More wind!!" at Fembot Katie, who cranks up the gale force winds volume knob. Almost immediately, the military pilots en route to the island have serious visibility issues, so they're ordered to return to base and suspend Operation Blow Up Nutter's Island Base. Back at the Pentagon, Admiral Richter chooses that moment to smugly inform his colleagues about the secret mission he approved involving two OSI spies aboard an atomic submarine...and they get all pissy at him for going rogue behind their backs.
Aboard the submarine, Jaime (who, for some reason, has decked herself out in purple leisure-wear) and Steve are poring over a map with Commander Gordon. If all goes according to plan, they will arrive at the island tomorrow...and as they're talking, the submarine drops further down into the ocean to avoid the tumultuous storm above.
When Dr. Franklin learns that the fighter jets have returned to their bases, he dials back the strength of the gale force winds. A distressed Oscar asks what he wants out of all this, and Dr. Franklin smugly says he's enjoying the moment...as well as exacting revenge on everyone who ever told him what a deranged loser he is. He then cackles evilly while declaring his faux victory heady and delicious.
Jaime and Steve continue to pore over the map and plot out which side of the island they should infiltrate first. Steve tells Jaime that if they happen to get separated, they should meet up at the island's ginormous dam - a detail which will be (somewhat) important to the plot later. The submarine suddenly crashes into some kind of underwater security net that Dr. Franklin must have somehow cobbled together and installed in the ocean...and a bummed Commander Gordon says that this likely means they'll have to scrap the mission. Steve refuses to admit defeat and asks him if he has a scuba suit...and Jaime gets in on that action and chirps, "Two!" In the next scene, the two are suited up in matching scuba gear and are ready to exit the sub. After they're swiftly ejected, they bionically swim through a violent rain storm and get separated in the process. Jaime stares at the churning water around her and screeches, "Steeeeeve!!" and when he doesn't answer, she continues swimming towards shore.
Jaime arrives on a quiet beach and quickly removes her scuba suit, underneath which she still has on her purple leisure-wear. A helicopter manned by a fembot suddenly appears and starts to descend on her, and she's all, "Ack!" and bionically jogs uphill into a nearby wooded area. From his complex, Dr. Franklin orders the fembot to pursue Jaime, who manages to hide beneath some heavy foliage. A miffed Dr. Franklin dispatches two additional fembots to hunt her down...and I can't help thinking that Jaime should probably not have worn purple for a risky rescue mission on an island riddled with fembot cameras.
Dr. Franklin informs Oscar and Callahan that Jaime somehow washed up on the island, then address Jaime directly via the fembot manning the helicopter. He warns her that if she doesn't give herself up asap, he's going to kill Oscar. Oscar stoically informs Dr. Franklin that Jaime is well aware of his orders regarding his capture and insists that he's ready to die as an OSI martyr. Dr. Franklin sneeringly calls his acceptance of certain death "very noble", then argues that he doesn't believe for a second Jaime is going to let him die without a fight. He ominously adds that, for that reason, he cannot allow her to make it to his complex alive.
Jaime continues bionically jogging through hurricane force winds. As trees get uprooted, she trips and hits her head on a rock...but fortunately this occurs near heavy foliage, which keeps her well hidden. An irked Dr. Franklin dispatches yet another fembot to capture her and snaps, "If she resists, kill her!"
Back at the Pentagon, the military brass is carefully monitoring the increasingly bizarre weather patterns in the Caribbean. They're perplexed by the storm that's advancing toward Dr. Franklin's island...and Rudy theorizes that the arrival of Jaime and Steve likely prompted him to stir up the messy storm. One of the generals says he's not at all comfortable relying on two OSI spies to successfully complete this mission and would really really like to re-launch Plan 1 - but Admiral Richter argues that Jaime and Steve deserve the chance to succeed...and not get blown up by "friendly (bomb) fire" in the process.
Jaime regains consciousness just as a fembot advances on her. She grabs a large rock and aims it at the fembot's power source, and the bionic blow instantly destroys the bot and also causes a transmission failure for Dr. Franklin. On another computer monitor, he spots Steve wash up on the shore - who, for some reason, wore only a pair of short beige shorts underneath his scuba suit - and orders the fembot in the helicopter to pursue and capture him. Jaime, meanwhile, strips off the black jumpsuit and helmet that the destroyed fembot was wearing and quickly puts it on over her purple leisure wear, then rushes to the beach to help Steve fend off the robot attackers. They attempt to take control of the helicopter - but when a fembot swiftly disables it, they throw in the towel on that ill-fated plan and decide to bionically jog toward the dam. Dr. Franklin orders his fembots to raise the wind levels in order to slow Jaime and Steve down...then concedes aloud that the OSI cyborgs are indeed extraordinary specimens - though they're still no match for nature's fury.
Dr. Franklin's male assistant - who I don't recall seeing before now - warns him that he's ramping up the weather system too high and too quickly, and that it's creating dangerously unstable conditions. Dr. Franklin snaps that the instability caused by unleashing severe weather is their greatest asset, then shoves his assistant out of the way and turns up the wind strength knob even higher.
A short shorts clad Steve and Jaime race towards the dam as the fembots struggle to remain in close pursuit. An increasingly frustrated Dr. Franklin barks, "Faster! Catch them!"
Callahan whimpers to Oscar about how the sound of thunder terrifies her - and Oscar puts his grave face on and says that things will get far more terrifying when the thunder stops...'cause it'll mean that both Steve and Jaime are dead.
As Jaime, Steve, and the fembots approach the dam, Dr. Franklin worries aloud that lightning is going to strike and destroy his beloved fembots...and his beleaguered assistant just shrugs helplessly and points out that because of his stubborn dickfoolery, the storm is far too out-of-control to rein in now. And speaking of the storm being completely out-of-control, lightning suddenly strikes two of the fembots, causing their power sources to spark and explode. Dr. Franklin screeches at Fembot Katie to get off the dam - but a couple of seconds later, she too is struck by lightning and destroyed. As Jaime and Steve bionically jog across the dam, lightning strikes it as well, causing it to crack and start flooding the island.
A despondent Dr. Franklin wanders over to where Oscar and Callahan are standing and tells them that since their fates no longer matter to him, they're free to go...then adds that the complex is about to be washed away by a rapidly approaching flood. Oscar implores him to escape certain death by fleeing along with them, but he declines and says he'd like to match his (Oscar's) heroic example and go down with the ship...er, computer lab. Oscar, Callahan, and Dr. Franklin's assistant say they're A-OK with that and beat a hasty retreat while Dr. Franklin sadly watches his computers get destroyed by a series of implausible lightning strikes.
Jaime and Steve enter the complex...and when Jaime spots Dr. Franklin, she quickly runs over to him. He applauds the OSI for building cyborgs who are far superior to his fembots...and Jaime just stares at him blankly, then looks over at a computer monitor that's showing footage of the dam breaking. She orders him to come with her, but Dr. Franklin says he'd rather end it all inside his soon-to-be ravaged complex. Jaime refuses to take no for an answer and threatens to use her bionics to pick him up and carry him if he gives her no choice...and Dr. Franklin poutishly says if he's going to survive the flood, he'd prefer to do so with his last scrap of dignity intact. He criticizes Jaime for being one of those pesky, independent type women with a mind of her own, then voluntarily leaves with her...and seconds after they exit the building, water comes crashing in. Steve, who's still prancing around in just his short shorts, appears just in time to help rescue them from the rising flood.
After the commercial break, the group safely makes it to high ground, where they spot a rescue vessel floating off shore. Jaime wanks Dr. Franklin by telling him he's done some pretty amazing shit during this fembot trilogy, however alarmingly demented and illegal it may have been...but Dr. Franklin says he doesn't feel at all amazing and regrets having such an oversized ego.
Steve and Jaime amble towards the beach, while Dr. Franklin bloviates about how the things in life that aren't controllable are the best things of all. Oscar smiles in agreement...and then he and Dr. Franklin stroll behind Jaime and Steve as if Dr. Franklin isn't a complete psycho-nut who didn't spend the last three episodes creating dangerous killing machines, unleashing damaging storms on the U.S. for no coherent reason...and, most disturbingly, made repeated threats to murder Oscar, Jaime, and Steve.
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