Recap: During "show and tell" time at the Air Force school, Jaime urges a shy student, Katie, to show the thing she brought to school...and a little boy grumbles about how Katie's stuff is always so boring and stupid. A few seconds later, a lion - ack! - appears in the doorway, and Jaime cautions the kids to sit still and not make any sudden movements (!). Katie tells everyone that the lion's name is Neil, that he was deemed too wild for the circus (not comforting information), and that he now lives as a pet with an insane woman named Susan Victor. Susan [who is Melanie Griffith's mother in real life and actually lived with this lion in her family's home] enters the classroom and warmly greets Jaime. The kids, who are somehow not shitting their pants at being in such close proximity to a free roaming lion, ask if they can pet Neil, and Susan smiles and chirps, "He'd love it!" - but a cautious Jaime urges the kids to not do anything that might spook Neil and result in one or more fatal maulings.
Two ranchers are studying a giant paw print in the dirt, and one of them decides it must belong to the beast that killed his steer...and by beast he means the lion that Susan Victor lets roam around. The camera then zooms in on the giant paw print once more in case we missed it the first time.
We head over to the Victor ranch, which is also home to an elephant, a chimp in a diaper, a pair of llamas, and a black bear - a veritable pot-pourri of exotic pets. Katie, who helps out on evenings and weekends, is playing with the bear (!) while Neil ambles around. Susan gives Jaime a ride on her elephant, then complains about all the problems she's been having with her neighbors, who don't seem to dig the idea of living adjacent to an unsecured ranch that houses dangerous predators. On top of that, she's in so much debt that she had to let her assistant go and solely relies on Katie's volunteer services. [It's interesting that Katie's parents don't seem to mind her spending so much time in potentially life threatening situations.] Jaime assures Susan that her financial situation will somehow resolve itself, and Susan tells her about a TV producer who recently expressed an interest in creating a TV show about her animal collection. By scripted coincidence, the phone rings a few seconds later...and the call is from the TV producer, who invites Susan to a meeting in New York tomorrow. Jaime urges her to take the meeting and says she'll be more than happy to stay at the ranch and babysit the animals...and Susan takes her up on her insane offer and woots excitedly.
The next day, Jaime and Katie are feeding the animals while Neil lounges on a stack of hay bales. Katie gabbles happily about how totally batshit crazy - I mean awesome it is that Neil can roam around free and not spend his days chained or caged up. Jaime says that the notion of a free roaming lion [on a ranch with no security gates to speak of] takes a bit of getting used to, and Katie grins and chirps, "Sure does!" then goes off to diaper the chimp while Jaime bionically lifts several feed bags and transports them over to the barn. Neil suddenly starts to get agitated, which irks the elephant so much that he stumbles over to where the llamas are housed and starts crashing through their fencing. Jaime grabs the chain that's wrapped around the elephant's leg [unlike Neil, I guess he has to spend his days being chained up] and bionically drags him back to his grazing area, then hammers the spike attached to the chain into the ground. Neil, meanwhile, continues to look unsettled.
Charlie Keys, the rancher who was studying the giant paw print earlier, arrives at the Victor ranch with Jaime's step uncle, Bill. Jaime explains to the men that she's "zoo sitting" while Susan is away for the weekend. When Neil ambles over, Charlie gets alarmed and aims his gun at him...and when Neil starts growling in protest, Jaime explains that guns really upset him and snaps at Charlie to lower his weapon. Charlie calls Neil's behavior uppity (can a lion really be uppity?), then accuses him of attacking his steer. Jaime says the steer couldn't possibly have been killed by Neil - but Charlie disagrees and insists that he should be caged and/or chained up. When Jaime refuses to agree to that, Uncle Bill advises her to do as Charlie says...and Charlie bitchily vows that if he ever catches the beast on his property, he'll shoot him.
After the men leave, Katie insists that Neil couldn't have been responsible for killing that steer - and Jaime says she believes her and also believes in Susan's brand of "affection training" for un-domesticate-able animals. She notices a rifle hanging over the fireplace and asks Katie about it...and Katie explains that it's a tranquilizer gun in case any of the animals get squirrelly. That maybe sounds like something Susan should have informed Jaime about before jetting off to New York for the weekend. Katie then begs Jaime not to put Neil in a cage, and Jaime says she'll keep him inside the house with her tonight.
Bedtime! Jaime settles onto the couch with the chimp seated above her, Neil stretched out on the carpet in front of the fire, and a squawking parrot in the corner. When the chimp and parrot keep her up with their chatter, she puts a pillow over her head to drown out the noise.
During the night, Neil gets up, turns the knob of the front door with his giant paw (LOL), then exits the house and trots off. The chimp starts shrieking - I think to alert Jaime - but somehow her bionic hearing remains inactive and she sleeps through the whole thing.
An unseen predator approaches a herd of cattle, and a few seconds later we hear an ominous cat-beast type screeching noise. Eeeeeek!
When Jaime wakes up the next morning, she's startled to find the front door wide open...but relieved to see that Neil is stretched out on the carpet. She scrunches her face in confusion as she stares down at Neil, then again at the open door. It's interesting that Neil is skilled enough to work a door handle, but not adept at swinging the door shut behind him.
Jaime fixes the llamas' broken fencing by hammering the nails back in with her bionic hands, 'cause who needs tools when you're a cyborg? Charlie Keys comes by with the sheriff to complain that he lost another steer last night, then glares over at Neil, who's lazily rolling around in the dirt. Jaime accurately reports that the lion was with her when she fell asleep, and in the room when she woke up - but the sheriff doesn't look convinced and orders her to confine him to a cage for the next couple of days so that, at the very least, they can rule him out as the steer killer.
In the next scene, Neil is inside a large kennel in the barn, glaring at Jaime. A distressed Katie wails, "How could you let them do it?!" and Jaime tells her she had no choice...but on the upside, it'll prove to everyone that Neil isn't a killer, even though by nature a lion is a predatory carnivore. She then pretends to look bemused by how society regards these exotic cats and says, "To most people, a lion is a wild animal." LOL.
Jaime is chillin' in the house with the chimp when Uncle Bill calls to check up on her...and she assures him she's fine, and that the lion is indeed locked up for the night. And speaking of the lion being locked up for the night, a few seconds later she hears Katie shriek, "Neil! Come back here!" and rushes out to the barn to see whassup. Katie, who's standing next to the empty kennel, sheepishly admits that she was so upset at seeing Neil caged up that she let him out to play for a minute...but he suddenly growled and took off. Jaime rolls her eyes in exasperation at the imbecile and moans, "Oh Katie.." Katie tells her that he ran in the direction of Uncle Bill's place, and Jaime says she's going to go look for him, then asks her to please call Uncle Bill and warn him that - ack! - a lion may be headed his way.
Jaime bionically chases after Neil, pausing periodically to activate her bionic hearing. I've noticed that she always needs to come to a complete halt in order for her special hearing to kick in. Seems like a glitch that Oscar needs to sort out. Eventually she tracks Neil's growling noises to a bushy enclave...and nervously peers inside and goes, "Neil? Is that you? Come out!" and Neil emerges with a sheepish look on his face and then amiably trots home behind Jaime.
Jaime brusquely sends Katie home, and promises to look into whether Neil killed anything while he was MIA...then puts him back inside his kennel and sits beside him to keep him company. A few minutes later, Neil and the llamas get agitated by something...and Jaime's like, "Ack!" when she peers out of the barn and spots a giant cougar prowling around the ranch. She bionically throws a big rock at it, and it gets frightened and runs off.
The next morning, Charlie tells Jaime he doesn't believe there's really a cougar lurking around the area, and continues to insist that it was Neil who killed his steer. When Uncle Bill agrees that it's the most probable explanation, Jaime announces that she's going to track down the cougar, then saddles up and rides off on one of Susan's horses...and Charlie, Uncle Bill, and I are like, "You're gonna do what?!"
Charlie tells Uncle Bill that he can't afford to lose anymore cattle, and therefore intends to get a court order to have Neil destroyed. He doesn't need to be destroyed, douche. Just sent to a secured sanctuary that's being properly run by humane, professional animal handlers.
In the next scene, Charlie hooks up with another local rancher, George, and grumbles about how a court order is going to take too long. He decides it would be far more efficient to sneak back to the Victor ranch and finish off the lion himself. Noooooo!!!!
Uncle Bill mounts one of his horses, rides around, and eventually catches up to Jaime. He somehow manages to track the cougar's paw prints and tells Jaime it looks like he's headed north.
Charlie returns to the Victor ranch with George in tow, and the two men enter the barn with their rifles drawn. Charlie suddenly realizes that he doesn't want to get sued for killing the lion on his owner's property, so his new plan is to turn the lion loose and then shoot him once he crosses the property line. Er...OK, but that still seems like a chargeable offense. He orders George to open the cage door, and George gives him a funny look, somehow refrains from retorting, "You open the cage door!" and nervously says he's never been this close to a lion before. He then tentatively opens the door, but Neil just continues to sit in the corner, glowering at the two men. Charlie tells George to "give him a push" - bwahahahaha! - but George wisely refuses to crawl inside the kennel and forcibly shove the four hundred pound lion toward the exit. Charlie impatiently fires off his rifle, and Neil gets so wigged out by the sound of gunfire that he instantly bolts.
Jaime and Uncle Bill are still riding around, searching for the cougar...and by this time, Neil is officially off the Victor ranch, emboldening Charlie to start shooting at him. Fucking douchewad.
Neil encounters the giant cougar, and both cats snarl at each other until Neil gets bored of the confrontation and scampers off.
Jaime bionically hears the cougar growling, and for some inane reason, she and Uncle Bill decide it's a good idea to split up in their search for him. Jaime dismounts her horse and bionically jumps over a large patch of rough terrain.
The cougar corners Uncle Bill, then leaps atop him. Fortunately for him, Jaime is nearby and immediately jumps into action by bionically snapping her fingers - which looked really weird, but was somehow scary enough to frighten the cougar. As he runs off, Jaime bionically throws a tranquilizer dart in his direction...and it must have hit him, 'cause a few seconds later he collapses. George appears out of nowhere to see whassup, so Jaime informs him that she just tranquilized a giant cougar, who she firmly believes is solely responsible for all the steer killings. George informs her that he and Charlie just forced Neil out of his kennel so they can hunt him down - and a horrified Jaime says that Neil will go berserk if they start shooting at him. She orders George and Uncle Bill to tie up the cougar, and says she's off to rescue Neil. She then bionically runs off, leaving Uncle Bill staring after her, visibly puzzled by the slo-mo, dun dun dun dun dun way she runs.
Charlie finally locates Neil and advances on him as he draws his rifle, then starts shooting. Neil gets freaked and continues to run...while Jaime, who has heard the gunshot, changes direction and runs toward the commotion. Some random guy drives by in a truck, and Charlie stops him and warns him that there's a lion on the loose. A few minutes later, he fires on Neil again, striking the poor cat in the paw...and Jaime hears the second shot, but can't seem to bionically run toward Neil fast enough. [It's like that dream everyone has where you're running, but can't get anywhere.]
Neil hobbles into a barn, leaving a bloody trail behind. Charlie and a group of gun-toting ranchers arrive at the barn a few minutes later and discuss the best way to dispose of the beast. Katie suddenly appears out of nowhere and begs the men to put down their weapons...and Jaime's bionic ear catches that exchange, and she changes direction again and races - dun dun dun dun dun - toward the barn. The ranchers decide that the best course of action would be to set the barn on fire [LOL - I wonder if the owner of the barn would agree with that assessment] and then shoot Neil as he tries to escape the flames. Jaime finally arrives on the scene, pushes her way through the crowd, and tells Charlie that a cougar, not Neil, was the animal responsible for killing his cattle. Charlie agrees that she's probably right - unfortunately, however, Neil is now wounded and therefore too dangerous to keep alive, so he reckons that the best solution is still to shoot him. Katie wails, "Don't let them do it!" and Uncle Bill blocks the entrance to the barn and orders the men to put down their guns. Jaime bravely announces that she's going inside to try to calm Neil down.
Jaime tiptoes around the barn, softly calling for Neil to come out. The terrified lion, who's been hiding in a dark corner, emerges and half-heartedly attacks Jaime, scratching her hand in a hilariously fake looking clip, which leaves a row of fake looking bloody claw marks. Jaime bionically shoves the lion off of her, then leaps onto a nearby ladder. From the safety of the top rung, she urges Neil to calm down...and after a few more minutes of obligatory snarling, he finally chills out, sits next to her, and purrs contentedly as she pets his mane.
The sheriff arrives on the scene and peers inside, surprised to see Jaime and Neil spooning. Uncle Bill wryly says, "There's your killer" and the ranchers all look dismayed and leave.
Susan returns home from New York and happily tells Neil that the TV producer gave their show the green light. Yay! He's going to be a star! Jaime congratulates her, then confesses that they had a bit of trouble on the ranch while she was gone. Susan notices the bandage on her hand and asks what happened. The animals suddenly get agitated, and Jaime and Katie look at each other and giggle...but neither actually answers the question.
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