Recap: This episode takes a break from Oscar's silly OSI missions and focuses on Harry Anderson, a nondescript man who drives the school bus for the kids in Jaime's class. One morning, Harry dutifully arrives at the Air Force base to ferry Jaime and the kids to the park for a picnic/field trip...but as he's loading up the kids, he realizes he's forgotten to bring along the baseball equipment. He tells Jaime he'll need to swing by his gas station/garage to pick it up.
Two shifty looking men are hanging at the garage, waiting for their car to get fixed. One of them, who's sporting a grisly 'fro, remarks to his friend that the bus driver looks familiar...but even though he's wracked his tiny brain, he still can't place him.
The bus arrives at the park, and the kids quickly spill out and scamper about. Jaime pretends to let Harry help her carry out the heavy cooler filled with beverages, hotdogs and hamburgers, and then Harry grabs the bag of charcoal and gets the barbecue started. While everyone is distracted, Jaime kicks her bionic hands into gear and rapidly divides and molds a disgusting looking glob of ground beef into hamburger patties...then slaps them onto a plate and carries them over to the barbecue. She tells Harry he's very sweet to want to barbecue their lunch and nosily asks him why some nice woman hasn't snapped him up yet. Harry blushes, then mumbles something that kind of implies he has the hots for her...and she pretends to not notice his flirty retort and remarks on how little she knows about him. She asks him if he's ever been married, but he clams up tight and says that some men like to carry around secrets.
The boys are playing baseball when Jaime and Harry bring over the girls and ask them to please integrate them onto their teams. The boys grumble about how they want to play "for real", and one boy is so disgruntled by the notion of playing with females that he's ready to throw in the towel altogether. Jaime gives the boys a nonsensical ultimatum: if their pitcher can strike her out, they can resume playing as they were...but if she manages to hit the ball, they have to let the girls play. The boys agree, and the little pitcher manages to get two strikes on Jaime, but - shocker - on the third pitch, she bionically hits the ball so hard that it sails over to a wooded area. The kids then have to race across the park and dig around for the ball 'cause it's the only one they brought along. Oops.
As Harry drives the last batch of kids home after the picnic (loudly singing BINGO...fuuuuuuuuck), one of the tires blows, which causes Harry to lose control of the bus and crash down a ravine. It lands next to a giant paper mache boulder which blocks them in from the side, and Jaime suggests to Harry that he try opening the back door. While everyone's distracted with that, Jaime bionically kicks open the side door and smashes the featherweight boulder in two, and then she and Harry rush the kids off the bus just as a brush fire spreads perilously toward the gas tank. Jaime soon realizes that little Caroline is still missing, and Harry jumps into action and leaps back into the bus to rescue the hapless blonde moppet, who's flopping around on one of the seats as she coughs from smoke inhalation. He picks her up and hustles her off the bus moments before it becomes engulfed with flames...and the kids are in awe of what they've just witnessed and declare Harry a hero. One of the boys says he's sure to get his mug in the newspaper for his good deed, and Harry's like, "Ack!" and looks wigged out by the prospect.
'Fro 'do is sitting with his friend in a diner, drawing glasses on the newspaper photo of Harry the Hero. After he studies it for a few more seconds, he exclaims, "I've got it!" and says he remembers him from Chicago, circa 1960. He recalls that his name is Walter Kruger, that the poor sod witnessed something he wasn't supposed to...and if they're able to deliver him dead or alive to a certain Chicago mob boss, there'd probably be a lot of money in it for them.
When Harry arrives at the Air Force base to pick up the kids after school, Jaime smilingly asks him to come inside for a moment. When he enters her classroom, the kids all yell, "Surprise!" and up hold a banner that reads We love you, Harry! with a copy of his newspaper photo attached. They gush about his awesome heroics, blah blah...and he thanks them and brusquely orders them to get their butts on the bus. As they scamper out, he frowns at the photo and mutters, "They shouldn't have done this" and Jaime assumes he's just being modest and insists that he deserves recognition for helping save the kids and should be celebrated for the hero he is.
'Fro 'do calls Mr. Stone, his mobster connection in Chicago. Incidentally, Mr. Stone is the same actor who plays the bumbling dumbass headmaster (Mr. Parker) on Facts of Life, which makes it impossible for me to take him seriously as a gangster. 'Fro 'do throws out the name Walter Kruger and asks Stone if it's worth something to him, and Stone says maybe - but only if he's 100% sure it's really Kruger, then reminds him he has a history of being a sloppy lackey. He offers 'Fro 'do $10,000 if he can deliver Kruger, then abruptly hangs up and tries his best to look sinister as he puffs on a cigarette and stares contemplatively out the window.
'Fro 'do tells his friend that they should double-dip by blackmailing Kruger...then double-cross him by turning him over to Mr. Stone. Well that's just diabolical.
'Fro 'do and his friend show up at the Austin ranch, pretending to be insurance agents investigating the bus crash. They question Jaime about Harry's past, and she tells them she knows absolutely nothing about his life pre-Ojai. After the two men leave, Jaime stares at the business card 'Fro 'do left behind, then scrunches her face in confusion and remarks to Papa Austin how weird it was that they didn't ask her a single question about the bus crash. Ya think?? As ominous music starts tinkling in the background, Jaime goes over to the window and watches as the two men climb inside their car. She taps on her bionic earpiece thing/whatever and listens to them discuss whether or not Harry Anderson is really Walter Kruger.
Jaime looks into the insurance company and discovers that they're based in Ohio, not California as 'Fro 'do claimed. She immediately places a call to Harry at the garage to warn him...but he's working on a really loud motor and doesn't hear the phone ringing.
'Fro 'do and his friend arrive at the garage and shut off the ignition of the car that Harry's fixing. 'Fro 'do tells Harry he saw his photo in the newspaper and says he can probably guess why they're there...but when Harry pretends he has no absolutely idea what this is all about, 'Fro 'do spells it out for him by barking a series of words: Chicago. Fifteen years ago. Walter Kruger. He tells Harry that there's a $10,000 bounty on his head, and threatens to call Mr. Stone. Harry concedes that, yeah OK, the jig is up, then pleadingly says that "the incident" happened fifteen years ago...but 'Fro 'do reminds him that there's no statute of limitations on murder. He fake promises to let him keep his freedom if he can come up with $20,000...and a distraught Harry explains that he doesn't have that kind of dough, 'cause everything he owns is invested in this garage. 'Fro 'do says he doesn't give a rat's ass, tells him to "try real hard", and says he has until Monday.
Jaime races over to the garage, and as she's dashing toward the entrance she bionically hears Harry loading his gun with bullets. That is some super sensitive bionic hearing she has. She bursts in and tells Harry they need to talk, then disgustedly asks, "Do you have a gun on you?!" He sheepishly reveals where his gun is tucked into his waistband, then barks at her to leave him alone. Jaime refuses to leave, says she's known him for too long to abandon him during his time of need, then asks him who Walter Kruger is. Harry lays his cards on the table and tells her that Walter Kruger is his real name, and that he once worked as a comedian in a nightclub that was owned by a man who liked to befriend mobsters. One night, a hitman who worked for Mr. Stone killed his boss and he was unlucky enough to witness it. The authorities wanted him to testify against the mobster - but instead of that, he went on the run, changed his name, and ended up as a bus driver in Ojai. Jaime tells him she has a high level friend in DC who can help him figure out how to give testimony against Mr. Stone in exchange for entering the Witness Protection Program. She assures him that Stone can't hurt him once he's in prison, and Harry stares into space as he mulls over that adorably naive pronouncement.
'Fro 'do and his friend return to their motel and - ack! - find Mr. Stone waiting for them. He's clutching a copy of a newspaper featuring Harry's photo, and says, "I read the papers too, gentlemen." He then orders them to lead him to Kruger.
Jaime calls Oscar at OSI, tells him about Harry's dilemma, and says he's willing to provide an eyewitness account of a murder that Mr. Stone ordered in the '60s. Oscar's like, "Sounds good!" and says he'll have someone from the Justice Department come pick him up asap. Jaime suggests she keep Harry hidden at the Air Force base until that happens...and after the call, she gushes to Harry about the various miracles Oscar's been known to perform.
Mr. Stone, 'Fro 'do, and 'Fro 'do's friend arrive at Harry's garage. 'Fro 'do spots Jaime's car and remarks, "That schoolteacher is here" then explains to Mr. Stone that she's a friend of Walter's. Jaime peeks out the window and tells Harry that the thugs are back, and Harry urges her to hide somewhere while he deals with them.
Harry nervously pulls out his gun on the three men, but 'Fro 'do chuckles dismissively and easily takes the weapon from him, then marches him over toward where Mr. Stone is standing. Jaime, who somehow manages to skulk around the garage unseen, shoves a car that's on a lift in the direction of where 'Fro 'do is standing, and when it hits him he goes flying into a pile of tires. Jaime then runs to the opposite end of the car and does the same thing to 'Fro 'do's friend, and he too goes flying into the same pile of tires [which seems to defy logic, gravity, or sensible writing...but OK, this is The Bionic Woman I'm recapping, so I guess I can buy it.] Jaime picks up a full barrel of oil and empties it onto the floor, and the two men clumsily slip and slide while trying to scramble to their feet. During that chaos, Jaime and Harry make a break for it and squeal off in her car, and Mr. Stone hops into 'Fro 'do's car and squeals off after them, abandoning the thugs who are forlornly standing in front of the garage, smeared from head to toe with oil. LOL. Jaime, who doesn't think to check if she's being tailed [this is where some basic level spy training might have come in handy, OSCAR!!!!!], heads straight for the Air Force base so Mr. Stone will know exactly where to find his victim.
Steve Austin (yo Stevie!), who's on an airplane en route to Ojai, calls the Air Force base and asks to be put through to Jaime. The two briefly discuss the Stone murder case, and Steve says he'll be there in about two hours to pick up Harry. Jaime's like, "Fantastic! It'll be good to see you again!" Meanwhile, the duty officer at the base is sending out an alert for two hoods who now have an outstanding charge of assault with a deadly weapon. Also just in: the police figured out that Mr. Stone is posing as a TV repair man and driving around in a TV repair van. Unfortunately, however, the duty officer doesn't think to give a heads up to the guard at the front gate, 'cause in the very next scene, Mr. Stone pulls up in - you guessed it! - a TV repair van and easily sweet talks his way in. He spots Jaime and Harry ambling toward the school...so he ditches the van, then karate chops a sergeant who just happens to be walking by and steals his uniform.
A puzzled Harry asks Jaime how she's able to do "such things", like swing hanging cars at thugs and lift a heavy barrel of oil with her bare hands...and Jaime gives him a breezy non-answer that in no way explains her superhuman strength. Harry seems satisfied with that and moans about how lonely he's been all these years...and how afraid he was to have a family in case the mob ever caught up to him. He hopes the nightmare of being in hiding for the last fifteen years is finally over, and Jaime assures him it's never too late to find love and marriage. She then decides that this is the perfect time for her to head off to the supply room and leave Harry unattended...and on her way out she passes Mr. Stone, who's "disguised" as a sergeant. Stone enters the classroom, where Harry is sitting at Jaime's desk, and glares at him all sinister-like and growls, "Hello, Walter Kruger" and says he hasn't forgotten about him. Harry's all, "Ack!" and throws a flag (with pole) at him and bolts out of the room, and then out of the building. Mr. Stone takes a really looooong time to recover from the flag bonking, then finally struggles to his feet and dashes out of the room. He easily spots Harry who's stupidly standing in full view of Stone, still deciding in which direction he should run. When he realizes that Stone can see him, he lumbers toward a warehouse type building...with Stone in close pursuit.
Jaime returns to the classroom, sees the flag in disarray, and rushes out after Harry.
Harry is crawling around the floor of the warehouse 'cause I guess it's the best idea he can come up with to hide himself from Stone. Jaime enables her bionic hearing in time to hear Mr. Stone bark, "Kruger!" and then fire his gun. She bionically races toward the warehouse...and once she's inside, she jumps to the top level of a metal staircase. She sees Harry flap around uselessly as he tries to flee, then spots Stone stalking him with his gun drawn. Jaime leaps from the stairwell, her feet landing on Stone's shoulders...and the impact forces him to fire off his gun, and then land head-first into a pile of boxes. Harry peeps out from behind a pole and asks what just happened, and Jaime pretends as though she has no earthly idea and stammers, "I dunno. It all happened so fast! Hee hee!" Harry tells her that the man is Mr. Stone, and Jaime looks horrified and shrieks, "He's a killer!" LOL. I thought that fact had been already established.
Jaime and Harry are standing on the tarmac, waiting for Steve's plane to land. Steve greets the two and tells Harry that a lot of people in DC are anxious to hear his testimony against Mr. Stone. [Probably as interested as the Chicago authorities would be.] Jaime giggles and tells Steve that they already have Mr. Stone "in confinement", and Steve looks impressed and says, "You guys don't fool around, do you?" He tells Harry that they're cleared for takeoff, and Harry says goodbye to Jaime with a full-on lip kiss [I've noticed that she's pretty liberal about giving lip-on-lip kisses] and then toddles after Steve. Jaime bionically overhears Harry tell Steve that Jaime is remarkable, super hot, and does amazing things he'd never believe if he were to describe them. Steve turns around and winks knowingly at Jaime, and the two wave goodbye to each other...for now.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
Leave a Reply.
The Bionic Woman homepage
Recapper: Isabel K. French
Your contributions help keep the site ad-free
Television of Yore
Snide recaps of television's most entertaining classics