Recap: Inside the Courtney Medical Clinic, two men in white coats enter a room where a female patient who has her face completely bandaged is sitting up in bed, puffing away on a cigarette. LOL. The older man, Dr. Courtney, tells his patient that today's the big day - but first she's going to have to gratuitously practice some more poison dart throwing at a cardboard cutout of Oscar Goldman (!). He instructs her to aim for the neck, 'cause a nick is all it's going to take to kill him. Ack! In the next scene, Dr. Courtney and the other white-coated man, Matthews, slowly snip off the bandage, then hand the woman a mirror. Dr. Courtney smugly asks, "How do you like it, Jaime?" and we see from the reflection in the mirror that she's a dead ringer for Jaime Sommers. Egads! Another of Dr. Courtney's cohorts, Baxley, is parked near the Austin ranch, wiretapping Jaime as she and Papa Austin chat about her messy apartment and imminent vacay in the Bahamas. When Papa Austin passively-aggressively offers to have his wife clean up after her while she suns herself, Jaime kicks into gear and bionically mops, sweeps, and cleans up her dirty dishes within five minutes. Papa Austin chuckles at the superfluous house-cleaning footage, then helps her carry her luggage out to the car. Jaime's doppelganger, a chain-smoking woman with a Georgian drawl named Lisa Galloway, has been spending the last few weeks studying the life history, voice inflection, and mannerisms of Jaime Sommers. Dr. Courtney praises her work, but says she's going to have to nix the cigarette 'cause Jaime doesn't smoke. He then asks her if she's ready to assume Jaime's identity, and she puts out her cigarette and confidently replies in an accent-free voice, "Who's Lisa? I'm Jaime Sommers." The real Jaime Sommers, meanwhile, is lounging on a Nassau beach, dismayed by the stubbornly pasty white skin of her bionic arm. She puts on her beach robe while mumbling curses at Rudy for not creating tannable bionic skin. Baxley comes over to her lounger, pretending to be a local, and gushes about what a beeeeeautiful American woman she is, then asks if he can join her. Instead of getting suitably turned off by his creepy leering, she's like, "Sure, why the hell not?" Dr. Courtney supplies Lisa with an array of spy paraphernalia: a bracelet/camera, poison dart pens, and lipstick in a bomb. She assures him she's totes ready to go out and carry out her mission...then gets up, smooches one of the doctor's cohorts named Perkins (her boyfriend, I'll assume), and flounces out of the room. Oscar gets buzzed by his secretary and is told that Jaime is here to see him, and he looks perplexed and says, "Send her in." When she - she being Lisa Galloway - enters his office, Oscar happily greets her, then asks her why she's not in the Bahamas. She tells him the weather was lousy and she got bored sitting in her hotel room...then decided that she feels much too isolated from the D.C.-based OSI and would like to learn more about about what the agency does. Like reading the confidential paperwork that's atop his desk, for example. Oscar flatly says no, and that he doesn't get why she'd be so interested in the inner-workings of the OSI...but when Lisa insists, he agrees to get her a security building permit. After he exits his office, Lisa opens the folder titled Top Secret and uses her camera bracelet to make copies of the report it contains. Back in Nassau, Jaime has thrown all common sense to the wind and is aboard a boat with Baxley and two other shifty looking men. One of them slips a drug into her fruity drink, then serves it to her as Baxley gushes about what a huge fan he is of her tennis playing. A few seconds later, she takes a couple of sips, then gets woozy and passes out. Baxley orders the driver to head for deeper waters...and then he and the other guy stuff an unconscious Jaime into a wooden box marked fragile and toss her overboard. Oh no!
Lisa is hanging at a bar called The Pump Room, boozing and puffing away on a cigarette while waiting for Matthews. When he arrives, he chides her for smoking and reminds her how important it is to stay in character. She reluctantly hands over her pack of cigarettes, along with the film from the bracelet camera that contains the report in Oscar's Top Secret file folder. Jaime's wooden casket hits the ocean floor - but before anyone can worry that all hope is lost, she somehow regains consciousness, bionically kicks off the top of the box, torpedoes herself up to the surface, and bionically swims to shore. Phew! Oscar returns to his office and finds Lisa sitting in his chair with her feet on his desk, reading the latest briefs contained in his Top Secret file folder. She grins at him cheekily and says it's interesting reading. Oscar gruffly orders her to get out of his chair and get him some coffee, then gets buzzed from his secretary, who tells him that a woman claiming to be Jaime Sommers is calling from Nassau. Oscar stares over at Lisa in confusion...and she shrugs as if she has no idea what this could be all about, then turns around to covertly ready one of her poison darts. Oscar picks up the phone and hears Jaime wail about how someone just tried to kill her - just as Lisa whirls around and whips the dart in his direction. Fortunately, he ducks quick enough to avoid getting hit, and the dart gets embedded in the top of his chair. He summons security, and two men rush in and apprehend Lisa...and a furious Oscar gets all in her face, briefly swiping at it as if he's trying to figure out whether or not it's some kind of freakish mask. LOL. He demands to know who she is, but she refuses to answer. Jaime, meanwhile, is still on the other end of the phone going, "Hello? Hello? What's going on there?" and Oscar rushes back to his desk and instructs Jaime to get to the American embassy, like pronto, then head straight for the airport. He'll send a plane from Miami to pick her up in an hour. Jaime tells him she's very skeered, and Oscar stares at the poison dart that's embedded in his chair and says, "Babe, I know how you feel." (Note: again with the babe.)
The next day, Jaime's plane lands in D.C. and she heads straight over to Oscar's office. He gives her a quick debrief of the doppelganger situation, then brings her over to the office where Lisa is being held so she can get a quick peek. When she sees her look-alike, she's all, "OMG!" then asks Oscar who she is...but Oscar says he has zero clue 'cause the woman refuses to talk. All they can deduce at this point is that she recently had plastic surgery, and photographed some secret documents with a bracelet camera, the film from which was been smuggled to whoever she's working for. He solemnly tells Jaime it's imperative they get that film back, 'cause if the information gets out, it could compromise some high level government negotiations. He then sighs and resigns himself to the faint hope that one of OSI's double agents will intercept the report - but Jaime offers a more proactive solution by posing as her doppelganger in an effort to blow the nefarious operation wide open. Oscar mulls that over and says the plan could work...then gives her the only clue they have at this point, which is a matchbook from The Pump Room that they found in the doppelganger's pocket. Jaime heads straight over to The Pump Room and is immediately recognized by the bartender, which seems like a promising start. She orders a club soda and patiently waits at the bar...but after downing four more club sodas and no one showing up to clandestinely discuss spy stuff, she's about ready to throw in the towel. Suddenly, Matthews surreptitiously appears beside her and asks her if she has any film to hand over, and when she chirps, "Nothing today" he asks her why she set up this meeting. She says she has some important intel for the head cheese that can only be delivered in person, and an irked Matthew growls, "It better be good, Lisa" then heads over to the nearby pay phone to call Dr. Courtney. The doctor worries that meeting with Lisa during the two weeks of her mission could jeopardize the entire operation - and Matthews agrees, but tells him that Lisa insists it's very important. Dr. Courtney asks him to put Lisa on the phone, so Jaime tells him she has some top secret intel to pass along, then adds, "It's not on film, it's in my head." LOL. Dr. Courtney marvels at her spot-on voice impersonation of Jaime Sommers and says if he didn't know any better he'd swear he was talking to the real thing...but then chuckles at that impossibility and tells her to let Matthews know it's OK to bring her to see him. Jaime passes along the message to Matthews, and the two exit the pub...along with a bearded, undercover OSI agent who has been sitting at the bar the entire time, eavesdropping on their exchange. Matthews hails a cab and hustles Jaime inside...and a few seconds later, the OSI agent also catches a cab and orders the cabbie to pursue the cab ahead of him. That's interesting. I would have thought the OSI would have a more reliable system of tailing criminals (e.g. a company vehicle, assigning more than one agent to important missions like this, etc.) After driving a short while, Matthews and Jaime change cars...and easily lose the OSI agent in the cab behind them. Matthews offers Jaime a cigarette, and she accepts it to maintain the facade of being her doppelganger...but she can't keep herself from hack-coughing after taking a few puffs. She bionically waves her finger in front of the cigarette to create enough wind to burn it down quickly - but when Matthews notices that it's nearly down to the butt, he offers her another one. Oscar tells Lisa if she spills the beans, he'll ensure that she gets a lighter sentence - but she just continues to just sit mutely in her chair and stare into space. Oscar gets a call and learns that the agent tailing Jaime lost her - shocker - and he's all, "Damn! He lost her?!" and Lisa smirks gleefully to herself. It remains unclear why Oscar doesn't think to confine Lisa in a secure interrogation room and then conduct his OSI business far away from her prying eyes and ears. Matthews pulls up to the Courtney Clinic and tells Jaime he'll meet her in Courtney's office. He then says she can drop "the Jaime Sommers routine" and talk like herself...even though a few scenes earlier, he had chided Lisa for not doing a good enough job of staying in character. Jaime ambles into the clinic, peruses the Staff Directory on the wall to find out what floor Dr. Courtney is on, then bionically eavesdrops on two men talking about the top secret report that Lisa got from the OSI. A few seconds later, she runs into Perkins, who grabs her and plants a big smooch on her lips. After the commercial break, Perkins pulls Jaime into a utility room to smooch in private. He coos about how worried about her he's been, and she's like, "Uh huh" and sees the cardboard cutout of Oscar. Perkins implores her to slip back into her regular accent, 'cause he's been missing his Georgia peach...so Jaime does her best to mimic a southern drawl - but continues to rebuff his relentless kisses. Oscar warns Lisa that it's her last chance to cooperate before they transport her to a maximum security cell. She bursts into faux tears, cries about how "a-fright" she must look with her mascara running down her face, and asks to have her lipstick so she can freshen up. One of the OSI agents unwittingly pulls the lipstick bomb out of her purse and hands it to her...and she clutches it and grins evilly. Jaime asks Perkins if he knows what Dr. Courtney did with the top secret report she just gave him, and Perkins says it's prolly been filed in the basement vault...then whines about how she's not kissing him back. She indulges him with a quick kiss, then reaches toward the wall behind him and bionically breaks the water pipe he's leaning against, causing water to suddenly go spritzing in all directions. Dr. Courtney bursts into the room with Baxley and snaps, "What in thunder is going on?!" then tells Perkins to deal with the spritzing water and orders Jaime to follow him up to his office. Lisa throws her lipstick bomb onto the floor of Oscar's office, and it lets out a much tinier boom than I was expecting - yet somehow the smoke renders all of the OSI agents in the room helpless as they clutch their throats and cough uncontrollably. Lisa slips out of the room, then exits the building and hails a cab. Dr. Courtney hands Jaime a cigarette, then studies her all suspicious-like and asks her how he'd even know if she were the real Jaime Sommers. Jaime slips into her fake Georgian drawl as she chuckles and tells him she's prettier, then points out that the real Jaime is "at the bottom of the deep blue sea". He goes, "Is she?" then chuckles at the ridiculousness of Jaime being alive and asks her what was so important that she needed to talk to him face-to-face. Jaime stalls, mutters something about "whistlin' Dixie", and asks him if he really thinks the vault is in a secure enough location. He easily falls for the trick and reveals that the vault is located inside the laundry room, and that it has two impenetrable steel doors that are impossible to break into. He then asks her if she's holding out for more money before she's willing to reveal whatever intel is currently being stored in her head, and she's like, "Uh...sure, OK."
In the aftermath of the lipstick bombing, Oscar learns from the cab company that Lisa is on her way to the Courtney Clinic. Dr. Courtney orders Jaime to get the cash box out of the wall safe...and she glances around the room and spots a painting she figures it has to be located behind. He looks at her all suspicious-like again and reminds her that she knows the combination, and she goes, "Raat" and presses her ear against the safe while activating her bionic hearing so she can break the combination. Dr. Courtney looks relieved (sort of) and says he was getting worried for a minute there. He's suddenly called away to Intensive Care for what I'll assume is a real life medical emergency, and orders Jaime to wait for him here. When he exits his office, she bionically overhears him tell Matthews to make sure that she stays put 'cause how how strangely she's acting...then orders him to tell the switchboard to disable his phone line. When Jaime overhears that, she rushes over to the phone to try to call Oscar, but the line has already been pulled. Oscar and a young OSI agent, Russ, are en route to the Courtney Clinic. Oscar gets on his car phone and frantically orders backup. Lisa arrives at the Courtney Clinic and encounters Perkins, gives him a big smooch, and asks him if he knows where Dr. Courtney is. He stares at her in befuddlement and tells her he's in his office, and she lights up a cigarette and steps into the elevator. When Lisa enters Dr. Courtney's office foyer, Matthews stares at her in confusion and goes, "Hey! How did you get out?!" Inside the office, Jaime activates her bionic hearing and soon realizes that her doppelganger is right outside the door. She quickly sneaks onto the balcony, leaps to the ground, and bionically races out of sight. A few seconds later, Lisa and Matthews burst into the office...and Matthews glances around, confused that Jaime is nowhere to be found. Lisa seems oblivious to his confusion and continues her search for Dr. Courtney. Jaime, meanwhile, re-enters the clinic from the front door and runs into an increasingly perplexed Perkins. She smooches him, then enters the elevator...and a few seconds later, Lisa gets off the adjacent elevator. He wails, "How did you doooo that?" and Lisa somehow doesn't consider the possibility that Jaime is in the same building - even though she's fully aware that Jaime didn't actually die in Nassau. She grumbles to herself about how "they've all gone crazy!" Dr. Courtney chides Lisa for not waiting for him in his office, and she's all, "Wuh? and says this is the first time she's seen him today...and then it finally dawns on her that all of this confusion she's seeing from everyone she's encountered in the clinic must be due to Jaime's presence. Now it's Baxley's turn to look confused, and he insists he killed Jaime in Nassau. Lisa just kind of shrugs and explains that she had been detained by the OSI and saw Jaime Sommers with her own eyes. That settled, the band of idiots go off in search of Jaime. Oscar and Russ are still en route to the clinic. The driver tells Oscar he's five minutes away...but if he presses a little harder on the gas, he could make it there in four. Oscar urges him to hit the gas as hard as the speed limit will allow. Jaime locates the vault, just as Baxley enters the laundry room with his gun drawn. Jaime bionically hears him cocking his gun, then leaps behind a pile of laundry bags just as he opens fire. Oscar and Russ finally arrive and storm the clinic. They encounter Dr. Courtney and his men in the main hallway and order them to drop their guns. Baxley snarks at Jaime to come out and stop wasting his time, and she responds by bionically throwing full laundry bags at him, eventually burying him under mounds of dirty sheets and towels. Lisa finds Jaime standing in front of the vault door. She readies her poison darts and says, "Time for you and me to have it out, sugar pie. There's gonna be only one Jaime Sommers now." She throws a few of the darts in Jaime's direction, but Jaime is able to deflect them with her bionic arm. By this time, Oscar and Russ have entered the laundry room - but they're confused by the sight of the two Jaimes who are dressed in nearly identical outfits. Lisa points at Jaime and tries to pass her off as Lisa, and of course Jaime points at Lisa and does the same thing. When Oscar and Russ just stare at each other, and then at each Jaime in total befuddlement, the real Jaime rolls her eyes in exasperation and ends all confusion by bionically leaping up to the ceiling and swinging onto a pipe for a few seconds - while Lisa looks up at her in disbelief and is all, "What the..?" Jaime leaps back down and picks the darts out of her arm, and Lisa exclaims, "You should be dead!" then concedes, "I got your looks, but I shooore don't have your moves." That you don't, Lisa. That you don't.
Oscar tells Jaime that Dr. Courtney's vault was filled with stolen government papers, and that the Secretary wanted to personally thank her for her good work - but he's out of town and apparently can't get to a phone. He tells her that Lisa is going to prison, but that she'll still have her Jaime Sommers face, 'cause apparently her facial tissue will go all out of whack if she has another plastic surgery within the next twelve months. Oscar enters his office and sees the cardboard cutout of himself propped up in his chair - hee! - and Jaime walks over to it and starts talking to it as though it's him, then picks it and carries it out with her. Oscar's all, "Wha-a?" then cracks a rare smile at the silliness of having a cardboard doppelganger. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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